Finding Her Inner Wolf

Moving Camp

I was awoken with a start, there was a nurse looking scared of me.  My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I was drenched in sweat. She looked at me like it was my fault there was a crowd growing in the door.  I was confused as to why everyone was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Dear are you alright?” She was still giving me that scared look.

“Yeah I am, what’s the deal?” I questioned.

“You were screaming in your sleep!” She stated.

I gave her a quizzical look.  I wasn’t screaming, I don’t do that.  Do I? I mean I guess I wouldn’t know unless I actually recorded myself, and since I haven’t ever wanted to watch myself flip flop and snore for hours on end.  I sat there in deep argument with myself not being aware of everyone and their whispers at that point.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was even doing it.” I meekly spoke.

“You’re fine, you just gave us a pretty good startle.” She replied.

“I guess last night’s events took a bigger toll on me than I originally thought.” I whispered.

“No worries dear, it’s something that happens that can’t be helped.  You will be ok. Everyone deals with the stress of an assault in their own way.” Her smile was comforting.

After checking, double checking, and even triple checking that I was sure I was ok, the room cleared out.  I sat there silently with my own thoughts. I began to wonder what would come next. All I wanted was to get out of this hospital get back to my camp and leave this town behind forever.  I have made friends that I may or may not keep in touch with, but I can guarantee I won’t ever come back here, ever. I wasn’t even sure where I was even going to go next. I was suddenly interrupted by a voice near the door.

“Hey Miss Paige, how are you feeling today?” The cop from yesterday was here already.

“Didn’t sleep as good as I had hoped.” Was the only thing that seemed to fit.

“I know right now it’s rough, but it will get better.” She seemed to want to help.

“I know, takes time, yada yada yada.  I’ve heard it all before. Lived through it before.” My voice snarked.

“You are a very sarcastic person.  I know you don’t really want to deal with any of this right now, but this is serious and it needs to be handled.” Her voice started sounding motherly.

I just sat there looking at her.  I didn’t want to acknowledge her or anyone at this point.  Even if she was right, I dealt with things the only way I knew how. Leave.  Pack all my stuff, get on my bike, and hit the road. At this point I didn’t care where I went, as long as I left this place behind.  I knew she was here to speak to me about last night, and that I wouldn’t be able to leave until this whole Andrew situation had been dealt with.  Taking a deep breath, I realized I had to follow through with this and get it over with so I could do what I do best, Ride.

“So, I know why you’re here.  What else do you need from me before that ASS gets what he deserves?” I sigh.

“Well I just wanted to check with you to make sure you were doing ok.  You can return to your camp, but I strongly urge you to get a hotel room or find some place safe to stay until this over.”  She said with the least bit of emotion. Guessing she’s trying to remain as professional as possible.

“I will not run or show weakness.  That camp is my home for the time being and I refuse to let the i***t ruin it.” I seethed.

“I’m not saying he would actually do anything, but when he gets bail there is no telling what could happen.” Now she was sounding more concerned.

“Look, uh officer Rebecca, I doubt he’s dumb enough to do anything.  Wait, what do you mean WHEN he gets bail?” I was confused and getting irritated.  No judge would give that moron bail, would they?

“Shaytanna, he comes from a pretty big family, money.  So he’s got a good lawyer I’m sure. So of course his lawyer is going to demand bail.  The most the judge can do if he doesn’t deny bail is set a high amount, but I’m sure his family will have no problem posting it.” Officer Rebecca was sounding more annoyed than myself.

“Damn it, I need to get out of here.  Nothing is going to happen to him. He’ll get away with it!  I’m not sticking around.” I was now panicked.

“Please Miss Paige, take a deep breath.  We have plenty of evidence, and witnesses to his behavior.  Now I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I’ll be there every step of the way for you.  If you need to talk about any of it, call me. My number is on the card I left with you last night.” She was looking panicked now.  I knew if I bolted that Andrew would continue his attacks until one day he would end up killing someone.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t have that on my conscience.  No this bastard was going down. I needed to collect myself and do what needed to be done.  So as the saying goes, time to put the big girl panties on and grow a pair.

“I’m sorry, this is not how I saw my last time in this town going.  I’ll be fine. I’ll move my camp, maybe the offer to use Grant’s camper is still available.” My confidence returning.

A look of relief swept across her face.  “Yes, that is how to get things done. So do you just randomly show up in random towns from time to time?  Where are you from?” curiosity gets them every time.

“I guess I was born here.  I’ve been trying to find my family that I was taken from when I was a toddler.  This is the last place my mom was so had to start somewhere.” I replied.

“Oh, your mom was Carmen right?  Sorry I had gotten curious when I heard your name.  I was a kid then but I remember her. I was friends with your brothers.” she rambled.

“Really?  I’m sorry I was so young I don’t remember anything.  I’ve talked to very few people. After everything went crazy she just disappeared.”  sounding defeated again.

“Well after this is all over, you will be able to head to the next destination.  I’m sure you will find her and the rest of your family.” giving me a bit of a spark again.

“Thanks Rebecca, I appreciate it.  So when does he go before the judge?” I questioned.

“Well he has to be released from the hospital first, and that’s looking like it would take some time.  He still isn’t in the best shape.” her small smile didn’t go unnoticed.

“Oh, how bad?  I don’t necessarily feel bad for the guy, but I guess I didn’t realize how bad he was.” feeling a bit guilty.

“It looks like he’s battling an infection right now.  I’m guessing he wasn’t in the best shape before this. Either way, it’s going to be a long process.” she exasperated.

I was sure I didn’t do too much damage.  I was still in shock that I remembered everything.  Every other time I had blacked out, and didn’t come to until the next morning.

