Asleep *FINISHED!/COMPLETE*

*Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

JASE

I knew Ellie had been through so much and was confused, understandably, by the whole illumine/shade thing she’d witnessed earlier with Callen, but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking how freaking adorable she looked right then…

Even if it was because she thought she was crazy, I knew she wasn’t. I just hoped that she didn’t actually go crazy once she learned of all of the pieces of our world, well, technically it was her world too. It was everyone’s world, really, but like her, not everyone realized that yet.

I decided it would be best if I fully extinguished my smirk after taking in her stern, half crazed expression, and debated on exactly where to begin…

“Ok, ummm…”

I ran a hand through my dark hair and did that stupid thing again where I scratched the back of my head, truly not knowing how to make the words come out right. I was afraid to scare her or make her think I was crazy…

More than anything, I was afraid to send her running again. I couldn’t let her leave knowing Oren was after her; I needed to know she was safe. I abruptly clamped my mouth shut then, because I was about to start there, wanted to start there knowing her safety was the most important thing in all of this, but that would definitely freak her out.

I sighed. “Ok,” I started again. “How about we start with the pieces that we apparently have in common? And then we will get to the things that are a little more… difficult to explain as we go. Does that work for you?”

Ellie merely nodded, her eyes staring off into space as her mind no doubt recalled what she’d witnessed of Callen’s Shade being displayed in maddening ways earlier in the lobby of his building.

I had to close my eyes and take a breath to steady the rage that boiled beneath the surface when I thought of that prick, knowing I had to be sensitive as he was apparently Ellie’s brother. That was the knowledge that made me feel a little crazy. I hadn’t been able to come to terms with what that could mean just yet.

“So Oren and Claudia…” I began.

Ellie’s eyes snapped up to mine, but her mouth remained closed, her jaw locked in place. She was readying herself for whatever truth unravelled in this conversation.

“They’re families are tied to ours, going back centuries, actually. They are bad people, Ellie… I’m sure you can imagine after what you…” I swallowed down my disgust before continuing, “after what you went through at the orphanage.”

I couldn’t help the pop in my jaw as images ran through my mind of the kinds of things they must have done to her during the 13 years she had spent there… 13 years? Dear God, I wanted to rewind time and find her before they could ever have entered her life.

I stared at her, struggling with the urge to ask her more questions about what she had been through, and with the innate need to find Oren and beat him to a b****y pulp knowing the threat he was to her.

But the strongest pull I fought? Was to wrap this broken girl inside my arms. To pull her to me, and attempt to heal every last one of her wounds…

“Jase…” she said quietly, snapping me out of my trailing thoughts. I noticed her eyes had begun growing with hints of moisture, almost as if she could sense my current internal struggles.

“Right, sorry,” I looked away from her and shook my head, as my cheeks attempted to redden with embarrassment that I swear only this girl could have ever caused me.

“So their families, the Stones, which is Claudia’s lineage, and the Vorsithe’s, which is Oren’s - their influence on the world began at the beginning, alongside ours; When the 7 churches were established across the world. And in the beginning, they were good, or at least they tried to be. Pretended to be. Whatever you want to call it. Different versions of the same story depending on who you ask.

“But as the story goes, one day they decided to use their… gifts for selfish gain. For evil. And they turned their backs on The Seven.”

Ellie’s brows knit together, as if she were remembering something.

“Callen,” she said softly. “I remember Callen mentioning something about The Seven when he thought I was unconscious.”

“Yes. Callen was brought into our side of the world by Claudia. I don’t know all the details, but I do remember my parents talking about how… how they believed Claudia had “groomed” him to take his position in the political world.”

“Groomed him? What does that mean?”

The look of confusion and the simultaneous flicker of hope that crossed her features nearly broke me.

“I’m not completely sure, but I do know that when Callen first entered the political scene, he was… different.”

“Different? Different how?”

