Fado’s Obsession (Completed)

13

I got asleep after what he did. Or after what we did? I don’t know what happende next, basta ang naalala ko nakatulog ako sa sobrang pagod.

Pagkagising nakita kong nakaupo sa gilid si Uncle Fado at naghahanda ng pagkain. I got shy, I had to bury my face on my pillow. Pakiramdam ko hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa rin ang ginawa niya. It was become a good memory? Maybe... because I think I was still in ecstasy.

“Gising na, Aiv. You have to eat. Aalis na tayo maya-maya. I also got my car.” Bulong nito. Almost making me jump from the bed.

At ang loko, sarap pisilin ng labi... ang ganda ng ngisi eh.

I thought I was still naked, hindi naman... I’m fine and look normal. Nakasuot na ako ngayon ng shirt na siguradong galing kay Uncle Fado. Kailangan ko pang kiputin ang mga hita ko to feel if I have underwear, meron naman. But I am so uneasy.

“Are you okay? Masakit?”

Agad na nag-init ang pisngi ko. Yong pagkakatanong pa nito parang normal lang na tanong iyon. Halos nga hindi ako makatitig sa kanya, hiyang-hiya ako.

“M-medyo. But I’m fine! Can we just enjoy this afternoon snack?” Nguso ko.

Humalakhak ito. At ang walangya ang lakas ng loob na tumabi sa kama where I am sitting. He ate too just like what I am doing right now.

“Nag-aalala lang ako Aiv... I’m still in cloud 9 but I’m also worried of what you feel right now.”

Konting-konti na lang sasabog na ako sa hiya. Can we stop talking about that? I don’t feel anything except uneasiness... okay lang talaga ako. What am I supposed to feel then? Like I should regret of what happened this morning? Para namang kawalan iyon...

I snap from what I was thinking. Kawalan? Kawalan talaga! But because you consider it as one of the simple thing... hindi talaga kawalan.

“I’m actually fine, Tito. Can we stop talking about that? Nahihiya lang ako and it doesn’t matter.”

Ngumuya na ako, naramdaman ko pang tumigil ito ngunit sumunod din sa pagkain. We were silent for an hour before he broke the silence. Sasamahan niya raw ako sa nakalaang kwarto para sana sa akin o sa amin para magligpit na din.

Pagkakita sa ilang naiwang tauhan, others had to go home early,bigla akong nahiya. I don’t know if they had an idea... or maybe they don’t mind cause they’re used to it?

Kaso... I should have been attentive because after some few days. Halos sabunutan ako ni Tita Sheen habang tinatanong sa akin ang mga bagay-bagay. I had to lie, considering that my family will be here next week.

“Sigurado ka Aiv? Usap-usapan ka sa Poblacion! May nakapansin na mga tauhan ng Fado na yan na nawala ka buong gabi! I let you join that trip because I thought I could trust him again, or I could trust you—“

“Tita! Stop nagging! We didn’t do anything except that we were hang up and slept on the beach side! Yang mga tauhan niya ang dudumi ng isipan!” Nagdadabog na sabi ko. I wanted to get out of this house... I think... Tita is too much.

“Siguraduhin mo lang talaga Aiv... hindi mo kilala iyang Fado na iyan. Mahilig magpaikot ng babae iyan.”

Tumango ako at hindi na pinagtanggol ang kung sa tingin nito ang pagkakakilala kay Uncle Fado. We didn’t have time to see each other, last iyong sa beach trip. Pagkagaling ko kasi nagprepare na ako para sa balik eskwela. I also bought some ‘decent’ dresses since we don’t have a proper uniform. Hindi ko na binalak na makihiram kay Tita since I was feeling a bit guilty.

I’m also preparing for my family’s visit next week. May change plan nga lang, I don’t think I need to introduce Uncle Fado to them. Nahihiya ako.

After snack, niligpit ko na ang mga kalat. Pati ang mga bata ay inasikaso ko muna bago iniwan. Sabi ay may meeting daw kami... ewan ko at para saan. At ‘pag pinuna pa nga ang damit ko, siguradong sa kanila na ang problema.

The meeting was smooth, may nirevise lang na bagong protocol which we had to comply.

