Going back for love

11

I look in the big mirror, decorated with shiny gold rims and crystal marbles. This is stuff I thought would be in heaven but hear I am on earth, seeing this. I swallow, seeing my weary face. It seems as if I’ve fast forwarded in age, this few days. My hair is a mess around my head. Filthy. I lookat the white bath behind me, feeling much to dirty to even look at it, but I climbe into the lukewarm water. It feels soothing as dirt cracks off my skin. It’s as if it made a nest, inside my pores. I take a deep breath and let my body rest on the surface, soaking my hair. I’m in an siren’s house. I met two new people. It feels as if I’m in a whole new world.

So if Tobias mom is a siren, then what is he? I wish he wasn’t secretive. I wish he could just answer more of my questions. I wish I could receive more answers.

I lick my dry lips and lather my hair with flowery shampoo. At home, I would usually wash my hair with a bar of soap that mom would make with strong smelling herbs which didn’t particulary smell that nice. My hair already feels so much lighter, whenI come back up,after I’ve rinsed it out. I scrub my whole body twice,making the water dim with dirt. When I’m done,I dry myself with soft brown towel,Tobias gave me whilts our hands touched,that made our eyes meet for a few seconds. I could tell that he was happier and he didn’t wear heavy burdens anymore. Heavy burdens probably about me. I roll my eyes and look at myself in the mirror again. Now clean,again with a fair skin. My wet hair makes it look darker than usual and the dark circles under my eyes is a shade lighter and I feel more relaxed. I smile lightly, trying to enchanse my mood. I look at the dress hanging from a rack, coming out of the wall. The dress is purple with yellow flowery decorations.It flows beatifully beneath, with thin white stripes. I put it on and it fits perfectl. Almost as if it was made just for me. Like wow. It’s stunning. I escape the bathroom,almost bumping into Tobias mom with a loud bang.

“Oh, Rose.” She gasps with a toothy grin.

“Hey.” I say, not sure what to call her.

“Please call me Tove.” She says, answering my question.

“Thanks for the dress, Tove.” I say, trying to sound sincere.

“It fits you so perfect.” She says, eyeing my body up and down.

“Thanks.” I say, with a toothy grin. I wonder where’s Tobias.

“You should make yourself feel at home.” She says, with a stern look on her face.

“I will, thank you.” I say, trying to seek Tobias with a few glances left and right.

“Tobias is outside.” She answers my inside question, with a knowing smile. I wonder if she thinks more of us. If she’s reading in between the lines.

I nod with a faint smile. I should probably get a conversation going with her. Maybe I can get things out of her, without Tobias knowing.

“So, if you’re a siren, then what is Tobias” I ask, hoping not to sound too blunt.

Tove sucks in a breath a small smile slowly playing on her elegent face. She makes a ‘come’ movement with her hands and pats on the dark blue couch next to her.

I eagerly go and sit next to her, a shy smile playing on my lips.

She calmly takes a deep breath,look up for a few seconds before she settles her gaze on me.

“Tobias is spectacular.” She says licking her lips. That’snot what I want to hear. Every mother boasting about their children. I want something real.The truth.

“He is everything.” She continues and I try to contaim myself from rolling my eyes.

“He can be anything he want actually.”

“What do you mean.” I ask, not entertained by her words at all.

“Unlike most people in the society lives, split up in groups, because of the species or whatever we were born in, we are all actually the same.” She deeply inhales through her nose.

This makes me frown and I look at her,waiting for her to continue.

She swipes a few strands ofher hair out ofher face before she starts talking again.

“You can train yourslef to become anything you want, it’s not just what you are.”

“So I can be a siren aswell” I ask, clearly not understanding her as well as I would like.

But she nods making me more confused.

“You can be anything.”

“How” I ask, shaking my head. Is she speaking in figuritive speech right now?

“Through excersisis and training. It’s all in the mind.”

“But how can, a witch, learn to have the same powers as , let’s say a siren?” I point at her and I feel that she won’t be able to answer this question like we both would like to.

“It’s all in learning.”

I raise my eyebrows at her, absolutely not believing her.

“Ok, let’s try something.” She stands, and waltz beforeme,in elegant small steps.

“Ok?” I say questiongly.

“Use some of your powers. Something simple and small.” She says,with a serious look on her face, completing the phrase that she is in fact serious.

My mind rambles but nothing comes up in what to do. I look around,trying to come up with somethimg.

“Sorry.” I mumble for taking so long.

She shakes her head,”Take your time.”

My eyes catch the small pink flower waving at me outside the open window. I smile. I got it. I know what to do. I turn the flower into a lilac color, bigger in size and with many more leaves. I always joked with my mom when she was on her way to get leaves and flowers for medicine, then she was confused at a new flower growing.

“Ok.”I say,waiting for her to spot the difference.

She widen her eyes, looking forwhat I have done.

