Finding Her Inner Wolf

Change of Plans

I awoke to a bright sun and a slight breeze blowing on a calm Sunday morning. My last 7 days begins today. No work to worry about, except my own expedition. Needed to find out what happened. As much as reading the journals in order to get a story to my family's past was beginning to be an adventure, maybe I should skip ahead to the last journal so I could find where my journey would lead me next. But then I would miss so much of what clues she could've left for each of us kids. Where to find my family maybe. The tug of war playing in my head was going to give me a headache. I needed to decide on what to do. I loved to read and could read fast but 4 full journals was going to need much longer than a week.

The light bulb finally went off in my head. I will skim the entries to get the gist of what happens. I'm sure I could catch most of what I need to come up with my plan. I smiled triumphantly at myself. I just really needed to get some supplies from town and charge up my battery pack. I had plugged my phone in and there was enough juice for maybe just one more charge. I reached for the phone to see that there was about half a charge on it so far. I turned it on. I still was unsure of the time until my phone dinged to life. There were a few notifications that turned it into an impatient doorbell. Just after 8 A.M.

I swiped the screen and scrolled the notification bar down. emails, social s**t, texts. Greg asking me to be his life saver, lost another bar tender. Xandra needing help, guessing she is in a guy or clothing crisis. Some random messages from some random numbers. Not sure who handed out my number, but going to kick some ass. I have trust issues, but people just don't think before they pass a number on. Guess I should be social and join civilization for a little bit anyway. Groaning thinking about having to interact with some people. I slowly reached for my clothes and decided on a purple bandanna inspired top with off the shoulder sleeves, black suede boot cut pants that lace up from the knee to the waist the hide the snap that I had installed after realizing men and children think a peep show is great, and of course my boots.

As I struggle to persuade my pants on inside my tent that I'm only able to crouch in, I consider retiring this tent and replacing it with a taller one. Contorting ones body to achieve full dress is not worth the popped joints and headaches that follow. Once I have cursed my way into my pants I open my tent to step out to secure the ties at the waist. I tighten the laces enough to lay flat against my skin but not press into it. I slide each foot into a boot and use my cooler to lace up and tie them. I realize that I need to tame my mop atop my head. I step towards the opening of my tent and reach for the clear container labeled "The Cowardly Lion". I pull the top open and grab my detangling spray and douse my mane. I reach for the thick wide toothed comb and begin the process of starting at the ends and working towards the top in short cursed breaths.

After what seems a lifetime I am able to glide it through without a snag. I replace it and grab the coconut hair cream. I squeeze a quarter sized amount in one hand, rub them together and work it through the now tamed waves. I use the comb to split my hair into half. I Dutch braid each side, then use red leather straps to crissed cross wrap from the base of my scalp to the end of each braid. I close the case and place it back inside and grab the case and the mirror next. I've become quit talented doing my make up one handed. I put on black eye liner, silver/grey shadow on the lids with an accent red in the creases, mascara, and red/brown lipstick. That's as fancy as I get. Give myself a couple spritzes of body spray.

I grab belt pouch, This is a leather belt (this one red) with what almost looks like what could be a gun holster attached on the side. This is actually a zipper pouch for carrying my phone, wallet, etc. At the bottom of the pouch is another strap that buckles around just above the knee. Before slipping my phone in I message Greg to see what time he needs me. Before I have a chance to slip it in the pouch it dings.

"At Noon would be great. Found another thief among us so had to cut my losses." Greg

Rolling my eyes and chuckling I think I know who it was. Angela was sketchy in my mind since I met her. Not the boss so not my problem. Poor Greg, can't trust anyone anymore. I hope it's a good night, any extra money I could add to the stash would be great. I decided I should bring the 1980 journal with me, who knows maybe I'll get some extra clues before work.

"Of course I'll cover, thanks Greg" I replied quickly.

I looked at the time, only 9:30, I'll head into town and grab a bite to eat and maybe find a place to sit and read some more. Everyone is in church, something I had never found solace in. Maybe I'll relax at a gas station with some coffee until the pizza place opens up and hit their buffet before work. With a plan set I walked over to Luna pulled off her cover shook it off, folded it up, and placed it in my tent. Walked back over to my pride possession and swung a leg over and started the engine with a purr. Slowly turning myself around toward the road, gave a bit of gas and drove the few miles into town. I enjoy the way the road curves, climbs, and falls with the scenery. As soon as I hit town I headed straight for the nearest gas station. As I parked my bike, I could smell the coffee. I walked in the door and headed for the coffee station. I grab a large butternut and add chocolate caramel creamer. I walk over to the counter where the attendant is.

"Morning, just the coffee this morning?" she says sweetly.

"Yes, thank you." I reply.

"Alright, that'll be $1.25" she states, I glance at her tag, Sara.

"Here ya go Sara, thanks." dropping five quarters in her hand.

