The Binding: Pinetrail Farm

Toby felt his consciousness fading by the second although his eyes refused to close shut. Nobody could ever have the strength to stand still when their eyes were laid upon a heartbreaking sight such as this: Amanda, Toby’s girlfriend for two years had hung herself in their shared bedroom.  The young man fell against the wall, his right arm caught the end of the dresser to help him find balance, but it was useless. His world was shattered and there was no turning back. To breathe in air suddenly felt like breathing acid, the pain was unbearable.      “No… baby no….” Toby blinked away the tears but they kept coming back and blurring his gaze. He wanted to rush and get her down but he knew he was way too late to save her and so he sat on the floor helplessly with his lover’s icy body, hanging still, with her shadow hiding Toby’s figure from the sunlight. He didn’t only lose someone that he loved so dearly that day, he lost two at the very same time. The other one without a name yet, Amanda took that opportunity away with her passing.  On top of the neatly folded blanket on the bed, a note was laid open. Amanda’s own handwriting filled half of the crumpled paper. The very last things she wanted to say to her lover but was unable to in person. The last bullet for Toby to take later once he found it. 1 Year Later. Westford, Vermont USA.     Tobias Reed liked the rain, something about the smell of the earth offered him some comfort in the cold January winter. It had been a year and Toby had found some balance in his daily routine. Fortunate enough to have the support system to pick him up at his lowest, he was on his way to mending scars. A blessing he planned to never take for granted. Although not a day passed when he wouldn’t think of the past— the tragedy— but somehow recently, the pain was bearable. Maybe the therapies finally paid off or maybe he’d learned to adapt and live with the pain. Whichever it was, today was the day he finally felt a tinge of calm.  Toby’s sharp eyes stared down at his bare upper body. His body was a bit more sculpted thanks to the fitness routine he’d been following. He looked up at his face, noticing the length of his hair that nearly reached his shoulders. Getting a haircut would be the next thing to do after his therapy session today.       “Nice, you’re up.” A young man’s voice came from the door, it was Alvin. “So I won’t be able to drop you off today. Gonna check on the cabin, see if anything needs fixing.”  Toby hummed as he bowed down to grab one of his shirts that were strewn on the floor. A little bit of cleaning up was definitely needed. Alvin sighed where he stood, unsure whether he should say something or simply leave.      “I can drive myself, just do your thing.” Dismissive tone, loud and clear. Alvin shook his head in annoyance and a frown soon formed on his face. “You’re not the only one hurting.” The sentence caught Toby’s attention, making him turn to gaze at his younger brother. “I don’t know how many times I should apologize, I don’t even know what I did wrong—but I know that eventually, whatever this—“ Alvin pointed to Toby and himself and the tense atmosphere in the air. “This will need to be resolved, cause we’re too old for this shit.”  Toby looked away, silence was all he could offer and yet it wasn’t enough for Alvin.     “Just know that I love you, no matter what you think of me.” Alvin paused, watching as Toby’s shoulders began to sag. “Stay safe, call me if you need anything.” Toby watched as Alvin turned to walk down the hallway. He couldn’t help but to feel sorry for himself, but even he knew there was a barrier between him and his younger brother. A baggage that needed to be unpacked some time in the future, another severed connection to be mended. Maybe when he had the courage to talk it all out. But now he had more important things to do: a thirty-minute drive to Burlingto and his scheduled therapy. It wasn’t long until Toby found enough strength to leave the comfort of his bedroom. The dining room was the first thing that came to his mind, hungry for a bite to eat.  The smell of pancakes swirled around the house and the sounds of chattering breathed life into this big old two-story house. Toby’s feet were swift, dragging him down the stairs. The walls on the ground floor, in the hallway to be exact, were beautifully decorated with numerous ornaments and paintings. Several family pictures also came to view as Toby walked across the hallway.  