My life

Chapter 3~ Nicholas

Nicholas is my ex the guy that broke my heart. He was the guy that I spent 1 year of my life with. He made me happy for so long. The one thing I regret is lying to him. He always was there when my parents where fighting. He was always there for me when I was upset or just not in a good mood. He was the first one to say I love you. I remember our first date we went to a movie and we watched fast and furious. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that the whole movie and after the movie we walked out holding hands. He was about to kiss me but then my mom started talking to him. My mom also showed him videos of me and my sister when we were kids. I was acting like I was a youtuber and my sister was laughing the whole video. He started laughing during the video and told me he thought it was cute. He was my world the one I looked forward to the next day. He is also the reason I don't want to make it to my next day. I was heart broken when I found out he was cheating. Its been 2 months and it still hurts to even think about his name. I've done stupid things in the past 2 months I've tried talking to him. I also shut out most of my friends. I even shut out the friend that told me he was cheating. I've never truly smiled since we broke up. My family thinks I'm fine and they force me to do all these things even my sister does. The only reason I do it is because I don't need them yelling and making my life worse than it is. My sister cares more about her friends than me. When she found out Nicholas cheated she just said I told you not to date him then laughed and walked away. I haven't even had time to just think about anything but as I'm writing I get to think. He told me we could still be friends but if we can still be friends why is he ignoring me. I know I shouldn't say this but I miss him. Writing this has killed me I realized I never stopped liking him. I try to tell myself stop loving him let him go. I cant let him go no matter how much I tell myself to I just cant. He was the first guy I truly loved the first guy I could tell all my problems to. He wasn't the first guy to break me my dad was. He never went a day without texting me. Always sent good morning text and good night text. I thought it would be easy to forget him but I was wrong. He asked me one day after we broke up if I still liked him and me being me said no and I regret that. I never thought it would hut this much to break up with someone but I guess I was wrong. I cried one time and that was Friday November 15th and we broke up the day before. I was at my sisters soccer game that Friday night and I told my parents I would sit in the car. I wanted to know why he did it so I kept blowing up his phone then I finally sent this long text and while I was texting I broke down. That was the worst day for me because that same night my sister broke he collarbone playing soccer. He did text me back and all he had to say was he was sorry. I cried harder then I stopped when someone got hurt In the game so I wiped the tears off my face and it was dark no one could see. I ran down to the field and went to ask my mom what happened and my heart dropped. Emma was sitting down holding her shoulder crying and she never cries. I tried getting my moms attention but her and my dad both looked at me and ignored me. I walked back up to the car and just sat there waiting for them to come to the car and when they got in the car no one told me what happened so I was clueless for about 3 hours. I started texting my brother and he wouldn't reply so that hurt. That night was a pretty f****d up night for me. The more I thought about the fact that he cheated the more I realized he was cheating on me on my birthday. He told me he forgot my birthday and that was probably because he had another girlfriend. I also know that if he truly loved me there wouldn't be another girl. If a guy really likes you there wont be another person. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriends and you like someone else go with the second because if you loved the first there wouldn't be a second. Life without him is hard right know but I know it will get better and if it doesn't I have lived through 2 months I can live through the rest of my life with the heart acing pain of being alone. I just have to say one thing don't treat the person you love like s**t that can break them in so many ways. Also if you like someone tell them before its to late don't make the mistake of not telling them you may never get the chance to if you give it up the first time. You don't want that loving someone of liking someone may only last for a little while but cherish those moments while you can. I have made the mistake of not telling someone I like them and I regret that so much now he doesn't talk to me. People come and go if someone that shows up in your life can make you smile without even talking to you them you like them and tell them for all you know they like you to. Being rejected can be bad but the pain fades before you know it you may like someone else. Don't base someone off there looks to. Don't bully people also because you don't know what goes on at there home. For all you know they are homeless or get abused that's why most kids are quiet and shy they are scared you are going to hurt them like it is for them at home. Just always keep what I said in the back of your mind don't bully kids, tell your crush you like them and one last thing live your life to the fullest you never know when it will end.