Finding herself

Chapter 15: Forgotten

For the whole day, or what was left of it, I spent with Sebastian. And we didn't watch television if that's what you think.

He showed me the limits of my body and what it can do. He showed me what could be used as toys and he had some toys as well. My favorite was the whip. And not just because of the feeling it gave me when it was being used on me, but the fact that you can beat someone with it. It could be useful someday.

Night came and I started to get bored. I looked out of the window and saw the full moon, that peaked above the tree line.

"Hey, why don't we go do something fun?" I asked Sebastian and he looked at me funny.

"Isn't this, what we have been doing, fun?" He resumed washing the dishes in just his boxers and might I say, his butt looked delicious.

"It is, but I want to do something new. And I read that the night of a full moon is the perfect time to do it." I slapped his butt as I put my cup in the sink for him to wash. I leaned on the counter and watched him.

"You have to be more specific, they also say it's a perfect time for werewolves to make a baby, but that's not happening." He looked at me disapprovingly at my action and I snorted out loud at his words.

"Well, I didn't know that, but thanks for letting me know. And I meant it's the perfect night to turn and run as a wolf. I haven't done it before and I think that today would be perfect. Also, I can't imagine going through the change with anybody but you." I kissed him and his eyes lit up.

"Oo, I have been waiting for this since we met. I can't wait to see if your wolf is as beautiful as you. Come, let's go."

I couldn't contain my cheeks blushing at his words as he pulled me along behind him. We ran down the stairs and with each floor down, my smile got bigger. When we reached the street, I was outright laughing. Both with excitement and a little bit of fear.

We reached the tree line and walked a little bit further until we couldn't see the street lights anymore.

"Is it going to hurt like the first time?" I asked Sebastian and rubbed my clammy hands together. I got more and more nervous.

I felt Onyx couldn't wait to be set free and was almost shaking with the need to run. It happened a little every full moon, but tonight I felt more connected to her for some reason. Either because of our talk or because so much time has passed, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

"Probably. It's been a long time since your first shift. It is supposed to be easier every time, but I think this one won't be easy at all. And I think it will be worse because, without your trigger, the change won't happen. So you will have to have the will to change the whole time. It will be hard, but remember that I'm here every step of the way." He held my hands in his and his eyes glowed the sexy yellow I was used to.

His touch helped me with my nerves a little and I kissed him. That seemed to help like a drug and I felt like I was floating on a cloud.

My senses were suddenly heightened and I felt my eyes glow. Onyx was right there with me and it felt right.

'Ready?' She asked me as I kept kissing Sebastian.

'I guess it's now or never,' I answered and deepened the kiss with Sebastian, knowing the next part wouldn't be as nice.

I felt my right wrist snap out of place and it hurt so badly, I fell to the floor and could barely contain a scream of pain from escaping my mouth.

Sebastian dropped to his knees, pulled my chin up, and kissed me again. I have to admit, it did help with the pain and I was grateful.

Next was my left shoulder, the snap sent me flying on my back. I couldn't contain my scream that time and I let it all out, it seemed to help.

"Baby, I'm going to need to you listen to me, ok?" Sebastian spoke up, holding me by my leg. "I'm going to help you, but you have to let it happen. Whatever you do, don't stop, because it will hurt more."

Just then my spine realigned and I screamed my question at him, all the while my head was ringing from pain. "And how do I do that?" My left wrist snapped. Next, my pinky finger is on the left hand.

I felt him running his fingers through my hair as I convulsed on the forest floor.

"Think of your happy place. Where you feel the most at peace, where all of your worries disappear. It can be a place or a person or a time of your life." My pelvis tore and realigned itself, not before I screamed louder than I ever have. "Listen to me, Anya. Baby, think. Where do you feel the happiest?"

I only had one thing on my mind, and it was him. All the nights and moments we shared, all firsts, all kisses, I remembered everything. It made me happy the most to be with him.

I imagined when we were lying in bed, our fingers intertwined, laughing about a show we watched a couple of hours earlier.

Then my right knee snapped. It realigned itself in a different position, but it didn't hurt as much, I could breathe through the pain and it went away. Next were my ribs, same story.

I kept imagining our favorite moments together, while he kept brushing my hair with his fingers.

