Ink and Memories

I was dramatic whenever I watched a movie wherein the female lead was shot with a gun, trying to save the love of her life. I don't know what the purpose of the author's or director's ending of the story or the movie could be. I was wondering... What could be their ending if the female lead survives? What will happen to the couple if there is no tragedy in their relationship? Are they the right people, but at the wrong time? How could they know if they're the right people at the right time for each other? Or... Does true love need to involve pain? Because there is a saying that if you love someone, you need to feel pain. You need to suffer. But why is that? You're just loving; why do you need to suffer? Can't we just love and be happy? Why do we— “f**k!” I yelled and held my chest because I was surprised by the sudden knock of someone in my car. I was irritated when I opened it, greeted by Saymon—my ugly suitor who had been rejected many times but still pursued me and spread rumors on campus that I liked him back. “What do you need, Saymon? Make it quick; I still have some errands to run today,” I said boringly while looking at my wristwatch. He licked his lips. “We have dinner at our house. I said to my mom that I'm going to invite you—" I cut him off. “Saymon, how many times do I need to tell you to stop inviting me to your family dinners? First of all, I am not your girlfriend. And second, I will never be your girl.” I rolled my eyes and did not wait for his response. I suddenly closed my window and drove without saying goodbye. I was rude to him, yes. But Saymon couldn't take no for an answer. He always wanted me to please him or obey whatever he wanted. I wasn't his slave to praise and obey him whenever he said so. I was busy driving when my phone rang. I glanced at it and saw that Erlaine—my friend—was calling me. “Hey, b***h! Where the hell are you?! The class will start at exactly eight a.m., yet I can't even see your shadow!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. How could I forget about our research defense? I sighed. “Chill. I'm sure we're not going to present today. Ma'am Velasco only has one hour in our class; we're in the fourth group. For sure, for the first group, there will be a cooking show with the panelists. I'm sure. I'll bet my one-week allowance,” I lazily said and chuckled. She just yelled like a crazy woman and ended the phone call. I just threw my phone in the passenger seat. I was beyond ready to defend our study, but the movie I watched ruined my mood. And also, that ugly Saymon. I was in the middle of the road when my car suddenly stopped working. “What the heck?!” I started the engine, yet the car didn't want to start. I opened the car door and stepped outside to check my engine and my tires. I'm sure there's a problem with my tires because the last time I checked was months ago. I don't even remember the last time I checked them at the vulcanizers. “And I was right! Great!” I said to myself like a crazy woman. I even kicked the car tires as if they had done something horrible to me. Yeah, they did! I was about to call Erlaine when I noticed that there was no signal. Where the hell am I? I didn't even know there was a place like this in Pampanga. I looked around and saw that the place was quiet. Like, no one was living here. It looked peaceful yet scary because whenever I watch horror movies, this is what I always see. Because of the fear I was feeling, I ran into the old house to get some help. I stopped in front of the high, old gate. But even though it was old, you could see the beauty in it. The ruins always reminded me of something: that even the best of things that faded and were ruined could still be beautiful and stand. “Is there anybody here?!” I yelled at the top of my lungs so they could hear me, even if I was far away. I also banged on the gate to make some noise but to no avail. There was no one answering, so I took the opportunity when I saw the gate without a padlock. I opened it and welcomed myself in front of the grand mansion. I surveyed the whole mansion; it had a lot of different flowers and a well. It was like I was in a different world—a paradise. I walked slowly and followed the path to the entrance. The mansion looked old, but I could still see the beauty in it. It was a mix of modern and Spanish-era architecture, and I bet it was built during the time of the Spaniards. Also, I bet the owner of this grand mansion was a well-known family back then; when you saw them, you'd bow your head for your Your Highness. The mansion looked old and worn out, surrounded by tangled bushes and weeds. Its walls were cracked, and the paint had long faded away. Vines crawled up the sides, clinging to the bricks as if trying to hold the place together. Despite its shabby appearance, the mansion still had a majestic air about it. Its tall towers and fancy balconies hinted at a time when it was grand and beautiful. A wide staircase led up to the front door, which stood closed as if guarding the mysteries inside. The grounds were messy, with broken statues and dirty fountains scattered around. It felt sad and lonely like it missed the days when it was alive and bustling with activity. But even though it was falling apart, there was something special about the mansion. It had a story to tell, one that was waiting to be uncovered by anyone brave enough to explore its secrets. When I reached the stairs, taking them one by one to go to the entrance, I felt different. I had done this a lot of times. I couldn't explain the feeling; I felt like my anxiety was acting up again or something weird was happening that was unexplainable. I knocked on the door. “Hello, is there anybody here?! I didn't intend to trespass; I just want to get some help because my car is not working!” I said while still knocking at the giant wooden door. I tried to hold the doorknob when it suddenly opened. I was welcomed by the cold wind. I gulped and surveyed the whole interior of the mansion. It was like an abandoned house, but you could still see that things were luxurious. I stepped inside and tried to walk quietly so I wouldn't make any sound. I was like a thief because of what I was doing right now, even though I didn't have any bad intentions. And also, duh. I had my own business; why would I even steal anything if I could afford to buy them ten times? There was even a grand old piano and a veranda on the first floor where you could look at the garden when you opened the windows. There was a kitchen island. I didn't know that kitchen islands existed before. Or was I wrong that this was it a kitchen island? I looked around and saw a long, big table. I raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “What the heck is this for? Are they having a fiesta every single day? And how can