1 Falls Forward, 2 Steps Back

Chapter 3

Chapter 3Lina

She must’ve fainted again because the next thing Lina became aware of was someone attempting to lift her off the ground.

“I shall not be carried.”

“Suit yourself, lady.”

He released her and Lina trained her eyes on the stripes on the woman’s vest as she struggled into a sitting position. Lina made sure her skirt properly covered her legs then held out her hand for the man to pull her up. He complied and kept supporting her as she slowly picked her way over the rubble. The woman led the way, shining her torch in front of them.

Not long after they left the pile of bones and decayed matter behind, they encountered broken boards. Lina’s hem snagged on the rough wood but once they were across, the going became easier. Soon their path widened and became brighter. Yet the next turn brought them not out into daylight but into a different section of the cave. The woman with the torch had blocked Lina’s view for most of their walk so far but now she stepped aside.

Lina gasped, her knees buckling. The cave was beautiful! Stalactites and stalagmites everywhere, and despite there being no entrance or exit in sight, they softly gleamed in what could only be a heavenly light. She stole a glance at her rescuer when he steadied her. Maybe he was an angel after all, sent to retrieve her. Who was she to judge what he and the woman were wearing? Maybe she soon would be issued the same garb.

“Are you okay? We’ve got a bit of a way to go still.”

Lina forced herself to nod. She hadn’t wanted to die, but if this was the path to eternity, she could at least walk it proudly.

They passed other people as they went on. Several women in too-long dresses, talking among themselves in hushed tones, watched them as they walked by. Around the next bend stood another group, this one consisting of men and women, all in bizarre clothing. Several wore the same strange hats, bright red with a white brim and a white pommel hanging off the tapered end. Another one had something on his head that looked like antlers, albeit sewn of cloth. They stared openly and Lina averted her face as she was ushered past, for surely this must be purgatory, the middle ground where the poor souls waited whose fate was yet to be decided.

Finally the mouth of the cave loomed before them. Lina faltered, her feet heavy. This was it. Beyond this was the place where she would spend eternity and she hoped with all her might that her beloved Oma was there. She tried to picture the kind face and the warmth in Oma’s eyes but all she saw were the arthritic fingers, gnarly with age, worn out from the many years of hard work caring for her family. Even when old age had reduced her to mostly sitting, she’d still darned everyone’s socks and peeled potatoes.

The woman with the helmet moved to Lina’s free side and gently tugged her forward, with the man still supporting her on the opposite side. Lina took a deep breath and stepped through a set of foggy glass doors someone was holding open. Stars above indicated it was nighttime, but the air was balmy and scented with something Lina could not place. In front of them was a broad pathway, trod smooth by thousands of feet, as it should be, and lit by torches similar to what her two angels carried. And then, all of a sudden, there were people. Many people, waiting in a long line, pointing at her, arms stretched out toward them. She heard strange clicks and flashes of light blinded her as she walked past. But nothing could’ve prepared her for what was still ahead.

Lina’s knees trembled as she took in the numerous lights in red, green, and white and even blue strung from tree limbs and other wooden posts without branches, and she began praying again. Again in Latin, then, her knowledge soon exhausted, in German, reverting back to every childhood prayer she could recall. There was a smell of cinnamon in the air, and of greasy sweetness, but above all there were the lights. Over her, in front of her, and on each side, some of them fading in and out like glowworms, only so much brighter.

Still they passed people, throngs of them, and they all stared. Lina lifted her chin and walked on.

“Gegruesset seist du Maria voll der Gnade…”

She was stopped eventually and made to sit, and still she kept praying as lights flashed all around her.

“What is she saying?”

“What language is that?”

“Ich glaube an Gott, den Vater, den Allmaechtigen…”

“German. She’s speaking German. Praying.” A young man—no, a woman wearing trousers—emerged from the crowd surrounding them and stopped directly in front of her. “Sprecken sie Englisch, Frau…?”

The woman repeated the sentence twice and more clearly each time while Lina finished her prayer.

“Ja, I mean, yes.” It was hard to focus on the woman with all the blinking lights behind her, so Lina concentrated on the lighter oval that was her face. “My name is Lina. Karolina Gaugenrieder. Am I in heaven?”

“No.”

The woman gave a startled laugh, but her eyes never left Lina’s. They were compelling eyes, intelligent and curious, yet kind, and Lina clung to them as someone wrapped something around her arm before attaching something else to her finger. A third person, another man, heavyset and older, pushed in between Lina and the woman.

“Nein, bitte. Bitte nicht gehen!”

Lina grabbed the woman’s arm with her free one before the woman could turn away and struggled to break free from the strange contraptions.

“Can you just stay for a minute, miss? You seem to have a calming effect on her.”

“Why not?” The woman with the kind eyes turned once again to Lina. “Ich bin here. Keine…keine…Angst, bit-eh.”

“Danke, um, thank you. Thank you kindly, miss.”

“It’s okay.” The woman laid a hand on Lina’s arm as she sat next to her on the cot and Lina’s heart stopped racing. Maybe the woman was one of her ancestors or even her guardian angel.

“Unit twenty-seven. We have an approximately forty-year-old German-speaking white female at Natural Bridge Caverns with witnessed LOC and mild head trauma likely resulting from a fall, heart rate seventy-six, BP 123 over 74, satting at ninety-six percent in room—er, outside—air, temp 98.8. Two centimeter left forehead laceration, appears superficial. No other injuries or complaints of pain noted. Altered mental status, request to transport. ETA approximately twenty-eight minutes.”

The older man removed the strap from her arm with a tearing sound and rolled it up. “Is there anyone here with you, ma’am? Do you want us to call someone to meet you at the hospital?”

Hospital? Hospital?

Lina shook her head as doubt snuck in. The kind-eyed woman had said that where they were wasn’t heaven and Lina believed her. What if this was just a glimpse of what heaven could be? What if—and here doubt morphed into fear and then into full-out panic—God in his almighty wisdom had decided to condemn her for her unseemly wants and wishes? Remembering the furtive glances she’d stolen at her female friends growing up and her ill-concealed joy when practicality had forced closeness with any of them, Lina’s heart sank even lower. There had been only one woman with whom things had gone farther, and not for very long at that, but—

The warmth of the kind-eyed woman next to her disappeared. The woman was addressing her, but Lina couldn’t quite make out the words. Nor could she make out her features as the whole form in front of her was swimming in and out of focus. Still, Lina knew this was farewell, potentially forever, and in despair, she clambered off the cot and after the woman. Except her knees buckled almost as soon as her feet touched the ground and she found herself unceremoniously hoisted back on the cot.

“Now, ma’am, if you’d just—”

“No! I’m not going. I’m an honorable woman, you hear?”

“Lady, we’re just trying to—

“No!”

Lina swung at the man as he reached for her, throwing herself at him with all her might.

“Patient combative. Asking permission to administer—”

A sharp prick in her arm and the world around Lina went black.