Wings, Beasts and Claws: Amethyst Flame

Ch. 21 : A Winners Denial

The morning sun spilled into the room as I started to wake, blinding me for a moment as I sat up in bed. I clutched my comforter to my chest with one hand while I rubbed my eyes with the other. And when I shifted around until my feet hung from the edge a flash of memory rushed through me and I was jolted, now fully awake. Slowly, I turned to find the other side of my bed empty, with a deep purple iris resting on the pillow and a small note card beneath it. Fragments of last night's events wash my body with a rising heat that wouldn’t leave me, my eyes still glued to the flower and card. Gingerly, I reached out to take it, taking in the flowers delicate fragrance before turning the card over.

‘Please forgive me for leaving you, I don’t want to cause you any trouble if I were to be seen leaving your room. I truly don’t know what came over me last night. I swear to you that it was never my intention to push you into anything you didn’t want to do… but I completely lost control of myself the minute I saw you. I will try to visit you today, though I have to help with the recent poisonings. Please be careful Amara, and stay safe.’ -D

It was a simple note that explained his absence as well as his confusion over what happened between us. Yet I couldn’t stop the sadness and longing that my body felt, wishing that he were here beside me still.

I shook off that feeling as best I could, holding the comforter tightly to my body as Ivy walked in with breakfast. Her eyes widened at my appearance, flickering towards my messy bed and the torn pieces of my nightgown that lay strewn across my room. I brushed her off, not wanting to hear anything about it. But she hummed and squealed happily as she helped me get ready, her eyes glittering with amusement and teasing. Once dressed she sat with me and we ate in silence, my mind struggling to push back every memory of last night to the deepest corners of my mind.

“Ivy.” I called to her, stopping her as she made her way out of my room with the dirty dishes after breakfast. “For tea today, please bring me some Midnight Silphia leaves.”

She frowned but nodded, leaving my room as I sat back and groaned.

A part of me was ecstatic, over the moon and blissfully happy with every single thing that happened last night. Not helping me ignore the fluttering feelings that spread across my body when I would remember little bits and pieces for a moment. The way he kissed me, how gently he would touch me, the tender way he would look at me, and his voice, so soft and sweet as he murmured my name. Each time I would recall a sliver of those moments I would fight to push it back only for another to take its place.

The other, much smaller, piece of me was questioning why I didn't even put up a fight. Why did I give in so easily to him when I myself wasn’t lost in a Haze like he was. Then I remembered how I had started to feel heated when he first stepped into the room, stunned as I thought back to how that heat had spread so quickly when he closed the distance and touched me. It made me feel so very confused, especially when I had had my own Haze a week before moving into the Fafner Palace, so I shouldn’t have felt like I was in a Haze until two more months from now. And another thing that was increasing my confusion was how the Prince was able to just leave after just one night.

Typically, the Haze lasts between two to four days for Unclaimed Shifters. And once you find a partner to help you work through those burning days, you stick to them until it’s all over. It's next to impossible to leave that person's side until the effects of the Haze subside, and even less possible for someone to change partners in the middle of it. The only time a Shifter is able to step away from the person they slept with is if they are your Claimed spouse. Because they are the only ones that you Soul-animal will calm the fastest with. Therefore, if one is Claimed they seek their spouse, sleep with them for just one or maybe two days, and then their Haze is over and done with. Returning to normal faster.

Yet the Prince and I are both Unclaimed and he was able to leave without a problem. Even I was feeling fine which just increased my confusion, urging me to check my wrists over and over again for a bite mark. Thankfully they were still smooth, without a single mark on them.

“Here you are My Lady.” Ivy cheerfully entered, snapping me out of my deep thoughts.

She set down a pearly white teacup and smiled mischievously at me, watching me take it in my hands.

“Stop getting ideas in that head of yours.” I told her, shaking my head as she giggled.

I stared down at the deep blue liquid, spotting a few Midnight Silphia leaves floating near the bottom of the cup. Without hesitation, I took two big gulps and sighed, fighting back a grimace towards its tart and bitter taste.

