Chapter Closed

COMPUNCTIONS

Yes that was the mistake I made, saying all that at the wrong place and time. I just learned to let go of it. A part of me felt good about all that conversation, a one night stand id call it. The next day when I came back from school I had so much guilt about the night before, I went into my sisters bedroom and drank a bottle of wine listening to the song mpolodise (I was home alone), my neighbour/ex male bestie had confessed his feelings for me or something like that and he asked if he could come over and I denied.

I went on call with Ziyanda once again but this time I was talking with Neo…

Neo, a very deep based guy whom I met (not physically) on a voice note that Ziyanda kept gloating about. Ziyanda said to me if you think Sam’s voice is deep, listen to this guy’s and hi (very deep) Neo said. Was I not falling hard.

On the call some things were said but what catches the attention is when I said “your voice is sexy” and Neo said “I think you’re sexy, the rest is not mentioned. I then had left my phone for a while to go make lunch but in the process my ex male beastie Picasso as they call him was outside and I told him to come over, he came over we talked for a while, somehow some way we ended up in my bedroom. We cuddled, we talked until I told him to leave, he refused and he said the only way he will leave is if I give a French kiss. I refused buy ended up giving him baby kisses we hugged and he touched me all over but I thought of my vision board and told him that he needed to leave and he left.

The guilt was eating me up so much I ended up crying and kept asking myself what I was doing. During this time, I had begun speaking to an old friend called Lutendo(not my brother). Lutendo Mariba is a guy I’ve known for a life time, basically forever, a guy that has been crushing on me for a very long time. He had obtained my cell phone number from my older brother Papi as I call him and that him himself Lutendo had been trying my all means to obtain them. Throughout this whole entire time we spoke and shared laughter’s and well everything in between but still on that I believed that he did want something from which he unfortunately got.