What Abyss Feels Like

What seems to be the problem? What seems to be the matter? What... why?? Why? Why? WHY??! Why can't I feel anything? I am just stuck here. Watching silently. Not moving even a finger. I can't even strip my sight to the scene in front of me. In our room... on our bed... with my new clothes that I prepared for our anniversary... just... Why?! Am I not enough? Am I not beautiful enough? Am I not good enough? I did my best, y'know? I gave my all. I have nothing anymore because of this so-called love I am still feeling right now for this bastard in front of me! So... why? My friend said that I am so naïve and foolish for believing that men will always be there, loving us, and being loyal to us. She said that a man is like a dog, once they see fresh meat, they will leave the old one and pounce to the new one with drool flowing from their mouths like waterfalls. I shrugged it off before but now that I can see it personally, I feel sick. This is sickening! They disgust me! But what's sickening of all is that I can't feel anything at all! Is it because I expected this to happen? Is it because I know deep inside my head that I believe with my friend? Is it because I know that this is something so common in our society even though it's against morals? Or is it because... the one who is this man cheating me with is... my so-called friend? "Ugh!" Why?! "Oh my gosh! You are way too... tight and... better than that bitch... oohh!! I'm near, baby!!" "Receive my seed... give me my babies... oohh!! If I have known, I'd rather chose you than that woman!!" I watch them. I watch them silently while hearing those comments, their disgusting sounds of pleasure and filthiness. I hear their insults but it seems that it's not affecting me. Baby? Ha! If you want hers then I'll keep this one for myself! We don't need you! I turned around and made my way to my room. Yes! We both have our own rooms aside from the one they are using. It's a thing for pleasure or whatnot. And this room is for my privacy only. I am glad that I agreed with that before. I pulled out my suitcase that is enough for my important belongings to be kept. I also pulled out the hidden divorce paper that I kept in case something like this happened. Well, I didn't know that I'd sign this. I didn't imagine and expect it at all! I signed the paper, folded it neatly and then slid it inside the scented paper envelope. I sighed and then smiled a little with it in my hand. Strangely, I feel that I can breathe again. The time is like a blur. I am already here inside his office. I placed the envelope on his table and with one last look, I left the office. The maids and butler are lined up near the entrance. It seems that they saw me. And they are there, with sad faces while looking at me. "You don't deserve this treatment, madam! This is unforgivable!" The old butler said with tears from his eyes. A chorus of "yes" and "that's right" resounded in the hall. It was followed by footsteps from the grand staircase of the house. And without turning, even without that, I know who is the owner of those cursed steps. "What's happening here? And, what are you doing?" He asked with confusion in his voice. With my back facing him, I answered. I closed my eyes as well while reminiscing our first meeting, first date, and our firsts together like a blur until it was covered with darkness. I smiled at that. "I'm leaving. So please, take care of them." With another step, I can feel his confusion and anxiety. With another step, I can feel his sadness and panic. With another step, I can feel anger and fury. And with another step, I was turned. After that step, my breath hitched. My mouth gaped open. My eyes started to blur because of tears. I can feel it. I can feel the cold metal piercing my stomach killing me and my unborn child. My mouth was filled with blood. I coughed with it as I looked at his shocked face. It seems that he regained his consciousness from the sudden turn of events. He killed me. He killed his wife. He killed my unborn child. He killed his innocent child. For what? I looked past his shoulder and I saw my 'friend' who was both shocked yet happy. I see. I lifted my bloodied hands and touched his face one last time. His pale handsome face which was covered with eternal bliss earlier was smudged with scarlet. I chuckled because of that. He looked at me, confused. My breathing is shallow. I can feel warmth slowly yet deadly leaving my body. I feel my body become heavier. I feel my sight turning into a dangerous blur. I can feel my head becoming light until... "You are surely... cruel. I loved you... but you... betrayed me. I... heard you want... a baby. But... you just... killed me with... him... Why are you so... heartless? Remember... I won't forgive you... And one day... you will feel... What the Abyss is like... Because I'll... be back... Mark... my... words." ... I feel nothing. Ah! I'm dead, no? But before that, as I close my eyes. I saw him cry. I saw him watch me die with regret. I saw him watch his bloody hands with me and our child's blood smeared on it. I watched him and his mistress. He who started to panic, regret and mourn for killing the two of us, and she who's eyes tell otherwise. Ah! It's cold. It's dark... I think I'm now in the Abyss.