“In deep thought?” looking concerned Rebecca questioned.

“Yeah, I guess just trying to lay out my game plan in my head.” I lied.

“Well I’ll leave you to it then, and I’ll be in touch.” Rebecca promised.

I watched her walk out of the room.  I was hoping that I could at least get out of the hospital soon.  If I’m going to be stuck in this town for longer, I didn’t want to be in this room.  I turned on the t.v. to try and distract my thoughts. I found a movie to pass the time.  The nurse brought me breakfast, which wasn’t very filling. I needed a steak, medium rare, just thinking about it made growl.  I heard a knock on the door followed by my doctor entering.

“I see you’ve eaten.  The nurses told me about the nightmare you had.  Other than that how are you feeling?” flipping through my chart.

“Ready to get out of here.  I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic in here to be honest.” I chimed.

“Well everything is looking good, except your temp hasn’t changed.  It’s still a bit high, but since it’s still the same, I can't argue that it’s normal for you.” sounding a bit confused.

“I’m a medical oddity.  Always have been. So when can I go?” Anxiously awaiting her approval.

“Let’s take a look at your injuries, and see how you’re doing first.” Dr. Iler answered.

Great, here goes the usual, I heal quick and doctors always make a big deal out of it.  She walks closer and begins inspecting stitches and swelling. Asking more questions. The process went on for far longer than I felt necessary.  Eventually, I was able to convince her I was fine and just a medical mystery.

“Well, everything looks good.  I will let you leave today, but if you have any problems at all, please come back.  Do you understand?” trying to make sure I understood her orders.

“Scouts honor, I will IF anything changes I will come see you.” Holding two fingers up as my way of showing her I would do just that.

“Alright, I’ll prescribe you some pain meds, and antibiotics just in case.” She smiled.

Now I just had to play the waiting game.  As always it took forever for them to gather everything up and finalize paperwork for me to leave.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have any extra clothes to change into, or my phone. So i was wondering what the hell I was going to wear out of here.  As if by a miracle Grant walked in the door. He was carrying a bag, which I hoped was clothes.

“Shaytanna, I’m so sorry this happened.  The cops stopped by last night and this morning.  I figured you would need some items. So don’t kill me but I went to your camp and and grabbed some clothes for you.” Setting the bag down in front of me.

“Oh thank you Grant.  I was wondering how I was going to get to my bike.  So do I still have a job? Looks like I’ll be sticking around for awhile.” I smiled.

“Of course, but take couple days.  And if you would stay in the camper now? Please?” Concern washed through his voice.

“Yes, thank you.  I will gather my camp and move to the camper.  Probably for the best anyway.” I promised.

“Good, so when you busting out of here?” Grant joked.

“Well actually I’m waiting for the papers now.” I was getting really antsy waiting.

As if on cue the nurse came in to give me my papers and instructions.  I couldn’t jump off the bed and into the bathroom fast enough to change and leave.  After walking out of the room Grant and I walked towards the exit the opposite route which didn’t pass by the room Andrew was in.  I wasn’t able to breath until we walked out of the sliding doors. I followed Grant to his truck and got in the passenger side. I asked him if we could stop at the grocery store so I could get a few things.

He gladly stopped at the store, I ran in and grabbed a few days worth of groceries.  I couldn’t wait to get things moved around and to sit down and eat a real meal. I was exhausted but was now leary about falling asleep right now.  After putting my groceries in the back and jumping back in the cab, Grant put the truck in drive and we headed back to my camp. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing it, but as soon as packed it all up I could sleep somewhere else.  Grant stopped next to my camp. We both got out and started cleaning everything up. Even Though I had insisted that I could do it on my own he said he was helping.

I decided not to argue, as it would go a lot faster.  I packed all my clothes and close the suitcase, packed all my other essentials, including the journals, into the tote.  I decided very quickly that the tent, sleeping bag, and pillows were going into a fire. They can be replaced. I packed my small trailer with my belongings and connected the hitch to Luna.  I followed Grant up the lane toward his house. Within a couple minutes the house and camper came into view. This is it, this is where I will get through this nightmare. I just wish I could leave now, but thanks to Andrew I was stuck.

After parking, Grant handed me a key for the camper.  I unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was a decent sized camper.  More space than I needed but was thankful for the gesture. I began bringing my stuff inside.  Luckily during camping season Grant keeps the camper hooked up. In his words you never know when you’ll have company over.  There was running water and electricity. He had even had a plan for the waste disposal. There was even cable and wifi. He thinks of everything.  I placed my groceries in the cabinets and fridge. I began thinking of a shower. I was sore, dirty, and I just wanted to wash it all away.  

I walked through the kitchenette, up a couple of steps into the bedroom which held a queen sized bed.  I grabbed my toiletries, clean clothes, and a towel. I walked down the steps, and turned into the bathroom just before the kitchen.  I turned on the water, stripped my clothes, and stepped into the steam. The heat and pressure of the water felt completely relaxed. I could’ve stayed there all day, had the hot water lasted.  I washed my hair and scrubbed my body. I was still tender and sore, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to scrub it all away. After stepping out of the shower and drying off, I finally caught a glance of my reflection in the mirror above the sink.

I turned away, I was disgusted with what I saw.  As I turned I was disgusted with the sight of my body in the full body mirror on the door.  Tears stung my eyes, and I began getting a migraine. As quickly as I could, I dressed and swung the door open.  I went to the door of the camper and made sure it was locked. It was early afternoon, but I needed to lay down. I hoped the nightmares wouldn’t be too bad.  I dizzily walked toward the bedroom and crawled under the blankets drowning out the light. It didn’t take long before I drifted off.