Finding Her Inner Wolf

Keeping to Myself

When I awoke, there wasn’t a single ray of light peeking through the curtains of the camper.  I groaned that I had slept the day away, stretching. I realized that I no longer felt any pain from the attack from Andrew.  I slowly sat up, not sure how I feel about staying in the camper. I never wanted to be in someone else’s debt, but with what had happened I was actually nervous about staying in a tent again.  Having a locked door between myself and possible intruders was more comforting. I slowly slid to the end of the bed and stood up.

My stomach growled, I guess I hadn’t realized how much I had neglected my body’s need for food.  Placing my hand over my stomach, rubbing, and thinking about the steak that was in the fridge calling my name.  I recall Grant motioning to a small grill sitting outside the camper, now where did he say the charcoal was? I walk toward the kitchenette and start fumbling through the cabinets.  After scouring through every single one, I was feeling defeated that I would be having to cook it on the stove top. Steaks aren’t terrible that way, but they’re best on a grill.

As I was pouting to myself, grabbing the skillet and slamming it on the stove.  Cursing at how I felt that lady luck hates me, and is laughing at how I was stumbling my way through life.  I opened the fridge to grab the butter, steak, mushrooms, minced garlic, peppered bacon, and fresh green beans.  I set my prizes on the small counter top, and reached for a small red onion from the hanging basket. I found the cutting board and a knife.  I turned on the burner underneath my skillet, and placed a pat of butter in the center on medium low.  

As I waited for the butter to melt, I pulled my steak out of the bowl that contained the homemade honey teriyaki marinade.  I sprinkled salt substitute of lemon pepper on both sides and placed it in the middle of the skillet. The bowl of remaining juices were set aside.  Quickly sliced onion, mushrooms, and four slices of bacon. These were then poured into the same skillet. Taking a handful of green beans, I snapped them in half and mixed them in with the bacon and veggies slowly simmering next to the steak.  I added a small amount of garlic. The aromas were slowly starting to fill the room, making my mouth water. I took the bowl of marinade and drizzled some of the contents over my meal.

While my stomach began growling louder, I cleaned up the counter of remaining food that would need to be put back into the fridge.  After closing the door of the fridge, I turned back to see how my food was looking. My mouth salivated wanting to devour it all. I checked the bottom of the steak and edges.  It was time to flip it. One last drizzle of sauce, and discarded the rest down the drain before rinsing the bowl, cutting board, and knife. I walked over to the sofa and plopped down.  Grabbing the remote, hit the power button. The screen turned on with a flash. The weather was currently on. Wasn’t really in the mood for anything in particular, just something for the noise.  I watched uninterested about the coming storms predicted for the next few days.

After about fifteen minutes I got up to check my steak.  I used my thumb to check the firmness.  

“Damn, overshot the mark!” I grumbled aloud.

I grabbed a plate and placed the steak onto it, then turned my attention to my veggies.  I placed them next to the steak. I carefully poured the remaining veggies and juices over the whole plate.  In my hunger I walked to the table and sat down with my plate in front of me without silverware. Growling at myself I got up and walked back to the basket on the counter to grab a knife and for.  After I sat down I sliced off a chunk of steak and shoved it into my mouth. I hummed as the flavors burst in my mouth. I was pretty satisfied that I hadn’t over cooked it by much. The plate of food didn’t stand a chance of lasting.  It was inhaled very quickly. The green beans soaked up flavors of the marinade, steak, and other veggies.

After the plate was clear of food, all that remained were some juices.  I grabbed a dinner roll and tore off a piece to soak up the juices. That in itself could’ve been its own meal.  I cleared my dishes and rinsed them in the sink. Looking at the sink I realized how full my belly was, but before I allowed myself to sink into a food coma, the dishes needed to be washed.  I filled the sink with soapy hot water, before scrubbing my dishes clean. After rinsing and drying them I placed them back in their spots. I made sure to clean the stove top and table as well.  Afterwards I took my seat on the couch in front of the television.

My eyelids started to become heavy.  I was about to allow my food coma to sink in, but my ears caught something that made them fly open again.

