Find Her

The divorce

Teni is now a year old and the family organized her first birthday party. Mr Oluwa cares about his family therefore he does the little things that could give his children some joy. Tasha had her first birthday party in a grand style. At least Mr Oluwa was working as an account officer by then so he had the resources to make it a beautiful occasion.

Tobi also had a beautiful one but not as lovely as Tasha because Mr Oluwa lost his job before Tobi was born and things were a little difficult for them.

Teni's birthday was moderate as the family now runs on a low budget. There was not enough resources but since they cannot miss the first birthday of their child, they managed to put a smile on her face. The party was over and Tasha has to clean the place. She is the eldest of the her siblings so she must always show leadership by helping her mother tidy up the place.

The community market was about 600 meters away from Tasha's home and when she was a little girl, her mother will take her along anytime she goes to the market. So Tasha perfectly knows the route to the market place.

As a young girl and the first of her siblings, Mrs Oluwa thinks Tasha is old enough to start learning certain things such as going to buy things from the market and also cooking. Tasha has parents who are well mannered, discipline and sometimes overprotective. They cannot allow their daughter to become lazy, irresponsible and good for nothing. Therefore Mrs Oluwa was ready to train her daughter on the right path.

Tasha has an extended family member who happens to be one of her grandmothers selling in the market. So Mrs Oluwa will make a list and put it together in a purse and hand it over to Tasha. She will help her cross the road which is not far from their house and Tasha then continues the journey to the market. When she gets to the market, she goes and gives the list to her grandmother who then does the shopping for her.

When the shopping is over, Tasha then carries the goods in a basket back to the house. This was how Tasha learned how to shop in the market at a young age. Mrs Oluwa is always pleased when ever Tasha is able to run this errand successfully. It gives her hope that her daughter is fast growing into an adult.

Since Tasha is able to go to the market Mrs Oluwa now has confidence in her and usually sends her on errands in the neighborhood.

One faithful day, Tasha was sent on an errand not far from her house. On her way, she happens to meet friends in the neighborhood who offered to escort her to the place. As children, the best they do in the company of their friends is to play. They kept playing on their way and Tasha even forgot that she has been sent. Mrs Oluwa was getting worried as her daughter has not returned. She waited a little longer but still no sign of Tasha.

She decided to follow up and see what the problem could be. Lo and behold, there was Tasha playing her heart out with her friends. Mrs Oluwa pretended she had not seen her and returned home waiting for Tasha patiently. Finally Tasha realised how long she has been out of the house and decided to go back home. Funny enough she did not even remember that she was sent on an errand. She got in front of her house before realising that she has been sent and she has also forgotten what the errand was about. Fear griped her as she got to the entrance of the house because she knows she is in trouble and her mother will not forgive her.

She managed to take some steps into the house and peeping to see if her mother was around. Yes Mrs Oluwa was around, sitting in front of the door with a cane beside her. Tasha almost wet her pant because she knows what awaits her. She managed to get closer to her mother and was being interrogated. She told her mother she has forgotten what the errand was about and has also misplaced the money. She was appropriately punished and she spent the rest of the evening crying and promised her mother never to repeat her mistake again.

Tasha hardly leaves the house to play with other children so upon being met by the group of friends on her way, she was overwhelmed. At least she had fun that day and she wished it will be so everyday.

That evening when Mr Oluwa got back from town, the case was reported to him. He felt bad for Tasha because he knows how much of a disciplinarian her mother is. He could not help Tasha much but just told her not to repeat it again to avoid another punishment.

Mrs Oluwa is a very disciplined woman and her students know it so well. She will not spare any attitude of stubbornness. This makes her students to fear her a lot.

Tasha is excellent when it comes to her academics. She just cannot fail because her dad will not allow her. Mr Oluwa is very concerned about the academic performance of her daughter whiles Mrs Oluwa is concerned about her general upbringing. She always does her homework and other assignments and studies every evening before going to bed. Mr Oluwa knows the value of education and he is ever prepared to guide his daughter on her academic journey.

Tasha is always happy when her dad is around because he is the first call for her academic support.

He is so supportive of her academics because he did not get much of that from his parents. And he does not want his daughter to go through that same ordeal. He knows how painful it is not to have anyone to guide you.

Tasha is very brilliant and Mr Oluwa is so pleased with her because he feels his efforts are not in vain. He is mostly pleased because it is rear to have a daughter or girl being brilliant because of the cultural origin. Men or boys are the ones who are considered mostly intelligent. This mindset of his people is largely as a result of the lack of education. Boys are considered more valuable than girls so much effort is made in helping the male child to attain the best academic level as possible whiles the girl child is mostly neglected.

