Wings, Beasts and Claws: Amethyst Flame

Ch. 14 : My Struggles

He’s reporting to me?

Those words rang out in my head and I couldn’t understand them at all. Why would His Highness ever report to anyone of a lower station than him? He’s a Prince! He should only ever report to his father and mother, not the illegitimate daughter of a Grand Knight and Duke. I hadn’t even taken his promise seriously last night, thinking that he would be too busy with the investigation himself to have time to let me learn what had been discovered.

I blinked several times as I looked at him, seeing his warm smile grow as amusement danced in his eyes. Finally, after a long, stretched out silence, I gave in with a sigh, schooling my emotions as well as my expression.

“I am deeply grateful that you took time out of your day to meet with me, Your Highness.” I gave him a small, polite grin and waited, taking note of the small drop on his smile.

“It saddens me that you’ve reverted back to using formal titles, My Lady.” He sighed, his voice soft and the light in those deep red eyes dimming. “I would’ve hoped to keep using each other's names as we had agreed to not that long ago… but it seems that my status makes you too nervous to be casual with me.”

He was frowning slightly now and the very sight of that along with the soft, almost hurt tone in his voice made my chest tighten. I started feeling this strange urge to console him, my mind painting pictures of myself wrapped up in his arms while I soothed and calmed him. Again I blinked rapidly, gently shaking my head to clear it of those sudden thoughts while I tried to think of a response. But that need refused to leave! Instead, it fought against me, digging in and sprouting roots that I furiously tore out of my core, only for another to spring out to replace it. My breathing picked up and my hands grew sweaty, my head spinning as I struggled to control this damned emotion.

“My Lady?”

I heard him call out to me as I squeezed my eyes shut, my body suddenly feeling too warm in my dress and my legs itching to walk around. I glanced at the still sleeping boy on my lap and managed to still that itching feeling, leaning my head back on the cushioned backrest while I took deep breaths. As I slowly calmed my raging emotions and cooled my body, I felt a presence drawing closer, nearing my right and weighing down the seat beside me. A warm hand gently touched my elbow, stalling my breathing as a strange electric sensation shot up my arm, sprinkling down my chest and back.

“Are you alright?” I turned and faced the Prince who wore a worried and tense expression on his face, his eyes clouded with concern as he looked over my body, searching for the cause of my behavior.

“Yes.” I breathed, slowly lifting my head away from the backrest and taking in another deep breath. “Please forgive me Dorian, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

I felt his body stiffen for a moment while I regained control over myself, turning to find him no longer upset or worried. He was now beaming brightly at me, his tender smile lighting up his face and softening his deep eyes as they stared at me. Curiosity filled me and I wondered why he had such a sudden mood change. But then I recalled my words and my eyes widened at the mistake I had made.

“Y-Your Majesty, I-I…” I stammered, my tongue tripping over itself as I rushed to apologize, but he silenced me. His large warm hand pressed tightly over mine as it sat in the space between us.

“Amara.” My body was once again embraced by an inferno as my name rolled off his tongue, my lips twitching to smile back at him as my cheeks were painted pink. “Please don’t be so nervous around me… I would very much like it if you’d just speak to me like you would anyone else.” He gave my hand a squeeze and those mysterious sparks jumped at the sensation, making my arm tingle and a strangely delightful way. “No special treatment, no titles.”

It took me a moment to respond, my mind once again fighting through a blaze of emotions that threatened to sweep me under.

“If that is truly what you wish...” I swallowed hard, forcing my body to retrieve my hand from his tingling grip as the blush on my cheeks grew warmer. “Then I will, Your--uh… D-Dorian.”

He nodded, his smile still bringing a twinkle to his eyes before he relaxed and leaned back in his seat. I fumbled for a reason or a way to ask him to return to his original seat across from me, my body still reacting to his closeness. But I couldn’t think of anything that would sound right without making him rude or completely cold. So I bit my tongue and sighed, focusing on playing with the few long locks on the sleeping child's head that were sticking up.

Ivy walked up then and placed some finger sandwiches and teas in front of us, smiling brightly at me before leaving the room. It was then that His Majesty began talking about what he had gathered so far in the investigation.

It turned out that Lady Heliona and Lady Naveyame’s Guard had a long and chaotic romantic history. They would be lovers for a few months at a time before fighting and moving on, then they’d come back to each other again. And it was during one of the festival days that they had reunited and spent most of the day together, sharing meals, having tea and roaming the festival grounds. The lead investigators believe that they were most likely poisoned during this time. It was thought that they must have consumed the same thing that contained the poison, but the most likely target was Lady Heliona herself. Being a Queeness and possible future wife of the Prince made her and all the rest of us targets, so added security was placed around the Queeness Palace and our Guards were going to begin training on how to detect and handle someone that has been poisoned.

