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The Sorrow

As anxious as I was, I still deeply regret not exchanging information with him. I only know his first name, not like I can try to find him. I sulk a few more moments in bed then Emma turns around telling me good morning. I smile & tell her good morning back then badger her about her evening with Colin. She was so gitty to share with me I was happy she had a great night with him. Then she tells me he had asked her to be his girlfriend. "And you're just now telling?" I sit up onto my arm scowling at her. "Well." she begins softly & fully sits up leaning into my headboard. "You looked really sad when we met at the gate, that's why I asked if you wanted to grab some ice cream before coming home." "I did?" I asked her surprised. "Yeah. It kinda broke my heart. I never see you sad." I melted my heart hearing her say that. I embrace her tightly. "You may be tough & confident as rocks but you have the biggest heart of all." I absolutely love her. It's always been Emma to put others first, she is the most selfless being.

A few weeks past but I still think of him. You can become so close to a person just by words. I try my hardest to let it pass by, but it's always there, lingering. I've decided to pick up a summer job of babysitting to get my mind off it & save some money. You wouldn't ever guess it but I love kids. Haven't given much thought of my own though, until then I'll enjoy other's kiddos. 

I was quite excited for my summer gig. I managed to save over $800 & I actually enjoyed my summer & was sad it was ending but junior year was approaching but that something to look forward too. I'm sad that Emma is year behind but it's okay. Dad keeps reminding me that I should be proud of myself for being so smart but not judgemental of others for their speed of learning. I'm not, I just feel so lucky to have such amazing parents...

It's right after New Year's & we're all heading back from break. I see Emma & Colin & meet up with them before 1st bell. "Hey." Emma smiles, Colin says hey back. "You guys okay?" Colin looks at Emma, she shakes her. I c**k my head to the side & raise an eyebrow at Colin. I never pictured ever becoming close friends with Colin but its a good one. Like I said I don't judge, I just like what I like. "We actually wanted to ask you that question."  "Why?" I ask, defensively.  "Aria, you've been different all year." Emma chimes in. "What are you talking about?" I ask her with a slight chuckle. As she about to respond the bell rings. "We'll meet you at lunch." She tells me & they head to class.     What?.....

"And that's a bad thing?" I ask them. "Yes. Yes, it is." Emma put it blatantly. "Geez, Babe." "What?" She looks at him. "It's true. Come' on, Aria. Talk to us, please." "I don't know what you want me to say. I haven't been different & I don't see a problem." I lean back & drink my milk hoping to end the conversation but I know that won't happen. " Aria." Colin now shares. You, yeah you're right you're not different but its....excessive." I laugh at his comment. "Aria!" Emma scolds me. "What?" I laugh again. "All I'm saying how is it not me to be 'whorish'? I gesture quotations to be dramatic. "She has a point!" Jerrod shouts from a table over. I give him a cute wave & Emma gives him a finger. She turns back to me asking "What happened in The Maze?" My smile immediately withers, Emma crosses her arms onto the table. I couldn't hide now, she knew that I knew she knew. My face confirmed to that.  The bell rings. She held up her keys, mine to be exact. I just nod confirming the same page. 

'Wyatt....'