But Mr Oluwa being being someone who knows the value of education is not ready to entertain this mindset. Therefore he is prepared to give his daughter the best as he will do for any other gender.

Mr Oluwa was not out of the woods with his financial situations. The responsibilities were becoming bigger and bigger therefore there must be some adjustment in the family.

The family came to a conclusion that Tasha must be transferred from the private school to a less expensive one. At least this will help cut down on a lot of the cost.

She was finally transferred to one of the local schools in the community which was just a stone throat from her house. The distance from her home to the school was just about 150 meters. This will cut down on the cost of transportation, feeding and also keep her closer to the house. Tasha did not find it so difficult to adjust to her new school because it was just around her house and has most of her neighbors children there. Because the family was running on low budget, Tasha mostly comes home on lunch break to have her meal. The family could not afford giving her money for meals or snacks at school so she has to make use of what was available in the house.

Tasha felt a little sad and left out because she has to watch her friends have fun with snacks and sweets during lunch break without partaking in it. But she understood what the family was going through and had to cope.

Things were getting a bit out of control, Mr Oluwa was getting back to his drinking habits and this is getting the nerves of Mrs Oluwa. He was broke and helpless.

This has really affected the academic performance of Tasha. Her dad was not mostly available to assist her with her homework or home tuition. Her mother is always busy with the house chores and her younger siblings so she could not give her full support.

Tasha was a little worried that she has no one to talk to. There is always some form of drama or argument going on in the house and she innocently feels she is the cause of the problem. Because at the end of the fight the anger is transferred to her through insults, abusive words, non affection or punishment at the slightest mistake she commits.

It was really a hostile environment for young Tasha as the once lovely family was breaking up again. Mrs Oluwa was left mostly with the responsibility of taking care of the house as her husband's attitude was becoming a nuisance to her. She has finally gotten to the breaking point and she will no longer take any of his attitudes.

On one faithful Friday evening , there was a heavy downpour and their home got seriously flooded. Mr Oluwa was not at home either was Mrs Oluwa. Tasha was all alone in the house because her mother had traveled to a nearby village for a funeral that afternoon. She left Tasha in the care of her dad but unfortunately Tasha did not meet her father when she got back from school.

At least there was food in the kitchen so she had something to eat.

She was all alone in the house waiting her dad to come back. The atmosphere was getting dark but still there was no sign of her dad. She had nowhere to go other than play with some kids in her neighborhood.

It was seven o'clock in the evening and Mr Oluwa had still not gotten home. The clouds were forming and the weather looked threatening. Tasha was really afraid because there was thunder striking as well as heavy winds blowing. She had to quickly run and take cover in the room. She was really terrified and began to cry.

The rains set in heavily and it lasted throughout the evening.

Mr Oluwa got back drained in the rain. He was well drunk and almost could not find his way. The whole house is flooded and the rooms were not spared.

Tasha screamed for help as the room was getting flooded and thankfully she was rescued by the neighbors who heard her cry out for help. She was taken in and her clothes changed, fed and was put to sleep. So Mr Oluwa came to meet an empty house but he is not aware of that as he was heavily drunk. He did not even realize that the room was flooded. Neither did he remember that someone was left under his care. He dragged himself into the room and slept off in the flooded room.

The morning came and he woke up before realizing where he was and the situation. He began to scream in search of his daughter. He was terrified now realizing the danger that he has exposed his daughter to. He was also screaming in search for his wife and the other children before he remembered that they traveled.

He found Tasha with the neighbors but the situation in the house is just a mess and no one can stay in that house until a whole clean up is done.

Mrs Oluwa got back on Sunday and met the mess in the house. She broke down in tears thanking God for saving her daughter.

She does not even want to see the face of her husband because she is just disappointed in him and cannot take anymore of him. Their clothes, bed, bags, books, almost everything got flooded in the house and it will take a lot of work to get things back to normal.

Mrs Oluwa with her children relocated temporarily to their family house which was about a kilometer away from their home. They spent a week in their family house whiles trying to resolve the flood issues back at home.

Mrs Oluwa got back to their home with the children and she has finally made up her mind to leave the marriage. She informed her parents of her decision of which they were not in support of it but her mind was already made up.

When she resumed school again, she opted for a transfer to another school in a different community and she has kept this from her husband. School was almost about to go on vacation and she hopes to receive her transfer letter and start her transfer journey when school resumes.

The academic vacation lasted for two months and school was just two weeks away from resumption.

Mrs Oluwa received her transfer letter and she was happy to finally leave the man she once loved and start all over. But for a moment she felt a bit sad because she is leaving her neighbors, friends and moving to a different environment.

Mr Oluwa got back in the evening and she broke the news to him. He already anticipated that something of this nature will happen looking at all the happenings at home but he did not expect it will be this soon.

