Don’t Poke The Bear

Chapter 20 Mamba/Carmen

POV Mamba/Carmen

We got out of bed and got cleaned up and we decided to head out for breakfast. We went to a near by diner and ate like we had both ran a marathon. “You better stock up on those carbs baby” he said with a filthy smile. He was so incredibly handsome that every woman in the whole diner was staring at him but he was only staring at me and every day with him made my stomach flip.

It was a beautiful day so we grabbed a coffee and went for a walk around Central Park. We had our arms around each other as we chatted and kissed and it was so romantic. I was studying his beautiful face as he told me a hilarious story and it hit me that I was in deep with him. I had nearly told him that I loved him a few times but had managed to hold myself back. We walked past the play park and he stopped walking and took my hand. He nodded towards the kids playing “they’re cute aren’t they?” He asked and I just smiled. Kids weren’t really my thing and I wondered where he was going with all of this. “You’re great with your nieces and nephews” he said and I just kept on smiling. The truth was that I had so many kids in my family that I could hardly remember half them existed and I really didn’t care much to even learn their names. But my sister Frankie was like a mum to everybody and Jack still thought that I was Frankie so I had to pretend to agree with what he was saying. Although I did like some of the kids in my family because I must admit a few of them were fun, I liked Monkeys twin daughters, they were around 14 years old and I would sneak them cigarettes and bottles of wine at family parties. I liked Antonio’s youngest son Marco he was desperate to join the army and he constantly asked me to ‘take him to a war’ He also had a great sense of humour and style and I used to let him try on my heels as well as my army uniforms. But other than that they all just seemed like the same person to me. “You’re amazing the way you look after Teddy” he said and I just kept on smiling. “I think you’ll make a great mum one day” he said and I smiled and looked away because I couldn’t even look at him. This conversation was not what I wanted. I was dedicated to my career and I liked the excitement and being a mum to a screaming brat turned my stomach. The idea of being a housewife at a husband’s beck and call like my poor mother had been to an abusive husband made me feel physically sick. “How many kids do you think we should have?” He asked and I knew this was his way of asking if we had a future together. I had took annual leave from work to spend time with him in New York but it was coming to an end soon and I knew that we couldn’t sustain a relationship. He was everything any girl could hope for, but I was married to my job and it took me all over the world. This lovely gorgeous, caring man deserved happiness and he wouldn’t find it with me. “I’m not sure if I even want kids” I said and the look of shock on his face made me want to hold him. “You’re a natural mum, you’ll be amazing” he said and it felt like he was pleading with me. My heart went out to him but I couldn’t change who I was and I knew that this wonderful time had ran its course. But I didn’t want to break both of our hearts right there by the swing set, so I took his hand and said “fancy a blow job over there by the bushes” his face lit up and we made our away from the crowds of people. Jack was my absolute dream man, but I knew I would need to let him down.. eventually.