As the Prince continued to inform me I became increasingly curious as to how the poison was smuggled onto Palace grounds. Especially when everything is checked multiple times before passing through the gates during a delivery. Then many more times as food and spices are handed down and used for meals and tea. The excess is even stored and guarded heavily and checked again and again once it’s pulled out.

So how was their food or drink spiked?

“The servants?” I muttered to myself, thinking of the dozens of eyes and hands that handle the examination of the food and spices. “No… they’re never alone when the checks are done…” I pressed my hands together and pressed my lips to the tips of my fingers, staring at the coffee table in front of me as I thought. “It couldn’t be during delivery either… so the only option left… is that someone must have smuggled in the drug and used it.” I nodded slowly, my mind moving forward towards the next possible scenario. “ So now we just need to find out where the poison is being hidden, who is using it or their next possible targets.”

I looked up from my musing, blinking through my thoughtful haze and finding the Prince staring at me with a strange look. It was almost tender and warm… or perhaps loving would be the word? But why? And why is my body reacting to such a gaze? Why can’t I just brush off these warm feelings that keep trying to settle in my chest? What is it about him that’s causing this strange reaction in me? And why can’t I fight it?

I cleared my throat and looked away, realizing that I had been staring into his heavy red gaze for too long.

“Forgive me for staring.” He chuckled out, smiling broadly as he leaned back in his seat. “It was enjoyable, watching you piece things together like that.” His soft tone made my body heat up again, wrapping around me with a tenderness that I couldn’t shake. “I can’t seem to stop myself from smiling when I’m around you.” The flush deepened another few shades, my cheeks straining as I fought against a smile.

He chuckled some more as I squirmed in my seat, feeling like I was being pulled in so many different directions. My head one way, my heart another, and my emotions bouncing off the two. Thankfully my brother entered the room, his eyes growing wide as he took in His Majesty sitting beside me and the still sleeping child on my lap. It was a good distraction and helped me regain control over myself as I asked him how things were going in the Guards sleeping quarters.

Ivy reappeared a short while after, announcing that lunch had arrived. So we all moved onto the dinette and I gently moved Calix from my lap, smiling as he started to wake up when I attempted to settle him onto my bed. He Jumped up and cheered at the sight of his Uncle in the room, inviting him to join us for lunch. Ivy and my brother tensed when His Majesty agreed, smiling at everyone as we settled around the small table.

I was hoping that the Prince would be able to read the room, realize that everyone was too nervous around him to get comfortable, and kindly leave my room. But I was betrayed.

Ivy and Arden warmed up to His Majesty after just a few minutes, chatting and asking him all sorts of questions about the Capital. The different shops, the best seamstress, the restaurants, blacksmiths, schoolings, and even a Change House for those that wished to Shift and enjoy a run in the woods in their animal form. Everything was talked about as we ate, and every time a question was posed to him, the Prince would somehow manage to turn it around on me and ask something involving it.

Are there many good seamstress shops? Amara, do you enjoy trying on new gowns?

What kinds of restaurants are in the Capital? Amara, what’s your favorite food?

Do the blacksmiths take special requests? Amara, do you only use a bow and arrow with your flames, or do you use a physical as well?

On and on the cycle went, and on and on I struggled to keep myself from not only gaining his attention, but fighting against the rising emotions. I wanted to eat in silence, enjoying everyone's company and just listen to them talk and laugh. But he insisted on dragging me through every conversation change. I had even tried to seek help from my brother and Ivy, but they just smiled and waited for me to answer His Majesty’s questions, seemingly taking his side over mine.

I wanted to be angry, really, I did. But I was feeling nothing but happiness and some strange gleeful bubbling in my stomach. Every time his red eyes would rest on me, every soft and curious word directed at me, every second that he sat there, mere inches away from me, was driving my emotions and my body insane. I felt nervous, giddy, and anxious. Excited, flushed, and strangely at peace… and I hated it.

I never wanted to feel these emotions again. Not for anyone. I had sworn to stay away from the very mention of Love, and everything I was feeling was serving as a bitter reminder of its failings. It was pointless and weak to give your whole self to someone just because they whisper sweet words and share tender moments with you. My mother was torn apart by my father, having been lied to and used until he was fed up with her. Then I fell for Kalidens tricks and threw away everything important to me. Gave myself up to him and trusted him with the one and only treasured item that our mother had hidden from everyone.

We were both made weak. We were both tossed aside when we weren’t no longer useful or entertaining. And here I was feeling these pathetic emotions again. Here I was losing control over my own damn body and nearly behaving like a young girl with a crush on her tutor.

'Get a grip!' I thought to myself, waving good-bye to the Prince after he was called out of my room by a Knight. 'Fight harder! Push those feelings down! Bury them as deep as you can! I can’t let myself fall again.'