First Love, A Second Time Around

Prologue- Fort Jackson, SC, 2012

Ally

It had been 10 long weeks since I'd seen Danny. Ten weeks of not hearing his voice when he called to say good night to me every night, even if he'd just dropped me off from a date. Ten weeks without sweet text messages, holding hands, kissing him, holding him, feeling him. I wrote to him religiously every day after his first letter arrived, which gave me his address. He could not write as often, of course, but I hoped the letters, the pictures, and my love would keep him going through boot camp until his Family Day and Graduation.

I knew it was hard, boot camp. They essentially break you down to build you up into a better version of yourself. I couldn't believe that was possible with Danny. He was always perfection to me. He was the best guy I'd ever known, besides my own father, of course.

Danny and I grew up together in a sleepy little farm town called Oakdale, in Upstate NY. Everyone knew everyone else. Danny's parents and my parents were both high school sweethearts and best friends, so they were over the moon when we got together.

Danny and I talked a lot about our future. We wanted to get married as soon as possible after he finished boot camp and AIT (Advanced Individual Training) so I could accompany him to his duty stations. I was attending our local community college while he did his thing, getting some prerequisites out of the way. My goal was to become a teacher, early childhood education. I wanted a degree that would carry me to each new station. We wanted children, but we were definitely going to wait until the time was right, and we were in a good place with our careers.

For these reasons, and many more, I made the drive from NY to SC to see my Danny for roughly 48 hours. His parents did as well, but they were leaving later than I was. My trusty GPS would get me there. I knew we would not have much alone time with him, if any, but I didn't care. I wanted to see him graduate and get ready to start his next phase. I wanted him to know I was still here and in it for the long haul. In one of his letters, Danny told me that many of his fellow soldiers received "Dear John" and "Dear Jane" letters because their significant others couldn't handle the separation, or found someone else while they were gone. I know Danny worried, but that was not me. I was not leaving him. He was my world.

I arrived late afternoon the day before Family Day. Family Day and Graduation were sort of the same, except Family Day was less formal. Both days, the soldiers stood on the field, and after the ceremony, they stood at attention until you found them. Family Day they were in their fatigues, for graduation they wore their formal suit or ASU's. He could be wearing a potato sack, and I wouldn't care, I just wanted to see him!

I checked into my hotel room courtesy of his parents. It was a basic room, I didn't need much, just a place to sleep and dress. I unpacked my suitcase and hung my dresses up. They survived the drive in the dress bag, but I would need to steam them this evening. I had two dresses, one for Family Day that was a pretty sundress, white, and flowy that I was wearing with a pair of sparkly sandals. My dress for graduation was more formal, a light pink sleeveless dress that came in at my waist, and the skirt continued to my knees in a straight cut. I was pairing it with a pair of matching wedges. Both dresses were flattering, the white dress showed off my tan and letting my green eyes shine while the pink complimented my blonde hair, and the fabric was light enough to accommodate the hot SC summer. I had a pretty wide brimmed white hat to pair with both dresses to help with the sun on the open field.

After unpacking, I decided to take a quick shower to wash the 16-hour drive away and soothe my stiff muscles. I put on a pair of pj pants and a tank top, pulling my long hair into a messy bun. I had no idea how far behind me his parents were, but I wanted to be comfortable until I met them for a quick dinner when they arrived. I adjusted the AC to my liking and lay down on the bed. I turned on the TV, finding a rerun of one of my favorite sitcoms, but quickly, the long drive and the warm shower caught up with me, and I quickly fell asleep.

I awoke to my cell phone ringing on the nightstand. I turned over and squinted at the caller ID, which showed Danny's mom as the caller.

"Hi Lauren, have you both arrived yet?" I ask while I sit up and orient myself from my nap.

"Hi Ally," his mom says, "how was your drive?"

"It was ok, long but worth it. I had to stop a couple of times, but the drive itself was uneventful." I tell her. I can hear music playing in the background and car horns. "Are you still driving?" I ask. I looked around the room. The light was definitely fading, though not ready to set. My phone said it was 8:30 pm. I'd been asleep for almost 3 hours.

"That's why I'm calling honey. There was a big accident on the expressway and we were stuck in traffic about two hours away. We don't know how long it will be until we get going again. Traffic is backed up for a few miles. I know we were going to have dinner, but we are not going to be there in time. Do you want to use my credit card to order a pizza for yourself?"

