YOU WILL BE MY BANE

BLACK BERRY

A.

I have always wondered how going to the dark side would feel and now I might have just had a taste.

If this is what revenge feels like then those who opined that one should dig two graves before embarking on it were just horny geeks who needed to get laid.

I look at Berry as she starts to dress up.

"Where have you been hiding all this while boy?" She asks with a smile and I smile shyly.

I stand and I begin to dress up.

"See, emm. I actually came here to beg you to forgive Yemi" I say, finding my voice. Who knew that it would take two intense sessions of lovemaking to loosen my tongue.

"Forgive Yemi? Oh dear, I loved Yemi and the s*x with him was out of this world but now that I have discovered that I can get the s*x from you, f**k him!" Berry says and growls like a tigress.

Uhuh...

"Please, he mustn't know about what happened here. Please" I beg Berry.

"Well, I will forgive him if you agree that whenever I call you, you'd come running"

She says and I swallow hard.

"Me? What's special about me? He is Yemi. He is the guy most guys wish to be and the prayer point of several ladies" I say.

"Oh dear, the fact that you don't know how sweet you are makes me want to taste you again and Lord knows I've got a sweet tooth" she says and touches my nose.

The nose touching gesture now makes much sense.

"He must really trust you to have sent you here, he really is possessive" she says and walks to the fridge.

"Juice?" She asks and I nod.

"I think he trusts me and I have broken that trust. I have broken the Bro Code" I tell Berry.

"He will be angry if he finds out what happened here today Berry, please don't tell him" I beg as I walk towards her.

I take the juice from her as she looks at me and grins like a high school girl who was kissed for the first time.

Have her breasts been that big? Will they be softer now if I touch them again? I shake my head and sit on the dining chair. I think about you, I wish it were you that I worked up all these sweat with.

"Go and tell him that I have forgiven him, I'm writing my IELTS exam and when I pass it and get out of this country, I will dump his ass but until then, I will have the both of you whenever I want" Berry says as a dark smile races across her beautiful face.

I meet you outside the estate fifteen minutes later.

"You were there longer, I went to the Mr. Bigs in Eche road and I killed time there. I'm surprised that when I came back, you were still inside" you tell me.

"She's Berry, she insisted I eat and all that. You can't say no to a Doctor" I tell You and You smile.

"Yeah, that's my good girl. Did you tell her that I'm really sorry, that I'm a good person?" You ask me and I nod.

"Yeah, she says that she will forgive you but she needs time" I say and you nod your head.

"I like this girl, I think I'm going to marry her" You say and I cough.

"You alright man?" You ask.

"Yeah" I say and breathe in slowly to steady myself.

The drive back to the firm is a silent one. I eat the takeaway you brought back from Mr. Biggs.

"I thought you said you ate at Berry's place" You ask me as I devour the chicken and fried rice.

"Yeah, but I'm a foodie" I tell You and You smile.

"Well, I think that's another thing we have in common. I'm a foodie too" You say and I smile.

Oh Yemi, we have more things in common than you know. We have Berry in common.

We get back to the firm and You thank me again. You go back to your office and I go to my cubicle.

I go down to the filing room to pick up a file. I come back to my cubicle and I look towards your office. You are on call and a big smile decorates your face.

I sit at my cubicle and read the case files Barrister Wale asked me to read.

The day drones on and evening comes. You come out with your bag.

"Hey Nate, you going yet?" You ask.

"Nah, Barrister Wale asked me to go through a few case files in preparation for court on Thursday" I tell You.

"Alright, I am grateful man. Berry called me. I'm going to see her now. I could drop you off at home" You offer with an adoring smile.

"Oh no, I'm trying to catch up on these" I say, wiggling the case files in the air.

"Alright, see you tomorrow bro" You say and shake me. I feel the warmth of your palms embracing mine. A guilty pin pricks my gut.

I betrayed you, I broke the most Important Bro Code. I slept with the woman you love. It wasn't supposed to feel good but it did. I wasn't supposed to like it but I did.

I am now as confused as ever, I want you but I enjoyed your girlfriend earlier today. I want to tell you how I feel about you but I don't know how I will explain it to you.

