YOU WILL BE MY BANE

THE TRAGIC TALE OF UNCLE BRUTUS PART 2.

A.

Aunty Tutu looks at Berry and sighs. I see a familiar look on her face; the look you gave me when we had our first fight. It is anger laced with pain and sadness.

"Berry honey, I pray that you understand how dangerous these homosexuals are and maybe one day, you'd understand why I feel the way I feel about them.

"Now back to my story" Aunty Tutu says and sips her drink, her eyelids are twitching now. Her speech seems a little slurred.

"When Brutus saw the reemergence of those pesky symptoms, he didn't need to be told what was happening. He didn't need to see a doctor to know that he was definitely headed to the place where other men like him had gone.

"So it was, on that fateful Friday of January 1996, he went to Jane's place in Queens. She was married now with children and Brutus was definitely sure that her first boy looked like him. Brutus wrote that the boy had his eyes and his nose. He suspected that Jane was pregnant with his son when she broke up with him.

"He could not bring himself to ask her about the boy but it made him happy that a part of him remained with her. Jane had received him with happiness and pity. After the visit, she drove him back to his place.

"While in his house she tried to convince Brutus to see a doctor but Brutus refused. He said that he didn't need a doctor to confirm what he already knew. Jane knew that she might not see him again and so before she left, she told him that her first son was actually his.

"Brutus was happy, having a child to carry on with his legacy was something worthwhile.

B.

"By the end of 1996,Brutus was back in Nigeria. The first time Yemi saw him at the airport, he loved his uncle more than anything in the world. Although the action figures and the chocolates helped in forming the bond, the bond was unbreakable. He wouldn't sleep unless Brutus sang him to sleep. He wouldn't eat unless Brutus ate with him.

"Of course it didn't help that Brutus spoiled him by buying him anything he asked for.

"Brutus health was deteriorating faster than ever but he was still living his double life; bedding men and women. There were days he would lodge in hotels for days and would return home drunk and sicker. His symptoms appeared and disappeared like the seasons.

"People were talking and tongues were wagging.

"It was June of 2003 when Cecelia and my mother got a wife for him. They forced him to marry her, Olabisi, beautiful girl. At first Brutus had refused but my mother had threatened to take her life if he doesn't marry her...."

"Wait a minute...." Berry interrupts Aunty Tutu.

"You guys suspected he had AIDs and you still married a wife for him?" Berry asks, bemused.

"It wasn't public knowledge. Only a few people knew but many people suspected he was a no good homosexual" Aunty Tutu says distastefully.

"But you knew, your mother knew and you made him marry an innocent girl?" Berry fires.

"Oh please, the girl was poor beyond measure. Marrying Brutus saved her life and that of her family from penury" Aunty Tutu says.

"You should have seen how happy her family was. She was pregnant by December of that year and on the January of 2004, tragedy struck" Aunty Tutu says and takes a long sip from her cup.

Berry is livid. She has an incredulous look all over her face. She tries to talk but Aunty Tutu gives her a hard look and Berry swallows her words.

"What happened Aunty?" I ask.

"Brutus was caught with a man in the man's car. They were parked in an isolated place and the man's wife caught them. The man said Brutus was trying to r**e him. I mean why would he r**e a man? Something must be wrong with Brutus. The men in the area caught Brutus, they stripped him naked and they beat him until he died" Aunty Tutu says.

I suddenly remember Icarus. Is this what gay men do when they are caught with another man? They lie against their lovers when their back is pushed against the wall.

It dawns on me that I have more to fear from gays than from those who wish to harm gays.

"Wait Aunty Tutu, the married man wasn't shouting until his wife caught them? And how did she even know where he was?" Berry asks as a look of incredulity washes all over her face.

"Apparently she had been suspecting him that he was seeing another woman. She followed him. Maybe he was on his way to see that woman when Brutus caught up with him and tried to r**e him. Oh the shame that debacle brought upon my family. Yemi was hurt the most. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. He just cried all day. He was unconsolable" Aunty Tutu says and opens another bottle of champagne.

"Aunty Tutu, did it ever occur to you guys that Brutus was the one the man had been sneaking out to see? Maybe they were lovers and the man lied to save face?" Berry asks.

