The Love I can't Give

Thy Shall Not Speak

Sakura

The sunlight streaming in through her window, the feeling of the warm sun making contact with her skin made her let out a content sigh, the feeling was absolute bliss. That is until she heard the sound of pounding against her door startling her. And just like every other morning she is brought down into the unnerving world of reality, the reality being the place where she never wants to be, the place that haunts her, the never ending labyrinth that her life is. She lets out a groan, not wanting to face reality just yet, she just wants to go into her own Lala-land for a little more.

In her land she has a prince charming who truly cares for her, who loves her, even with all her scars. She hopes that they would live happily ever after, maybe have two kids and have a beautiful house in the suburbs where they would watch their children play out in the front yard. She would make dinner for her family and once the kids are asleep, her and Prince Charming would make love all night long until the sun rises.

But alas, that it just her imagination running wild, for she is stuck in a house with an abusive father, a drug addicted mother, and an overbearing older brother who makes it his life goal to ruin each day of her life. Speaking of said brother, he currently pounds against her door, making his presence known and trying to make his little sister wish she was never born.

This hatred for her, he doesn't know where it came from, he just remembers being a small child and seeing a little girl with onyx black hair and marble eyes and just hating her, maybe it was because she was a hybrid, meanwhile he was stuck with regular, boring angel wings, or maybe it's because of the fact that while she didn't have to do anything to get loved, he had to fight blood, sweat, and tears, he didn't receive love from the people of the pack, no he was stuck clawing his way onto the top, and once he got there he grew an incredible hatred for the little hybrid girl that was nothing more but a little pest.

Their parents fell down a dark path once he became beta, they knew of the responsibilities that he would soon possess. It was to much for them, a heavy weight on their shoulders. While one seeked relief through drugs, the other merely let their anger out through punches, it didn't matter who he hit whether it be trees, wolfs...his kids, anything to give him some sort of relief. And so both mother and father are stuck inside their own minds not realizing the damage that they are causing to a beta filled with a deep sense of hatred, and a little hybrid wanting nothing more but love. For why can't she have it? Love is there for everyone to have, there just needs to be the right person to bring it out onto other people. And that's why day in and day out she hopes to feel love, to feel the warming love of a man or women and be able to release the incredible amount of pain that is placed upon her shoulders.

She is pulled out of her thoughts when the door of her bedroom is opened. She lets out a shriek, quickly ducking under the covers, because of the fear eradicating her entire being. She hears the sound of an annoyed sigh, her jumbled mind concluding that her brother is the one who has barged in. She slowly pulls down the blanket, her marble eyes making contact with the white orbs of her brother. She was always jealous of his eyes, while her eyes were a combination of her mother and father, her brother got the eyes of their father, white. A color that means purity, but her brother and father are filled with nothing but malicious thoughts.

Her brother keeps looking at her, not showing any emotion, he is blank, he feels nothing, he is nothing. Becoming the beta made him loose something while also becoming nothing. And the sick part of it? He feels absolute satisfaction of this, though he doesn't show it. He loves the feeling of having power, though he's not an alpha, he still likes to tell people what to do, if it makes sense he gets of on it.

So when his parents fell down a black hole, he didn't care, in fact he loved it, it meant that he could play around with his little pest more and not suffer any consequences. Though he has to be careful when he goes outside, after all, all of the people think that he is nothing but a sweetheart to his sister, who protects her from the emotional and physical abuse that her mother and father bring.

But of course, that is nothing but a lie. He isn't nice, he isn't a sweetheart, if anything he torments her more than both mother and father. It's horrible, truly. The awful feeling of never wanting to be close to her family is always there, lingering in her mind.

And so brother and sister sit still, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to react from the rundown that is their life's. Both stand on opposite ends of a spectrum, one feeling nothing but superiority, and the other feeling nothing but a deeps sense of loneliness in a world that is filled with so much hatred and more.

"Hello, pest." Her brother snarls with absolute hatred. Sakura jumps, the sound of her brothers harsh voice startling her. She looks away from his eyes and looks towards her window, her mind finding a reason to distract her from the god-awful day that is ahead of her. She sees a tree out in the distance, and on said tree are children, laughing, jumping, and over all having a good time. Sakura soon finds herself wishing that she was on that tree, that she was as carefree as those kids were, that she could be laughing, and jumping, and overall just having the fun that she wishes she can have.

She feels someone grasp her arm tightly, the feeling of claws digging into the soft skin of her arm makes her gasp, it hurts, her mind screams but her lips don't make a sound. She hasn't spoken a word in 10 years, it's been to long, she can't even remember the sound of her voice.

