Kill The old Self
Teresa was 19th years old, almost 20 in a few months. She spent all her 18 years pleasing her daddy, knowing that if he was happy, so was her mom. Whenever she makes any mistakes, he doesn't tell her or collect her, instead, he goes and blames her mom or asks her mom to talk to her and act as if nothing happened, but this. This was affecting her mom so much. She never knew what her daddy said, but seeing her mom so upset and disappointed in her eyes, further made so much so, she did everything she could to make her mom happy. She never talked back to her mom when they blamed her for something she didn't do. She only spoke when any injustices were happening, but not to her. She never cared what happened to her. Nothing bothered her because she didn't take anything to heart. All she cared about was seeing her siblings and parents happy. She was so focused on it to the fact that she didn't know what she liked and what made her happy anymore, all she knew was to be successful one day and change the lifestyle they had. She never really liked the way they lived and wanted to give her mom all the things she ever dreamed of. When growing up, she saw her suffering a lot and sacrificed a lot for them, and put herself to last. Several nights she cried to sleep after hearing how her daddy was unfair to her mom only because of his siblings, who wanted to destroy their marriage since he was pure and naive. He believed everything and was unfair to his wife. No one knew that Teresa hadn't heard of it all and it broke her heart, so she promised to make her mom happy one day. Education was everything she had and still had and didn't allow anything to come in between. She always becomes so stressed every time something is wrong in her studies. The only fear she had in life was to fail and not be able to succeed in her studies.
When she was, she became old. She received a message from her mom that shut her so much to fact that she almost breaks down in class hearing how others are happy with their daddy, to her he was someone that will never trust and believe in her no matter what she does to them, she lived all her life the way they wanted and give up on a lot of things and was not enough for him and he closed the line of suspect her of being the indecent girl that shut her down so much. and tell herself nothing will ever make him happy in the end both of you will be unhappy and she never wanted that so since that day, she promises herself to put herself first and treat herself well, she needs to know herself more and focus on self-happiness and fear Almighty, she said only Almighty can guide me and I will change as long as it isn't wrongdoing it and she wants to do she will no matter what. so she starts to involve herself in work to build her career and close her ears and eye. she even start going out and discovering new places, living her life to the fullest in processes she found herself again and she becomes the happiest person who will do everything for her dream so she applied for are university far from home and in a big city she wanted new opportunities in career and love.
She was never a selfish person. Even after putting herself first, she makes sure her siblings are happy and does anything she can for them. They are her world and happiness. Everything she did, she informed her mom, but she promised herself to never let him know until things were better. She was waiting for her results. Even though her marks were high, she had an admission problem that stressed her out. She feared not ever getting a chance to be admitted. All her friends informed her that they were accepted, which stressed her out more because time was running out, so she applied to the other university in Zahle. She was confident about her results but not so much about being admitted due to late applying, but at the last minute, she was accepted to all universities and received a scholarship. She was so happy that she could at least fulfill her dream, so without wasting time, she selected the university in Beirut and prepared herself to report there. It is a good thing, she was accepted to one of the biggest universities in Beirut. Still, it wasn't easy for her to receive a go-ahead from her father, but now that was the least worry, because she has a full scholarship and has some savings, so she can start studying. She decided not to pay her fees. She was conscious of always having a backup plan when it came to her education and fees. It was a good thing her daddy agreed at the end, but her mom was so hurt in the process, but she stood her ground as always for her kids.Teresa suspected it but didn't know what happened, so she let it be. She believed one day when she was okay she would tell her because now they were not only mom and daughter but also best friends and it was a blessing for her. She was always happy to be there for her in her hardest times, like the way she fought for them.
She knew her mom always had two things she wished to happen for her to be successful in her career and have someone that can love her the way she deserves and treat her better. She saw how life treated her badly. She really wanted her future to be bright. The day Teresa left home, her mom prayed for her success and she prayed for strength to be able to achieve everything she dreamed of and for him to guide her on the way to Beirut. She promised herself to make her mom proud and prove her daddy wrong.