1 Falls Forward, 2 Steps Back

Chapter 2

Chapter 2Emery

“God, I’ve missed this.” Emery Caswell carried the last serving platter from the table and handed it to her mom, who was loading and rearranging the contents of the dishwasher.

“You’ve missed manual labor?” Her mom looked up at her with a bemused expression on her face. “Because I’m more than happy to give you the pleasure of laundry and vacuuming and…”

“Hold on! That’s not exactly what I meant, though of course I’m happy to help. Just being home, not eating fast food or something pre-made that I only have to heat up, is such a treat. I knew grad school would be demanding. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it for the most part, but home is just so…” She couldn’t even find the words but she didn’t have to. It was like this every time she came back from Texas A&M, where she’d worked as a teaching assistant while doing research for her dissertation. But this year was different, because she’d recently graduated and she was a free woman, at least until she found a job.

Home—her parents’ home—was in New Braunfels, Texas. And with Christmas so near, things were even more special. The house radiated warmth with her mom’s tasteful placement of candles and tiny lights. Even now, her dad was starting a fire in the fireplace, though it wasn’t really needed in the mild Texas winter. Still, everything was cozy and familiar and Emery looked fondly about the kitchen she used to complain about having to clean.

Her mom pulled her into a tight hug. “Your being here is all I need. You know that. I hope you find a job close to home. Maybe you could teach at UT Austin.”

“That would be nice. But I won’t hold my breath. There’s no listing so far and even if something came up, I would be at the bottom of the pile of applicants with no experience and not bringing in any sponsorship money. So it’s a lot to hope for.”

“Then for now, I’ll take what I can get when I can get it and hope the future keeps you nearer than you’ve been these past several years. But enough of the maudlin sentiment. Didn’t you have plans for this evening? I can finish this up.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come along?” Emery tilted her head and gave her mom her long-practiced cajoling look.

“No, honey. But thanks for asking. You know these darned knees of mine won’t let me climb all those steps. And your dad has offered to help me bake cookies this evening. I’m not letting him off the hook!” Her mom smiled warmly at her husband of thirty-five years as he headed into the kitchen. He’d been extremely out of sorts since his company downsized last year and forced him into early retirement.

“Mm, which kind? You’re not doing the cut-outs, are you? I always have to help decorate those! Nobody else makes the dinosaurs authentic. I’ll even put frosting holly in one of their mouths to make them more Christmas-y. I can go another night.”

“No, the butter-nut ones. Dad is looking forward to grinding up all the walnuts. Aren’t you, Will?”

Her dad pulled a two-pound bag of nuts from the pantry and grinned as her mom handed him the grinder. “You bet. Nobody does it finer.” He chuckled at his pun.

“Anyway, aren’t they having caroling tonight? I thought you really enjoyed that.” Her mom efficiently pulled baking ingredients from various cabinets and unwrapped two sticks of margarine which she plopped into a huge glass mixing bowl.

“Yup, they are, but I don’t have to go.” Though clearly she was not needed at home.

“Don’t be silly. I know how much you love that place. You can sample some cookies when you get back.” Her mom wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and gave her a gentle push. “Go on now. I’m sure you’ll have a good time. Take a lot of pictures!”

“You bet!” Emery knew her mom was being facetious more than anything, because she came back from every field trip and vacation with pictures only her peers in the geology program could possibly find interesting. Her mom had chided her more than once: “Couldn’t you include a person or two in some of them, if only for scale? I can’t tell if these things are pebbles or boulders.”

Her dad handed her the car keys. Her old car, a gently used Toyota Camry gifted to her by her granddad for her sixteenth birthday, had made it just until graduation and not one day past before needing to be towed on her trip home. Good thing she’d only had about thirty miles left to go. Hopefully the mechanic her dad had used for years would find a way to breathe some life into it for a little while longer without it being too expensive. One more reason besides paying back student loans she couldn’t be too fussy about a job, despite sharing her mother’s hope that it could be close to home.

“I just filled the tank, so you should be good. And the tire pressure checked out okay the other day, too. But call us if you have any problems.” With her dad out of work, there were few projects that lacked his attention. And the old Jeep Cherokee he insisted still had another two hundred thousand miles left in it was his particular baby. She was amazed he was letting her drive it at all!

Emery’s mom winked at her as she pulled her dad away from the door. “Come on, Will. Let the girl go. We have work to do.”

