Finding Her Inner Wolf

Endless Questions

This chapter will contain graphic details that may not sit well with everyone. If you don't feel comfortable reading it, that's cool, just skip this chapter.

    "We have a female early 20's sexually assaulted, conscious and stable....." The EMT rattled off my stats to doctors and nurses who met them at the Emergency entrance.

    "She's lucky. It could've been way worse." I heard a staff member mumble.

    "Yeah well you should see the other guy, he's right behind us." The EMT almost laughed.

    The staff looked at him and then looked surprised at me.

    I was in a fog and had tunnel vision. I wanted to shower and wash Andrew off of me. I was being poked and prodded as the hospital staff was drawing blood and asking me questions I didn't want to answer or wasn't sure how.

    "Ma'am, Ma'am, Can you please tell me your name?" A female doctor was almost yelling into my face while using a light to check for pupil response.

    "Shay...Shaytanna Paige" I croaked.

    "Good, Do you remember what happened?" She almost looked worried.

    "Yeah, Andrew f*****g attacked me." I growled.

    "Alright, can you squeeze my hands?" The doctor had her concerned face on and continued the barrage of questions.

    I continued to do my best answering and reacting. After all my vitals were checked and double checked, then came the words I didn't want to think about. A rape Kit. The collection of evidence is a must for the conviction of the rapist. But for the victim, nothing is more degrading or invasive as that. I can only guess the look on my face was telling them they were on crack.

    " I just want to get out of here. Andrew will think twice before he does something like that again." I glared.

    "I understand that you're feeling bombarded and your privacy has disappeared, but we need to get this evidence so we can make him do time for this." An officer tried soothing me while surrounded by nurses and my doctor. "If not for you, do it for the other women who we haven't been able to close this for."

    "Others? What do you mean others? How many? I knew that bastard was greasy." I seethed.

    "There are others, and unfortunately there wasn't evidence to sink him, or the women weren't able to give a fully positive I.D." Her head tilted down. You could see the frustration written plainly on her face.

    "I uh had a hard time falling asleep because I thought I heard and saw someone outside. But, after looking around several times I guess I thought I was paranoid and went to bed. I woke up and Andrew was on top of me, restrained." I growled recounting the details.

    "Have you dealt with Andrew before? Or was this your first encounter?" She questioned.

    "I've broken his pride on more than one occasion. At the bar tonight was the most recent." I mumbled.

    "So when you say broken pride..." She was only partially able to ask.

    "I emasculated him in front of an audience. He is always trying to act as if he's god's gift to women, trying to put the moves on anything that walks. I've only pointed out that he was far from what I wanted and should go home and take care of himself." I spewed.

    "I see. Is this the first time he assaulted you?" Her tone was almost shaking. You could see she wanted to nail this bastard.

    "He's been handsy, but that was about it." I croaked. "Hence, the insults that have been given."

    I explained the entire history and threats between Andrew and myself. With every detail I gave to her the more you could see the officer become more aggravated. Every time the pen hit the paper, it sounded as if she was stabbing an unseen body. She really wanted to get him, I was beginning to wonder if she'd had an encounter of her own to get vengeance. I sat there studying her face. I could almost bet my life she had something personal against him.

"So that should cover your statement. We would like to gather a kit for evidence so we can make sure he doesn't continue to get away with rape." She spoke smoothly and held my hand.

    I slowly withdrew my hand and sighed. I didn't want my privacy invaded any further, but in the end she was right, this moron needs to get what's coming to him. I clapped my to hands to my face and slowly pulled them down before they left my jaw and flopped into my lap. Rolling my eyes and moaning and letting out an exasperated sigh, I turned my head to look at her face. Which held such hope and anger. I couldn't let him get away with this, not again. If it's true he's skated a few times before, the ASS was going down.

    "Okay, let's do it." I managed to meekly say.

    I could see her face change the slightest, she was trying to maintain that professional look and nodded her head before replying, "Good. Is there anyone we can call for you?"

    "No, It's just me." I said flatly.

    She motioned for the doctor and nurses to proceed. I took a deep breath knowing that the process was going to be the most embarrassing process I would have to deal with tonight. This isn't my first rodeo. Though, it's been many years since I've had to deal with it. I could see a nurse drag a tray full of items: bags, paper, comb, forms, envelopes, swabs, etc. I began seeing flashes as they took photographic evidence. 

    Using a marker with measurements to show size, preserving every bruise, scrape, burn. After the photos were collected, I was asked to lay back. During this process I let my mind wander. I don't want to remember this again, giving me nightmares. I went into auto mode. I felt pressure at times. I could hear instructions, and follow them. I just wanted it to be over.

As soon as the doctor held my hand my eyes snapped, I jumped. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't control the reaction, "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to jump."

    "Don't apologize, we are finished. I do want to keep you overnight. Your temp is a bit high, but we don't see any signs of infection." She spoke smoothly.

    I rolled my eyes, my temp has always been a bit high, nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't want to stay here, especially if that moron was somewhere close by.

    "Are you sure I can't go? I can't stay here with that ASS around! I just want to go to my home in the middle of nowhere." I protested.