“In Valentine, we learned of Andrew Mason, who is admitted at the local hospital recovering from injuries he occurred during a s****l assault on a local bartender.  He will stay in the hospital until such time that he is stable and can be transported to the local jail, to be brought before the judge. We will now go to our reporter, Robert, on location with his father James. Robert?”  The anchor said with a bit too much pep in her voice.

“Yes, thank you.  We are here with James Mason.  The father of Andrew Mason who is in this hospital under guard while he heals from his injuries he sustained last night.  He is being accused of raping a bartender. James, how do you feel about these allegations?” Robert spewed out.

“My son would never do such despicable things.  He’s always been a good kid. It pisses me off that this girl thinks she can try and ruin his life with her lies.” James spat venomous words.

“Now Mr. Mason, we have found that other women have filed reports against your son, and-” Robert was interrupted.

“Listen here, those girls, those vile sluts, were just mad at him for not keeping them.” James sounded so sure of himself.

At this point I couldn’t watch anymore, I shut the television off.  My heart raced and pounded as if it were going to fly from my chest.  Tears stung my eyes and poured down my cheeks. I was angry and only saw red.  I felt sick to my stomach and then felt my dinner rising. I jumped from the couch and flew to the bathroom.  My body shook violently as I emptied my stomach, which was followed by dry heaves. My head was now pounding so hard, I could hear my own pulse.  After I finished, I sat on the floor with my knees to my chest. I cried, letting my emotions spill out into the open.

“That bastard will not get away with this.  He will go to jail, I swear, even if it’s the last thing that happens.” I swore to myself.  I felt so much anger and hatred toward Andrew, his father, the world, everyone and everything.

I screamed profanities and wishes of harm and death towards it all.  My blood was boiling. My head felt as if it would explode. I needed to calm down otherwise I would turn again.  I began to panic. I jumped to my feet and ran out the door. The night sky was beautiful. Maybe I should let the change happen and run.  Maybe I would feel more relaxed, if I don’t totally black out like I usually do.

I ran out of the front door of the camper and ran behind the camperI felt my body contorting.  Quickly I stripped my clothes off. Audibally could hear snapping, with every single one pain shot through my body.  Heat surged through every nerve ending. I howled in pain, and chuckled to myself, realizing I was now on all fours covered in fur.  I looked around, I could see so much more clearly. My ears were now bombarded with the sounds of the night, chirping of crickets to the rustling of grass.  I set my sights toward the tree line ahead of me.  

I didn’t think I just ran, and I felt free.  The stress and tension that had me feeling like the world was falling all around me, was now melting away like the last bit of winter does in the spring.  I dodged in between trees, rolling around in the dirt and leaves. Chased a few rabbits and squirrels as well. I was so happy that I hadn’t blacked this out.  I was feeling more free than I had in years. The feeling of the cool breeze brought comfort. I wandered around the trees for what seemed like hours.  

I started to feel tired, and wanted to sleep.  I needed sleep. I looked around to get my bearings.  I sniffed the air. I slowly walked toward the familiar scent of Grant’s property.  I could see the edge of the tree line. I began a slow run toward my new home. When I was on the back side of the camper I concentrated going back to my two legged form.  I was now standing naked as the day I was born next to the camper. I looked down at the clothing I had left, and pulled them back on. I felt relaxed, but I was still pissed.

I knew that once the case hits the trial stage I was going to have to learn to control myself.  There were going to be moments that could send me into a huge rage and cause my little secret to come into the open.  That’s the last thing I needed. I walked back around to the door of the camper and opened it. I stepped inside, shut and locked it.  I turned off the lights as I walked toward my bedroom. I crawled onto my bed and slid underneath the covers. I reached for my phone and checked the time, 11:48, I thought it was later than that.

I noticed I had text messages, s**t I hope they aren’t from Grant.  Once I saw Xandra’s name in bold, I wanted to take that wish back. I was not in the mood to deal with her still being pissed at me or acting like we hadn’t fought because she needed her ego stroked.  I groaned and debated what I was going to do about her. I decided I was far too relaxed and ready to sleep to deal with whatever she wanted right now. I set the phone down, turned off the lamp, and curled up on my side.  I just wanted to sleep. Once I closed my eyes, I felt my body relax and almost melt into the bed. Wonderful sleep, I didn’t fight it.