Asleep *FINISHED!/COMPLETE*

*Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Silence descended over the room as Jase finished his heavy speech regarding the apparent war that was going on behind the scenes of this world. It wasn’t just his world, it was mine too. It was everyone’s.

There was a part of me that honestly didn’t want to entertain the thought of all of his claims not only being valid, but resoundingly true… but I knew it was. Truth is a funny thing. It’s almost as if people are thirsty for it, and you just know when it’s being spoken, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

But to be completely honest? Nothing he said sounded ridiculous to me. I could trace back the truth ringing through the lines of my life. I could easily recall the times evil had been done to me and I had chosen to respond differently- go against what the horrific actions of others had stirred up within me. If I had let myself, if I had chosen to give into the darkness, who knows where I would be now? Who knows how many people I would have hurt. Because hurt people hurt people…

For my own sanity though, I decided to take all that Jase said and encapsulate in my mind to be labeled as merely a theory for the time being. A theory that I would begin collecting evidence on to decide just how much truth there was in what he said, and see if it all really added up to whatever was currently happening in my life.

A theory. I could deal with that. It didn’t feel quite as earth shattering or mind blowing when you thought of it that way. I took the stance of curiosity then, intentionally shifting my mindset to one of gathering information or collecting data, rather than someone who was emotionally invested. It was either that approach, or let myself go into a minor panic with the thought process that I was a barely 18 year old girl with a very messy life who was suddenly finding herself at a crossroads of what-the-hell-do-I-do-next-if-this-is-true, and I think I chose wisely. I hoped.

“Ok… soo that’s a lot. But,” I paused, and tilted my head slightly in thought, “but I guess it makes sense? Most of it anyways. At least the whole “good vs. evil and our actions affect the world” kinda thing.”

Jase eyed me warily as if wondering how I could be responding so minimally to all that he had just laid out. There was also a spark of curious fire in his eyes that I had to keep myself from exploring for the moment.

“But what did you mean when you said that people could “use their gifts” or whatever? You mean like teachers and doctors and police and stuff like that? To, ya know, like… help put good into the world or whatever?”

Jase smiled brightly, and my heart skipped a beat acting of its own accord. I couldn’t help it, and I hated that I couldn’t help it. Why couldn’t he just be jerk-y? Or ugly? Was that too much for a girl to ask? He wasn’t doing anything to help me stay disconnected and it was infuriating.

“Not exactly,” Jase trailed off, his stupid smile never wavering as he took in my curious yet calm demeanor. “That’s part of the conversation I’d like to save for another day, love. Though you seem to be handling all of this quite well?” He said it as a question instead of a statement.

Uhg. Love. Another one. What is this guy, some rich wannabe british charmer? Love. Blek.

I decided not to comment on yet another nickname and draw more attention to it and instead confirm that I was, in fact, taking this quite well. Although that made me worry even more over my current mental state.

“I mean, what choice do I have? I can argue it or deny it or fight it… but it either is what it is, or it isn’t. If it is, then I need to know more. And if it isn’t? Well, then what do I have to worry about?”

“Interesting mindset.” He gave me a curious stare as if assessing my thoughts. “You are full of surprises, Elliana. And for some reason I get the feeling we’ve only barely scratched the surface with you.”

I gave a snort of disapproval. “Whatever, J, I am exactly as I seem. A girl just trying to figure out where I fit in the world. Like every other 18 year old is, right?” I shrugged my shoulders like I totally believed my life was completely normal and not an actual trainwreck that seemed to continue spontaneously combusting with each passing day.

“Mhmm… Yup. Nothing to see here, guys. Just a normal girl doing normal girl things. Definitely nothing special about you, Ellie. In fact, you’re honestly quite boring.”

His smile was so broad and bright my breath hitched. Right before I chucked my new favorite pillow back at his head.

“Hey!” I chastised. “I never said I was boring! Or even that I was normal… There’s just nothing that makes me special, Jase. Trust me on that one.”

His smile faltered and I could feel the range of his emotions from high and excited to low and frustrated and then watched them settle on his features somewhere in between the two, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint where exactly that was.

“You can believe what you want, Elliana. But the gifts I spoke about earlier are different than any you are thinking, I assure you, and mine is particularly good at seeing what others cannot.”

His response came quietly, barely above a whisper, but with a subtle conviction, a confidence if you will, as if he truly did know something I did not.

My mouth was suddenly dry as I tried to swallow, feeling the thickness of the air between us. I felt that damned string pull taught again, beckoning me to draw closer to him, but I would not budge.

I will not be pulledI, I lied to myself as I realized I had unconsciously shifted an inch in his direction.

“Umm…” I swallowed thickly, lost in something that I didn’t understand. It was like the air around us was both a thick weight and alive with electricity, as if I were a visitor subject to the whims of this realm instead of actually having authority over my own body, mind, and heart.

“Yes?” Jase asked in a whisper, a crooked smile across his face as I leaned in a little closer, staring at everything and nothing at the same time, drinking in every line of his face, every fleck of gold in his eyes.

