Pretend To Forget

3. Compensation.

Since the first time I met Sharlene when we were still little children, Tita Lucinda had always had a soft spot for me. Kahit naman ako, ang tingin ko sa kanya, nanay ko na hindi ko kadugo.

I came from an orphanage. Ang sabi ng mga tagapamahala roon, iniwan lang ako sa gate ng marahil ay mga magulang ko. Gabi raw ako iniwan dahil umaga nakita ang sanggol pa lang na ako noon. Halos mamatay na nga raw ako noon sa panginginig dahil sa lamig.

But I survived that. I was named Katherina Gomez by the couple who adopted me at once. Saying it was love at first sight from the childless couple.

My mother, Kathy Gomez, was Tita Lucinda's friend. When I was five, I met Sharlene, who at that time had just returned from Ireland. We studied in the same school, and became best of friends.

Nang magkaproblema ang mga magulang ko at umabot sila sa hiwalayan, nobody wanted to take me. I was heartbroken that time because hadn't I been a good daughter to them?

While they fought for custody of the biological children, I was abandoned.

That's when the Maguire family took me in. I was already ten at that time.

Kaya sobrang grateful ko sa pamilya nila. Mahal ko sila at alam kong mahal din nila ako. Well, except Johann who always saw me as sampid in their family.

He was right though. But like I said, despite his cold and sometimes harsh treatment of me, I still developed feelings for him. And being vocal and unashamed about it, I let everyone know that I love Johann.

The elders would just laugh at me. Johann despised me more. But Sharlene encouraged me. Sabi niya, wala siyang ibang gustong maging sister-in-law kundi ako.

Kaya nga kami umabot sa puntong ito.

"Sorry po," sambit ko ulit.

Sobrang guilty sa kinahinatnan ng ginawa ko.

"Hindi ko hahayaan na hindi ka panagutan ni Johann, Kate," Tita Lucinda said bago siya naging emosyonal. "I cannot let him disrespect you like that! I raised you like my own child! You are like a daughter to me, it breaks my heart that my own son destroyed you!"

"It's my fault, Tita. Kung dahil sa akin ay lalayo ang loob ni Johann sa inyo, mas mabuti na lamang po na kalimutan na lang ang nangyari," I said.

Ang nangyari… That echoed in my mind. Masyadong naging tensyonado ang araw na ito. Nakalimutan ko na kagabi, pumalpak ang magpapanggap lang dapat na plano ko.

May nangyari sa amin ni Johann. Mali at hindi ako handa. Pero hindi ko binigyan ng pagkakataon ang utak ko na kumontra. I took advantage of that opportunity to be one with the man I love. Kahit pa all the while, he was calling out a different woman's name.

I knew it was selfish of me. But I still didn't know that Natalie was pregnant at that time.

Had I known, I wouldn't even have considered what I did.

"No, hija. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko kapag pinabayaan kita. I promised Kathy that I will take care of you," Tita Lucinda cried.

I cried with her at the mention of Mama Kathy's name. Kahit hindi naman niya gustong isama ako noon, I was thankful pa rin kasi kay Tita Lucinda niya ako iniwanan.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have met Johann.

"THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS!" bulalas ni Johann matapos ideklara ni Lolo Thomas ang huling baraha niya na pabor sa akin kahit naman hindi ako ang totoo niyang apo.

Pero hindi lang naman si Johann ang nagulat. Maski ako ay nagulat. Wasn't it too much?

"Choosing might not be that hard for you if you really love your girlfriend, Johann," sabi ni Lolo. Hindi pa siya fully recovered pero nagpilit na siyang umuwi.

He said that he could already feel that his time was almost over. Nang kausapin niya ako, hindi ko napigilang mapaiyak. Sabi kasi niya ay sisiguraduhin niyang pakakasalan ako ni Johann bago siya mamatay.

"Are you hearing yourself, Lolo? I have given my all to the company! Pinagtrabahuan ko ang posisyon ko. You know that! You can't just strip me off of it like I didn't contribute to where the company is now!"

"Kung ano man ang nagawa mo, I'm confident that Kate and Sharlene could surpass it. Sa kanila ko iiwan ang kumpanya, Johann. But if you marry Kate, you remain the CEO with the highest share."

"D*mn it! I am your grandson! This woman is not even your flesh and blood and yet you care for her that much!" Puno ng galit at hinanakit ang tinig ni Johann.

Gusto ko siyang sawayin dahil nag-aalala ako kay Lolo. Pero isang matalim na tingin lang mula sa kanya, nauumid na ang dila ko.

"Dahil babae siya na ayaw mong panagutan!" Bahagyang tumaas ang tono ni Lolo. Nakita kong nanginginig ang mga kamay niya.

"Lolo—" tangka kong pamamagitan. Pero sinaway niya ako.

"Johann, I will give Kate everything that's supposed to be yours as compensation for the irreparable damage you've done to her!"

"You cannot do that, Lolo. I've worked hard for the company–"

"Then marry Kate. That's the only way you can have the company." Lolo said with finality. "Think about it, Johann. Natalie and your b*stard child, or Kate and the company."

Nakuyom ni Johann ang mga kamao niya. Halatang gusto niyang sumagot pa lalo at tinawag ni Lolo na bastardo ang magiging anak niya.

Pero hindi siya nagsalita pa.

"You are dismissed. I don't want to see you until you choose Kate," pagtataboy pa ni Lolo.

Johann walked out of the room and as I watched him disappear by the door, I felt like I just caused him his misery.

"Don't cry, Kate," alo sa akin ni Lolo. Hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na pala ako.

"He will never forgive me, Lolo," I said.

"Oh, don't be silly. I know that boy so well. He will marry you."

"What about his child, Lolo? I don't want him to grow up without a father. I don't want him to be like me!"

"Do you believe that at my old age, I still make rash decisions?"

Napatingin ako kay Lolo. He gently smiled at me.

"Trust me and just obey what I say."

I nodded and dried my tears.