YOU WILL BE MY BANE

THE ULTIMATUM

A

Every story has a beginning, a middle and an amazing twist which all lead to an explosive build up. But our story is devoid of such antics.

This is reality Yemi and reality sucks big time.

I am like a lovestruck author hopelessly writing the psychological thriller of our love story. Each chapter is filled with the grueling account of how I yearn and burn for you while you pretend that I don't exist.

The entire plot is about how my heart is like a battle field where you discharge every ammunition known to man but pretend that you don't see the radiation left behind or the damage done.

Every story has a hero and a villain, and if we are the only characters in this story, which am I? The hero or the villain?.

You told your sister that I am poor Yemi. You broke shamed me. My heart has not even recovered from Sarah's venomous kiss and you stab me in the back with your traitorous words.

I go home and I slump onto the couch. I lie down and my mind is blank as I stare at the sixty inches television opposite me.

Well, if I was looking for a reason to hate you, I have found one. I run upstairs and unlock the third drawer on my dresser.

I see Icarus's cracked spectacles staring at me. I throw your watch down besides the bloody glasses.

Yay! I now collect mementos of people I like but can never be with. How did my life get this dark so fast?.

I don't eat, I don't bathe and I fall on to my bed.

Sami is the person I hate most in the world. I try to think of a fault, something bad about him that I could have used as a retort but there is none.

Sami would have been a perfect creature if not for his rotten attitude and spoilt-brat mentality.

I fall asleep and I wake up very early. I don't go to church again. Everything feels worse, I am mad at Joan Snow, I am mad at the door which refuses to open quickly, I am mad at the gas stove which doesn't boil food faster than I want, I am mad at the world and yes Yemi, I am mad at you.

I feed Joan Snow and I go back to my room. I sleep all day until evening when I go downstairs to feed Joan Snow again and take a couple of fruits from the fridge.

I finish the basket of fruits containing three apples, one guava and a carrot.

B.

I sleep again, forcing myself to forget you exist and when my traitorous heart tries to feel you, I remind it of the cruel things you told your sister about me.

I have spent my new year day alone, wondering if my traitorous heart really hates you or not.

I wake up in the morning with a start. I am sure that I had a horrible dream but I can't remember what the dream is about.

I rush to take a shower. I know that I think I hate you now but a part of me really wants to see you at work.

I feed Joan Snow, grab a few spoonfuls of cereal and I dash out for work.

No Yemi, I am not longing to see you, well not as much as I was before.

I get to work and you are not here.

I settle down on my cubicle and begin to read through a case file Barrister Nuru emailed me before the Christmas break.

"Oh my gosh Nate, Happy New year" Tope greets me, beaming with smiles as she approaches my cubicle with Larry.

"Happy new year dear" I say with a straight face.

"You didn't come to the end of the year dinner party at Chelsea hotel?" Larry asks.

"Something came up, a family emergency" I say.

"Oh well, I hope everything is okay now. We missed you at the party, it was sort of boring" Tope says and gives Larry a naughty look.

"Well, it got Interesting towards the end" Larry says with a dark dirty smile racing across his face.

I don't need a soothsayer to tell me that they fornicated on Jesus's birthday.

"Catch you later, we need to get a file in the filing room" Tope says as she drags Larry towards the filing room.

"Have fun" I call after them but they are already gone. Good Lord, it's the beginning of a new year, people!

After a few minutes past ten, the elevator dings and opens.

You walk out, no, you stagger out of the elevator.

You are putting on dark shades indoors, your black body hug shirt makes you look like an alluring candy snack, looking for someone to tear off the seal and take an enormous bite. I look at your face, you look tired and sleepy.

Before the elevator closes, Sami steps out. He wears a blue suit with white inner shirt and a blue inner vest. He looks so smart that you will never believe that he was the annoying godforsaken piece of s**t that said those mean words to me a few days ago.

"Hey Nate, how are you doing?" You ask me as you approach my cubicle.

I look at your face, however hungover you are, your face still looks radiant but sleepy.

Look at what they are making you do Yemi. They are bringing out the worst in you.

