Insecure

It's that time of the year again where I have to be reminded about how I look. I'm the only one in the family with this thick and ugly body, I have a sister and a brother both of who look like models, so I'm the black sheep of the family. No looks, fat face, thick thighs and laps and massive introvert, I'm smart but that's all there is that is good about me.Now standing in front of the mirror with this fitted gown, I can see all the fat around my thighs and laps. i can't wear this, people will laugh, so I changed into a turquoise flay gown with crystals all over but I still look somehow in the mirror."Do i have to  attend this masquerade ball?I know I can't miss it if I wanna live In peace, as in my mom will never let me hear the end of it, I didn't attend for about 3 years. 'Maybe I should sit this one out again and face the consequences'. I said to myself and almost immediately, my sister entered looking like a Disney princess, with a red gown sitted with a cut on on side, showing off her beautiful legs, making me fell more aware of myself than before."You"re not going without make up,, are you?". Diana asked looking at me like i just grew two heads. "It's not a requirement to put on make up to the ball, is it? after all, I'm wearing a mask". I said as I tried to go around her but she blocked me from doing so with her body. "Sit down, I'll do your make up and please let's not argue on this one, we're already late". She did my makeup as I also saw that we were late and belive me, you don't want to meet my mom when we are late for an event like this, she is like a screaming monster. We got to the ball when it was already in full swing, as soon a we got there, my whole family dispersed to mix up and say hi to old acquaintances. So I just went to the bar to order some drinks and as I sat om the stool waiting for my oreder, the door ropened to reveal the most hansome man I ave ever seen. he fits perfectly to my imagination almost exceeding the most beautiful craerture I have ever imagine. His entry brough gasps not just from my mouth but from the mouths of all the women here with eyes, like how can you not? this is perfection. "I don't think you have the right to be looking at him like that. He'd never notice you fatty". I haerd the vile voice of Chloe just behind me and I stood up, with my back still facing her and walked away, wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing my teary eyes. On getting to the balcony, my tears had already fallen severally from my eyes but I made no sound. The harsh reality just came crashing down on me. I've been dreaming about a man like that loving me for me but I've always known deep down that a man like that would never like me not to talk of loving me. "Excuse me, are you crying?". Someone said not too far awayfeom me causing me to jump startled to haer a vice this close when I thought I was the only one here. "Um. no I'm not". I replied, covering my hair with my face more when I saw that the person before me was the man I had been swooning over inside the hall. "It's okay, I can go somewhere else". He said about to head out of the balcony when I stopped him saying. "it's fine, we can both stay here". I said hoping he would and he agreed with a nod, sitting down on the bench beside me. We laughed and talked about different things and in the few time we talked it was nice except he was offering me money every two minutes, and acting like he wanted to pay me for laughing and talking with him. I declined of course and he seemed confused every time I did that though I didn't comment as the fun I had was outweighed his weirdness. "Wanna hang out at my car?". He asked and I said 'yes as I didn't want to leave him yet. We got to his car, and talked some more. I've never had this fun in a long time, we talked about his work and my school experience you know being freshly graduated, the stories are still fresh in your head, we were both laughing and in a second, he was quiet. As I looked at him curious to why he stopped talking, he looked at me intensely and was already closer to me than he was earlier. "I really wanna kiss you right now". He said but before he finished talking, his lips were on mine and I moaned immediately as an euphoric feeling washed over me. I threw caution to the wind immediately he sucked on my neck and I held his neck slowly feeling his jaw and that made him moan, giving me confidence to do more. "Hmm, so soft" . He groaned kissing me passionately before he stopped and looked at me with hooded and crashed his lips on mine again. "Mmm, I could kiss you all day". he whispered making me hot all over and in this moment I wanted him, I was ready. He climbed on me and started taking off my clothes but I didn't hesitate as I was also taking his off. I stopped immediately he unhooked my bra, thinking of all the words Charlie said to me on that night, "You're fat and ugly, you really thought I was gonna sleep with you? ha ha ha ha, human don't sleep with pigs, do they?". But the look of pure lust n his face and the way his eyes seems to be begging me, made me relax and he smiled and continued working my body and we went all the way. I woke to find him still sleeping and holding me close to him, even if I wanted to regret doing something I'd never do on a normal day, I can't because it's the first time I ever felt wanted. I untangled myself and smiled seeing a grown intimidating man look like a baby in his sleep, Itook all my belongings and went away smiling contented that I just lost my virginity to a very handsome, considerate and passionate  'out of my league man". Even after a few minutes of leaving the car, I was still smiling like a maniac on the road but also knowing at the back of my mind that I'm gonna be roasted by my family today, and thinking of a possible explanation I'm going to give my family about where I went till now but I know it ain't gonna be pretty at all. Maybe, just maybe dreams come true after all. No one can stop me from dreaming. no one.