'Oh please, the man couldn't have been gay. He was the cathechist. He was a man of God. He was destroyed after Brutus tried to r**e him. Poor man, he became a shadow of his own self. He withdrew from everyone. He came to Brutus's grave several nights and prayed for his godforsaken soul and then two months later, he took his own life" Aunty Tutu says and empties an entire cup into her mouth. She pouts her lips and relaxes on her seat.

"It was a horrible tragedy" She adds.

"The Catechist came to Brutus's grave for a while before killing himself? Sounds to me like he was missing his lover and he hated himself for what he did to him" Berry says and looks at me.

"What are you talking about this girl?" Aunty Tutu asks and rolls her eyes.

"The Catechist, he was probably feeling sad about betraying his lover, maybe that was why he took his own life" Berry says and looks at me.

"He had a wife and five children, five children. He couldn't have been gay Berry" Aunty Tutu says.

"Aunty Tutu, it doesn't work like that. Many people are good at hiding these things so that they don't get judged or worse, killed" Berry says.

"Nate, help me tell Aunty Tutu that the Catechist could be gay" Berry says and they all look at me.

My self preservation instincts kick in. I swallow hard and I stutter.

"Well, Berry, I think Aunty Tutu could be right. There's no way he could be gay. He was a Catechist, he taught children the ways of God" I say and look away.

"Oh my goodness, you are as homophobic as your friend Yemi, gee, you know what? f**k you Nate. I thought you were different" Berry says and frowns at me.

I am different Berry, even more different than you think. But I have to protect myself. Uncle Brutus died more than eighteen years ago but he is still being hated on by his family. He is still the outcast, the shame of the family.

I can't hurt my father like this.

"No Aunty Tutu, Brutus didn't bring shame to your family, he committed a******y yeah, but he didn't r**e anyone" Berry argues with Aunty Tutu.

"Twist it anyway you want but don't ever argue this with Yemi or he will hate you forever. He said he was going to marry you but if you are a gay sympathizer, who knows what other immoral behavior you can condone" Aunty Tutu say and sips her drink.

Suddenly, the dining room becomes unbearably hot. The two Air-conditioners in the room seem not to cool my nerves.

"Oh, I have my values and if he can't respect them, then he can go to hell, Aunty. Besides who says I want to marry him?" Berry replies Aunty Tutu.

"I have to get some fresh air" I say and stand.

"You might as well take a s**t, I don't care" Berry says to me and continues her argument with Aunty Tutu.

I walk towards the door and I see a glowing object on the floor. I move closer, it is your watch. It might have fallen off when you stormed out of the room.

I pick it up and wear it on my right hand. It feels as if you are hugging me, as if your arms are wrapped around my arm. The metal feels cold to my skin but the sentiments seeping from it's atoms bring warmth to my troubled soul.

I pass through the throng of people inside the throne-like living room and I burst outside.

C.

The fresh air does little to calm my nerves. I walk to the barbeque stand and I sit.

People ridiculously dressed up in Greek attires are waltzing up and down the magnificent compound.

I wonder where you are, I wonder if you are still mad at your mother.

"Oh my God! You are the perfect Hermes. Wait, let me take picture, Yeah! I like what that Tunic did to your ass" Diana says and walks towards me.

I heave a sigh and force a smile.

I'm sitting girl, how are you seeing my ass?

"Hey Diana, how is it going?" I ask.

"It's cool. Yemi is hugging mom and they are apologizing to each other. Gee, they are like characters from a soap opera. So dramatic. Can I sit near you?" She asks, pointing at an empty seat.

"Uh...um." I stutter, my mind still racing from the Uncle Brutus's sad tale.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes" she sits besides me and looks at me.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Gabriel Maddox from How To Get Away with Murder?" She asks and looks at me dreamily.

"Maddox who?" I ask.

"You know, Sam's son. Analise Keating? Viola Davis?" She asks and I wave my head.

"I don't know who that is" I say.

"Oh, fine. Hey look, there's uncle Brutus's wife and son" she says and points at a tall boy holding an older woman's hand as he leads her to the house.

"The son from America?" I ask.

"No, the one he had with the wife his mother found for him" she says.

"Wow, for someone with HIV, he looks healthy and who is the woman with him?" I ask her.

