Put your head on my shoulder

Chapter 8: Key ring- Bus ride(3)

 Trying to get over your first love? It's easier said than done.

Especially when the said crush is someone who fate keeps throwing your way. If you believe in fate-well, to be totally honest I didn't but started to after I met a certain someone. Yes, I know that sounds all sappy and a line out of a romance novel, but that's just how it was for me.

I watched her every day, every single morning when she walked to school with her friends, occasionally fiddling with her bracelet; every single evening on the bus after her violin classes, with her head lolling on my shoulder as I couldn't help lending my shoulder to the sleeping girl even though I knew she liked someone else.

Thank god she didn't wake up whenever this happened.

However, I ceased to stick those sticky notes on her case; I thought it would be too burdensome for her to read them when her heart already belonged to someone else.

This fact made me feel like someone had wretched my own heart from my chest so I tried to not think or ponder on it much and tried, really tried to move on.

But every time I made up my mind to, I would find my eyes searching for her again.

She was beautiful- seeing her almost everyday didn't help too. It was as if the heavens were against me; they kept making us cross paths...

"Oh, I'm so so sorry!" I heard her apologize profusely and bow ninety degrees in front of a sour looking elder girl in the bus one evening. She accidentally hit the sullen girl's head with her violin case while boarding the bus because of an unexpected jolt.

The twenty-something girl scoffed at her and shot Se-ra a glare. If looks could kill, Se-ra would've dropped dead by now.

The bus was once again almost filled, the only two seats left were one next to the sulky girl and one next to a balding old man who was snoring loudly. I saw Se-ra weigh her options briefly, and then with a long drawn out sigh.

Tightening the strap of her violin case, she walked towards the end of the bus and gripped the handrail. Her delicate looking long fingers were wrapped around it tightly, as if she had never held it before in her life. Maybe she hadn't; I had never expected to see her use the public transport, seeing that she was an heiress and all.

I couldn't just bear to see her standing, and even though I was dead tired after returning from work, I gathered up all the courage I had and finally spoke to her,

"Excuse me!" my voice came out too nervous sounding than usual but she heard me and turned her head to look me right in the eye.

When her brown orbs met mine, it felt- it's hard to describe the feelings I felt in that split second.

"Yes?" her voice, the voice which starred in my dreams, the voice which had enchanted me when I first saw her; her voice broke my reverie.

"Um...Please do sit here." I got up from my seat and gestured her to take it. It was a miracle that my knees didn't shake. My heart was hammering away in my chest, beating like a hummingbird's wings. I was half-convinced that everyone in the bus could hear my loud and treacherous heartbeat.

"Oh, it's okay really." Her eyes widened a bit.

"No, please I insist." I tried to sound firm and a light blush spread her cheeks. It made my heart skip a beat, her face looked so pretty.

"What?" her eyebrows furrowed and I realized that I might've muttered my thoughts out loud. Thankfully, she didn't hear it properly.

"Nothing. Please sit here, you look tired." I politely said and she relented and nodded a thanks.

I gripped the same metal handrail that she had been holding on to a moment ago, and the usually cold metal felt warm, as if her hands had warmed it.

A few beats of silence passed and she suddenly whipped her head in my direction and said,

"We've met before, right? That day, on the bus?"

'Yes, Se-ra we've met a quite a few times actually. I kind-of observe you every day and am obsessed with you. Whenever you fall asleep in the bus, my shoulder acts as your personal pillow. I'm the one who's been writing you those secret admirer notes. I think I love you.' I couldn't say those things so I said this instead,

"Um, yeah." I nervously rubbed my neck with my right hand (It's a habit).

"I'm Kang Se-ra. Nice to meet you." She smiled up at me. It undid something within me; whenever I saw her smile, her brown eyes twinkling.

"Min Yoongi." I nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak more, I couldn't. My face felt hot, and I cursed my pale skin.

A silence descended then, a comfortable one where she turned and looked out of the bus window and I in turn couldn't tear my gaze off her.

Then, just as suddenly as she had asked me whether we had met before, she turned her head and said,

"Yoongi-ssi, are you a high school student too?"

"Yes. Senior year."

"Oh, me too." A grin and then, "Do you have a pen or a pencil with you by any chance?"

"Ah, yes I do. One second." I patted my pockets and gave her my favorite pen as it was the only pen I wrote songs with.

"Thank you." She smiled brightly and I was sure then and there that I would give her anything, whatever she asked me, as long as she would grin at me like that.

She took out a notebook from her grey case and tore a page from it. Then she started drawing something on it. I tried to subtly make out what she was drawing but only could make out swirls of ink. It seemed as if she was drawing a sketch but I wasn't sure.

She finished her sketching before her stop came and folded the sheet, stuffing it inside her pocket.

When the bus skidded to a halt at her stop, she got up and returned the pen with a "Thank you Yoongi-ssi. See you around."

I nodded at her politely and moved to sit back in the seat she had vacated, only to see that the Eiffel Tower silver keyring which was always attached to her grey violin case was on the bus floor underneath the seat.

I picked it up and rushed forward to the front of the bus hastily to return it and stop her, but the bus driver had started driving, and her silhouette had disappeared round the corner, probably stepping into the gates of her huge mansion-like house.

Having no choice but to return to my seat, I clutched the keyring in my hand, caressing it with my palm.

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I knew at that particular moment that I could never get over her and even after all these years that have passed; I've never gotten over Kang Se-ra. My first love, the only girl I've ever liked.

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