Lies Written by the Stars

Jean

Chapter 15: Jean

ELLE’S POV

I’ve been awake from some time now, staring at my ceiling. I wonder if I was even asleep at all, because for the first time since that night at the party and by the roof top, I didn’t have any nightmares at all.

Of course it has nothing to do with a certain someone who sent me an apology text message and a smiley face.

I scoffed at that thought.

It was just a smiley face, not a friggin’ dream catcher, stop this thought Elle. I placed my arm in my eyes, wondering what the hell I am going to say in class later. I still haven’t prepared anything, mainly because I don’t know what I should say about him. Plus, I can’t handle the thought of being the center of attention again, with him.

I’ve been wondering lately why our paths have been crossing a lot after that party. He admitted that he was there, but I still couldn’t say if it was him at the rooftop. He’s too vague. And the only similarity that he has from that man is their smile.

I removed my hand from my face and stared at my ceiling, a star by its center.

Stars have been really important to me since then; it’s not just because of their astronomy but mainly because I have them around me. For those who really know me, they know that I see the people that are dear to me as stars. Whenever it’s too dark in my life and I’m feeling alone, I would look up at the sky and look at the stars. Then I will remember that I will always have someone looking after me. No matter where I am.

And after all I’ve been through? They are the ones that have kept me going.

Still looking at the star in my ceiling, I have this feeling that I have forgotten a really vital part of that night that has to do with stars. Why do I only remember the broken glass, the insults and the smile of that man? And what about that image that flashed in my mind when Chris was here? He was stopping me. Stopping me from what?

My little staring contest with my ceiling was cut off by the sound of my alarm.

Hitting the alarm off, and getting up from my bed, I realized that I’m pressuring my mind again. I looked at the white board in my wall, and stared at the note that my mom gave me.

So take your time,

time will heal us all.

Take your time.

My mom’s right, I shouldn’t pressure myself. Answers will come soon; I just have to take it one step after another. And speaking of time, I wouldn’t want to be late for my Pysch class so I should probably get ready.

Now, looking at myself by the mirror, I think I look presentable enough. So I went downstairs to eat the breakfast that I know that my mom has prepared for me. Hearing the utensils, and smelling the eggs and ham, I went straight to the dining room.

“Are you sure you are ready to attend school again?” Mom worriedly asked when she saw I’ve started eating already.

“Yes mom, I would be sick again if I stayed here for another day, drowning in my thoughts.” I joked.

I was supposed to take another bite from the food she prepared when I saw her reaction on what I said.

“I’m kidding mom, I promise I’m really okay. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be having a pile of school works if I absent a little more.” I continued eating.

Mom didn’t look convince at what I said, but she let it go and went to eat breakfast with me as well. We talked about the silly things that we’ve been doing together, and it was fun remembering everything. And not talking about having a breakdown.

Finishing my breakfast, I kissed my mom’s cheek and quickly bid goodbye to go straight to school. And throughout my travel to school, I can only think of one person; Chris.

I allowed my thoughts to drift to him because after all, I have to introduce him to class later. I wonder who would be going first this time.

After a short ride to school, I went straight to the classroom, readying myself for the assignment later. I didn’t see Liz or Raph when I was on my way to the room, so I assume that they are on class already.

But before I can enter the room, I saw a figure by the door, leaning at the corridor’s wall. Jean.

I don’t know if he’s waiting for anyone but I just went past him and went straight to the door.

Although, I wasn’t able get past easily. I looked at Jean’s hand that’s reaching for me.

“Elle.”

 “What?” I asked, stopping.

“Can we talk?” He held my elbow and pulled me away from the door.

I bet he wouldn’t want to be seen talking to me.

So I shook his arm away and answered firmly. “No. And, don’t. ever. touch. me. again.”

I turned around and started to walk towards the door, but I heard Jean say, “He’s not good for you.”

Who? Chris? I looked at him, and I can see the regret from his eyes. He looked like he hasn’t slept at all, from the dark under circles that is evident from his face. Regretting what?

I rolled my eyes and turned all my attention to him.

I walked towards him and said, “And what? You think you’re good for me?” I look at him from his toe to his face.

Disgusting. How does he have the courage to face me after watching me get bullied by his friends?

“Stop dreaming Jean, nobody’s good for me.” I said, feeling the truth in that.

Not just because they are just going to hurt me, but because I know full well that in my current state, anyone who tries to be with me will never be happy. I stepped away from him.

“I’m sorry Elle. Please talk to me, let me explain, I’ll wait for you after class.” He pleaded.

I walked away from Jean. Not ready to have this conversation with him.

I will only destroy anyone who tries to help me. Not unless, if they want to be dragged down to the darkness that’s resting inside me, with me.

“I know something happened to you by the rooftop.”

I stopped and looked at him, surprised at the sudden change in his voice and his aura. And from his then pleading face, now- he’s smirking.

Jean started walking to the door as well, and before he entered the door, he went near my ear and whispered,

“Meet me after class.”