Five people came into view, Toby stood silently in the hallways looking into the dining room. The young man stopped for a moment, admiring every single one of his siblings present. He noticed how different each looked from one another except for Tessa and Abraham, since they were twins. He noticed how beautiful it was. How beautiful they were. A family. He watched quietly, fond of the warmth that was radiating from the room. His eyes found little Benjamin sitting with his toy gun on his lap, taking small bits of his food. Tessa and Abraham conversed happily. Violet and Alvin were busy with catering the food around the table, making sure everything was present.  A chuckle nearly escaped Toby’s mouth when Benji squealed in surprise. “Wait until he gets here, then we start.” Violet swiped at Benji’s hand. “And stop picking on your food, you’re making a mess.” Her tone was soft and yet she still imposed authority.  He remembered the times when he used to hate all of this. He used to hate how his parents just brought strangers into the house and forced him to refer to them as brothers and sisters. That was long ago and now he felt nothing but growing love for them and he wouldn’t change a thing even if he could.  He saw Violet smiling at him, beckoning him to join in.      “Big guy’s up.” Violet chirped, her rich tan skin looked so pretty in the warm lighting of the room. “Breakfast’s done— anyone wants some OJ?”  Toby sat comfortably next to Abraham, the two nodded at each other. “Good luck for today.” Abraham—Abe for short, said. Toby offered him a pat on the shoulder, not knowing what to say to that. Maybe a simple thank you would suffice, but Toby was afraid that would spark a conversation.  Violet put a plate of freshly made pancakes right in front of Toby, complete with a glass of water and before she left, she laid a hand on her brother’s right shoulder. The man looked up to see his sister already gazing down at him with a sympathetic look.      “Take your time, I can tell you’re improving a lot lately. We love you.” She whispered softly, then she turned her heels to sit on an empty chair next to him.  Grateful, Toby felt an immense amount of gratitude for the gesture.  He looked around the table, finding everyone was staring back at him. “No Dad, no need to pray.” He said, gesturing to his siblings to start breakfast. Abe didn’t hold back a chuckle and dove right into his plate and was followed by the rest of the siblings soon after.  The tradition had always seemed lame to Toby. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in God, he did for a long time, but as the days went on ahead and with the tragedy that happened to him, he wondered if God even existed. If he did, why did He let him suffer? If God was good, then why did he let evil run amok freely? Toby didn’t bother to look for answers, at least he wasn’t interested anymore.  ‘Definitely no need to pray, prayers have brought me nothing—not even a miracle.’ Toby thought to himself, quickly taking bite after bite of his pancake.  The Family - Chapter 1 Burlington, Vermont.      “That’s it for our session, you’re free to go home.” Dr. Tuft chirped happily as she readjusted her glasses. She leaned against the back of her chair, offering Toby a kind smile. Her radiating cheerfulness filled the already bright-all-white room they were in. The only exception was her purple chair. Toby grinned. “Thank you, Doctor.”  Dr. Tuft tilted her head to one side and curiosity painted her round face. “Although I wonder, Mr. Reed.” She paused, now leaning her torso slightly forward. “Have you considered visiting her again? Well, them.”  Toby felt stiff as a stick as soon as he heard the question. He could feel his body temperature dropping and his heart beating like a drum. “I thought about it a couple of times but I’m not sure I’m strong enough just yet.”  Of course, who would be strong enough to be reminded of such a tragedy? To imagine stepping near to Amanda’s grave already sent shivers down Toby’s spine, fear began to encapsulate him. He shook his head, pushing all of his emotions down and sat straighter. He didn’t need to remember the bitter bite of his past, he didn’t need to feel its torture, not now. Truth to be told, he was afraid: afraid of the pain, afraid of the truth and afraid of the gnawing regret. He was afraid of plunging deeper into his broken self, the one he was trying so hard to break out of. Now that he had found some balance, he didn’t want to lose his grip.     “I advise you should, when you’re ready. It’ll be good for you to bring this episode to a closure.” Dr. Tuft laid her notes down on the table that separated the two. “I won’t lie to you Mr. Reed, it is easier said than done, but I can promise you one thing, regret will always follow and all you can do is to learn to live with it.”  