A Desire to Be Solved

The Father - I. A Trip To Mexico

I got home from work and saw 3 bags of luggage at the door and noticed Marie rushing around the house, not acknowledging me whatsoever. As I approach her, she stops and looks at me blankly, quickly rushing back to whatever she's doing.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked her.

"I'm leaving, and I'm taking the kids," She says, almost hyperventilating.

"Where to? Are you going to visit your parents?" I started getting anxious.

"I don't know why you're playing so stupid. I saw your call logs to Sunnyvale. Every day for 3 months, only 8 days after I left. Is that all I matter to you? 3 months?" Her voice started getting shaky, and I noticed tears building up.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. You know you and the kids matter so much to me."

"Then what the f**k is all this?!" She grabs over 10 envelopes, all with an AT&T logo, and throws them at me, 2 of them landing on my arms. I opened them up, and there it was. Her number.

I took Marie to Nogales to get her Mexican passport renewed. When we got there, they wouldn't do it and forced her to stay, so I came back with the kids on my own. After a few days, I was already getting really lonely.

I work on a farm, and every so often, we'll hire anywhere from 10-30 people to work short term and finish the job in a matter of months rather than taking all year. This was a group of 17 who came from Sunnyvale to Tracy daily; this group stayed for 3 months. After about 3 days, a beautiful girl started coming up to me and having small talk, and every day it progressed.

On the last day, we talked during lunch, and I even kept her for a short while with me after that. At night, we talked as soon as she got off and before we knew it, we were conversing in the dark.

"I don't live too far from here, and my kids are at their grandparent's house. Would you like to come over and have dinner with me?" I asked her.

"I don't mind at all. I hope you're a good chef." She said, smiling.

We got to my car, and I started driving to my house. The s****l tension was definitely there, and I think we both knew something would happen. We knew we would never see each other again anyway.

One thing led to another, and we ended up having s*x. The funny thing is I didn't even have to cook her food. Thank goodness.

"Can we please talk about this?" I asked Marie.

"I'm leaving, and I'm taking the kids!"

"Marie, wait," I said as I tried to approach her.

She looks around, grabs a plate, and throws it at me, but it misses and I keep walking.

"Don't come near me!" She screams as she throws another.

She grasps the kids and walks out the door. I looked around the house and saw nothing but broken dishes all over the floor.

Every day, I tried getting a hold of her, but she wouldn't let me see her until finally, I knocked on her door. I knocked several times and waited what felt like hours. I check the time; 30 seconds. I knock again and see the door slowly open. It's Marie's father.

"Good evening. I've been trying to talk to Marie about what's been going on. She hasn't given me a chance to talk to her about things, and I'd appreciate it if she could just come out for a few moments. I won't keep her long."

After a few moments, he nudges the door and walks up the stairs. I'm looking at the floor, thinking about what I will say to her. I really don't know if it's reasonable of me to bring up feeling lonely after such a short amount of time. That would probably only upset her more. Finally, she slowly comes out and closes the door, and points to the park across the street. To avoid any awkwardness, I brought up small talk.

"How has everything been? How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"I've been doing okay, thinking a lot about everything." She says, looking towards the park.

"I just want you to think about the kids. They're still young. We're still young. We can work this out if we really try to. Why go through the struggle of looking for someone else when we have each other? Please, think about the kids."

"What?" She stops and grabs her head in disbelief. "You started talking to another girl daily only after 8 days. Look, I've done a lot of thinking, and I'm thinking about the kids, but I have to put myself first and think of MY happiness and what I want. Especially after this, this is unforgivable."

She has a point. I did f**k up. In my defense, we didn't do anything until the day she left, and then we stopped talking. I honestly forgot all about it until the day Marie left and hoped to just let it disappear behind me. Everything was going so well.

"Marie. I am literally begging you. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. You're the mother of our kids and they deserve to have a mom and dad who are together."

"I've made my decision," She said, slowly pivoting towards her house. "I think its time that we both move on."

I suppose that was all I needed to hear. I didn't say another word and walked away, but I was heartbroken. As I drove home, I thought about everything she said.