"No, I am ok here. I packed a cooler full of some drinks, fruit, and snacks for the road so I could just have something light and make up for it at breakfast tomorrow. Thank you for the offer, though!"

Lauren chuckled. "That's our Ally, always prepared. You would have made an amazing Girl Scout!"

I hung up with Danny's mom and decided to grab a water bottle, some yogurt, and an apple. I sat on the bed watching a re-run of my favorite sitcom and ate my dinner. I was glad I didn't have a heavy meal, my stomach was in knots and something light was just the thing. After I ate, I steamed my dresses and checked the time. It was a little past 10, and I wanted to get up early to get ready for the day. I wanted to look perfect for Danny.

I sat on the bed and grabbed my hairbrush and two hair ties. I Dutch-braided my hair in two braids, so when I got up, my hair would be in perfect waves. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and did my skin care routine. My best friend Gemma always teased me about my elaborate routine, but I was determined to keep my skin youth-full. At 18, most girls don't think about it, but I did.

My phone pinged, letting me know I had a text message. It was from Lauren letting me know that they made it to the hotel. I let her know I was relieved and I would see them both at breakfast at 7:30. It was just past 11 pm, so I climbed in bed, falling asleep almost instantly. Tomorrow could not come fast enough.

I woke the next morning feeling anxious and nervous. It had been so long since I'd seen Danny and I built this day up in my mind so many ways. In our letters, I asked him to please hug his momma first and his dad. Danny Sr. was also a military man, so he knew how both Lauren and I were feeling right now, but he was still Danny's father. I wanted them to have their moment with their son, and then Danny and I would have ours.

I put on a shower cap so my hair didn't get wet and got in the shower. Since I showered last night, it was a short shower, only needing to shave and wash. I got out, dried off, and wrapped the towel around me. After washing my face, moisturizer from head to toe, and brushing my teeth, I stepped back in the room and started getting ready. Light colored panties since the dress was white and a comfortable strapless white bra. I did my makeup, choosing to wear a light baked foundation instead of the heavier liquid one that would just melt off. I applied a little light eyeshadow and mascara, a light peachy-pink blush, and a nude lip gloss. Danny always told me he liked me better without makeup, but these two days are special.

I removed my braids and finger combed the waves, spritzing just a bit of hairspray on. I slipped on my dress last, admiring myself for a moment. I threw my lip gloss, room key, and my mini wallet that just held my credit card and cash into my clutch, slipped on my sandals, grabbed my hat, and rushed downstairs for breakfast. It was continental, which was fine. My stomach was still in knots.

Lauren and Danny Sr. were waiting when I arrived. Lauren knew me so well that she had already grabbed a blueberry muffin, some yogurt and orange juice for me.

"Oh honey, you look beautiful!" she exclaimed as I sat down.

"Thank you, so do you, Lauren. I love your dress!" She had opted for a lightweight dress as well. Hers was a light purple shift with matching sandals. She also had a wide brimmed hat.

We finished breakfast and walked out to their car. Today, I was riding with them. It just made sense as we were going to the same place. Tomorrow, I was driving myself. After we all spent some time together after graduation, I was driving home, and his parents were heading south for their biannual Florida trip.

I could hardly contain my excitement as we approached the base. We handled our ID'S over and received instructions on how to get to the field. It is a large base, almost like a little town or city within the base. Today, Danny would have an on base pass, meaning we could walk around the base or drive, and tomorrow, he would have a local pass, so Columbia was as far as we could go. He had to be back each day no later than 8pm.

We get to the field around 8 a.m., and it's already packed. Family Day started at 9 am. We followed the crowd to the rows of bleachers and found seats. I really wanted to be able to take pictures, but with a group that large, my chances of seeing Danny were pretty slim. I took a few selfies with his parents, especially his mom. Because our moms were best friends, even before Danny and I became a couple, we were still very close. She was my second mom. I have had so many pictures of us together over the years.

The ceremony started with the battalion commander making a small speech , encouraging some engagement by having us yell out cadences. Then, each of the units' drill sergeants spoke about their companies and how their transitions have progressed since basic training. We all broke apart into each unit, and the soldiers put on a demonstration of some of the skills they learned. I video'ed as much as I could even though I still could not see Danny.

Finally the ceremony ended and we were able to see our soldiers. Danny's parents and I walked out on the field looking for him. Just like tomorrow, when the formal graduation ceremony was to take place, our soldiers stood at attention until we found them.