Damnit. There was that flicker of hope again. The hope that maybe her brother hadn’t chosen this life. That maybe he wasn’t the monster he had made himself out to be when she found him. Unfortunately, she didn’t know the full extent of what Callen was capable of. She didn’t know all that he had done since he entered our world.

I sighed, and ran a frustrated hand through my hair again.

“I don’t know, El. He just… he was… friendlier? Kinder? He seemed to want to operate on a platform of hope and helping people, at least in the beginning. Although he still pretends that’s what he stands for.”

I couldn’t help the side eye glance and scoff of disgust that I let out. But then, noticing her features twist with pain, I schooled mine into that of indifference. She didn’t need my opinions of her brother seeping through, not now, at least. Not when trying to catch her up to what she was now swimming in.

“At the time, our family didn’t realize that Claudia had placed him there. Though there had been some whispers in our world as to where he came from and his intentions…

“But then it became evident. He was using his Sh…. his platform,”

I corrected myself, but I know she caught the misstep. I hadn’t been quite ready to explain that piece yet.

“To influence people in a way that was… well, manipulative. He was playing people like pawns. After that, there was no doubt which side of this war he was on.”

“War…?” Ellie whispered suddenly, interrupting my attempt to clue her in on, well, everything.

Her eyes fluttered up innocently to meet mine, her irises swirling like the sea underneath her dark lashes.

Shit. I silently cursed myself. She wasn’t ready for this.

“I’m sorry, El. It’s a lot… Maybe you should get some sleep and we can try and continue this conversation tomorrow?” I asked gently, hopefully.

“Tell me,” she said, with hard determination in her voice. She wanted me to believe she could handle whatever it was I had to tell her.

I stared back at her eyes, now swirling with all the emotions of a lifetime. Of a thousand lifetimes.

I closed mine, and proceeded to steel myself, now. I had to lock down my emotions to get through this and just hope for the best, I convinced myself.

“Ok.” I held her stare again, silently pleading for her to hear me out and somehow wield that same strength she’d shown countless times since my first laying eyes on her.

“I didn’t intend to start here, but I may as well. It may be easier to understand all of the pieces if I start with the foundation…”

“The world is neither good, nor evil, Ellie. It is both. It’s been both since essentially the beginning of time. Because it’s not what’s in the world that makes it good or evil. It’s people.

“It’s the choices they make- the things they choose to do- that creates a sort of, domino effect, that sparks and fuels either good or evil. And The Seven have been charged with holding that balance, and eventually tipping that scale, so that the good in the world outweighs the evil. In the hopes that, eventually, it will overcome it, and destroy it, all together.

“Our family, the Cross family, is one of the original Seven. Our lineage goes all the way back to the very origins of creation itself. We have been charged with the duty and responsibility of protecting the innocent from those that wish to harm them, from the evil that is so prevalent in this world, and to fight for what is good and right- for all of humanity. To overcome evil with good, day in and day out, until our dying breaths.”

I paused, giving her a moment to process and gauge how she was handling everything I’d just said. She was still staring down at nothing in particular, but she didn’t seem visibly upset, so I decided to continue as I watched for her expression to change or show I’d pushed her too far.

“However, in our world, we don’t refer to the ‘side’ of the war you’re on as either “good” and “evil.” Once one actually and officially chooses a side, we are then referred to as either a Shade, or an Illumine.

“Shades use their gifts for selfish gain and without regard to the effect our actions have on others. An Illumine, however, are those that are fighting tirelessly to send light out into the world. Fighting to give people hope, joy, love… all of the good things that do exist, if you are shown the way.”

“Ok…” Ellie whispered slowly… I guess that makes sense, sort of. In a way…” I could see the wheels turning in her mind as she tried to rationalize the truth of all of it.

“You guys are like, I don’t know, vigilantes or something, right? Fighting crime behind the scenes?”

She had one brow arched, as she bit the corner of her bottom lip, and wore the most adorable expression of both confusion and acceptance that I’d ever seen. I imagined she was picturing us like Bruce Wayne out fighting crime in dark alleyways.