She drops the change in the register, as I wrap my hand around my cup in one hand and the journal and charger dangling in the other. I walk slowly inhaling the sweet inviting smell toward the tables across from the register. I chose the table all the way against the wall. I set my items on the top and slide in the seat. I grab the charger and plugged the one end into the wall and the other into the charge port of my phone. I was greeted with the usual ding to confirm it was charging.

I glanced at the time on my screen, 9:50 A.M., just over an hour of reading should be enough time to maybe get a few pages taken care of. I pick up the journal open it up and flip to the next unread entry. I start scanning the page, not a lot of intriguing information on this one. More of her hopes and dreams, talking about what they have done or gotten to prepare. The next few entries are sketches of a house, with a caption "Our Home"; a scene of a valley with a small lake and tall grass captioned "My Peaceful Place". I skim an entry that talks about how Lincoln has been spending a lot of time with his father learning the ropes I guess. Carmen talks about cravings and date nights, shopping for baby. A lot of references to the "pack" and everything that her as a "mate" does to contribute to the pack.

I looked at page after page filled with her fears, hopes, dreams, and emotions. I soaked in every bit I could. I was in awe of her level of art skills. She's very talented. I should really spend more time with my drawing and painting. I wish I had the level of talent she had. Maybe I will find her some day and share our common talent. Before I realized it the time had flown by and about a quarter of my cup of coffee had gone cold. It was now 10:50 and I needed to get to the pizza place, eat, and get to work. I slid out of the booth, grabbing my charger; phone; journal; and cup. I tossed the cup into the trash on the way out the door.

When I got to my grub choice, there were only a few other vehicles. So I wouldn't have to do the inch shuffle around the food, growing impatient. I walked in was seated and ordered quickly enough. As the waitress walked away I wondered over to the buffet and grabbed a plate. Pizza, pasta, wings, and cheese breadsticks. With a full plate and empty stomach, I was about to walk and eat. Although, I thought better of myself and waited until I slid in my booth. After two trips through the line I was stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey. I paid for my meal and left a tip for the waitress. Walking out to the parking lot was almost too much. I glanced at my phone, 11:45, time to get to work. Sunday nights aren't too bad, mainly the regulars. I swung a leg over Luna and sat for a few minutes trying to will my guts to stop churning. Too much, way too much food.

I drove down Main Street and parked in front of the bar, in my usual spot. The day was bright and warm. I was hoping for kind of an easy night, meaning no run ins with my not so favorite jack ass and his sheep. But as I stood beside Luna I could already see his vehicle. I dropped my head in defeat, repeating my jackass mantra, "He's not worth the jail time, I don't have bail money, and my time here is only temporary." As I'm saying this for the third time, I hear a familiar voice come from the right.

"Hey! Girl don't you ever return messages? Or calls? I had a serious emergency!" There stood Xandra with her arms crossed, and tapping her foot impatiently.

"Sorry, really I am. I had a black out migraine yesterday, and after I got a message from Grant about working today I kind of got my one track mind going for work mode." I pleaded apologetically.

"Ouch, sorry about the black out. Guess my emergency wasn't so important anyways. I made it just fine." Xandra mocked.

"Guy or clothes?" I joked.

"Shaytanna, do you think I'm really that predictable?" Turning her head as if she was actually insulted.

"Xandra, seriously? The last 3 emergencies were couldn't find a particular pair of shoes, couldn't decide on one dress for a family reunion so ended up buying three, and you weren't sure if you should go on a date with someone who had asked you out because his wardrobe seemed to plain. Need I go on?" I spewed out quickly before stepping onto the sidewalk and heading for the bar abandoning her there with her attitude.

Love the girl, she just needs knocked down a peg or two once in awhile. As I open the door I'm greeted with dim lights and some countryock coming out of the jukebox. I walk behind the bar and grab my time card and enter my time, 11:59 A.M., slide my card back in it's slot and grab my apron and secure it around my waist. I look up and Grant is sitting on his usual stool at the end of the bar. He smiles and waves me over.

"Morning Grant, how's my favorite guy today?" I smile.

"Well perfect now that my favorite girl showed up to save the day." Grant laughs before taking a swig of his beer.

"Well glad I could help, it will give a bit more mula for the next leg of my adventure. I will really miss this place to be honest." I lower my head thinking about how soon I will be leaving.

"This place will miss your face as well. But let's not dwell on goodbyes and enjoy the last time you'll be behind the bar. Hopefully you'll come visit before you leave." Grant grins, but seemed he was very sincere.

I fight back a couple tears from thinking about it too much and only nod my head to respond.

"Get yourself together, don't wimp out now." I curse under my breath.

The door swings open and a very irritated Xandra storms in. I swear for a moment I thought steam was coming out of her ears and her eyes were blood red. She never likes being told off, downside of being the only child and daddy's little princess. This is not the first time I've set her off, and now I guess it will be the last. Hate to leave with our friendship a bit rocky at the moment. I took a deep breath and waited for her wrath to fly at me like daggers. Wish she wouldn't do it while I was working but this is the Xandra I have come to know.