'Oh I'm attracted to you Yemi but I occasionally bang girls and I like it too',

Who is that confused in life?

You go home and I stay behind for another hour. I remember that I left my clothes in your car and I sigh.

I get home and Uncle Ekene has seized his son's phone. He is still angry from the comedy skit the poor boy shot while wearing female clothes.

I go to work the next day and on the way I drop the clothes you lent me with the laundry man. I get to work and you are not here yet.

I continue reading the case files.

After about an hour, the elevator dings and you walk in. As usual, your cologne permeates the entire atmosphere and I breathe in slowly. You walk towards me with a disarming smile on your face.

"Hey Nate, how you doing?" You ask as you shake me.

"I'm fine" I say.

"About your clothes, I will get them back from the dry cleaners tonight and I will bring them tomorrow" I say.

"Oh please, keep them Bro" you say.

"Come later to my office let's talk about the Coker case, I stayed up late last night and I got another idea" You say and I nod. You go to your office and I go back to reading the case files.

Occasionally, I look at your office. Your face is buried in the laptop in front of you.

The elevator dings and Berry steps out. She has a dark and naughty look on her face. She saunters towards me like a predator that just sighted a helpless prey.

"Hey Sugarbear" she says and touches my nose. Her purple scrubs fighting to conceal her bosom.

"Hey Berry" I whisper. She winks at me and licks her lips. I get flashes of the previous afternoon and my heart skips a beat.

"Ummm Berry, please don't. Yemi is a few feet away" I implore.

"Who cares about what Yemi will do? I want you sugar. I told you, I've got a sweet tooth" she says and touches my nose again.

"I thought you love him?" I whisper.

Berry chuckles, "Oh Nate darling, what's love got to do with it? He cheated on me. Besides, you can love someone and still do things that pleases you. Yemi did that with my cousin after professing love to me several times. I will see you this weekend" she says and walks towards your office.

I now understand that you and Berry are perfect for each other. You both have a warped perception of love but then again, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

She wants to see me by weekend and Tope wants to see me on the same day.

How did my life get to this? When I did I become such a man hoe who does everything I am being told to do?

B.

Saturday comes and you wake me in the morning to come to the gym with you. I tell you that I am having family time with Uncle Ekene. You sigh, "Alright, next Saturday then" you say.

"You got it" I reply and I resume kissing Berry.

She tells me to give her more sugar and I do.

I wish I can stop this Yemi, I wish I didn't betray you like this. She threatened to tell you if I don't come to her. So I had branched off to her house after work on Friday and we spent the whole night together.

She had asked me not to worry about you coming over because she told you that she would be at work.

Well she is at work alright, at work on my body Yemi and it's not a medical consultation.

I am doing this for you Yemi, for us. At least that is what I tell myself each time I betray you.

I go to the Falz's show with Tope in the evening and you call me to come drink with you.

"I'm at a date with Tope" I tell you.

"Okay, that's great bro. You should have fun" you say. You sound proud of me.

Yemi, I should be having the best of times. Every 'normal' guy out there will kill to be in my shoes right now.

I am out in the city with a pretty girl who has her hands all over me but all I can think about is you; the way you squeeze your eyelids when you laugh, the way you pout your lips when you are in deep thought, the way you tilt your head each time you hear a joke and the feeling the sight of you evokes in me, dominate my mind.

Sunday comes and I don't hear from you. Perhaps you are tired of me. Maybe you feel like I won't come if you call.

Monday comes and I come to work and you are here.

"Good morning Dougie" I greet and you laugh boisterously.

"Dougie?" You ask and I nod.

"It's an abbreviation for your name, Douglas" I tell you.

Dougie is my pet name for you. All the sketches of you that I made, especially ones where you are dressed up like a superhero are named Dougie. Super Dougie.

"Are you angry? You hate it?" I ask and you laugh again.

"No, no. It's all cool bro. It's just that my friend Sammie calls me that. Crazy guy" You say and your eyes go to the picture of you and the two guys on your desk.