“Something like that,” I said with a small smirk.

“Ok… but what do you mean by ‘once you choose a side’? And what does that mean about my… about Callen? Is he a… a Shade? Is that how he was able to do all those… weird things earlier?” She swallowed hard and stared at me expectantly. I was glad she was asking questions instead of running. For now.

“I’m sorry, Ellie… but yes, Callen is a Shade. He chose his side a long time ago, unfortunately… and as for how he was able to those things…” I paused, gauging her reaction, “that may be a story for another day.” I could tell she wasn’t going to be satisfied with that answer, but it was too much to go into right now. We had barely begun to scratch the surface.

“I know you want to know more about your brother, and believe me so do I… but you’ve been through a lot and this is a lot to take in… and there are some things you really need to understand first before we dive into all of that. Your first question was the most important one to understand for now, El.”

She didn’t speak, she simply nodded her head confirming she was alright for me to continue. One day, whether she realized it yet or not, she would have to choose a side, and she needed to understand the gravity of what that meant.

“Most, if not all, people,” I continued, “have this general idea or belief that their actions are their own, in the sense that they’re choices really only affect themselves… that everyone has an opportunity to create a good or bad life for themselves. And, in some sense, this is true, because we do choose our own paths, however, once you realize that the consequences of your choices have such a vast and widespread “ripple effect,” if you will, on the world itself, then you see the importance of the choices you make.

“Like the choice to help a stranger in need,” I went on, “vs. ignore them and pretend to never have even seen them. This choice may not have a negative impact on you, per say, but the ripple effect? It’s honestly unbelievable, both for good and bad actions.

“That man you choose to ignore could be on the brink… saying to himself ‘if one more person ignores me, I’m done. I give up. I’m ending it. And then you ignore him and he takes his own life. Then his daughters find out he’s gone, and their tears of sadness turn into anger. And then, say, one of them lets that anger overtake them at work and now they are out of a job. And then their husband who has been working overtime for 6 months straight can’t understand how she could be so foolish as to lose her job over whatever angry outburst she had, and the weight gets to be too much and he divorces her. Now her kids are in a broken home, in the process of being evicted or at the very least, the water is shut off. Then they go to school and start saying they have no water, etc. Then child services gets involved. Then they end up being placed in a foster home with little love and even fewer joys. Then they grow up to be angry, bitter, hurt humans who hurt others…

“Vs. someone stops. They say, “hey man, are you ok? Can I get you something?” And that seemingly so small act of kindness sparks hope. And that hope sparks a willingness to seek. And that seeking lands him at a shelter. And that shelter helps him get cleaned up and get a job interview. And that job gives him purpose. And that purpose drives him to keep going, keep getting up, keep pushing. And that drive gets him promoted. And that promotion gets him a raise. And that raise gives him the courage and confidence to reach out to his daughters he hasn’t spoken to in years. And that begins to fill a hole in their hearts. And that hole hopes that a visit from him will have it filled completely. And that visit has him meeting and connecting with his grandchildren. And his grandchildren listen to him tell stories of mistakes and things he wish he’d done differently. And those stories seep into their minds and their hearts. And their minds and their hearts become determined to do better, be better, and they grow up to become incredible people who, in turn, pour out love and hope into the world…”

Good.

Light.

Life.

Instead of evil… darkness… death.

And once you realize the impact of the choices you make, of the fuel that feeds the flames of one or the other… you must choose.

And it is your choice.

Because the weight of it? The impact of what you do from there on out? It is significantly heavier, more meaningful, and in it’s essence, life changing - world changing. So you must choose. But that choice is beyond a choice. It’s a lifetime commitment to serve others… or serve yourself without regard to the effect your actions have on the world.”

I stared at the beautiful girl sitting in front of me, silently pleading for my words to make sense in her head and her heart, praying she would choose well when the time came.

“And that’s what it means to choose a side.”