The three of us spot him a few rows of soldiers back standing with A company. I wanted to run and throw myself into his arms but held back because I wanted his parents, especially his mom, to have that moment first. The three of us get to him, and his dad salutes him and says, "At ease soldier!" Danny's face turns into a huge smile as he shakes his father's hand, and they hug, and his mom wraps her arms around him, crying and kissing his face. I video'ed their moments, then Danny looks at me. I've been crying since we spotted him, and even more when his dad saluted him and he hugged his momma. He takes a step toward me, and I throw myself at him. He catches me, laughing, and swings me in the air while kissing me. For just that moment, it was just us, no one else around us. He puts me down, puts his forehead to mine, wipes my tears, and tells me how much he missed me.

"You have no idea how much those letters and pictures meant to me," he says,"I got the most mail out of anyone in our quarters and even though they hazed me, I knew they were jealous. Especially when I showed them who was writing!" I just laughed and kissed him again.

The four of us spent the day driving and walking around the base, stopping at shops and grabbing lunch. We had passes for the buffet dinner later, so we ate light. After lunch, his parents said they were going to go back to the hotel for a couple of hours, and his mom said the heat was getting to her. I saw her wink just a little when she got in the car, letting us know she wanted us to have some time to ourselves. I smiled gratefully at her.

As they drove away, Danny and I looked at each other, and he bent down and gave me the most passionate kiss. I returned it willingly. God, I missed this man! His arms around me felt so good but stronger. He gained some muscles for sure!

We walked around, holding hands and just enjoying being together. Some of his fellow soldiers said hi, they clapped each other's backs, and I heard so many names I knew I would never remember. I told him how my classes were going, and he talked about AIT. Because his AIT was right at Ft. Jackson, he was starting immediately. He had a day off after graduation, and then he had to report to AIT at another part of the base.

Soon, it was time to head to the hall for dinner. We met his parents outside of the hall, and all went in together. The hall was already crowded with soldiers and families.

We found ourselves seats, and his parents went to the buffet while we just sat holding hands. We knew he had to be back at his barracks at 8, and our time was limited.

Danny and I got our plates, and we all chatted while we ate dinner. Other soldiers stopped by, and we chatted with them and their families. Ft. Jackson was only one of a couple of bases who had co-ed basic training, so there were a few female soldiers who stopped by to say hi and introduce their families. Danny mentioned in one of his first letters that it was hard for him to see the girls treated like they were. He said he knew they were all there with the same goals, but it bothered him to watch the young women go through what he did because it was so hard. That made me smile. He was such a gentleman. It didn't surprise me at all that they stopped by.

One in particular, however, did rub me the wrong way, though. Her name was Casey. She was a pretty girl with a cute pixie haircut and almost as small as I was.

"Casey, these are my mom and dad, and this is Ally." Danny smiled at her and her parents.

"Oh hi! I'm Casey, Danny has told me so much about you. You are even prettier than your picture!" Casey extended her hand, and I shook it. When she let go, I noticed her slightly run her fingers along Danny's back. I didn't say anything then, but I would be soon!

Casey introduced her parents. Everyone smiled and shook hands. When they left, I swore I heard his mom ask why they weren't sitting together, but I didn't hear Casey's reply.

I was about to ask Danny about her, but the battalion commander came in and said a few words. Each company ate at different times, and we were last. It was 7:30, and the commander reminded the soldiers they were to be back at their barracks at 8 pm. That was our queue to clean up and get ready to say goodbye. His mom gave him a kiss, and his dad shook his hand. Then he grabbed my hand and dragged me around the side of the hall.

"You remember what I talked about in my last letter, right?" he asked. His last letter talked about the possibility of which duty station he would go to. If it was overseas, we would need to be married as soon as possible so I could go with him.

"Of course I do," I smiled, reaching up to touch his face.

"Good. We didn't get a chance to talk about it today. No matter what, you are it for me. I love you."

"I know, I love you too. Now kiss me and get your ass back to your barracks on time!"

Danny gave me the sweetest kiss and walked in the opposite direction. I met his parents and we walked to the car. I smiled all the way to the hotel. Seeing him for the day today was worth all the days I missed.