Ngumiti nga si Ms Reyes nang napalingon ako sa gawi niya. I don’t know why she was smiling like that but syempre dahil baguhan ako I had to smile back. Maya’t maya after some discusion and little instruction ay lumapit ito sa akin.

Kaya naman pala,

“Uuwi sa bakasyon iyong kapatid ko. Ipapakilala kita.”

Uso pa pala ang reto-reto ngayon? I suppress myself from saying no. Sabi ko na lang titingnan ko kasi uuwi ako sa amin.

We talked some things but she was so focused introducing her brother who is I learned is a seafarer. Ngumiwi ako pagkatapos at tinitigan ang cellphone. Blangko iyon and I was planning to use it later... but I think I don’t need that anymore.

Tuwang-tuwa si Uncle Fado pagkakita sa akin. He didn’t had the chance to see me wearing anything formal except now that I didn’t expect him picking me up here.

Napatanong nga ako sa kanya at namention ko iyong galit ni Aunt Sheen. Mukhang nakakaintindi na tumango at ang damuho he knows it since last week! Hindi man lang ipinaalam sa akin!

“You fired her?”

Umiling ito at siya namang inis ko kasi hinayaan niyang ganoon lang ang isipin ng mga tauhan sa nangyari. Well, we already did it but still...

Ang sama ng timpla ko habang nakaangkas ako ng pagilid sa likod ni Uncle Fado. He said that we’ll eat out somewhere.

Mukhang manhid pa at hindi kaagad nakapansin, halos wala nga akong gana na sumagot sa mga tanong nito. Pauwi na kami ng napansin niyang masama talaga ang loob ko.

“Hayaan mo, kakausapin ko bukas.”

“Don’t they have other things to do? Pansin ko ang bilis ng mga tao dito magkalat ng chismis.”

Natawa lang ito sa sinabi ko. Samantalang hindi na talaga maipinta iyong sama ng loob ko sa nangyayari. Ganito ba talaga dito? Yeah, I knew it but do they really have to?

Pagkarating sa kanto, tinapik ko na siya at sinabing maglalakad na lang ako mula doon. Nasa kamay ko ang isang bag, hawak ko lang since I’m not in the mood...

Dumukwang pa ito at humalik sa labi ko. Napanguso ako, umulit pa ng isa at naging mapusok... almost tasting me and sucking on my tongue. Napaungol ako at mabuti madilim dito. At mukhang wala namang napapadaan. Nanginginig na naman ang daliri ko... I have to put my hand on his abdomen for a little support. Pakiramdam ko matutunaw na ako. He’s different, halatang sanay sa halikan... iyon bang, makakalimot.

“Kita tayo this weekend, sa bahay ko...” bulong nito bago humalik sa leeg ko.

Kulang na lang mahimatay ako doon. I became so sensitive since after what happened to us. Akala ko normal lang na mag-imagine every silent night about what we did. Minsan, I got aroused.

“Titingnan ko, baka kasi nasa bahay lang si Tita niyan.” Bulong ko.

He nodded and then kissed me one last tine before the night end. Mabuti na lang pagkarating sa bahay hindi naman naging mausisa si Aunt Sheen. She thought that I wasn’t seeing Uncle Fado. Almost 2 weeks ba naman kaming hindi nagkita, for sure she would think that.

Tinanong niya ako kung kumain na ba daw ako. I said oo tapos nagpaalam na sa kanyang aakyat na. After getting better with my injury, I decided to go back to my old room. Dito ulit sa itaas.

Mama called me that night, she was so excited about their vacation next week. Tinatanong nga ako kung kakasya ba raw sila sa bahay ni Aunt Sheen, medyo nahihiya since she’s not the sibling.

“Ma, pakidala iyong paborito ko pong tshirt saka shorts ah?” Paalala ko dito.

Tumawa ito at sinabi pang, “Dadalhin ko ‘tong mga pekpek shorts mo...”

Napailing na lang ako, nagmana kasi ako dito. When it comes to dressing, she’s my model. Pakiramdam ko nga hanggang ngayon parang bagets pa rin ang turing nito sa sarili.