Sammie? Who is he? He makes you happy. I feel jealousy well up in me and I swallow hard.

"Who is Sammie ?" I ask.

"Sammie, One of my best buds. He is doing his master's in the UK" You say and I nod.

You look at him again and breathe out. There is a story there and I know there is. Should I ask you? Will you tell me?.

"We have a meeting in the conference room by 8;40AM" I say, changing the subject.

"Yeah, that's why I came early" You say.

We chat about the weather, about the corruption in the country, about the increasing rate of ritual murders in the state and the Emenike case; a boy who allegedly tried to kill his mother for ritual sacrifice.

8;40AM comes and we walk to the conference room together.

Every moment I spend with you, I fall harder for you. One would think that by now I would have told you how I felt but I can't.

What if you hate me? What if I tell you and it ruins things between us forever? What if You don't see me in that light? And the most dreaded question; what if you actually hate gays?.

The meeting begins and I watch you speak, gesticulating and quoting cases. I can listen to you speak all day Yemi. I begin to day dream about Berry, you and me.

We are in a cabin facing a beach. We do nothing all day but sun ourselves and have mind blowing, blanket grabbing and toe curling s*x on the sands at night.

The cold night air bathes us with it's freedom and the moon bears witness to our union. It doesn't take long for me to remove Berry from the equation. It's just you and I now, lost to our senses, freed from our inhibitions, lost to each other's dark callings.

"So, Barrister Nate, bring us to speed on the Emenike case" a voice calls but I'm too lost in thought to answer.

"Barrister Nate? Nate!!" The voice calls again and again. The annoying pretty lady sitting close to me taps my chest and I am back to reality.

I stand up and I give my presentation. I occasionally look at your face, you smile and nod, urging me on.

The meeting ends and everyone leaves.

I sit at my desk and try to write up an opening argument. Barrister Wale says I should write one. He wants me to lead the case between Emenike and his mother whom he had tried to kill for ritual sacrifice.

The air smells lovelier as you draw closer to me.

"Hey Nate, emmm. Are you doing anything on the last Saturday of November?" You ask.

"No, not really" I tell you and you nod. "Okay, it's my mom's birthday and she asked me to invite three of my friends, I'm inviting just you and Berry. So remember it" You say.

"Of course bro. I will be there" I say and you smile.

Work becomes fun. We go to lunch at Mr. Biggs most afternoons. We talk at length when we are free and we drive to the court house together during court days.

Berry occasionally calls me to come give her some sugar and I do so. I have to bribe her with my body so that she doesn't ruin what I have with you.

Uhuh, the price we pay for love!

I am closer to you now more than I have ever been before. We go to the gym on Saturdays and we hang out with Berry on Sundays.

On days that we hit the club, you will tell Berry that we are playing games in your house and Berry asks me if you are telling the truth and I tell her yes.

What does it matter if I lie to her? I am already betraying you by giving her sugar each time she asks.

I have to tell you how I feel, I definitely have to. I mean, you have been so nice to me, and after all these months, if these feelings that I have for you haven't died down. That means only one thing; I am love with you. But each time I try to tell you, I remember Icarus and my courage fails.

What if You really hate gays? What if You react badly to my confession and I end up getting killed?

I shudder at the thought.

C.

Days pass.

Weeks pass.

A month passes, two months and the saturday comes. Your mother's birthday party.

I wake up early to help Aunty Ifeoma who is now pregnant, kill three large catfishes she had bought from the market the previous day.

A few weeks ago I overheard her and her husband talk about how happy they were with her pregnancy.

"At least if Jide decides to embarrass himself and become a shame to this family, we have another child who is normal" Uncle Ekene had said.

I felt sad. Jide had just worn female clothes to make a comedy skit. He didn't hurt anyone, he didn't sleep with anyone and he didn't even indicate interest in the same s*x and they treat him like this.

What will happen if they find out about what I feel for you? What will happen if they find out about the things that I have done to sustain my friendship with you?

My phone rings as I slice the last cat fish. It is you calling- speak of the devil.

"Hey Nate!" You say, "You know that it's a costume party right?" You ask.

