What Abyss Feels Like

CHAPTER 5: REVELATION OF THE PAST

With a cup of tea in front with various deserts presented in front of Ara, she traced the edges of her teacup with her delicate fingers while breathing in the tea's calming scent.

Ara is currently twelve yet instead of asking for something sweet for her drink, she chose the bland drink. It really puzzles Thea and the people in the duchy. And here she is, acting like an adult already with both elegance and sophistication in every twitch and her movements. She is now acting as a woman already and it worries Thea.

"Honey. Don't you want your usual drink? Your cocoa?"

Silence.

Thea is nervous right now. She doesn't know if who she is seeing now is her daughter because the same familiar aura she radiates is also this unfamiliarity that lingers from within. It really freaks her out!

"Uhm... Baby?"

"Mother." Ara finally spoke. Without looking up to her mother, she kept on tracing her fingertips on the teacup while wearing a solemn look on her face. This made Thea grow more nervous.

"Who am I?" She asked, which made Thea's breath hitch.

Surprise, shock are only understatement to describe what she is feeling right now after hearing her daughter's question. She is flabbergasted. She didn't expect Ara to ask such a question. But... the real question is: how did she know?

"W-what do you mean by that, baby? Of course! You are Astrid Arabella Luce! My daughter! What are you talking about?" One thing is for sure for all the years Ara knows her mother. And that is, she is a terrible liar.

She can hide her lies in front of the people outside the family, but not to Ara. She is not a liar to begin with. She is an honest person with a good heart. It's just that, sometimes, she cannot help but lie. And despite detecting it, she did not utter a word about it to save her mother's reputation of being scolded and reprimanded by her daughter for lying.

But now...

"Mother." Her voice is now stern. It caught Thea off guard. She did not expect that she would ever experience hearing her daughter use such a tone. And that, she knows how serious she is in her question.

"H-ho—"

"I apologize for cutting you off, mother. But if you are wondering, how do I know... I will tell you. And every word that will come out from my mouth is nothing but the truth." Now, Ara is looking at her mother with her tea still in her hand.

Thea perked up. She doesn't know what to feel. Is her daughter hiding something from her? Or something happened while she was in a coma?

She wants to know it badly. And because she knows that Ara isn't someone to lie to, she nodded her head and readied herself with the things she will learn from her.

But what she did not expect is the weight of every word she is about to hear.

"Mother. Do you believe in 'second chances'?" Thea nodded her head, thinking that it may be the term where someone will be lenient enough to give someone a second chance like what her late friend does whenever he found something plausible in the accused's side.

"Then I will tell you that I am now living through the so-called 'second chances'," she paused to breathe deeply before continuing.

"This is my second chance in this life to correct my mistakes and also to avoid those who need to be avoided and also to get revenge towards them. This is also my second chance to make better choices and have a happier life," she paused again while letting Thea process her words as she is sure how heavy it is.

'Don't tell me she—'

"Yes, mother... I died. But I was murdered at the age of 25." Thea's heart broke after learning such a thing to be experienced by her precious daughter.

But, she wondered how, why and who murdered her?!

She is seething in anger. Yes! It's a bit unbelievable what her daughter's story is. But in their world filled with impossible things being possibilities, such things like 'second chances' may be rare but still exist. And she swears in her soul that she will make her daughter's murderer and accomplices suffer.

"Because of some special circumstances, I cannot tell you who granted me such a precious thing. But I know that you have a clue already. I only want to hear your side, mother. Because I don't plan on knowing about the truth way too late like what happened after we died."

"What do you mean by 'we'?" Thea asked curiously. But deep inside, she felt ominous but chose to shake it off.

Oh! How wrong it is for her to do that. Because the truth hurts and will hurt when you put your guard down.

"I... was pregnant that time." Ara confessed that made Thea widen her eyes in shock.

Ara sighed. She knows how heavy her words are to take it all in. But she needs to do this.

"I can give you the name. But you cannot do anything to them just... yet. Because at this moment, they are just starting to move." She added because she knows that her mother will press this after knowing a lot.

They continued their conversation. They both shared different emotions and opinions about the events that happened and then they decided to somehow use that knowledge to use in the future.

Thea also confessed the true identity of Ara that somehow shocked the latter. But the reason for her being with Thea is somehow off. As if it's incomplete. Or maybe, someone manipulated it? Who knows?

"Who would have thought that you experienced things such as that, my dearest? I-I feel responsible for your sufferings." Thea cried emotionally.

Ara, seeing her foster mother like this breaks her heart. She scooted to her mother's side and then hugged her for comfort. Thea who felt her daughter's warmth against her skin made her lean into it and then cry her heart out with her self-blaming. The younger woman wants for her mother to stop, but she wants for her to let the bottled emotions out because she knows that aside from the guilt and regret she feels after learning about her past life, there is more to it that she doesn't want to pry for the sake of her mother's private life.

"It's alright now, mother. It's their fault for being too greedy. Human nature really is something to blame, because good things will never stay as it is. It is bound to change when you see something you want to have despite the difficulty to achieve it. Be at ease, mother. We are in this together now to make sure that history will not repeat itself." Ara said as a way to comfort her mother.

Thea who heard the words of wisdom from her 12-year old child made her heart sink. Who would have thought that such words would be uttered by this small child? To the fact that if her previous life's age and the current one, she is almost the same age as hers now. And to think she is way mature added to the fuel of the guilt she has. She thought that Ara did not deserve such hardships. She doesn't deserve all of it.

Ara or also known as Astrid Arabella Luce is someone who is pure, innocent and way too good for this world. She is the pure flower in the midst of the garden of Eden that is filled with different states and colors. She is someone that every boy and man sought to wed in the near future. And if they learned about her true identity, she bet her all that she will be damned in an instant with the marriage proposals that will flood their mailbox. She cannot help but sigh while getting her mentality ready for the future.

"I promise that I will stay with you until you need me no more." Oh! How wrong her words are.

"You are wrong, mother." Ara refuted her mother's statement. She removed herself from their tight hug session and then with her arms length, she faced her mother with the intense glint of determination in her eyes. "We will stay together, forever. Because I will forever need you to be prepared, because we will stick together like glue!" Ara declared with a smile that Thea wished for her sunglasses to be worn at this moment. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have it and helplessly ‘suffers’ from the adorable sight of her daughter’s smile.

Thea cannot help but sigh and breath in so much relief. She lightly ruffles her daughter's head lovingly with pure love and happiness written on her beautiful slightly aged face.

She really loves Ara. And she knows that sooner or later, she will not be the only one to feel this towards her precious one. Because she is bound to be loved by everyone.

Oh! How correct she is.