I'm Inlove With A Gay

Chapter 9

I paused a moment to watch Sebastian from a far. He was on his laptop and a paper on the side. He is seriously scanning on his ipad. I've heard that he has a mock test today. He is also a studying in business since he would be the inheritor of his father business. I'm riding a horse together with Mackemzie while the other boys are playing billiard.

This is our six days of staying here.

"He's really more handsome when taking seriously his studies." I've heard Mackemzie said behind me. I look back and didn't realize that she is already here. She's also watching his brother.

"But... he really became an ass after that." She added.

"What do you mean?" I asked back. Her horse walk a little and stop right in beside me.

"Hello, Hiraya..." Mackemzie whispered to my horse. She look back at me and smile.

"I really just wish he would study forever so that he would just look like that. His having serious in life but... you know after that, he would go back to what he is..." Mackemzie sighed.

"Maybe he's still frustrated and mad about what happened." I said. "I can't even blame him. Mom still did it. And I think mad and frustrated is not the right term to call it." She whispered with pain and sadness but more on enraged.

Where did the marriage fall apart? Cheating.

That's what why I'm scared. Life is not perfect and even people says that our family is perfect that it does not bring comfort but distress.

"Tita Claire is still living or... living somewhere else?" I asked carefully. She chuckles bitterly.

"Dad doesn't want to let go..." She whispered painfully and I looked at her and tears welled in her beautiful eyes. "Dad doesn't want her to go. We can survive... I think. We are grown up now but... Dad can't survive... without mom." She sadly whispered.

"How about you?" I asked her softly. I don't know how she survive it everyday and I'm glad that she's this strong.

"I'm the youngest of the family but I handle more the problem more maturedly than these men. Cheating and divorce is now normal to these days. And I don't want to flip our family but I don't have have any strength to fight because mom is the one who gave up."

I wish my hugs could send those pain on her heart.

"Don't be sad. That's life." She said when she notices that I couldn't even smile. "That's why its hard to trust someone. It's hard to love especially that the love I idolize fell apart..." She chuckles. "Let's go... I think they were already waiting for us." MacKemzie whispered and laugh to erase the pain.

She and her horse walk first while I'm looking at her. She built walls not for everyone but for herself so that she won't fall apart that easily.

I wish I have the power to repair a heart . I wish I have the power to repair their family and that way there's no more life that walks in darkness and loss. In that way everyone can live a happy life.

Mackemzie look back and I and my horse, Hiraya, started to walk. And even after our horse was put on their home, I could still the pain on her eyes but the way, how smile and laughter can easily be deceived. Fergus went to Mackemzie and he hugs her and Fergus whispered and that made Mackemzie laugh. She smack Fergus arm while Fergus is teasing her.

"Tha heart of Concepcion is here..." Fergus teased when I walk to them.

"What's with the heart of Concepcion? I don't even know that." I snorted while I went closer to Mackemzie and wrap my arms to her hour glass waist.

"Becuase wherever you are, you always gather our family together." Fergus whispered and kissed both of my cheeks. And I looked at him surprise. I didn't know that. Sebastian stand beside us and ai looked at him. He only smile and raises his brow to me like he was saying what's with the stare, and I just rolled my eyes to him. His attention went to MacKenzie. He whispered and Mackemzie starting to laugh. These boys love their sister so much and despite the taint on their parents relationship I hope that their relationship as siblings won't shaken just because of their parents.

After the lunch everyone is here outside having a fine drinks. While it's now the boys turn to ride a horse but the girls didn't follow since it's too hot outside.

My attention went to Clover whose holding a baby. Her beautiful duaghter, Danica. I smile while walking to her.

"Hey.... hey... baby..." I softly whispered. My hands went to her cute and delicate tiny hands. Danica looked at me and I pouted because she's beautiful even though that Clover doesn't even have her face. And I guess she looks more to her father.

"That's your Mommy Gabriella. She's too beautiful. And even her age is just fifteen, her mind and her heart and her body is quite playful." Clover whispered.

I kissed Danica's hand couple of times. She's too cute.

"So... baby Danica is the first great daughter of Baba and Gramps." I whispered amazingly. And Clover chukled.

"What a legend." Clover laugh.

I looked around when someone touches my back and found Baba smiling behind my back. I looked behind to search Gramps but he was nowhere to found.

"Your grandfather is with your father. They climb and get a cocunot. We'll have our lamaw, our dessert. It's good to drink cocunot under this hot season." Baba uttered. "Let's have a walk..." She whispered and I nodded.

We started walking.

"How's your life living in the Robles High." Baba asked. I couldn't help but chuckles.

