UnWilling Luna

Chapter Five

“This is ridiculous, Blake! Just accept the rejection. You’ll get another mate. You’re going to be the Alpha!” I argued, trying not to snarl since I currently wanted to jump out of my bed and strangle him.

“I don’t want another mate. I want you,” he said bluntly and, much to my annoyance, that made my heart skip a beat. How could he act like he genuinely cared so much when it was just the mate bond?

“You’re just saying that because of the mate bond,” I said outloud what I was thinking, rolling my eyes as I sighed.

Falling back onto the bed, I looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t really feel this way about me. He just refused to reject the mate bond because he was too immature to have ever had real feelings for anyone, so he doesn’t know what it feels like to really care about someone.

“No, I’m not,” he stood up and walked to the door, putting the door back where it belonged, beside the door instead of under it,before pausing to look back at me. “I won’t tell anyone right away that we’re mates, but I want to tell people before our wedding. I don’t want people to think that I’m okay with the idea of not being with my mate.”

“Blake, just accept the reject-,” but before I can finish, he had already left, leaving me alone in the hospital room, still surrounded by his scent.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell, scream, and curse him. I wanted to curse the Moon Goddess for pairing me with someone like him. What did I ever do to deserve being with someone who doesn’t care about their Pack, or me, enough to do what’s best for it and me? If he cares so much about me, shouldn’t he want me to be happy, even if it means letting me go? I gritted my teeth, trying to keep tears from forming in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that I was stuck here. There’s no way that I was getting out of this if I had to marry that spoiled brat of a future Alpha. Why would anyone sentence me to this?

Eventually, my mother came in and checked me all over. She told me that what she thought happened was that I had a panic attack, and I tried to heal myself subconsciously , which just put in a cycle of pain and panic until I fainted. I just nodded along as she told me, trying not to have a melt down. I hadn’t even told her yet that Blake was my mate. It felt wrong to admit it out loud since I’d already rejected him.

“So just go home and get some rest, okay my love? I’ll be home soon,” she kisses my forehead, helping to soothe my anxiety.

“Okay Mama. I love you.”

*****

When I got back to my home, I breathed in the familiar and happy scent of it. While I didn’t like living with the Pack, it was nice to have a home like this. When we were rogues, our house was barely a shack, and Mom was even considering moving us to human territories it was getting so bad. The nice house where we knew we’d have heating, cooling, electricity and running water was one of the best things we could have ever asked for. Things like that are why she asked the Pack to take us in.

I sighed, biting on my lower lip. Part of me wondered why it was so hard for me to accept being a part of this Pack, but then I remembered all the ways and all the times that I was treated as just a tool. I never went to school with the other kids, instead being home-schooled by the Luna to keep me close by. I wasn’t allowed to participate in a lot of activities, even just sports, because the Alpha didn’t want me that far from the Pack House on a regular basis. The thought made me snarl, but I pushed it down.

When the Luna died, all of us mourned. I felt like I’d lost a second mother, and my main line of defense against the Alpha was gone. He not only started having me heal people for almost any injury imaginable, but he also started going to war so often against other Packs that many started avoiding us, and not inviting our Pack to gatherings. They were afraid we’d try to take their land or kill them. The thought made my stomach churn. How many Warriors had I healed after they’d killed others?

I collapsed in the entryway of my home, just sobbing. I don’t think I got to cry after the Luna died. Alpha was so sure that I could heal emotional pain that he kept me up all hours of the day and night trying to heal him, and then I’ve spent so much time healing since then that when I’m not, I just want to sleep to try to regain some sense of strength. My body hurts, but it’s not as bad as it’s been. I guess I finally did get some rest, and it must have been days for Blake to be 18 now.

There’s a clearing of someone’s throat behind me, but I don’t move. My chest is aching, and I just want to keep crying until I can’t cry anymore. I want to cry for everything that’s hurt me in the last decade. Why can’t I just be allowed to cry?

“Charlie,” a soft, feminine voice said from behind me.

I stilled, sucking in a hard breath. I knew that voice belonged to the only person I’d ever dated, a she-wolf named Jasmine.