“So? How are you and this Uncle Fado your Tita Sheen’s mentioned before?”

That was unexpected! Halos makagat ko iyong dila ko. I don’t know if I should tell mom about what happened.

We were bestfriend, siya ang pinagsasabihan ko tungkol sa ex ko noon. She’s a willing listener, sometimes siya pa ang nagdadahilan kina Papa’t mga kapatid ko kapag may biglang date kami ni Axel.

But now, I’m worried...

“You like him, anak?” Natanong nito kalaunan. She was obvious with her worried tone. Pakiramdam ko kapag nasabi ko iyon mas lalo itong mag-aalala.

“Haa? Ma! Hindi po.”

Natawa ito mula sa kabilang linya, and speaking of that... I have no choice but to tell her about Tita Sheen being paranoid all the time. Which I think it affects my mental health... mental health? That was a small thing but I got easily mad.

“Pagpasensyahan mo na, nak. She’s just worried. Hayaan mo kapag may nabakanteng daycare dito ipapalipat kita.”

Medyo excited ako doon sa sinabi nito but I can’t keep away my mind from Uncle Fado. Hindi pa naman sure iyan, but Mom is planning to transfer me there... syempre, ang layo ng 8 hrs.

Nakatulugan ko na lang ang pag-iisip, kinabukasan kailangan ko pang dumaan sa pharmacy because I’m feeling a bit sick. Pakiramdam ko matutuluyan ako ng lagnat. I can’t concentrate, and I think the kids had idea too... ang bebehave.

In the afternoon, Uncle Fado fetch me and he was smiling. Pansin ko lagi na itong nakangiti, I should be throwing some joke but because I was feeling sick, I ended up hugging his clothe back.

Nakaramdam yata ito, I wanted to sleep so bad. Pakiramdam ko dinuduyan ako sa pagyakap pa lang dito sa likod niya.

“N-nasa bahay na tayo?” My voice thrilled as the thought came rushing to me... ang bilis naman yata. Gusto ko pang yumakap.

“Papa-check up tayo, I know you’re not feeling well.”

Napilitan akong bumaba, nakaalalay sa akin si Uncle Fado habang papasok sa loob ng hospital. His eyes won’t even leave me. Pakiramdam ko binabasa niya ako.

“Aiv,” tawag nito, making me so curious.

“Naalala mo yong nangyari?”

Kumunot ang noo ko, because I’m still disoriented... I had no idea what he’s talking about but I stop walking the moment it slips from his mouth.

“D-diba, you pulled it out?” Confuse was, I’m sure, written all over my face.

“Oo,” napalunok ito.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko.

“Do you think it’s too early? Mag-1-one month pa lang iyon ah?”

Or rather I should have become nervous than today that now I almost fainted. How can it be so early?

I mean, sigurado ako eh na wala talaga. Nakita ko, pareho naming nakita ni Uncle Fado. And the Doctor said...

“May pre-ejaculation na sumasama ang sperm na pwedeng maging cause of pregnancy. Do you to two practice safe s*x?”

And we both become silent, yeah... unprotected s*x. Just that one time mistake lead to this. I couldn’t speak even the Doctor instructed both of us to see an Obygyne. Para mabigyan daw kami ng proper prescription.

Nawala yata ang lagnat ko, while Uncle Fado was very silent. Tinititigan ko nga siya baka biglang mahimatay. Who would believe those? Nilabas niya naman eh, pero bakit ganoon?

I don’t know what will happen after this. Bibisita pa naman sina Mama next week, how can I face them? How can I face Tita Sheen knowing that I lied to her for many times already?

What am I supposed to do?

I tug his shirt and pointed out a pharmacy.

“I can try a pregnancy kit for tomorrow morning. Baka mali lang.”

He was animated, parang hindi pa ito makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

Nakagat ko na lang ang pang-ibabang labi.

“Kailangan ko yatang ilabas yong isang sasakyan. Di na pwede sa’yo tong big bike. Mahihirapan tayo, baka mataktak iyan. And about your parents, can I meet them?”

Mabilis na kinagat-kagat ko na lang ang labi. What should I really do? Panaginip ba ‘to?