"Oh, I didn't know" I tell you.

"Really? I thought I told you!" You say. "Well, it's a Greek themed party. How well do you know your Greek mythology?" You ask me.

"My philosophy professor in second year made me read about the Olympians when I argued with him in class, I think I still remember a little but I didn't read Homer's tale" I tell you.

"Well, there is no time to read Homer's account. Just come over and we will find something together, Berry is going as Aphrodite" You say happily.

Three hours later I am in your house. Berry hugs me tightly.

"Oh Nate, it's been a while we saw last" she lies.

I saw her yesterday Yemi, and we made love all night. I thought about you all through.

She is becoming a habit I can't kick. A sugar addiction that gives an amazing sugar rush but leaves me weakened at the end.

"We got you the perfect costume. Yemi tells me that you have been hitting the gym with him and you have stacked up some abs" she says and I give her the 'You saw my abs yesterday' look and she laughs.

She goes into the room and she brings out a golden helmet with feathers attached to lightning shaped metals at both sides of the head, a pair of sandals with feathers at the heels and a white loose tunic with golden rings as a neck.

"Alright, try these on bro" You say and Berry throws them to me.

"Where did you get these?" I ask.

"Shoprite?" You say.

"I gotta go get dressed. My mom will scream all through the party if I'm late" You say and enter the bedroom. Berry blows me a kiss and joins you. I heave a sigh and shake my head.

I'm in hot soup.

I dress up, taking care to don the unnatural attire. The tunic is short. It runs across my abdomen like a snake originating from one part of my waist and ends around my neck with a golden ring.

A large golden belt acts as my belt, fastening the flowing tunic to my waist and forcing it to take my shape.

I look at myself in the mirror opposite the kitchen door.

"Wow, you make a better Hermes than I do, if I had a caduceus, you might even pass as the messenger of the gods himself" You say as you walk into the living room with Berry.

I open my mouth in surprise and forget to close it.

Berry wears a sea blue flowing dress with a flower wreath on her long black hair. She walks towards me with cat-like dexterity and smiles darkly.

I look up at you and I swallow hard. You wear a short tunic, tied to your left shoulder with golden clips. A shiny golden belt runs round your waist and a flower wreath sits comfortably on your head.

A shiny sword hangs freely on your belt. It's hilt decorated with pictures of thunder bolts.

You look at me and smile. I am bedazzled.

"Do I make a perfect Zeus or what?" You ask as you place your medieval sandals on the table. I smile.

"Oh honey, Zeus would be glad if he had your splendor" Berry tells you and you kiss her passionately. Tongue, teeth and all.

I gaze upon you and your lover as you stand in majestic awe. Lips locked and errant fingers itching to go to places that shouldn't be attempted in public.

You kiss her again and she tilts her head back and places her left palm on your chest like a fairytale princess kissing her prince charming.

I clear my throat, nothing happens.

I clear my throat again, nothing happens.

I clear my throat the third time and you disengage from her slowly with your eyes still locked with hers.

"Yeah right, we should go. We are running late" you say as you head towards the door with an air of power and authority surrounding you.

"You can blink now" Berry whispers into my ears as she walks past me and heads for the door.

One hour later we are parked in front of a magnificent duplex. Several cars are parked in a semi circle around the house.

"Welcome to Chateau de la Cecelia" You say.

"Wow, nice crib bro" I tell you, amazed.

"It's my dad's house, tell him that when you see him. Come on, we gotta go. Let's go see my mom and let her embarrass me as usual" You say and we alight from the car.

"I know that I have been here before but this house never fails to take my breath away each time" Berry says as she takes your hand in hers.

"Well it is a 3-D building, it is meant to take your breath away and the way you have been adoring this building, should I be jealous?" You ask and Berry laughs and looks at me. I swallow hard.

The building is shaped like an anachronistic rectangular 17th century chateau with four turrets crowning the structure like a rectangular headband.

People are crowded near a large swimming pool by the left. A high tempo music plays, a few girls are tweaking laboriously. Their Greek costumes look ridiculous. Wait, is that girl supposed to be Athena?