"That's his mother. They don't have HIV" Diana says. "Who told you that?" She asks askance.

"But Aunty Tutu said that Brutus had AIDS when he came back from America" I say.

"Well, yeah but his son isn't positive" Diana says and gets closer to me.

"Oh my, you even have his puzzled look face" Diana gushes.

"Who?" I ask.

"Gabriel Maddox, you have his puzzled dreamy eyes" she says and draws even closer.

I stand up.

"Diana, doesn't it seem weird that Brutus's son is negative when his father was postive? Are you sure he is negative?" I ask her.

"I went with him during the last World AIDS day and we both got tested. We are negative, his mother too"Diana says and stands. She walks towards me, smiling and giggling.

"I have to go inside. I need to eat" I say and I turn towards the entrance to the living room.

"I will come with you" she says and runs after me.

I get to the dining room and You are already there. Your mother is dishing out food for you.

"I have removed his pictures, I promise, we won't talk about him again, okay?" Your mother tells you and you nod like a five year old being promised ice cream.

"Mom, you don't have to do that. He's your brother, even though he brought shame to this noble family" you say.

"Hey Nate, where did you go to?" You ask looking at me.

"I went to clear my head" I tell you and I sit besides you.

"Umm, I met Uncle Brutus's son" I tell you and your mother drops the laddle she is using to dish out Ugba. She looks at Aunty Tutu and asks, "You just can't keep your mouth shut, can you?"

Aunty Tutu signals to me to stop talking. I ignore her.

"Is he really his son?" I ask you.

"How did you know about him and why are you asking?" You ask me.

"Just answer me Yemi" I tell you.

"Yes he's uncle Brubru's son. My grandma had a paternity test done when Uncle Brutus died" you say with a frown on your face.

"Berry, what's the possibility of a positive man having a negative baby without medical intervention?" I tap Berry above your shouler and whisper to her.

"You think Brutus didn't get AIDS in America?" Berry asks me and I nod.

"I just saw the wife and the son. Diana said she saw the son get tested and he is negative. What's the chances that he was negative? What are the chances?" I ask Berry.

"Oh well, I guess we'd never know. He's dead now" Berry says and resumes eating.

I look at you, you are frowning.

"Nate, can we stop talking about him?" You say and look at Aunty Tutu.

"Aunty Tutu, did you tell another outsider about our family's shame?" You ask aunty Tutu.

"Tutu, you need to stop doing that, stop airing our laundry in the open" Your mother says and walks out.

"Oh please, they wanted to know. They asked" Aunty Tutu says and stands.

"I think I should go lay down for a bit, I feel a little woozy. I wonder why" Aunty Tutu says and walks out.

I look at your face and I heave a sigh.

I should tell you that your basis for hating gays makes no sense.

Was it because Brutus was a man w***e? That was a personal choice that he made. Was it because he cheated on his wife with another man? That was a personal choice he made because society would judge him if he actually decided to marry a man.

You can't bring yourself to accept that the uncle you loved very much was gay and was killed by those who feared what they don't understand.

You had to heal by hating gays. He hurt you, so you hate gays and wish to hurt them back. That's just crazy Yemi.

"How's the African Salad?" You ask Berry and she shrugs.

"Meh" she says.

"You are angry, why are you angry?" You ask Berry.

"I'm not angry" she says and resumes eating.

"You are angry Berry, I know you" You say.

"Well answer this; all the years we have been dating and you've been hating on gays, I begged you to help me defend a friend who was arrested at a party and charged with engaging in homosexual practices, you refused and said he deserved what he got" Berry says angrily.

"Yeah, so? That happened two years ago why bring it up now?" You say casually.

"Well I just spent the better part of the night learning that your favorite uncle was a w***e, a man w***e in the eighties. He came back to Nigeria and continued and it got him killed. My friend and his boy friend were arrested in their hotel room and I asked you to help defend them and you refused. Just how hypocritical was that?" Berry fires at you.

"Aunty Tutu should not be allowed to drink at family functions" You say.

"That's all you can say? You know Yemi, one would think that you would be a social crusader for gays after your favorite uncle was killed for being with a man. Yes he committed a******y but he never r***d that man and last I checked, death is not the punishment for a******y" Berry says.