    "Miss Paige, I'm sorry but we need you to stay. And he is in a room as far from yours as possible. He's handcuffed to his bed and an officer is posted outside his door." She calmly states, but then adds, "Plus your home is being processed and is probably not going to be available to you until sometime tomorrow. The officer left her card for you, and said she would stop by tomorrow to let you know what the next steps are."

    "Damn it all! I don't need them shuffling through my home and destroying it all. And they better not even think about touching LUNA!" I screamed, which caught the attention of the nurses at their desks.

    "Luna? Who is-" She looked confused.

    "Ahhh, my bike. No one touches my bike." I growled.

    "I'm sure they will treat everything as fragile as glass." She winked. "Now relax and get some rest. We've given you some pain meds in your I.V." pointing to the bag hanging next to the bed.

    "I don't need any. It'll wear off fast anyway, as a kid doctors told me my metabolism burns off a lot very quickly." I mocked.

    "Hmm, ok. Try and rest." the doctor cooed as she patted my shoulder.

    As she walked out and flipped the switch for the light, but left the door cracked, I heard muffled voices. The only word I could make out was Andrew, so of course my ears perked up. I had to hear where that pathetic scum was. I concentrated on their voices and controlled my breathing before it all came in loud and clear.

    "You're right, he smells like a toilet." I heard a female voice laugh.

    "Well he should, he was marinated in it." Another snorted.

At least they found it as amusing as I did doing it to him. He's lucky I didn't kill him.

    "She put up one hell of a fight, although not sure which injuries are from her and which are from the wolf he kept mumbling about." A male voice piped in.

I had to smile at the thought that he was scared shitless and probably wouldn't be making any sense to anyone. Good I hoped he suffered from that fear for the rest of his life.

    "I'm worried about the fact that she's been living out there in a tent for months and has never been attacked by an animal, and how the hell she wasn't attacked by the wolf as well." The second nurse's voice sounded suspicious and worried.

    "He keeps saying it was a wolf, but there hasn't been a wild animal attack like this since the 80's" the male voice stated matter of fact.

    The way they were going back and forth it sounded as if it was the general consensus of everyone that knew of the attack agreed that some wild animal drug him out of the tent and toyed with him, and he somehow managed to get away. They agreed that it was probably the adrenaline mixed with fear that was causing him not to remember the particulars. I could hear yelling from down the hall, Andrew sounded as if he was well on his way to a psych ward, and not facing rape charges. With the thought of that however, I couldn't decide which way I would feel justice prevailed.

    On the one hand, being admitted into a psychiatric hospital meant he would be locked into a facility questioning his own sanityand forced medication and visits with a shrink. On the other hand if it wasnt decided that he wasnt mentally incompetant and he would go to prison. With this route he would be crammed into a jail cell and be forced to follow the states rules and punished accordingly. With any luck he would become somebodys b***h. Either way he would no longer be getting away with how he has treated women as his personal toys of pleasure, his pleasure.

    I was suddenly snapped out of my inner contemplation by the sound of alarms. I sat up to try and see around the cracked door. The next sound that followed was could be compared to a stampede. The nurse's station emptied out quicker than a black Friday sale. Voices were jumbling together all turning into a garbled mess. I was about to get out of bed and check things out for myself, before my nurse poked her head in and pointed a finger at me with the don't even think about it look. I eased back and laid back, still curious of the commotion.

    As curious as I was and wanted to jump out of this bed to check things out, my body was really starting to remind me of the fight I had been through. I really needed to relax and get some rest, but was unable to get the events of tonight out of my mind. Every time I closed them I began having flashes and fits that got my heart and head panicking. My eyes would snap open and my heart felt as if it was pounding out of my chest.

"Slow deep breaths, dumb ass" Speaking condencendingly to myself.

I wasn't sure how long I had company in my room before I heard someone clearing their throat in the door. My head whipped around to see my doctor giving me a very concerned look.

    "Miss Paige? Is everything alright?" Her was furrowed, slowly stepping closer to me.

    "Yeah, just some uh well flashes. Not my first rodeo, I'm fine." Letting words puff between breaths.

    "Are you sure you're alright?" Now with concern written plainly on her face.

    "They'll pass, I'll move on. Told you I don't dwell." I lied, not only to her but myself.

    She looked as if she saw through me but was awesome to not call me out on it. She looked as if she had more to say but wasn't speaking. I could see she was trying to form words but also holding back. I was really trying to read her, but failing miserably. I guess I'm too tired to get a read on her. I really need some rest.

    "Look, it's going to be a rough night, but I'll be ok. Promise." Giving my best scouts honor look.

    "Alright, we'll keep an eye on you. I'll be back in the morning to see how you're doing." She had the stern I mean in it look.

    "Ok, I promise. Scouts honor." I smiled.

    She slowly turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. I knew she was right. My body needed to rest. I need my mind to stop and let go. I curl on my side and close my eyes. I feel the heavy feeling you get as you drift off. Bring on the terrors of the night, I'm too tired to avoid them any longer.