"I'm fine. Happy new year" I say and I shake your hand. I try to shake Sami and he moves back.

"Ummm.....I don't shake people" Sami says.

"Don't mind him Nate, it's not about you. Sami here has severe OCD" you say and you walk towards your office. Sami follows you;

"Ah well, give the peasant my entire medical history" Sami says.

"Don't call him that Sami" you say and he grunts. He enters your office and shuts the door.

Peasant? Lord knows just how much I hate that boy.

The elevator dings again and Berry steps out.

"Hey Nate" she says and walks past me.

"Um Berry?" I call and she stops and turns dramatically.

"Can I help you boy?" She asks.

I walk towards her and whisper.

"I'm glad that we are not sneaking around again but I seem to get the vibe that you are not happy with me" I tell her.

"Yeah, I thought you were smart, civilized and sweet. I misjudged you" she says.

"What did I do?" I ask.

"You are a f*****g homophobe" she snaps.

"What? I'm not!" I say.

She cackles like a witch. "Oh please, let me guess, you have friends who are gay?" She says and cackles again.

"No, but I understand what they feel. I'm not a homophobe" I tell her.

"Oh please, you wouldn't know jackshit about what they feel" she says.

"If you hate homophobes this much, why are you dating one?" I ask her.

"Because I didn't realize he was one before I fell in love with him" she says and her face looks like someone who just came to a horrible realization. Does she not know that she loves you?

Can one love another without knowing fully?

Was she sleeping with me to make you jealous? Does that mean that she will tell you?

Why else would she sleep with me if not to provoke you?

Oh no, damn it!. Why is my life spiraling out of control?

"I actually thought that you are a good person Nate, turns out that you are just like the rest of them; toxic, selfish and egotistical" she says and walks towards your office.

I walk back to my seat defeated.

I am glad that I no longer have to betray you by sleeping with Berry but now she thinks I am one of the monsters that I have been hoping to slay.

C.

"Oh my gosh guys, turn that the volume up" Tope says as she and a few other lawyers rush towards the large fifty inches flat screen television hanging above the large office space.

When did she get back from the filing room?

About ten lawyers gather in front of the television looking at the screen, You, Sami and Berry run out of your office to look at the screen.

I dash towards the crowd.

A burly male News Anchor with white patches(vitiligo?) on his face is reading the news.

"This is the third video he has released in the past three hours. He hints that there are more. All three irritating videos show Mr. Kingsley Asiwaju and his male paramours engaging in brutal and hardcore s****l i*********e" the News Anchor says and clears his throat.

A blurry video of two men kissing are shown on the screen..

Oh God no! Isn't that Kingsley? My Grindr hookup? I look at your face, a vile look dominates your countenance, Sami is frowning, he looks angry.

Berry is mortified. "No, no" I can hear her say.

"Many people have theorized that Mr. Asiwaju got his paramours from the gay hookup app, Grindr. Forty nine hours ago, he had made a video saying that he has slept with over a hundred men in the last five months and he recorded all the men. He threatens to release the videos if the men don't come out publicly to admit that they are gays. Here is a brief cut of the video" the anchor says as a video of Kingsley pops up on the screen.

"I'm Kingsley Asiwaju and I am gay. I think that this country's horrific gay laws are just inhumane. Allow people to be who they are. You think that you are too religious and that there aren't gays around you but those are all lies. In every ten person you meet each day, the possibility of one of them being gay is very high. In that your kinsmen meeting, there is at least one gay guy there. I did an experiment. For the past five months, I have met with more gay men than you can ever know. You think that there aren't gays around you? Well I will show you that there are more gays here than anywhere else you can imagine. Most of them are just married to women and in loveless marriages"

Kingsley's voice blares from the large television. My heart begins to beat faster. This can't be the same Kingsley, my Grindr hookup.

I bring out my phone quickly and scroll through the images. I see the nude image Kingsley had sent to me that night. I had deleted a ton of them but I left one. He is clothed and smiling effortlessly at the camera. He really is a handsome young man.