He broke down in tears and pleads with her to stay. But she will not have none of it. He did all that he could to convince his wife to stay promising to change for the better but all efforts did not yield.

Mrs Oluwa was determined to leave her marriage this time around. And nobody can convince her again. Mr Oluwa could not sleep that night as he spent the whole evening crying and pondering over his wife's decision. He will lose his wife and children. Tasha was so sad because she will not get to see her dad frequently and may not see her friends at school again.

As school resumed, Mrs Oluwa was transferred to a different school in a village called Agasa which is about 10 kilometers away from Shai.

Agasa was a deprived community with less social amenities. It has no light, taps or good roads. Mrs Oluwa was not happy when she got to her new place because it lacked so many things but she was aware of what her profession entails so she was prepared to respond to the call.

Tasha was not happy because she has to adjust to a new life without her dad, friends and social amenities. There was no private school which means she has to make use of the public ones.

She was emotionally devastated and felt so lonely. She does not like her new school and she does not like the village because her life was more comfortable in Shai than Agasa.

Mrs Oluwa does not want to be address as Mrs Oluwa again and therefore wants to be called by her own name as Ms Betty. Tasha, Tobi and Teni were all enrolled in the only public school in the community since there was no other.

Tasha has not been able to speak to her dad since they got transferred to the village because they have no phone as well as communication network.

Back at Shai, Mr Oluwa was more devastated and depressed. He has no family and was all alone and it does not look like the drinking is going to stop anytime soon. He has no job and no family to keep him company. He missed his wife and children a lot but there was little he could do.

Life in the village was really tough and a nightmare for Tasha. Because she is the oldest among her siblings and was able to have a taste of life in Shai, she is finding it very difficult to adjust whiles Tobi and Teni were already used to it. With no light, no source of entertainment such as a television, no friends, Agasa was really boring for Tasha. There was no tap only a river which is about 400 meters away from her house, no stoves but fire woods.

Ms Betty, was also a bit confused as to whether she had made a mistake by opting for a transfer. The thought of going back to Mr Oluwa came to her severely but she was determined not to.

Tasha being the eldest was responsible for most of the house chores. She has to wake up as early as 4 am, sweep the compound, wash the dishes, set the fire, get to the river and fetch water for the household, assist her mother to make some meal before she prepares for school. This was really a tedious life for her. In the evenings she has to go through the same cycle. Her siblings were too young to give her a helping hand.

She always walks about 500 meters to and back from school daily just like the other students and teachers.

This has really affected her academic performance. There was no one to give her extra tuition or help her with her homework. She does not often study in the evening because the community does not have light and studying with a lantern was just too difficult. On many occasions, she does her homework early in the morning or when she gets to school early.

Tasha's mother was more concerned about her upbringing than her academic performance. She just does not want her children to become irresponsible or rascals. She therefore devoted her time teaching her children about the house chores and other basic home manners.

Tasha has to fetch firewood every weekend from a nearby forest. This was the part of her life that she hates most. People of Agasa are primarily farmers, therefore Saturdays are for farm works. So Tasha always follows a group of people on Saturdays to help fetch firewood.

And if she is not fetching firewood on Saturdays, then she will be doing the laundry or having a general cleaning in the house.

She hardly gets the chance to play with the neighboring kids because her mother will not allow it. Ms Betty does not want to give too much exposure to her children because she believes it will corrupt their good behavior. She herself had the same form of upbringing and she felt that is the best way to also raise her children.

As the days went by, Tasha was getting used to the village and her new life therefore she was not getting too worried again. She starts to make new friends at school who she plays and eats with. She has almost forgotten about the little luxury life she was living in Shai and is quickly adapting to the Agasa village life.

As part of the extra curriculum activities of her school is a cultural performance. Tasha is a very shy and timid person who does not like the crowd or exposing herself too much. Therefore she hardly participates in such activities. She prefers staying alone and observing from afar. She hardly asks questions in class and does not also answer questions mostly. She always wants to sit at the back of the class where she will not get noticed.

Ms Betty has really not noticed this attitude of her daughter neither is she even worried about it.

It has been more than eight months since Ms Betty divorced Mr Oluwa and her colleagues at school have asked her if she is interested in getting married again. Tasha and her siblings have not seen or heard from their father during this eight months but she is afraid to ask her mother about it.

Tasha has developed a very cordial relationship with her dad compared to her mother. She feels more comfortable talking about her problems with her dad but she finds it difficult to create that relationship with her mother. This is because her mother is very strict and does not give her room to express herself. Ms Betty is a teacher therefore she has high regards for discipline and responsibility. She just does not want to give her children the chance to do their will. She wants them to live a structured life. She was brought in a disciplined home of which her future was already dictated. Her school, job and everything was structured by her parents.