Sin of Lust

CHAPTER 14

Sin of Lust by Swapie Achilles

CHAPTER XIV

OCTOBER

The wind caresses Mary Jane’s face and it brings tranquility in her heart and mind, her hair sways along the rhythm of the breeze. It was so peaceful that she doesn’t want to open her eyes and just stay there where she can be one with peace.  

She took a final deep breath before she decided to open her eyes and see the beauty of the place she’s in, and the first thing she saw is kids waving off as their new family picks them up at the gate. One of her beloved children is waving goodbye for the last time before he finally went off.

The wide smile of the kid’s face as he gets inside the carriage is something that no riches on earth can compare. The joy is visible on his smiles, which made her heart melt in joy and pain.

“How did it happen?” she mumbled inside her head.

Her face may be smiling and her hand is waving sending her warmest goodbye as her other hand hold the hand of another child, but her heart doesn’t feel anything. She’s like a doll being controlled by strings and no life on its own.

A string to thin that it is so easy to severe, and a single cut will surely make her crumble.

“How…” she’s too numb that she doesn’t feel that the time has passed, she felt like she was just having a fever yesterday but now there she is, standing there watching her child be with their new family.

“How can this happen?” she once again asked herself as she scans the whole place from where she’s standing, the faces of the children that were also waving, yet some are crying.  

“We’ll see again, Pat!” the kid she’s holding shouted as he let go of his hand and runs on his own.

“How long has it been? Since I arrived.” She paused for a moment and look back to see the church she’s been serving for years. “Ten years… How can I let this all happen?”

The church did not change that much, from its cold walls and ceilings, to warm beds and foods of the convent behind it, the only thing that changes in the past ten years are the faces of the kids coming and going from her embrace.

“Sister Mary Jane?” a voice of a woman brought her back from her train of thoughts, and she finds herself staring at the space where the carriage was.

She slowly looked around only to see a beautiful young lady talking to her with a child on her arms sucking its small thumb, “are you alright?” the woman asked with her soft eyebrows creased.

“I…” Mary Jane was tongue-tied, she couldn’t articulate any words for her to reply from the fact that she doesn’t even comprehend how fast the time has passed to the point that she didn’t realize that the lady she’s talking with is Blanche.

“Blanche, huh…” she breathes out with so much exhaustion on her voice.

The children around them went running away from them back to the convent and the kid in Blanche’s arms were taken by Gregoria.

“Let me have this cute little ball of sunshine and drool. It looks like it’s going to rain, you two should get in before it starts.” She warned them as she too went to follow the kids.

“Okay, Sister Gregoria, we’ll be there.” Blanche replied with a simple nod.

Thus, the children and nuns proceeded to get back to the convent, hoping that Pat the kid who just left with his new family finds his own happiness. Leaving the two of them along at the gates.

“Yes, it’s me.” She replied in confusion, finally replying to Mary Jane. “The one and only.” She smiled at her.

“You grew up so beautiful.” She mumbled as she touches the young lady’s cheek.

“What are you saying, Sister Mary Jane?” she inquired as she holds the hand on her cheek.

“How…” Mary Jane let go of her face and turns around and look at the sun that’s hiding behind the dark clouds that seems close to crying, “how did I let this happen.” She smiled, yet her smile shows all the pain that’s accumulated all these years of bearing the same routine that became her life.

“Sister…” Blanche steps forward to pat her shoulder but she was cut off.

“I let them get toyed,” she whispered, “and I couldn’t help them…” the older nun’s smile widens as wide as the invisible wounds in her heart broadens letting the blood that flows in a form of tears.

The moment the first drop of her lamentation escapes from her eyes, it was the same time the heavens began to weep.

“No! you did what you can!” Blanche held her shoulder, “you did all you can do!”

“But… was it enough?” she looked from her shoulder and asked her, her question made Blanche grew silent, “was it enough not to make the beast touch Melody?”

“Melody and Micah are both in the safe hands now, they were adopted by one of the richest right?” she asked. “And that’s because of you!”

“Am I enough to protect Karen?” her eyes start to get blurry and her shoulders became shaky.

