Put your head on my shoulder

Chapter 7: Confession

It became a routine of mine; to paste sticky notes, trying to express my feelings in words because that's what I knew best; on Se-ra's violin case whenever she rode the same bus as me.

Bus no. 98 became my favorite place to be at. The days when I didn't go work at my part time job and hence didn't ride the bus became way too long for me.

I never knew for sure if she even read my notes yet I continued to write them. It was the only way I could ever think of to confess.

I learned that she went to a professional music academy for classical music classes from overhearing some of my friends discussing about the new musical prodigy in town.

Apparently, she played the piano and violin very well; she had even performed abroad. Well, after hearing her play that day at the farewell party I didn't doubt the fact.

She seemed a bit tired whenever I saw her board the bus unlike when I saw her in the mornings; on her way to school. I think it was because she was coming back from her music classes and thus seemed a bit drained.

Nevertheless, she always managed to look beautiful. I loved it when her hair wasn't tied in a ponytail or a braid and flowed all around her pretty face. The expression she made when deep in thought (which was most of the time); with her lower lip in between her front two teeth and her eyes having that faraway look in them- that made my heart always skip a beat.

It wasn't as if nobody around me noticed a change in me; my brother was the first to point it out when he saw me humming a tune, I had heard Se-ra hum many times by herself,

"Well that's new, don't you usually prefer rapping?" he had an amused yet confused expression on his face.

"Hyung! You never knock and enter!" I hastily scrambled to hide the sheets of paper lying on my desk for him to see. I had been randomly writing some lines that made me think of Se-ra and they were way too embarrassing for my brother to see.

I mean, he is sure very close to me and we share everything with each other but...

"What are you trying to hide?" it only spurred his curiosity and he tried to peep over my shoulder while I desperately tried to block him.

Unfortunately for me, he picked up a sheet which had accidentally fallen down and read it. A knowing smile broke out on his face while mine turned beet root red with embarrassment. He simply asked,

"Who is she?"

_________________________________________________________

'Today I'll do it, I'll surely try to talk to her!'

I mentally chanted it to boost up some confidence. Hyung had advised me to "at least go and try to talk to her". According to my brother and I quote his exact words-

"There's no harm in talking. It's not as if she'll eat you up."

And while it was very easy of him to say, my palms were clammy with sweat and my heart was threatening to burst out of my body as I mentally prepared myself to go and talk to Se-ra.

It was a Thursday morning and I was standing near her school's entry gate, leaning on a nearby tree trunk. Girls were either cycling or walking to school and I could see her too- she was talking to that friend of hers who always seemed to be around her.

Thankfully my basketball friends weren't here today; many of the players had their teacher taking an extra class in the morning. I shudder to think of all the teasing comments and elbow nudges I would've gotten.

Her hair was tied in a high ponytail today, which was swinging back and forth with each step she took. Each step which was bringing her closer and closer to her school gate; closer to where I was standing.

'Min Yoongi you can do this! Just be like when you are on stage; muster up that confidence. You can perform in front of a crowd without stuttering or breaking out a sweat so talking to one girl should be easy enough.'

I tried to calm my inner self which was freaking out and which replied with a- 'Who are you kidding, of course it won't be easy!'

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to calm myself, I was just one step away from extreme hyperventilation.

It had never been easy for me to just go and talk to someone let alone a girl. I had always been a bit of an introvert and still am - I prefer silence to useless chatter.

Yet, what won't I give to listen to her chatter all day!

"Careful!" her friend stopped her yet again from tripping and falling. She was always lost in her own world.

"Ah thanks!" she gave her friend a sweet smile which made my racing heart suddenly skip a beat.

'At this rate I'll have a heart attack for sure!'

"Princess Clumsy where is your mind these days? You are tripping more than usual." Her friend elbowed her. They were close now, so I took a few steps forward, mentally getting ready to talk to her and thinking of ways to start a conversation.

"You're thinking about him again ,right? " her friend teased in a sing song voice when she got no response from Se-ra and I halted in my tracks.

A thousand questions burned in my mind when I saw a blush spread on her fair cheeks. My heart suddenly felt heavy.

"Kang Se-ra, don't tell me you already like him?! Have you even talked to him?" her friend raised her eyebrows and Se-ra tried to look everywhere but at her friend.

'She likes someone?'

It was when she was trying to evade her friend's penetrating gaze that her eyes met mine. And she stared at me. I stared back; all those questions about "Did she like someone? Who was he?" forgotten momentarily.

Her brown orbs were strangely addicting and I couldn't bring myself to look away; my earlier shyness and nerves suddenly gone.

She didn't break eye contact and neither did I.

Ultimately, it was her friend who snapped her fingers in front of Se-ra's face and she finally turned away.

"Who-" her friend began but Se-ra had already started walking again. She crossed me and I just stood there, unable to muster up any of the old confidence that I was trying to a few minutes ago.

I didn't read much into the staring though, (even if that had made my heart pound and butterflies dance in my stomach) because I had often observed her stare off randomly into the distance and I had perhaps merely been in her way.

Her friend rushed to catch up with her, calling out her name;

"Kang Se ra-yah! Slow down, wait for me!"

I watched her walk inside the school gates, her violin case's mini-Eiffel tower key-ring jiggling with each step she took further away from where I was standing.