My hand begins to shake like a geriatric patient with a severe case of the parkinson's.

"I have over a hundred videos here and each contains an intimate moment I had with a different man. If any man comes out willingly and admits that he is gay, I will not release his video. But if he doesn't, then be prepared to be shown to the world. You should not be ashamed of who you are. You should be proud of yourself. You don't see heterosexuals sneaking around. If you know that we have ever hooked up in any social media platform, just come out of your closet. I am giving you an ultimatum. You have 48 hours and if it expires, those of you still in the closet will have your tapes out there. And oh, yeah there are really important celebrities here, people that you cannot believe are on the down low. I have published a list of their usernames so that you don't think I am joking. I know that most of you didn't use your original names to chat me up but I want you to know how serious I am when you see this list of usernames" Kingsley says as a list of usernames appear on the screen on his left.

But I didn't do anything with him, I didn't have s*x with him. I left, I ran away.

Oh no, this cannot be happening.

"What is happening here?" Barrister Wale asks as he walks towards the open office with his burly detective friend.

Great, my secret will be exposed and I will be arrested too. Or has Kingsley already released my video? Is the police man here to arrest me? I didn't have s*x with him. I didn't consort with a known fugitive. I can argue that I met him only for a business transaction.

Yeah the fluid exchanging kind of transaction.

"Sir, we think that a civil issue is brewing over here" Larry says and points at the television.

"Civil? This is a criminal case" You roar.

"What is?" Barrister Wale asks.

"This disgusting criminal filmed himself and other men having s*x. Now he is releasing the videos slowly. He has released three so far" You tell Barrister Wale.

"Woah, that's not good. What is that list?" Barrister Wale asks.

"It's a list of people he has slept with" Larry says.

"Have you guys checked if any of our clients' names are there? Have you?" Barrister Wale barks and we all shake our heads.

"Well, get to work and see if any prominent person is there, we can milk this to our advantage. Quickly Ifunanya, get Barristers Nuru and Ejiofor on the phone" Barrister Wale says and Ifunanya the hot finance chick runs out of the room.

Pandemonium breaks loose immediately as all the lawyers begin to run Helter skelter to cross names off Kingsley's romp list.

My email address might be on that list. What will you do when you see my name there? What will you do when you see a video of me and Kingsley about to kiss? What will my father do? And uncle Ekene? He will throw me out of his house and I will be another Icarus. Oh no, I am doomed.

I look at Berry and she looks angry. She is arguing with you. I try to hear what she is saying to you but I can't hear her. You demonstrate with your hands as you speak, she shakes her head and walks away in anger.

She walks past me, "You must be happy, You horrible person" she says and heads towards the elevator and I run after her.

"Wait Berry, stop" I tell her and she stops.

"What is it Nathaniel?" She asks.

"Calm down. I am sorry that this happened but things are not what they seem. For someone who hates stereotypes, you sure are good at them. You don't even know me very well, how would you know how I feel about gays?" I ask her.

She nods and swallows hard.

"Yeah, you are right. I am sorry I judged you. It's just that my best friend Caleb back at medical school was gay and I didn't even know. He was secretive and was reckless. He contracted a rare variant of HIV that was initially believed to be endemic to the Netherlands. In one year he had progressed to AIDs and before we could know what was happening, he was dead. If there wasn't so much hate for gays, he would have at least sought help on time. But instead, while we were leaving med school, Caleb's parents were burying him. You don't have to like them Nate, you don't have to support them even. Just stop treating them like they aren't humans, if there is a punishment for this, let God be the one to mete out their punishments. I have to go" Berry says and tries to leave. I hold her hand.

"Berry, I'm sorry for your friend, Caleb. He deserved better" I say.

"Thanks, be the change Nate" she says and leaves.

I am heart broken. Was Caleb like me? Unsure of himself and meeting men online to find acceptance?.

If a med school student like him could get STDs and die, what hope is there for someone like me?

My heart beats fast, my mouth feels dry as my fingers and toes begin to tremble.

Fuck! I need to see Doctor James badly. But can he help? Would he even understand how I feel?