"That's right baby, keep going. You're doing great. Just a little bit more and this agony will be over, then we will be free to run wherever you want to go." He kissed my forehead and my bones started to snap at a quicker pace.

I felt my tail growing, my hands and feet turned into paws, my face turned into a snout and my whole body grew fur. That part kind of tickled me.

'You did it, baby, I'm so proud of you' I heard Sebastian say in my head and I opened my eyes to see him standing in his wolf form above me. His wolf was the same color as his hair, eyes yellow like gold.

He licked my face over and over and I realized, I was still lying on the floor on my back. I rolled over and stood up, kind of wobbly on four legs. I imagined I looked like a newborn foal.

I looked at my paws and I saw thick black fur covering me. I took a few careful steps and soon, I was walking and then running.

I could hear a squirrel opening nuts in a tree above me, an owl watching me as I ran past her. I could hear Sebastian running behind me, barely catching up.

I turned slightly right and a clearing opened up before me. I stopped suddenly and Sebastian almost slammed right into me.

The view was amazing, the sun shone right in the middle, where green, fluffy grass covered the floor.

I heard a small stream in the distance and something that didn't belong.

With my heightened hearing I heard three heartbeats. And I knew I wasn't pregnant so there was someone here that didn't belong.

The fur on my back stood upright and a low growl erupted from my throat in warning.

Next, I heard a small whimper and rustling of leaves just ahead of me. I growled louder this time and I got a growl back. But not from the creature in front, but from Sebastian.

'What's your problem?' I snapped at him and barred my teeth at him.

He didn't answer, but stood in front of me, facing me as if I was the enemy.

'Submit.' I warned him and I could see him struggling under my command, but he held his ground.

Just then a small grey wolf stepped out of its hiding spot and laid down, barring its neck in submission. I could smell it didn't belong to our pack and I was worried about being discovered. Sebastian was clearly being stupid and reckless.

'Please don't hurt her.' I heard Sebastian's strained voice plead to me.

'Why shouldn't I? She's trespassing and could be a spy. She could tell someone about us. Why are you being stupid and irrational right now?' I softened my voice, I couldn't stay mad at him.

'Well, it's kind of hard to tell you. It brakes my heart to do this to you, but she's my mate.' He then turned into his human form and at the same time my heart sank. I always knew it was bound to happen, and it's not like I'm in love with him, but I thought we had more time together.

'Are you sure?' I asked him through the mind link since I was still in my wolf form.

"I am. She's my mate. I will take care of her, I promise, she won't tell anyone about us. Can you leave us now? I would like to get to know her. Alone." He told me and sadness took over. I knew what being alone with him meant.

I turned around and started running in the direction we came from. The trail of scent was still fresh and it was easy to find my way back.

Tears fell off my face as I ran so fast, I could barely see where I was going.

How could he forget about me so fast? About us? I thought we had something special going on, even if it wasn't love. And to forget about it in a second, just because of someone you just met.

'Calm down' Onyx said in a stern voice.

'Why should I? Why aren't you upset? Aren't you angry too? He did the same to us, as our mom did to our dad. It's not fair.' I was so angry, my head started ringing from pressure.

'Calm down now. You're affecting the whole pack with your anger. This ringing you hear? They hear it too, but times a hundred. You're hurting every single member of the pack, so, please, calm down. Everything will be fine, you'll get through this.'

I stopped in my tracks and controlled my breathing. When I was calm enough, I had another question ready.

'How do you know? All this crap I had to endure, we had to endure, and now this stupid teenage crush has gone wrong, my life is a complete mess and it will never get any better.' My lungs were on fire and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

'Now we're getting into another extreme. You're having a panic attack. Just relax, think about the good stuff that happened.' She tried to push my mind into happy thoughts, but I couldn't help but do the opposite.

'It's not working.' I told her and I started to get dizzy, so I laid down.

'Try and think about all the good times we had with our friends. All of those times you enjoyed going to work, even those amazing nights we had with Sebastian. It's not all bad. It's never all bad.' It was working slowly, as I imagined the times Sebastian and I laughed in his bed in the morning, every table I cleaned at my job, and every dance I danced with my friends.

'Ok, I think I'm better now.' I told her when I calmed myself down completely and the dizziness was gone.

'Great. So what do you want to do now?' She asked me and I had the perfect answer.

'I need to punch something.' I told her and already started running in the direction of the gym.