Insecure

Chloe

"Today, I have to get my head working again and try to be productive". I said to myself for the 100th time.

Does this happen to just me? thinking my day will be productive but laziness won"t allow it.

determined that I won't waste another 24 hours as I have been doing since that night thinking about things that I know will never come true, I stood up and went to the café just down the street with my laptop and on getting there, I see 'Chloe' and i immediately know that today ain't gonna be nice to me at all. Before i turned to walk away, she called out loud drawing the attention of the customers at the café.

"Fatty, where do you thnk you're going? I heard someone saw you with Vincent, how dare you?". She screeched andi took a step back wondering why life hates me.

"I don't understand what you're talking about Chloe and please stop making a scene". I said hoping she would notice the amount of attention she had drawn to us already but no she only got madder than before.

"Did you just tell me to shut up? you got a lot of nerve don't you?. what did Vincent even see in you fatty, he shiouldn't walk or hang around trash!". She said screaming and looking at me like I  killed her puppy and as much as I hate scenes like this and embarrassment,, I just had to reply her.

"Chloe, if he thought you were better, he'd have stayed with you, right? and please i raelly don't know why we are arguing over someone that doesn't even know we exist". I said, voicing my thoughts as i couldn't hold my tongue back anymore.

"Speak for yourself fatty". She answered and stepped away from me.

Instead of sitting, I just left the café cause I know that this chat with Chloe just got me both disoriented and moody.

"Why are you back so early, sis". Diana asks as she sees me enter quietly.

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling well". i said just to dismiss her cause all i wanted to do right now is to sleep away my worries that are showing their ugly haed after keeping them down for so many years. Thaat 'night' did something to me, it made me raelise ugly truths that i had been trying to ignore.

"Uh, earth to Beatrice". She said, drawing my attention back to her. "We both know that anytime you say this, youre upset. well, I'm gonna leave you tonight youll tell me when you're ready". She said and left me alone with my thoughts which I was grateful for.

Knowing that sleep won't come to me anymore, I opened my browser to  browse the name Chloe mentioned 'Vincent'.

There are a whole lot of Vincent's in this world though but i found him not just because his name was the first on the list but also because he looks so handsome, it's questionable.

OMG

I slept with the Avaresh fist son, how stupid could I be not to know his face. To other girls, this would be an accomplishment as I know he is the most sought after bachelor ever. But for me who is still in the process of looking for a job, it's bad news. The Avaresh's are the buggest business establishment I've heard of, although I don't know the name of their company, I know that they have over 700 branches in different countries aroungd the globe not to think of the sub-branches and i slept with their CEO.

OMG, if word get's out, I'm ruined. Like literally ruined, no one would hire me.

Way to go luck! I do something once and it comes back to haunt me when other people are doing the same with little to no consequences.

No, it's not like you're the first girl this had ever happened to and moreover, there are many other companies who are not partners with the Avaresh'. My mind speaks and it's right.

So i tone down my worries and begin to look on sites for vacancies to jobs that fit mybdegree, and i came across one that looked like it was a scam. Who pays $50,000 to a content creator for a month? sham right? but i checked it ou anyway, you know to be sure and not let this opportunity pass me by if it is actually genuine.

I applied for the job and the email actually sent! well, let's see how that goes. i didn't just stop there but continued applying till i applied for another 4 jobs with an average pay. i can't afford to put all my eggs in one basket, can I?

That's all i did and lay back down thinking about how my life would go? I'd probably end up single forever with cats. I also started remembering all the things Chloe has said to me on the day of the Masquerade ball and today, They are all harsh but true,.Vincent would never like or even think of ever liking someon like me when he has beautiful models and gorgeous ladies all over.

We are complete opposites, he is a very wealthy man, I'm an average girl,

He is handsome as hell, well I'm plane old Jane

He has dated so many models and beautiful woman. I don't fit anywhere.

He must be regretting that night cause I didn't know what to do at all, I let him do all the work but it was amazing for me and I'm not going to ruin that by thinking negative thoughts.

 I'm not saying I'm in love, just that I'm finally catching up to realty, and as much as i love the Cinderella's and co tales,

Life is not a fairytale  but the real deal and I have to accept that whether I like it or not.