Her parents presented a strong case for settling down and enjoying the comfortable domesticity that came with it, but Emery couldn’t see that for herself, at least not anytime soon, if ever. They dropped hints about grandchildren from time to time, too, as many parents do, but that was a definite no. For Emery, career was everything. Maybe her parents had found love, or believed they had, but for the most part, love wasn’t something tangible. And from what Emery had seen plenty of times, love messed people up more than anything.

She sat up straight in the driver’s seat, catching a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror. A decent enough face. No need to adorn it with make-up that only made her break out anyway. Dark hair and slightly prominent nose that came from her mother’s side. The only striking feature Emery possessed she could thank her paternal grandmother for, as they were the only two in the family with large, greenish-amber eyes. Nothing beautiful, but that was fine with Emery. Whatever she had was enough to get someone in bed with her pretty much any time she wanted it. And she’d taken advantage of that often enough. s*x was a great tonic for the stress of school, that was for sure.

Emery maneuvered the ancient car out of the driveway. After about twenty minutes of bouncing up and down in the vehicle that could benefit from new shocks, Emery turned off to the left and followed the signs, even though she knew her way by heart. As she parked the car, small groups were headed for the visitors’ center, probably the singers arriving before the tours began. Several were dressed in Victorian garb, the women in long, uncomfortable-looking dresses. It was a warm night and they were probably rethinking their choice of costume, but it did enhance the ambience. There was one quartet and another larger group from Austin she’d heard sing in previous years. They were all pretty good, but the acoustics certainly contributed to the quality of the sound.

It would be about another thirty minutes before the first tour started, so she had ample time to peruse the gift shop. The sun was just going down, but the thousands of Christmas lights kept it bright as day. It was a shame, really. You could barely appreciate the surrounding nature. Things had gotten so built up, with too many changes. Except the rocks. There was such comfort in the permanence and longevity of them.

In the gift shop, Emery ran her fingers lovingly through the polished stones separated by type with wooden partitions. She knew every one without reading the signs, gently replacing some which had gotten mixed up as though returning them to their families. They felt smooth and cool on her skin and she allowed them to slide through her fingers for a few minutes as she’d often done as a child. For a couple of dollars you could fill a small velvet drawstring bag with your choices and she could usually talk her mother into letting her do just that. It was a lot cheaper than buying one of the Playmobile sets her friends coveted. So what if she’d always been a little different? It hadn’t stopped her from being successful. The kids who made fun of her were probably all screwed up as adults. She had it all together, and was well on her way to accomplishing all she’d set out to do.

Remembering her current goal, finding something for her parents, Emery’s gaze traveled around the store she knew quite well—it was a rock shop, after all—and stopped at some lovely agate geode bookends that would hold up even her mother’s heaviest books. She’d noticed the cookbooks leaning against one another like toppled dominoes on the bookshelf at one end of the kitchen island. From time to time her mother readjusted the cheap brown metal bookends and shoved the books back into place, but they never stayed. The color would go perfectly with their new countertops. She cringed a little at the price tag, but being at home was saving her a fortune in groceries, so she could afford to splurge a little. She carried the heavy geodes to the checkout and asked to leave them there while she looked around for something for her father.

Practically drooling over a marble chess set that was three times the cost of the bookends, Emery reluctantly dragged herself away. One day, when she was a highly-paid professor at a university, she’d get her dad that set. He loved chess but only had a plastic set that was about forty years old. He swore it was all he needed, but how wonderful it would be to get him one hand-carved out of marble. He’d never have to look at the chipped section of the black rook piece again.

What to get, what to get? He was so much harder to buy for than her mom. What had her mom told Emery just yesterday? She’d asked what her dad was doing to keep busy since retirement, and her mom had mentioned that he’d started having a guys’ night, a real man’s man sort of thing with poker playing and whiskey. Sounded disgusting to her, honestly. Probably next he’d start smoking cigars. Ugh. She loved her dad but why did guys get all weird when they got to middle age?

Wait a minute. Did her mom say whiskey? Emery was sure she’d passed some whiskey stones, granite stone squares that could be frozen and put in drinks without diluting them. She almost laughed out loud. He could literally have whiskey on the rocks! Throw in a few granite coasters and it made for a pretty nice gift. She carried everything to the counter, put her purchases on credit with a small shudder, and made it out the door just in time to place the bags in the car and get her ticket for the first tour if she hurried.

A shiver of excitement coursed through as she took her place at the end of the line where no one would be rushing her, and the small group slowly descended the path to the fogged-up glass doors that would lead them into a world far removed from the bright holiday lights and commercial decorations. To Emery, it was a world that was infinitely more magical than anywhere else she’d ever been. A world that transcended time itself.