At the hotel, I hugged Danny's parents good night and headed to my room. I got into my pj's and pulled my hair up in a messy bun. I called my parents and told them all about the day. We said goodbye, and I brushed my teeth, set my alarm, and watched some TV until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I got up at the same time and hopped in the shower. My routine was the same, except I pulled half of my hair up and ran my straightener through it. I slipped into my dress and matching shoes and grabbed my bags, heading down to breakfast.

We had the same continental breakfast and headed out a little earlier than yesterday. This time, I followed them with my car because I was leaving after Danny's local pass day in Columbia. Having two cars also meant he and I could ride together off base and have some time alone.

Parking in the same place as yesterday, we walked toward the bleachers and sat in the same spot. The ceremony was nearly identical as yesterday, except the soldiers were in their dress uniform and not fatigues. There were no breakouts by units or companies. Once the ceremony ended, we walked to where Danny stood at attention. We took more pictures, Danny and I making some crazy faces. I told him I needed to use the bathroom, and he and his parents said they would meet me near the bleachers.

After using the bathroom, I washed my hands, and my finger combed my hair. I touched up my lip gloss and headed out to meet Danny and his parents. Rounding the corner to the bleachers, I could see they were talking to another family. Lauren and Danny Sr. stepped away for a minute, and I noticed they had been talking to Casey and her parents. Something felt off. She was leaning into him, touching his arm and looking at him in a way that did not feel right. I watched as Danny put his arm around her and kissed her.

I felt like the world had stopped. My stomach rolled, and I stumbled as I tried to walk backward. This was not happening. Not my Danny. Not this girl. I kept walking backward, bumping into people. I stopped long enough to take off my shoes so I could run.

At that moment, just as I was ready to bolt, Danny locked eyes with me. I was openly crying by now. He took a step toward me, and I ran. I ran fast all the way to my car. One of the perks of being small in this moment was that I got lost in the crowd.

I knew Danny was following me, but I hoped I made it to my car before he caught me. Tears were falling freely now. I got to my car and pulled out of the spot, heading for the exit. I looked in my rear view one last time and saw Danny bent over, head in his hands, and I was tempted to turn around. Then the image of him and Casey was in my mind again, and I kept going, never looking back.

Danny

As soon as I locked eyes with Ally on the field, I knew she never got the letter I sent last week. Damn it I f****d up so badly! I excused myself quickly and took off after her. She was so damn small and fast I couldn't find her. I ran to the parking lot where I thought she and my parents parked just in time to see her drive away. I yelled her name, but she never stopped. I stopped running, tears forming, and put my head in my hands. How the hell was I going to fix this?

Last week, Casey came to me to ask a huge favor. Casey and I became close during basic, platonically. I told her how hard it was to be away from Ally, and she understood because she was missing someone too. Her girlfriend Amelia. She showed me pictures of her and she was a beautiful girl with dark skin and long black brown hair. Casey told me a while back that her parents did not know she was gay. Her dad was a minister, and she just knew that he would not approve. Amelia wasn't coming to Family Day or Graduation, and I knew it was killing her.

So when Casey came to me with her request, I felt like I had to say yes. Ally and I felt strongly that love was love, and everyone deserved to be happy. Casey asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend so her parents would continue to think she was straight. They were concerned that she didn't have a boyfriend or a date throughout high school. Her mom introduced her to a couple of young men at church, but of course, she was not interested.

Casey promised it would be minimal. She would tell her parents we were in different companies, and the only day I would really need to do anything was after graduation. Seeing her at dinner yesterday kind of threw us, but I thought we pulled it off, and Ally, I thought went along with it as well.

The letter I sent her explained the situation, and I promised her she could speak with Casey afterwards, so she knew this was all for show. My parents knew as well, though my mom told me it was a terrible idea, especially since Ally never mentioned it at all. My Ally, my sweet caring Ally, would want to help Casey, so I just assumed she was alright with it.

My parents made small talk with Casey's parents while we waited for Ally to come back. I actually thought she was excusing herself so I could play my part. My parents excused themselves just after Casey's parents praised them on what a "fine young man" I was. That was when I put my arm around Casey and gave her the briefest of kisses to satisfy her parents.

When I turned and saw Ally and the devastated look on her face, my heart dropped. I realized she had no idea why I did what I did. I felt like an ass, and I took off after her when she ran.

Ally was a track star despite her height and short legs. Her height made it easy for me to lose her in the crowd, but I knew the general direction she was heading. I found her just in time to see her go. I called to her, I ran after her car but she never stopped. My Ally was gone, and I had no one to blame but myself.