Toby sucked in breath, he knew what the doctor said was right. He would live with it, he just needed time.      “Conquer over it, Mr. Reed. We all have a past we wish to escape, but if you live in the past, there will be no future. To live is without fear.” She paused to offer her hand and Toby took it shakily. “Drive safely, I’ll see you again next week.” Toby left not long after. His long strides took him into the street and under the soft drizzle of rain. He stopped momentarily to catch his breath. He clearly didn’t expect Dr. Tuft to end the session with such bold advice. Then again, Dr. Tuft was always blunt, a quality that he both hated and liked. He trekked through the cobbled ground and climbed into his truck. He had to lean down a little to avoid hitting his head, thanks to his six-foot-three height. It was after a whole minute passed when Toby realized he was crying. Warm streaks of tears rolled down his cheeks.  His eyes found the empty seat next to him painful to see. ‘She used to sit there’, he thought, cradling himself. Flashbacks began to play in the back of his mind like a cinema. He remembered how the wind brushed against her hair, the way she smiled so happily. He remembered how they used to love driving around the city without any destination in mind.  Just the two of them and some random music playing on the radio. It was so simple and yet it was the one memory he most treasured.      “Promise to always love me?.. Toby?”  He could hear her voice in his head, the sultry voice that he adored. In front of his eyes, he saw her. She was sitting in her summer dress with sadness painted over her pale face. No, she was not real, Toby knew he was just another illusion. It wasn’t the first time. He gritted his teeth and looked away, shaking his head.      “Leave…”  Stunned. Toby had never heard that before.  His heart dropped and it was as if all the air within his lungs got sucked out with force when his eyes landed on her. Amanda was bleeding through her eyes and nose, the blood was so thick and it kept pouring out like water out of a faucet.  Toby felt like screaming. This had never occurred before. This was something new. Something grim.     “Leave, Toby…” She cried as she twitched, her bones cracking and her neck bent to the side like something just pulled it with immense power. Toby backed himself against the door, no sound other than small whimpers escaped through his mouth. All the hair on his body stood like a cat being spooked.  Then out of nowhere, a loud shriek came from the backseat and a long tiny hand rose forward and grabbed Toby by his arm. It was bloody, so small and thin… it was a baby’s hand. Then another shot out from behind, covering one of his eyes. But the true horror was when he heard the small voice, a childlike voice, but it sounded so wrong and distorted.     “Daddy…” The young man swung the door open and launched himself out of the truck, landing hard on his back in the puddles. Rain was pouring hard, he couldn’t hear anything other than a loud ringing in his head and his vision was so blurry that all he saw… was red. Toby gasped for air. “What the hell…” The Binding: Pinetrail Farm Somewhere in the forest, a man watched a girl bleed out on the cold grass. Her mocha skin had gone pale as her time was nearing. Her rich brown eyes were wide open, staring weakly at the man who caused her pain. The man looked down on his victim, staggering in his stance as he breathed out. "She nearly escaped." An older woman's voice chimed in. "She's got you beaten up." The man's eyes rolled in his sockets, biting his tongue while veins began to pop in his temples. "I am not as strong as I used to be. Hopefully this will be my last." Defeated, he backed away from the dying girl with the knife still in his right hand and harder he gripped the bloody sharp object. "No matter. It will begin soon," The woman stared at the girl's dying state, gazing so soft as a feather as she held on to an umbrella. "This was never about us or you, love. We have no interest in killing... we're just doing our best to serve." Her voice whispered under the breeze, so soothing that the girl could almost form a pleading look except that her time was finally up. She laid motionless with her blood that kept coming out of the numerous cuts on her skin. Those weren't simply cuts, as they formed letters and signs. Sygils. The woman then bent down and laid a knife next to the girl's face. "And so it begins." The woman said, closing her eyes.