"Oh please Berry, do not presume to know what happened. He was my uncle, mom said he was normal until he left for America and was Infected with the gay disease and I don't mean HIV. They made him want men and destroyed his psyche" you rave.

"It doesn't work like that Yemi, it's not some disease that you can transfer from person to person. Sexuality is a spectrum. Some swing from one end to the other while some maintain a certain end. You claim to be so wise, so smart but you are the most ignorant person I have ever seen" Berry says and resumes eating her food.

"You know what? Let's not let a dead man ruin our night or bring trouble between us. Let's just eat, have a good night and go" You say.

"Yeah sure. Let's do that.I hope one day you will heal from the pain of losing him and face reality. Hating a group of people because of some sad experience you had when you were little or because you are scared that they might infect you isn't healthy. Heal Yemi, heal" Berry says and sips her juice.

"Oh Berry, enough. I am not scared of them. I pity them, they are mentally f****d up, they need help. And like all sick people, I think they deserve to be in a hospital, not out here infecting more people" Yemi says.

"Oh, yeah, keep telling yourself that your uncle was 'Infected' in America. Maybe that will help you sleep well at night" Berry muses.

"Oh come on Berry. What do you want me to do now? Go and start sleeping with gays?" You ask exasperated.

"Do you want to?" Berry asks and my ears itch.

"What? No! That's disgusting."

You say and I swallow hard.

"Then let them be. They are not hurting you and they're not gonna try to r**e you" Berry says.

"Oh please, Uncle Brubru r***d a Catechist and a boy some months back tried to r**e Emeka Uwa, the Lekki Socialite" you say and I remember Icarus.

He is now being referred to as 'some boy'. My heart starts to beat faster. Is that how I will be remembered one day? 'Some boy'.

'Some boy was irrevocably in love with his co-worker' I shudder at the thought.

"You have to get over this childhood bubble you've created. I understand that you loved him so much. From the way your father is strict, I think you might have even seen him as a loving father figure. Yes he was gay but he didn't love you any less and from the story Aunty Tutu told us this evening, I don't think he r***d that Catechist" Berry tells you and you roll your eyes.

"Yeah sure, the man killed himself two months later because he was happy that he was r***d by a man right?" You ask Berry.

"No! No! He killed himself because he was sad for betraying Brutus. He loved Brutus. Can't you see that?" Berry asks.

"Nate, what do you think about this?" You ask me and I almost choke on my meat.

"Are you alright?" Diana asks me as she pats me gently on the back.

"Do you need a heimlich maneuver? I can give you that" Diana says and I drink juice. She stands and goes behind me. She climbs a seat and extends her arms.

"Stand up you sexy thing, let me give you the heimlich" Diana purrs.

"No!" I almost scream.

"I'm fine. I'm fine" I say.

"It's getting late. I think we should start going" You say.

"Yes, yes" I say and Berry laughs.

"You two fit each other. Bunch of selfish homophobes" Berry says and stands up.

We say goodbye to your mom.

"Aww he's so cute Nate, bring him around for Christmas dinner. Cousin Jumoke will be here. She is eligible for marriage and he is just too sweet looking" your mother says and touches my nose. I swallow hard.

The drive back home is done in silence.

For some reason I can't understand, Berry is frowing at me. She insists we drop her first.

"Good night Yemi. Goodnight Nathaniel" she says and leaves. I don't know why but I seem to get the feeling that whatever secret we had going between I and her, has ended tonight.

Twenty minutes later you are dropping me off in front of Uncle Ekene's estate.

"I'm sorry you had to sit through Aunty Tutu's harrowing tale" you tell me.

"It's okay. I feel like I know you more now" I say and You laugh.

"I'm glad you now understand what a menance these homosexuals are to our society. It's a plague, you will be surprised to know how many people out there that are indulging in this nonsense. I'm glad that at least I know one person who is on the straight and narrow" you say.

"Who is that?" I ask You, bemused.

"You of course. Silly, who else did you think I was talking about? Good night Nate" You say and You drive off. I stand there staring at You, my anxiety mounts.

I know that I should hate you now. This is the point where any other person would hate you. But then I check my hand and I see your watch and my heart skips a beat.

I touch the watch and rub it a little.

Fuck, I'm still smitten.