Xandra stormed towards the bar with a purpose, while the patrons watched with smirks and whispers. I caught a glimpse of Grant's confused and slightly annoyed face out of the corner of my eye. As if waiting for a physical attack of some sort I braced myself physically and mentally for her. I wasn't about to start a royal rumble in the bar, but if she crossed the line I wasn't afraid to lay down the law on her ass either.

"You b***h! I don't know who you think you were talking to out there, but it sure as HELL wasn't me!" Xandra was seething as the words spewed from her lips.

"Xan you need to calm down, I'm working. We'll talk about this later." Clenching my jaw trying to remain calm. The last thing I needed was for my rage to erupt and not be able to control the outcome. I try taking a few deep breaths and start to turn away, there were actual customers to serve. Before I could get turned around I felt a hand across my face. The few patrons we had erupted in cheers. They were begging for a cat fight. My face burned, I felt my blood begin to boil. This is the first time she has ever slapped me. I almost began to panic, I needed to get somewhere to hide and quick.

I shot a quick glance towards Grant and mouthed, "I'll be back, but I have to go now!"

Before I knew it Grant was standing beside me whispering in my ear, "Go in the back and take a break, I've got this." He placed his hands on my shoulders and nudged me towards the direction of the back. I didn't resist. I held my cheek and ran to find sanctuary away from the scene that was unfolding behind me. I made it to the locker room and collapsed in anger and sadness. I let the emotions flow. At this point I didn't care what happened or who saw it. I cried, cussed and began to feel dizzy. That feeling was familiar, and was going to be dangerous if I didn't get a handle on myself and quick.

"Well I think that's more excitement than we all bargained for." The calm raspy voice of Grant came from the doorway. I feel my anger start to subside. "Sent her packing, with the help of an escort." Leaning in the doorway and his thumbs in his pockets.

"I'm so sorry Grant, Xandra must be on a hormonal rage and I pushed the psycho button. I know she'll regret her actions after she gets her head out of her ass within a day or two." feeling guiltier by the minute.

"I know you're feeling guilty, but she made her choice. I'll be at the bar helping hold down the fort 'til you're ready." Grant smiled. He turned around and headed back to his perch.

I sat there for a few more minutes until I gathered my wits and made my way back out to the floor. The rest of the night was its usual Sunday downtime regulars. Pretty quiet until around Ten, when Andrew and his drones had reached their usual alcohol consumption level where they get stuck in stupid. They were becoming very loud and irritating to the other patrons. It was Randy and myself working the bar, Grant had decided to head home less than thirty minutes ago. Standing behind the bar washing some glasses I turn towards Randy who is at the till getting change for a customer:

"Care to make a wager Randy?" turning my head towards the morons at a table in the middle of the bar.

"Nah, I think I've learned my lesson about putting money down for anything when you're involved." Randy chuckled.

"Ah come on, it's a 50/50 chance. 20 bucks says we have to throw them out BEFORE closing." I taunt Randy.

"As tempting as it is, I don't think so. I'm already at the point of tossing the morons." He said with a smile.

"Alright, so who gives the warning?" Hoping he would take this one. Was not in the mood to deal with their mouths tonight.

"Well, I guess I'll be nice and I'll gladly be the ASS!" Randy said leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. He smiled, dropped his arms and began making his way towards their table.

I watched intently to see what they would say or do. If they got threatening or rude I would be ready with the phone to call the cops and have them picked up. We don't have to do this often but once in awhile a patron or two will cross that line. I crossed my fingers and hoped this wouldn't be one of those nights.

"Hey guys, enjoying your drinks?" Randy sounded friendly, but his tone also said he wanted them to cool it.

"Well HELL yessss! How bout that sweeet assssh Shhhayyy bing usss mmore." Andrew slurred. Proving they just needed to call it a night. This brought a round of echo from his friends.

"Now Andrew you know that's never going to happen on both counts. Ya'll need to call it a night and head home to sleep it off." Randy sounded with authority.

The whole table sat there with looks of utter confusion as if they didn't understand what was just said. It was almost a couple minutes of a staring contest between the table and Randy before the light bulb clicked for Andrew.

"Heey! Nnnow tha-that's r-ru-rude mmmman!" I swear he was getting worse by the minute.

"Now either ya'll leave on your own or we'll get cops to make you leave." Randy boomed crossing his arms.

With that statement the Andrew was walked, almost dragged out by his friends. He cursed at Randy, and made his usual cat calls at me. I was relieved and annoyed, but at least the rest of the night wouldn't be terrible. Everything went smoothly with the rest of the patrons. Tips were even better after they left. Randy and I joked how we should've booted them a lot sooner. At closing time we had almost everything done. After locking the doors saying goodnight I headed for my home under the stars.