"Everytime I went here, you ask the same question Baba." I chuckled and went closer to hug her. "I'm fine. You don't have to worry. Our family is living a happy life even sometimes they are busy to their work." I whispered.

"How's your mother? She always say she's fine everytime I asked her so instead I would ask to my beautiful granddaughter who can't lie to her Baba. So how's your mommy?" She asked worriedly.

Even though my mother is already at the age and having their own family baba always ask about her. And I realized that a mother it never ended when children having their own family. It never ended in that. A mother is always be a mother, how far you go, how many children you have, or how many grandchildren you have. A mother will always be a mother even in the last breath she still always remain a mother.

"She's really fine. She's living a happy and fullest life. Pura Vida." I uttered and that made Baba smile.

"Even my children are already have their own family. They starting their own journey and leaving us not really behind but jumping to their own fate I can't help but to worry and always be worry about them. A mother may hide a thousands frustration but I'm a mother, too. I am a mother first before they become a mother so I know everything. And... but when everyone is happy I couldn't pin point what's wrong because happiness could forget the thousands of pain." She said. I can't help but to appreciate everything. Being happy is what we really need.

"Then.. what's comes first baba happiness or love?"

"Happiness must come first. You have to be happy to yourself before you bring happiness to others and that happiness would transform into love. Because happiness wouldn't exist without love And love without happiness will never live." She answered.

"Then have you found someone? Like crush?" Baba teased and I laugh because she's acting like a kid...like a millennial.

"Why are you so excited baba? Hmm..."

"I'm not going any younger so that's why I should meet that boy you like so that I would remember him in my last breath."

"Don't talk about last breath baba. You have to wait for me... you have to walk me to aisle first before I walk you to the church." I whispered.

"You shouldn't be scared to death, Gabriella. A death is not a symbol of sadness but death is a place where you should after you already do your missions on earth. We can't be selfish and live here forever, our life is borrowed from above and that means our time is also borrowed. That's why you have to live your life to the fullest. Love to the fullest in my case I already did. I was only waiting for my time and your gramps is only waiting for me."

Death has no face that's why we are scared. We don't know what will happen after that. Only we know is we don't have to live the way how we live our life and we don't know if we will still exist in the other side. That's why its scary but when we look to God's promise... it's not scary at all.

"My birthday is coming... three months from now. I'll be sixty eight." She whispered.

"What gift you want me to buy, Baba?" I asked.

"Just be happy. That's a gift where you could give me and I could hold on to that even until my last breath." She whispered and I sighed when I heard the last breath. I know we can't escape death but I don't want to hear it right now to all my loved ones.

"My grandson and granddaughters happiness and success is what I want for gifts. Sebastian, even his not yet fully working he gave me a concert two tickets for me and for gramps but that's now what I want. I want him to live his life, again and be happy. A hope that a grandmother voice would melted his heart."

"But... I think maybe someone will come and change the way Sebastian is, Baba. It's just his mother hurt her. "

"Who hurt him is the only one who can comfort that pain. It can't be healed or fully erased but still it can help to sleep at night peacefully, honey..."

"Then, why does people cheat? They have already a perfect family then why did they cheat? I can't understand it Baba. You know that you bowed and promise you love her then in the next day, you already sleeping in the other bed with someone then why is that so? " I asked frustratedly because in my cases I will never cheat. I will never hurt someone. I will never break a family just because it makes me happy.

" There's a lot of shallow and weakness reasons. Your gramps cheated, too way back before. " Baba said and I stopped walking to look at he.

"Yes, you didn't expect it, right? How come that your grandfather loved me so much cheat with someone." She smile and continue walking. I still couldn't imagine it. I kissed baba's head while I pulled her closer to me and continue walking. That's the benefit of being a taller than baba.

"He was drunk that time. Maybe he got tempted to try it with other girls and see what it feels. I got mad ofcourse but I'm married to him. And I loved him so much. He asked and beg to forgive him but I couldn't give it to him right away. But whatever your husband do... when you see him beg and regret what he did my heart melted and hive him a chance. I want to work this marriage not only for my children but for ourselves because to be honest... I couldn't love someone else beside your Gramps. Maybe that's what your Tito Elias holding on to. I hope that Claire's heart would clear her messy heart and see what's the important thing in life is the fake diamond or the forever treasure." She said.

There's no sure for tomorrow and maybe today we must love harder than it were because we don't know what will happen for tomorrow. But thinking about love... and about that gay.

Does I love him or I just fond of him because he is not just an ordinary man I met?

"Thank you for coming here..." Baba whispered. I caress her wrinkled hands but still it was rhw softest of all.

"Your dad mention your distress." Baba added. I look at her and smile. "Don't worry too much just trust your father. No great man wants to ruin his family, remember that." She added. And I smile.