they get the food they want if there's a long distance whenever they're eating?” I laughed hysterically. “Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine. I'm going to tell my friends about it when I get home!” I said and tried to walk around again. While I was walking to the living room, I saw a slightly open door. I was curious if there was someone inside that room; maybe I could ask for some help. I walked towards the door and slightly pushed it so I could go inside. But to my surprise, it looked like the room of a queen. There was a bookshelf full of books, a huge mirror with a gold design, a bed that looked like a European bed, and a walk-in closet full of gowns, dresses, corsets, and other luxury and aesthetic things. But I was more surprised when I saw a huge photo inside the room. It looked like it was looking through my soul. She had a pair of emerald green eyes with a mix of brown eyes, chocolate curly hair, a thick eyebrow, and long black eyelashes. She had a heart-shaped face with cupid-red lips. Her button nose completed her overall face. She was fair and sexy with her red gown corset. She had a mole above her right lips and below her right eye. While I was looking at her... It's like I was looking at myself in a mirror. I have different emotions right now. How could it be? Is reincarnation real? Or must I be crazy because of my situation right now? I stepped near the huge picture. I looked up, and I could tell that it looked like me. Or should I say... I looked like her. I glanced at the left side and saw the red corset gown. I touched it, and I felt goosebumps. I traced it with my fingers, and I had this feeling that I couldn't even explain it word for word. I gulped, and I was hesitant at first to wear it. I felt like I had already invaded so much privacy in this mansion. My mind was telling me to stop myself and get out of this house as fast as I could. But my heart told me something. It was like telling me to try it again. I was walking back and forth, thinking about what I should do. “f**k, earlier, my only problem was that my car was not f*****g working! Why did I even get into this situation?” I asked myself for the nth time. “What should I do now, pretty brain? Think, please!” I glanced at the red corset gown, and I thought, Why don't I give it a shot to follow my heart first? I smiled at that thought. Why did red become my favorite?! I couldn't even say no to red! I pulled the stand of the dress with me so I could face the mirror while I was trying to fit it on me. I removed my shirt and left only my brassiere. While looking in the mirror, I saw the birthmark on my left chest. I felt like I had hit something in my heart. I glanced at the photo and saw that she didn't have any birthmarks. That was our only difference. “Why am I thinking of it? Of course, we're different people!” I chuckled. I tried to put the dress on me, and I was having a hard time because it was too heavy because of the balloon thingy of the gown. And the corset was so tight that I thought my internal organs were already crying. “This red dress is making me realize that I'm getting fat! I hate it!” I complained while tying the tie of the corset. When I was done wearing it, I tried to fix my hair like in the picture. I was giggling the whole time because I was doing a portrayal like an anime. I was so mesmerized that I looked like her now that I was wearing the same dress she was wearing. I was busy turning around like a crazy princess when suddenly I hit something in the cabinet. My mouth hung open because the things were falling and scattered on the floor. I should be thankful because no glass broke. I started to pick up the things on the floor when I saw an old book with a picture of a girl who looked like me. Was this a diary? Should I try to peek into the book? But if I ever read what was in the book, that would already be a violation of privacy. Oh, wait. I'd already invaded some privacy since the first time I stepped foot here. I picked it up and then walked to the bed so I could sit and read. I was still carrying the book when I sat on the bed. It was so old that it already had dust on the front, and the papers were the color of coffee, and it smelled old. In front of the diary, the name and picture were etched. Leonora. Weird. It sounded like my name, too. Eleanor, Leonora. I was starting to go crazy because of what was happening today. I opened the book and traced every ink written there. Every stroke of the ink shouted memories from the past. Every ink had been used, expressing a lot of emotions. Every ink told a lot of stories from the past. November 29, 1896 Dear Diary, Today, I met him. His eyes held the universe within, and at that moment, I knew he was the one. Love whispered, weaving its enchantment upon our first glance. A ghost of a smile appeared on my lips. Even though I could not see them in real life, I knew that this must be love. I wasn't a fan of love stories, but I knew deep inside my soul that these two couples must have a great love story. I was turning the page with a smile when a dry flower dropped on my lap. I picked it up and saw a loving lilac. This was my favorite flower, not just because of the color but also because of the sense of texture that this flower gave. When I turned the next page, it was like it reminded me of my dream and the movie that I watched. There was no great ending. The great and happy ending was only made for the Disney princesses. I sobbed like a crazy woman because of Leonora's diary and her love story. January 28, 1897 Dear Diary, Today, I realized that sometimes two people can be perfectly right for each other, but the timing is all wrong. I closed the book and held my chest tightly. How brave Leonora was! She faced all the tragedy that life could offer her. She loved him, even though that meant giving all of herself to the man she loved. I looked in the mirror and saw how swollen my eyes were. I didn't even know that I had read all the content of the diary. As if because of the diary, I knew the story of Leonora and the man she loved. “How selfless you are, Leonora. How could you do that? If I were you, I'd make some ink to rewrite the story that fate had written for you and him!” I shouted in the mirror as if he had done horrible things to me. I glared at the mirror as I sobbed. I didn't know if I was just having hallucinations because of too much craziness today, but I saw the mirror having different colors, and it was like opening a new world to me. I was scared and shocked at the same time when something pulled me to go inside the mirror. “AH!” I yelled and tried to hold onto Leonora's diary, but the mirror pulled me and the diary inside it. And the last thing I knew, the color and the whole thing changed, it looked alive. It was as if I was back in the old year.