“But you manage to send her to another orphanage. Remember that time? When it was raining cats and dogs outside and sneak her out before the Daleon could go any further? No one else can do that, but you!” Blanche tried to argue with her.

“What about Laila? Even Caspire… the young sweet Caspire…” there were no visible tears cascading on her cheeks for it’s drowned by the droplets of the rain.

“I wasn’t able to protect them.” she whispered through her clenched jaw.

“You protected them! You protected us!” Blanche refrain her voice from shouting, and it comes out as forceful whisper. “Don’t you remember?” but her words seem like it goes through her ear and exit on the other.  

They were both soaked from the rain but none of them moves, no one dares to leave one another. Even though the water from above is as cold as their hearts no one was able to feel the chill.

“I can’t remember how many children went through his hands,” Mary Jane whispers and let the coldness embrace her whole being. “I can’t remember how many cries of the innocent have heard by these walls, how many screams, how many pleadings, how many tears have shed in the past ten years and yet here I am… I couldn’t do anything. I wasn’t able to do anything, I am useless.”

“But… but you protected me, right.” Blanche murmurs, “I am right here because of you. I am now one of the nuns here because of you. You protected me. You’re my hero. You protected me, so don’t say that…”

“When wills this end?” she asked weakly, “I’m tired of this.”

Blanche clenched her fist and grits her teeth as she hangs her head low.

It is already dinner when the two nuns return and all they see is the usual utter mess of the kids. Shaira, one of the kids that’s currently living under the orphanage’s roof is running around playing with Jem, another kid who has the same age as her.

“Chase me! I bet you can’t!” Shaira beamed as she runs around the hallway of the dining hall while laughing to her hearts content.

“I will definitely catch you!” Jem beamed and run after her, her little hands outstretch to get her.

“Kids, please don’t play in the dining hall!” Gregoria yelled, holding bunch of plates as they ready the food for their dinner, “how many times do I have to tell them?” she sighed.

 “Oh my god!” Sister Tinkah exclaimed when she saw a kid choking another kid at the corner.

“So, you’re saying I have fat arms, huh?!” the girl proclaimed as she keeps her arms around a boy’s neck in a headlock. “Well then have a taste, you butthole!” she yelled and grips the boy’s neck tighter.

The boy only taps her arms in a few times for he can’t breathe anymore.

“Bernadette, don’ kill Vincent!” Tinkah shouted, “Raven, will you please get her off of Vincent? She’s going to kill her!”

Raven only sighed as he trod on their way, “For god’s sake, why do I have to be their referee?” yet he still goes and put his arms around Bernadette’s head in the same headlock manner, “Come on, fatty get off!”

“Sister, Iggy is eating we haven’t said our prayers yet!” Red yelled and Paul with Sean laughs at him.

“I did not!” Iggy yelled back.

“Sister!” a feminine voice interrupted Tinkah from behind her and there she saw Shella holding the little boy’s hand.

“What is it Shella?” Tinkah sighed, “at least we still have quiet-type kids around.”

“Renzi said can’t pee alone, he’s too scared to even walk without anyone by his side so I’ll go with him.” she said as the boy slightly squirmed.

“Okay, but be back quickly.” Tinkah said with a small smile.

“Yes, sister,” they both replied.

Tinkah exhaled, “Although they are rowdy kids, I can’t deny they’re so cute!”

“Sister Tinkah~ Corin couldn’t breathe.” Bernadette stated.

“She what?!” Tinkah hollered, “what happened, what was she doing?!”

“We were just laughing out loud when sister Marietta called us and there she is, she couldn’t breathe.” The little girl calmly said.

“How can you be so calm at this point?” She whisper-yelled, “where is she?”

“She’s over there…” Bernadette pointed to where Corin is.

“We’re fine now!” Judy shouted, “she can breathe! She just chokes from her own saliva but she’s fine now.”

“What the heck is wrong with these kids?” Tinkah sighed in exasperation.

However, Daleon only laughs at their liveliness, “My, my, aren’t their lovely?”

“But father Daleon…”

“Kids are more beautiful when they are full of energy…” Daleon said as his eyes scanned them.