Pretend To Forget

2. Marry her.

"Marry her?!" ulit ni Johann sa malakas na boses na halos ika-atake sa puso ng Lolo niyang si Lolo Thomas. "Are you kidding me? I'm about to get married next month!"

"Naisip mo dapat iyan bago mo pinaki-alamanan si Kate," mariing sabi ni Lolo Thomas. The old Irish man looked more fragile now. But the authority in his voice still said that he was the patriarch of the Maquirre family. He lifted up his cane at ipinanduro iyon kay Johann.

"I didn't mean it!" protesta pa rin ni Johann. Konsolasyon ko na lang siguro na hindi niya sinubukang ideny ang nangyari sa amin.

Sa totoo lang, I am not happy even if I knew I succeeded with my plan. Seeing their family like this because of me was hurting me.

Masakit sa puso ang makita silang nag-aaway.

"Whether you meant it or not, doesn't change the fact that you have to take responsibility for what you did to Kate. You are marrying her. It's final!"

Johann balled his fists. Halatang nagpipigil lang siya ng galit, which meant na kung hahayaan niyang umalpas ang kanyang emosyon, baka maghalo na ang balat sa tinalupan. "Lolo, I'm not going to marry that woman." For the first time since we entered the study room, Johann looked at me with so much disgust in his eyes. "I love Natalie and just so you know, she's with my child."

His last four words almost knocked the air out of me.

I gasped in disbelief. Not only me though. Tita Lucinda, Sharlene and Lolo Thomas were all stunned by Johann's declaration.

For real? Natalie was pregnant with his child?

Pakiramdam ko ay may pumiga sa puso ko. Hindi ako makahinga. Bakit hindi niya sinabi iyon dati pa? Sana ay hindi ako nagtangkang gawin ang ginawa ko!

I just committed a very huge mistake!

"Ano ang ibig mong sabihin, Johann?" Hindi makapaniwala si Tita Lucinda. "You've been having s*x with her before marriage?!"

"You heard me right, Mama," palaban pang pahayag ni Johann kahit alam nito ang stand ni Tita sa premarital s*x. "Buntis si Natalie. Kaya kahit ano ang mangyari, hindi ko siya iiwan para sa babaeng 'yan!"

Napahawak si Tita sa tapat ng dibdib niya bago nanghihinang napaupo sa sofa.

"Mama!" Nag-aalalang dinaluhan ito ni Sharlene.

I couldn't say anything. I'm shocked. Naramdaman ko na lang ang mainit na likidong umaagos sa magkabila kong pisngi.

What have I done?

"You are such a disappointment, Johann!" sabi ni Lolo nang makabawi na sa pagkagulat. "At sa tingin mo, magbabago ang pasya ko? I never liked that woman for you anyway. Leave her and marry Kate!"

"You are impossible!" bulalas ni Johann. "You want me to abandon my own child for this crazy woman?!" galit na galit na muli niya akong tiningnan.

"She's not crazy!" Pagtatanggol ni Sharlene sa akin. "You took advantage of her, and you got the nerve to call her crazy?!"

"I took advantage of her?" Ulit ni Johann na puno nang pang-uuyam ang tinig. "How did she end up in my bedroom? Would you mind walking me through the details, Sharlene? You're in this together, right?!"

"I–" natameme si Sharlene.

"See? I knew it! You and your friend planned this!"

"Johann!" galit na saway ni Tita Lucinda na hawak pa rin ang dibdib. "I did not raise you to be like this! What have you become? Why are you so inconsiderate of your family's feelings? All for that d*mn slut girlfriend of yours?!"

"Slut? If there's a slut here, it is that woman who you wanted me to marry!" Ganting sigaw ni Johann sa ina niya.

In the countless years that I lived in their home, it was the first time that I've seen Johann disrespect his elders.

"What would Natalie and her family feel if I canceled the wedding? Didn't you come with me when I asked for her hand in marriage? Tapos ngayon, gusto n'yong talikuran ko ang mahal ko para kay Kate? It's not happening, Ma, Lolo. I'm sorry!" He stood up and walked to the door.

Pero bago siya makalabas, bigla na lang bumagsak si Lolo sa sahig.

Nataranta kaming lahat. Si Tita Lucinda, sapo pa rin ang dibdib. Hindi namin malaman ni Sharlene kung sino ang uunahing daluhan. Si Johann ay napatda muna bago kumilos para pangkuhin si Lolo.

I ran before them downstairs habang sumisigaw ng tulong. Hindi rin naman nagtagal at nagsilabas ang driver ng pamilya at ang mga kasambahay.

"Start the car!" sigaw ni Johann na struggle sa pagbuhat kay Lolo. Although Lolo Thomas had been sick for a year at nabawasan na ang timbang niya, malaki pa rin siyang lalaki.

Hindi na ako nag-isip at lumapit ako para tulungan si Johann. Hindi siya umangal. Malamang ay kailangan niya talaga ng tulong.

"I'M SORRY, TITA," marahang sabi ko kay Tita Lucinda.

Nasa loob kami ng hospital suite ni Lolo. Inatake siya at hindi maganda ang lagay niya.

"Hindi ako sang-ayon sa ginawa mo. Pero narito na 'to," Tita answered, hindi naman galit pero naroon ang disappointment sa tinig niya.

Bakit naman hindi? How I feel for her son was an open book. Alam niya na bata pa lang ako, gusto ko na si Johann. At kahit kailan, hindi siya nagpahayag ng pagtutol.

Sa mga hindi masyadong obvious na pagkakataon, tinutulungan pa nga niya ako na makuha ang mailap na loob ni Johann sa akin. Because Tita Lucinda loves me. Because Sharlene loves me. Because Lolo Thomas loves me. Even when Tito Jack was still alive, he loved me.

Si Johann lang talaga ang never akong nagustuhan. He had always been cold and aloof towards me even if I never did him wrong.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero ang malinaw sa akin, kahit gano'n ay nahulog pa rin ang loob ko sa kanya.

Since the very first time I saw him, I already loved him.

Napayuko ako ng ulo. "Mali po ang ginawa ko." I felt my tears well up again. "Sorry, Tita. Dahil sa akin, nagkaganyan si Lolo."

"He's fine. Don't blame yourself." Marahan niyang ginagap ang mga kamay ko.

I cried even more. Paano na hindi siya galit sa akin? I just caused a misunderstanding in their family!