Over the Mountain

CHAPTER 26: GRANDPA

CHAPTER 26: GRANDPA

I don’t know how I was able to sleep last night with my mind being clouded of the thoughts from the past. I keep on pushing those memories away, but they are still staying inside my mind. In the end, I just couldn’t do anything but wish for my memories to be erased. But it would be impossible. Unless I will hit my head on the wall.

Kakapasok lamang namin ni Levi sa gate ng eskwelahan ng makarinig na agad ako ng bulungan habang bulgaran pa silang nakatingin sa aming gawi. Hindi ko na kailangang magtanong kung sino sa amin ni Levi ang pinag-bubulungan nila dahil sigurado namang ako na iyon. Syempre, hindi nila palalagpasing pag-usapan ang nangyari kagabi lalo na at karamihan sa customer ng club na pinu-puntahan namin ay estudyante sa university na pina-pasukan namin. But who cares? Kahit buong taon nila akong pag-usapan ay wala akong pakealam. Natuto na akong huwag patulan ang mga katulad nila at huwag pakinggan ang mga kuro-kuro nila lalo na at wala naman iyong maidudulot sa akin na maganda.

“Aren’t they tired of talking about you?” Levi asks as she licks her lollipop. “Rumors about you are everywhere. You could already pass a showbiz person because you are always trending,”

“You have a lot of rumors too. It’s just that, they choose to talk about mine because I don’t react like you do,” I answered. “Sino namang chismosa ang pipiliing pag-usapan ang rumors mo kung sa huli ay masusupalpal lamang sila ng palad mo?”

Levi scoffed and chuckled. “That’s true. Ewan ko nga sa’yo at bakit hindi mo sila binibigyan ng leksyon para manahimik na sila.”

“Hayaan mo silang pag-usapana ako. At least ay may oras sila para sa akin,” sabay ngisi ko.

“But Sielan, wala ka ba talagang natitipuhan dito? I mean, since high school ay wala kang naging boyfriend. Huwag mong sabihin sa aking gra-graduate ka sa college ng wala ding boyfriend?”

“Wala pa akong natitipuhan, Levi,” sagot ko bago huminto sa paglalakad. “Sige na at pumasok ka na,”

“Alright. See you later.” Tsaka na siya tumalikod.

Levi is still in her last senior high school while I am already at my freshmen year in college. We still study in the same university but high school building is located on the west while the college buildings are in the east. I was already used in walking alone towards our building and I am already used to people staring at me then whispers right away. Hindi ko katulad si Levi na kapag nakaka-rinig ng usap-usapan tungkol sa kaniya ay mabilis niyang bibigyang leksyon ang mga iyon. Ako ay palagi na lamang pinipili ang huwag silang pansinin at huwag ng patulan pa. Because even how hard I defend myself, it won’t change the way they look at me.

Ang totoo ay hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko. Back when I was a kid, I used to fight a lot. Hindi ako nagpapatalo sa mga classmate kong nag-aayaw sa akin. They fear me back in my grades school. Pero simula noong lumipat kami at nagbago ako ng eskwelahan, natutuhan ko kung paanong maging payapa kahit pa maraming gulo sa paligid ko. That place taught me to stay peaceful even how chaotic the world is. Kaya nga kahit kailan ay hindi ko pinatulan ng sobra si Irene. I am entitled a brat girl, but that place changed me. Because that one specific person taught me to be patient with everything. He was just teaching me to be patient in climbing the mountain, but I unconsciously apply it to all aspect of life.

“I really admire how you can ignore them easily,” a familiar voice said.

I glance at my side saw someone walking beside me. “I will just waste my time if I will let them get into my nerves,”

Mike chuckled. “You are really something. Ang dami nang mga rumors na dumadgsa sa mercado pero nananatili kang una,” he jokes around.

I smirked. Mike has been the guy in my class who is patiently courting me, his words not mine. He doesn’t mark me as his property and just lets me do what I want to do. He rarely goes to the club because he prefers to play online games at home than to hear loud crowds and music. Even there are a lot of rumors about me, he is still reminding me that he is still courting me. And that he doesn’t believe those rumors about me. He is kind and nice but…I immediately discarded my thoughts and just look around.

“Are you going to eat your lunch with Levi?” he asks, malapit na kami sa aming silid.

“Yes,” simpleng sagot ko.

“Oh, aayain sana kita,” pasaring niya.

“You know that I don’t dine alone with a guy during my meal-time,” I casually said.

“I know. But you said it way back in our secondary. I just tried, hoping that your mind finally changed,”

“My mind won’t change. Maliban na lamang kung ma-amnesia ako, baka pumayag na ako,”

“Bakit ba ayaw mong mag-dine alone with a guy? Kahit sa akin man lang?”

I stop right when we are on the doorstep of our room. “You don’t have to know my reason. It’s personal. Very personal,”

Simula nang dumating ako sa university na ito, ang tanging alam lamang nila tungkol sa akin ay kung saan ako nanggaling na lugar at ang pangalan ng parents ko. But no one knows what is my experienced in that place. Gusto ko sanang magkwento pero ayoko rin. I felt like a possessive person about something, or someone, I guess. Dahil sigurado ako na kapag nagkwento ako ng buhay ko sa probinsya ay hindi siya mawawala. At baka pa kapag nalaman nila ang pangalan niya ay hanapin nila siya sa social media. Which I almost do. Mabuti na lamang at napigilan ko ang sarili ko. That even my friend, hindi ko na rin sinubukang hanapin. It’s better this way. Para mukhang walang nangyari sa pananatili ko roon bagaman ang totoo ay napaka-rami ng nangyari.

When our professor enters the room, he immediately raps in front. He always talks so fast that most of the time, we understood nothing but “alright” from him. Most of the time, we complain to him because he talks so fast. And then he will slow down, but when he's mad, his rap will be fast-forwarded times two.

“Alright, we will be discussing the third chapter of the Ecology topic for this week. Prepare your ears, pen, and notes!” he screamed which made us all wince.

It’s already the second semester and up until now, I still don’t know why I enrolled in this course though I already have an idea on why. I just couldn’t accept it though. My first semester in BS Forestry was a total hardcore, but this second semester is much harder! My general education is a pain in my ass already but my major just slap me so real. I have my 2-Zoology, 3-General Chemistry, 2-Plane Geometry, Forest ecology, and many more other subjects! All along, ang akala ko sa kurso na ito ay about puno-puno at bundok lang. Pero hindi pala. Idagdag pa ang professor ko tinalo ang pinaka-mabilis na magrap sa Pilipinas.

Mister Baguese face the board and started to write the main topic then he raps next right away. Bagaman totoong mahirap at nakaka-sira ng ulo ang kursong ito ay nagagawa ko naman itong itawid kahit papano. Maybe because deep inside, I like what I am learning. Because I fall in love in a mountain. And until now, the beauty of the mountain is still in my heart.

But even though it’s still here, my decision to never go back there still remains.

“Mommy, kamusta? Eksakto ang pagtawag mo, breaktime ko na,” nakangiting saad ko ngunit humikbi si Mommy. “Mom? Why are you crying?”

“Y-Your grandpa is gone…”