Maybe her voice has gotten deeper, she went through puberty about 4 years ago, she has finally grown breast and a butt, and now she has the eyes of every un-mated creature on her. She was a beauty, truly, so it isn't a wonder as to why she has many men and women come and ask for her hand. But because of Sakura being a mute, they grow tired of her easily.

"Look at me when I am talking to you, pest." Her brother speaks while shaking her. The utter disrespect that she is showing has made him ferocious, he doesn't like disrespect, people need to be punished when they are disrespectful, he thought maliciously. He drags her by her hair towards his special play room, the room that holds many toys of torture that he enjoys using on her.

Throughout the entire trip Sakura doesn't make a peep, the barley audible whimpers the only thing that leaves her lips. She grips the hand that is holding her hair, trying to loosen the awful feeling of the fingers digging into her scalp, but it is no use, every time her brother feels her hands trying to loosen his he shakes her head as if she is a rabid dog that is clinging onto him.

They reach the play room that is on the other side of the house, what was once a simple guest bedroom has become the starting place in Sakura's nightmares. She starts struggling trying to free herself and try and escape, she can't take another second of torture, it's to much, everyday it is a new toy that he uses on her and everyday is filled with a new sense of pain. It's never ending the feeling of pain, it rises up through her spinal cord and creates havoc throughout her entire body. She tries one last time to escape his unforgiving hold, but it's no use, so she lays limp knowing that today, just like every other day she would be punished to the brim. Who knows, maybe today she will pass out from the pain? Or maybe he will finally get her to say something?

These thoughts pass through her mind as she was dragged across the house, the carpet burning her back along the way, the whipping that she is probably going to receive along with the carpet burns would surely be a pain later.

They reached the obsidian black door that only serves to make Sakura all the more nervous, she begins to hyperventilate, the thought of the horrors that would commence through that very door over take her. She doesn't want to go in there, well of course no one would want to be in that place, it's far to scary of a place. A place that causes nightmares, a place that even the most evilest of people shiver at. He opens the door, the stench of dry blood wafting both their nostrils, Sakura gags, the thought that this is her dry blood that is wafting through her nose making her want to vomit everything that she has eaten (which was nothing).

He pulls her inside, her helpless body nothing more but a toy to him. He leaves her hair, and at last Sakura is able to rub the sore parts of her hair, the pain that he has given her only made a headache appear, the feeling of pounding the only comfort that she has.

He turns to her, his malicious white eyes making contact with her marble eyes. "What toy shall I use on you today, pest?"

***

Lucifer

Waking up was truly something that Lucifer didn't want to do anymore. The thought of waking up and not feeling the one he loves by his side makes him want to crawl deep inside a hole and never come out. But, he isn't allowed to do that, Evelina isn't of age yet, and so he has to get up everyday and lead a pack of 7 annoying, overbearing and childish Demonic Wolves. Even as he thinks this, a smile appears on his face, even if they are annoying, and overbearing he wouldn't change them for the world, he truly loves them, as a leader, friend, brother, uncle, whatever they may think he is to them he loves them, truly.

But, as a sad sigh leaves his lips, they can never replace the aching hole in his heart. There is only one person that can hold that place. Unfortunately she is long gone, she has gone to the heavens above, and taken her rightful place as the angel that they all once were.

And so he gets up, once again beginning the same process that he has been doing since Etheral has passed. He steps into the cold shower, not feeling anything, not a single thing. That's how it has been since she was gone, and that's how it will be.

He understands that he must move on one day, but how is that possible. How is it possible when he has spent so many centuries with her? How is he supposed to move on when she was his first love? How? Can someone please explain how? How can you leave behind the only thing that has kept you grounded? She was his peace, she was the calm in his storm, the heaven on earth.

Her mind, body, and soul always had him thinking that there is and never will be anything that could over throw her, she's perfect to him. His soft sobs soon fill the empty bathroom, the sound of water dripping onto the tiles and the sounds of his heart wrenching sobs the only sound that can be heard.

He tried to hold them in, tried to be strong enough for the both of them. Maybe then he can go out and pretend he is okay. He can't be thinking of these sad things, they will be the death of him. It's like an open wound that he keeps pouring salt over, but at this point the salt is never ending, and on top of that salt he keeps plunging a dagger into his already bleeding heart.

He covers his mouth with his palm, truly loosing control over his emotions. They completely take over him, not giving him a chance to breath. Not giving him a chance to process what his life has become.