We enter the house and my breath is further taken away.

The living room is so large that it can pass for a throne room. Low hanging chandeliers light up the entire space.

Your mother is talking with a clique of awkwardly dressed individuals with their glasses sitting circumspectly on their noses and their heads moving forward like those of bats trying to see in day time.

Most of the males wore ordinary soutain with a few flower petals on their heads. Their footwears comprise of brown 'Betula' sandals and open-toes shoes.

Their females wore different flowing dresses with large belts of various colors around their upper abdomens holding the gowns to their oversized bodies.

Your mother sights you and runs towards us.

She is wonderfully dressed. She wears an immaculate flowing dress tied to her left shoulder blade. Her pointy crown is made of golden bars, with the tallest bar being in the middle with subsequent bars on it's sides reducing in Length. She looks like a queen who just stepped off her throne.

"She thinks she's Hera, queen of Olympus" You whisper to Berry.

"Well, I think she looks amazing" Berry whispers back.

Her gown is sewn in such a way that it clings only to her breast and flows freely from the diaphragm.

"Oh my Yum-yum" she hugs you and kisses you on your cheek.

"Mom!" You whine and try to wiggle away from her grasp.

"Oh Berry honey, welcome" she kisses Berry.

"Happy birthday mom, I brought you this" Berry says and hands your mom a perfectly wrapped gift that looks like a wrapped Iphone box.

Your mother weighs it and looks at Berry's face Intently.

"Oh no you didn't" You mother gasps.

"Oh yes I did. My cousin was coming back from the UK and I asked her to get it. It's even more water resistant than we thought. That's what I'm wearing right now" Berry says and shows your mother her nails and your mother squeals.

I didn't even remember that we are supposed to get gifts. I hide behind you awkwardly, praying she doesn't see me.

"Yum-yum, who is your boyfriend?" Your mother asks and I stop breathing.

"Mom! He's not my boyfriend, he's my friend" you say.

"But he's a boy!" Your mom says.

"Yeah but don't call him my boyfriend, it sounds sexualized" you say and your mom laughs.

"Oh Yemi, you are very funny" your mother says.

"Good evening ma'am, I'm Nate" I greet her and she touches my cheek.

"Good evening my boy. Such a handsome lad. Are you the Nate that Yemi told me saved him from the brink of addiction?" Your mother asks.

You roll your eyes. Your cheek look flushed.

"Mom! I told you that in confidence" You whine and she smiles.

"Now come on, your father is in the main dinning room, let's go to the second room, Efe will bring food for you lots" she says and makes to lead the way.

You smile and look around, "you redecorated mom" You say.

"Yeah" she says jubilantly.

We get to the second dinning room and I'm lost for words. The glass tables and chairs look unnecessarily expensive.

The cutleries are already set on the table.

You pull out a chair for Berry and she sits, she looks at me and smiles.

"Are those black berries in the fruit basket?" She asks and your mother nods.

"Nate, you said you like black berries right?" Berry asks and takes a berry in her hand. She rubs it a little with her index finger and she suckles on it.

I look away and look at your face.

You look around and you stop. You frown.

My heart freezes, are you suspicious of me and Berry?.

"Why is his picture out?" You ask pointing at the picture of a lanky handsome man with a dubious smile.

"He is my twin brother and just because he is dead doesn't mean that it is not his birthday too" Your mother says.

"He is not your brother mom, he was a f*****g faggot that got what was coming for him. Stop treating him like a victim, he was a selfish, egotistical, Self-deluded faggot who brought nothing but shame to himself and his family" You rave.

I look at your left hand, it is shaking. Your gold watch's metallic handle is rattling.

Your mother slaps you.

"How dare you talk about my brother like that?" She scolds you. Tears drip from her eyes.

"Your brother died the first day he was b***h enough to let a man screw him!" You say and you walk out.

Your mother slides into a glass chair and places her head on her hands.

"Are you alright Ma?" Berry asks her.

Your mother nods.

"I'm fine. It's Yemi I'm worried about. I didn't know that this picture will trigger him. God! He still hasn't forgiven Brutus" She weeps.