“Uhm.” She says with a frown and for a swift moment she reminds me of my mom. I shake my head, trying to get the picture out of my head.

“I-” I start to tell what I’ve done when she interrupts me by putting her finger to her mouth, telling me to shush.

“I’ll figure it out.” She says, inhaling deeply though her nose and closing her eyes. She slowly raises her slender fingers to the sky, making me frown. What is she doing? She seems like a crazy person,but with a soft and elegant movements it’s basically impossible. She inhales deeply again, before she opens her eyes and looks at me, with knitted eyebrows.

She swallows.

“I can’t seem to sense what you have done.” She bites her lips and I notive her pearly white teeth. She violenly rubs her handsover her face, clearly stating that she’s frustrated.

“I could just tell you.” I say, unsure of what to do.

“No.” She insists, making a stop sign with her hand.

She lightly shakes her head, as if she’s shaking away her confusion and looks deeply in my hair, making me feel quite uncomfortable.

“May I comb through your hair.” She asks, changing the topic completely.

I frownand scratch the back of my neck.

“Yeah, sure.” I say, quickly so that she don’t see me look at her as if she’s crazy.

She smiles and gives a small nod as if she knew I was going to say yes and takes hold of a fancy brush laying on the glass table. The brush is wooden circled with gold and silver. IT’sso beautiful. I bite my lipsas she starts to gently brush through my hair.

“Your hair is so beautiful.” She compliments,

“Thank you.” I say and she suddenly combs harder through my hair, making my head hurt. I stay silent not feeling safe with this woman. She’s a strange human being andI can’t place what type of person she is.

“I wish I had hair like yours.” She says.

“You’re hair is beautiful aswell.” I say, sniffing.

She starts to laugh,”Oh no dear.”

I stay quiet not knowing what to say.

“What are you guys doing?” Tobias enters andI feel thankful. He saved the awkward moment.

I turn my head to lookat him and I notice his eyes linger long on my body, probaly noticing how clean I am, and wearing his mom’s dress.

“Oh, I just thought of brushing her hair.” She replies and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“Oh.” Tobias looking down at his feet.

He startsto fumble with his hand as if he doesn’t know what to do. He gives me a light smile before his face turns into horror when the brush drops from his mom’s hands.

I quickly turntosee tears streaming down her face. Her face expressions seems heartbroken andangry at the same time. I seek for her aura just like Tobias taught me, to see a faint, yellow green color, displaying jealousy and hunger. I frown feeling uncertain.

“I can’t.” She says, softly, looking down, with a shaking voice.

“Mom.” Tobias says and he looks at her as if he knows what’s going on with her. I take a step away from her to give her space, when she starts to scream.

“I can’t anymore!”

Can’t what? What is she talking about? Is it something with my hair?

“Mom, you’ve come this far.” Tobias pleads.

She puts her head in her hands, fat tears reaching her cheek.

“Mom just calm down. Think about everything you’ve been through to be like this. To be better.” Tobias urges making his mom nod as if she come to her senses.

“I’m sorry.” Tobias says softly, as if he’s the culprit in making her cry.

Was it him? Or was it me?

“I just want to be alone.” She says, with a big sigh, as if everything that happened was tiring her.

Not knowing what to do,Tobias grabs my arm and drags me till we’re outside.

“Sorry about that.” He apologizes.

I stay quiet as he walks me to a wooden bench underneath a big willow tree. I savour the birds chirping joyfully. I smile,wishing that I could be so happy as they come to be.

Tobias sigh, bringing me back to reality.

“What happened?” I ask, unsure if I must even ask, but I already did.

“It’s a long story.” I roll my eyes at his words. Always walking around the truth. Never telling the story.

“My mom is a siren.” He continues, probably noticing my frustration.

“Yeah.” I say widening my eyes. I already know that.

“So?” He says it as if it’s obvious.

“I don’t know anything about sirens.” I say and raise my arms in the air.

He looks at me with big eyes, as if he suddenly remebers that I wasn’t raised like most people. I was raised in hiding. Away from everyone and everything.

“Sirens are very beautiful creatures.” He says, plucking a grass weed and throwing it backtothe ground,asif her really doesn’t want to talk about what he’s about to talk about.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” I say. He’s mom is flawless.

“You don’t understand. They’re like undescibale beings.”

“Yeah.” I say, still not knowing where he’s getting at.

“They have to eat men to survive.”

I almost choke. “What?”

“That’s how they are raised. Brainwashed actually.”

“They eat men?” I ask, thinking about his mom eating a man. Gross. He must be lying.

“Yeah. It makes themmore youthful and pretty.”

“You’re mom eats men?”

“No she stopped.”

I frown. So she did eat them.

“They don’t need them.It’s just the way you see things and change.”

“Oh.”

“LIke me. I wasn’r born with any powers. I taught myself.”