Jase cleared his throat and I jumped, realizing I had somehow made it halfway across the bed and nearly sat in front of him. What, the actual, hell just happened?

Embarrassment flooded my cheeks and I scrambled backwards on the bed putting distance between us.

Flustered, I tried to remember what I had been trying to ask him? What had we been talking about, again?

“The gifts, Ellie- you were asking about the gifts?” Jase offered helpfully.

My eyes snapped up to his. Had he just answered my thoughts somehow? It wasn’t outside of the realm of crazy given what I’d witnessed since meeting this dumb, handsome kid with a family- a family that had money, at that. Too much money.

Too good for you, Ellie.

I silently cursed myself for even entertaining whatever wandering thoughts had been playing in the background of my mind. He was so far out of my league and he was just trying to be nice.

He’s trying to put good out into the world.

I realized all too suddenly his true motivations for helping me, and that realization stole the breath from my lungs.

Suddenly tears pricked at the back of my eyes and I rushed to stand up, and turned away so he wouldn’t see the emotions now welling up inside me. I was an i***t. An actual, total, moron for thinking for even a moment that this boy that acted like a man, who’d lived a thousand life’s worth of experiences and luxury, could ever have been interested in a girl like me.

“Ellie, what’s wrong?” Jase rose off the bed, quickly making his way over to me. The concern I felt radiating off of him had a new swell of agony rising within me.

“Nothing, I’m fine, I swear,” I said with my back to him trying desperately to blink back the tears without seeming obvious. My voice came out a little shaker than I’d intended, but it didn’t give much away either.

“Ellie, look at me,” Jase said softly, as he gently grabbed my arm and attempted to turn me to face him.

With more force than I’d wanted to use, I jerked my arm out of his grasp.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Honestly, Jase. It’s just been a long day and I’m ready for bed. I don’t think I can take in any more information tonight.” I said, still refusing to look at him, even though the moisture in my eyes had mostly receded.

I walked over to the door and held it open for him.

I closed my eyes and sighed as I leaned my head back against the door while I gripped the handle tightly, my arms crossed behind me.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be rude. I’m just tired. Thank you for all you’ve done for me, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t still have a million questions, but they can wait until tomorrow. We both need sleep, I think.”

He stared at me as he crossed his arms over his chest, worry and confusion now lining his eyes, but he didn’t object.

He simply brought his gaze up to meet mine, and held my stare for a long and uncomfortable moment before dipping his chiseled chin in a nod of agreement.

“Alright, Ellie. I’ll let you get some rest then.”

I couldn’t help the pang of regret that reverberated through me at the hurt that laced his words, his eyes. But I had to become steel. I couldn’t afford to bend in the storm that was Jase, however tantalizing it may have been.

He took two large strides towards the door, but then stopped just before crossing the threshold.

“One more thing.”

He turned his body to face mine and leaned a strong, muscular arm on the door frame, directly above my head, boxing me in and temporarily causing me to forget how to breathe.

His height had me tilting my head up further to meet his serious eyes he cast down at me, and I swallowed audibly as his close presence stole any words, any thoughts I’d had moments before.

“Promise me that you will not leave this house tonight, Elliana. There’s still so much you do not know about this world, and I…”

It was his turn to swallow, though it was small and silent in comparison. He averted his eyes away and shut them tightly before opening them and recapturing my gaze even more fiercely than before.

“I need to know that you are safe. I cannot protect you if I don’t know where you are. Promise me that you will not ever leave in the middle of the night like that again.”

He paused for a moment, and though my mind willed me to answer, my mouth wouldn’t move, wouldn’t form the words.

“Promise me, Elliana, or I swear to you I will sleep on the floor outside this door myself if that’s what it takes.”

His eyes were stern but nothing I felt from him resembled anger or frustration. Only… need? Conviction? Something else I couldn’t quite decipher…

“Please, Ellia…” I cut him off.

“I promise.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper as I searched the depths of his eyes for his intent, the source of his need, of his protectiveness.

Silently he pushed off the door frame and stalked away, and even though I felt the relief he experienced at my promise, his shoulders did not relax as he stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and retreated down the hallway towards the stairs.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it’s solid wood.

What the heck was that?

Why was he so worried about protecting me? Was it Callen? Or something more…

And more importantly, why had I given such a promise? I had sworn to myself that I’d never be made a prisoner by anyone ever again.

But for reasons I couldn’t understand…I knew this was different.

I just didn’t know why.

An intense and sudden wave of exhaustion overtook me and I swayed on my feet as I pushed off the door. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and then opened them wide in an attempt to fight off the extreme fatigue overtaking me, but the dizziness increased. I tried to regain some balance and strength as I began stumbling towards the bed. I just needed sleep.

The back of my neck throbbed and my muscles ached. Even my mind was struggling to form coherent thoughts.

The last thing I can remember, was the intense pain that radiated through my spine like fire, just before thick and heavy darkness pulled me under- fast, hard, and very, very deep. My lifeless body hit the floor hard, having never made it the last few feet to the bed.