Midnight Silphia leaves were the strongest form of contraception that grew wild all over the world. It lasts for just under two days in the body and works the best if it's taken as a tea the morning after. I had learned all of this after my unfortunate tryst with Kaliden, recalling how he had educated me on this very plant and its other medicinal properties.

After drinking the rest of the tea I started helping Ivy clean up my bed and the pieces of my nightgown. I was greeted by my brother moments after we finished and he reminded me of the skills and talent portion of the current challenge. I groaned but followed him to the training grounds where he had set up some moving targets for me. I had told him at the beginning of the challenge that I wanted to use my flames in a show of archery for the King, Queen and Prince during the final week. But I hadn’t had the chance to step out and practice after nearly falling off a cliff, getting roses sent to my room by Kaliden and everything else that happened between the Prince and I.

Thankfully I had time to practice, grateful that I was the second in line to showcase her chosen skill. So when I walked up to the large patio that rested on the far side of Palace grounds the next day, I felt a lot less anxious. Though my emotions started to go insane within me as soon as I locked eyes with the Prince who was sitting on a slightly raised platform between his parents. He hadn’t visited me the day after our intimate moment and I was starting to feel a little awkward now that I was seeing him.

To help clear my mind and not focus on the man currently staring at me while another Queeness showcased her talent, I turned my back to the Royal family completely, acting as though I were practicing one last time.

When it was my turn I stepped up and nodded to my brother, letting him know I was ready for him to release the moving targets. I shot all twelve of them twice in rapid succession, one arrow sticking out of the head-like shape of wood while the other striking the chest. After I was done the other Queeness and I bowed and were dismissed.

That following week passed on peacefully, with Prince Dorian never once visiting me again. And when the final day of the challenge arrived, I stood in line with all the other Queeness’ and awaited the announcement of the winner.

“We would like to thank you all for displaying such a wide array of skills and talents that helped us glimpse into who you are and how you see yourself.” Queen Avelia started, standing and smiling beside her family. “We truly enjoyed your many abilities and cherish the smiles you have given us.” She motioned to a maid who stepped up and gave her a small bouquet of deep red tulips that were wrapped by a black ribbon. “Let us now applaud our winner, whose skill rendered us speechless and showed the true strength of her character.” She stepped down from the platform slowly, scanning the line before she stopped. “Lady Amara Delphia, step forward.”

I blinked rapidly as my name left her lips, my body feeling suddenly overcome with a jittering nervous energy as I moved to stand before her.

“I am proud to see such carefully mastered and nurtured skill from a NonShifter.” She murmured as everyone else around us clapped. “It warms my heart to know that you haven’t allowed yourself to drown in self-pity over what you are and how different you are from others.” Her smile was kind and warm as she handed me the flowers, pulling at my heartstrings as I was reminded of my mother. “Please continue to grow and love what you can do. I would very much like to see just what kind of future your life holds.” She winked and laughed softly as my mouth fell open before she turned away and rejoined her family.

We were dismissed shortly after that and my mind was reeling. Ivy wouldn’t stop talking about my win for the rest of the evening, constantly going back to fuss over the damned tulips. Even my brother was an endless well of compliments that was starting to annoy me. But when I was finally left alone I couldn’t help but wonder if I should feel insulted instead of happy that I had won the challenge.

Did His and Her Majesty truly like my little show as much as I was told? Were they really amazed with my skill? Or was every other Ladies talent just too bland that my violet flames were the only entertaining choice left? Or maybe it had nothing to do with the King and Queen. Maybe they had just been influenced by the Crown Prince to pick me. Maybe this was his way of ‘thanking’ me for helping him through his Haze. Or maybe he just picked me because I was the only Queeness that had slept with him during the two weeks running around with the other Ladies. Maybe this win was nothing more than an insult for giving into the man so quickly and making myself seem available and easy.

A groan left my lips as I flopped back in bed, my mood now sour as I slowly drifted off to sleep.