CHAPTER 1: SUCH HATEFUL SHAME
* Ringing of the Alarm*
" Oh, s**t, I am late... I am late"
Today is the day of my new job as a secretary, of the Ledford Company. I don't want to mess up. I am Jenna Monleon 24 years old, graduated with a Bachelor of Social Science but as for now I am a part-time secretary to gain more money for the life I want for my family, I am a Filipina who works in the United States of America. As I have a salary I send half of it to my family, I am trying to be wise spending money. I gasp because my breakfast again is an egg and noodles. It is very different when I am in the Philippines when I am missing my family especially my Mom who always cooks for me delicious Adobo and Sinigang. I was suddenly in tears but as I remember I am going too late so I hurry up to eat much as I can and get out for the bus, I don't own a car and I wish, I could. Some of my co-workers are so successful, while me? even in a secretary position, I don't have even a car how pathetic right? well, that's life.
" I CAN DO IT NEVER GIVE UP!"
I shouted inside the bus and I feel shame because people looking at me weirdly, I am so crazy and why I shouted like that?
When the bus stop I immediately go out and arrange my hair. I tied up and my heels that never get a new one that it's been 3 years now and my shoes are still in my side for years, if my shoe heels can talk she is the witness of my hard work and failures in life.
I look up to see the clock it's 6:39 a.m my work will be 7:30 a.m and I need to be there as early as possible than Mr. Ledford besides I did not know his face yet he will meet me today and I am so nervous. When I try to hurry for the elevator it is also the time where it closed. I feel so disappointed and I find a way so I go to the stairs, and know sounds crazy but I have to do it or else I get fired for being late, they said this man is very cold-hearted and have anger issues.
I am running out of air but still go on and I am so thirsty finally, I am at the office of Mr. Ledford then fixed myself when I open the door. He was standing aside on his desk, I am almost out of words to say, he stares at me and when I realize I need to move but badly I was out of balance and my shoe heels are broken, he goes near me and helps me to get up and he saw my heels broke not because it brokes, but it's old.
" I am sorry Mr. Ledford, I am late the elevator is broken and I used the stairs"
He stares at me with cold eyes with no words to say, they are right this man doesn't have even a soul or emotions to express. I am so shy and nervous I pick up the heels and hide them I curl my toes not to see my nails that it looks bad, instead of he will be mad at me. He just moves away and gets me warm water.
I am speechless, I get the glass of water and drink it happily. Such a relief with the feelings that I have water finally for so long steps on the stairs.
" Thank you, Mr. Ledford"
" Okay, go to your desk Ms. Monleon and those papers you need to file them accordingly"
" Yes-yes Mr. Ledford"
He chuckles a bit, did I hear it right? he chuckles? does it mean he is comfortable with me?
Oh no, no, I better stop fantasizing about this boss he is so perfect while me? I am just a normal person who doesn't have even have high fashion. While I am at my desk, he is so silent and I am just working on the papers, he is staring at me a little and look away when I look at him. I feel butterflies on my stomach, I feel blushing right now, this ain't right he is my boss I need to calm down but he is so handsome his eyebrows, his amber green eyes, smile hair, suites, and even his clear face that all women wanting him so bad.
" Ms. Monleon? are you staring at me?"
" Oh, s**t, oh I mean no Mr. Ledford, I am just thinking"
He moves away to his table and smirking asking again towards me I feel so nervous, his devilish serious eyes get me nervous and stuttering.
" I am thinking about the files?"
" I am sure you know about it Ms. Monleon what else are you thinking?"
" Nothing..."
And I look away and pretending to be busy at the computer and he smiling again at me but I try to hide my feelings and not to smile back. What is he doing? is he courtship or interrupting me or something? No, he is not even courtship me! never a woman like should not be with this man.
He is rich powerful and handsome. That woman can have him which is more beautiful, why am I thinking like this? such a shame of me for being a dreamer that never will happen. Such a hateful shame I have right now but this is right and besides, I don't know this man.
" Mr. Ledford? someone at the door?"
" Oh yes, I remember"
A man standing bringing two boxes and get outside immediately and I am confused. He is smiling and gets near to my desk and grabs my leg and he opens the box with a nice elegant shoe that looks so expensive. I refuse to get it but he said no and he told me that I need it.
" No Mr. Ledford this is expensive. I can buy them tomorrow, I can't pay for these shoes right now"
" Did I say to pay it?"
" But this is expensive? I can't even buy this on my own, I will make sure to pay you back"
" Well, what about this? you can pay me one more thing"
" What is it, Mr. Ledford?"
Is he trying to get my body for the payment? No this is not good, I have never been s*x with anyone, my mom said I must not have s*x with someone that I don't know especially no marriage yet.
" Go with me on the Ball night is that okay?"
" But I don't have anything to wear?"
" 9:00 pm night go with me, I will get you a dress is that a deal?"
" Yes but one condition! we need to eat too?"
He laughed so hard now, I am speechless, does he really laugh? as I heard he doesn't laugh either smile. But how is he smiling and laughing like this?
" You are so cute baby girl... okay we have foods okay such a sweet thing"