UnWilling Luna

Chapter Six

When she touched my shoulder, trying to comfort me, chills ran down my spine. It wasn’t like when Blake touched me, with all the heat and mate-bond lust. Her touch calmed me. She calmed me. She was like an extension of myself, and she was familiar.

“Let’s go get you in the shower. You’ve been out for almost a week,” she whispered. I could only nod in return.

She helped me stand, letting me lean on her as we walked towards the bathroom. When we reached it, she sat me down on the toilet, starting the shower.

“Are you going to be able to get in by yourself?” I nodded again, sniffling slightly. “Okay. I’ll be waiting in your room then.”

When she left, I stripped down before getting in the scolding hot water. It was so hot that it burned my skin, turning it pink where it hit me. I loved it. It was so comforting. Reassuring. Another sob choked out of my throat as I thought about the last few years. I just felt so much pain. Everything hurt. I was always hurting. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just be happy.

Tears spilled down my face as I sat down in the bottom of the tub. I wrapped my arms around myself, sobbing again. I cried so hard that I started hiccuping. I was glad that my mother wasn’t home. I wanted to cry without her asking me what was wrong and worrying her. I hated making her worry.

Eventually, I managed to pull myself up and wash myself. By the time I was done, the water had turned to ice. I didn’t even know how long I’d been in there. My throat and eyes hurt from the crying. My body ached. I felt so worn out.

Wrapped in a fluffy white towel, I padded into my room. “Hi,” I croaked, seeing Jasmine laying on my bed, flipping through a comic.

“Hey babe,” she chirped, not looking up from what she was reading.

While my heart skipped a beat, I let out a sigh. “We broke up. You don’t have to keep calling me that.”

“We didn’t break up. You ghosted me,” she corrected, only now raising her eyes to look at me.

I felt more exposed in my towel when I saw her eyes darken. She wasn’t wrong. I got so busy with healing and work that I just stopped responding to her, and ignored her every time she came by because I never told my mother that I was dating her. I didn’t know how she’s react, or how the rest of the Pack would react, so I wanted to keep it hidden.

“Jasmine...,” I trailed off, tightening my grip on the towel. “It... it was still months ago. Just get over it.”

She stood up, and I involuntarily flinched when she slammed her hand on the wall beside me. She’d never hit me, but I’d been around so many people that did, or who hit others, that just the sound was enough to make me feel like prey. My chest tightened when I saw the look on her face. She looked like I just shot her.

“Charlie, you... you aren’t afraid of me, are you?” she asked, her voice cracking.

I shook my head hard, tears threatening my eyes. “No, I know you’d never hurt me, but it still scares me when you do that.”

When she saw the tears in my eyes, she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her chest. She was so tall that she was able to place her chin on the top of my head, and I felt so small. So protected. I wanted to cry again, but I pushed it down.

“You should leave. I have to get dressed,” I muttered after a few minutes, though I didn’t pull away from her.

“Just a minute longer,” she whispered back. I obliged by not moving.

After a few more minutes, she let go of me. Her shirt was wet from my hair, but she didn’t seem to mind. Leaning forward, she held my face in her hands before kissing my forehead and then pressing hers against mine. I looked up at her, getting lost in her dark eyes. Yes, I had a mate, but nothing can replace the feeling of a first love.

“I’ll always be here for you. Please don’t push me away again.”

Before I could respond, she kissed me deeply. I couldn’t help but let out a small moan before pulling back. I shook my head a bit roughly, listening to my wolf howl at me to not let anyone besides our mate touch me.

“I’m marrying Blake. You can’t just do that,” I told her, my body trembling slightly.

“So what? It’s not like he’s your mate. I doubt he’ll care,” she said, moving to kiss me again.

I stepped away, turning my face away from her as well. “Please, just stop. I don’t want this to be harder on either of us than it has to be.” She moved towards me again, but I gritted my teeth and snarled slightly. “I said stop. Can’t you take no for an answer?!” I yelled, slapping her hand away when she went to touch me.

“For f**k’s sake! I’m literally standing here in just a towel, telling you to leave me alone. Can’t you take a hint?! Leave,” I yelled again, tightening my grip on my towel.

“You don’t mean it,” her voice cracked as she looked down at me, pain obvious in her eyes.

“I do mean it,” I looked away. I couldn’t look at her as I broke her heart. “Just please, leave me alone. I don’t want to do this.”

After a few heartbeats, she left, shutting my bedroom door behind her. When it closes, I sink to the ground. I did my best not to cry again, I’d already cried so much today, but a few tears did leak out of the corners of my eyes. I sucked in a hard breath, trying to calm myself down. Why did she have to do this to me? I hadn’t talked to her for months for a reason.

I drew my knees up and placed my forehead on them. I just wanted to be alone. Why couldn’t I just be alone?