And so a broken man stands inside his shower, sobs eradicating his entire being, not knowing how to process the life that the gods have given him. Maybe this is his punishment, maybe this is what he deserves for disturbing his fellow brothers, after all Lucifer was named after the 'God of Violence,' so it wasn't a wonder as to why he was mistreated in the heavens.

Of course, Lucifer is different from the God of the Underworld. He has never mistreated anyone, he will never mistreat anyone, after all, the Demonic Wolves say that he is too much of a baby to be mean. Though they do respect him as a leader, it is still all the more fun to simply see him squirm around and turn into a baffled mess. He shakes his head as he lets out a shaky breath, yeah these kids really aren't that bad to have around, at least for now that he can't have his eternal with the one he wants, the way he is living now can't be that bad. Can it?

He slowly washes his entire body, his sobs slowly being put at ease. It is his new, and everyday routine, wake up and cry in the shower that is. Ethereal would have laughed at him and told him to put his big boy pants on. To be a man about this situation. To stand proud and to not let anyone or anything throw back his only form of confidence.

After all he is a leader, he is an alpha, he is supposed to be strong, he has to be, he can't let this one bump in the road overthrow him from reaching his end goal. But wasn't his end goal to be able to live his happily ever after with Ethereal? So what is he supposed to do when his end of the road is no longer there? How can he go back and build something that was previously built with so much love and care? It's just not possible for him, though some may argue that he can do, he will be able to do it. At the moment, where his life is right now, he just doesn't have the energy to build his road again. Right now, he's content with the stand still he is currently on, he doesn't mind the fact that his life isn't moving forward.

He slowly pulls his shirt on, his eyes focused on the picture that is sitting on his nightstand. It was a picture that was taken when the first camera came out, though black and white, it did nothing to stop you from seeing the happiness that outshines through their smiles. He remembers what had happened that day, it was truly a magical day. Though they were young he knew at that second that this would be the woman that he would spend the rest of his days with.

They were only a couple of centuries old, in the realm of the gods they would be considered teenagers, some would say that they moved on in their relationship way to fast, but the mere truth of it is that they were in love. There was and still is no other way to put it, they loved each other, since the minute that red met purple they knew it, they just knew that faith had paired them together. The day of the picture he remembers the many jealous stares that they would receive, men and women wishing that it was her that was holding their arm and vice versa. But nobody could take the special place that Etheral held, they just can't. And he would make sure that no one would take her place, if it's the last thing that he would do.

Knocking on his door interrupts the rant that was going through his head. He looks towards his beige door and proceeds to tell the person behind the door to enter. Aki, his beta, walks into the room, he bows and proceeds to take a seat on Lucifer's bed. He lays across the bed many documents, Lucifer finishes getting dressed so he takes a seat on the opposite end of his bed. He looks towards his paper and lets out a sad sigh. These meetings would happen almost all the time, it would sometimes just be him and Aki talking, but even then they had the presence of their Luna there, ready to put her input into the conversation and bringing her own ideas into the mix.

"Are you sure you want to meet them?" Aki asks. The apprehension is his voice is clear, he doesn't want to meet these people. The Demonic Wolves have been hidden for so many centuries, they are truly hated, very much so. So it isn't a wonder as to why Aki was very nervous to meet a new pack, who knows, maybe they already know who they are and want to meet them so they can be sent to the Gods to finally be exterminated once and for all. The fear of already losing one of their members to the Gods will forever be engraved into their minds. Now the only thing that they can hope that they won't get caught, they just won't be able to handle the pain of losing someone else, they won't survive it this time.

"Yes I'm sure, Aki. As I said before, I knew there was a nearby pack already, it was just a matter of time until they ask us to meet with them." Lucifer says with a slight grunt. He has already explained his plans for the pack, why would he suddenly change his plans? He was set on meeting them it would just be a matter of time before they did meet.

"And are you sure Evelina should be going?" She is far too young in their eyes, merely a sixteen year old that was abused her entire life for being an omega, and now said omega is a very powerful Demonic Wolf that harbors two split demonic Wolves in her. Now you tell me if that isn't a lot to take in?

Of course Lucifer should take into consideration that this incident only happened two months ago, it hasn't been that long. He should also take into consideration that she isn't twenty one yet, therefore she can't be taking over duties that both an Alpha and Luna should be doing. But the truth of it all is that Lucifer is not getting any younger, though he is immortal he has felt that the loss of his Luna has affected him in more ways than one.

He has grown physically, mentally, and emotionally. There is no doubt about that, and with his growth he also grown tired, he has grown eye bags under his eyes, he's had many sleepless nights, it's all just piling up on him and at this point, he doesn't know whether or not he'll be able to hold himself up anymore.