Bound to love you

Chapter 2

Martha dropped me off in my driveway and said her goodbye before driving off. I walked into the house and found my mom in the kitchen as always, that really upset me.

" hey Mom" I greeted, " hey sweetie how was school? " she asked

" school was very interesting today, guess what, Martha found her mate" a big smile appeared on my mom's face, like I knew it would.

"really?!! that's interesting alright, who is the guy?"

" yeah it is interesting, it's Josh Smith!" she shrieked like a little girl, " are you being serious, wow, I'm happy for her" my mom knows everything that happens to us because I love telling her about my day, she's always ready to listen to me.

" yes I am too, she just turned eighteen and she found her mate, she can love him longer because she met him sooner" I said with a smile on my face. my mom looked at me with a knowing look, she knew I wanted to be in love but I didn't want to be in a relationship like hers, she always told me that everyone is different and that my mate would treat me better than hers ever did, but I couldn't believe that, I had no proof of that, how would I ever believe that to be true.

After talking to her for a little while longer I went up to my room. I set my bag down and sat in my bed looking out the window, my thoughts taking the best of me.

Martha is only days older than me and it will be my birthday soon, what happens when I find mate after my birthday, will I be able to reject him and move on like nothing ever happened, what if he really wants me, kidnaps me and keeps me away from the rest of the world.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of these thoughts, they are getting wild again.

I got up and out of my room to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water, just as I got into the I heard my dad's car pull up the driveway, I sucked in a breath, I was nervous, not for me but for my mom. Don't get me wrong I loved my father and he loves me, I'm his little princess after all, but it's how he treats my mom that worries me. My dad has set some rules that she is supposed to follow, some rules like she should not talk back to him or look into his eyes when he's talking and just so many others that it pains me to talk about. Does he really expect me to do the same when I find my mate, that's tough luck because I'm not ready to submit to anyone. I'm not going to be anyone's puppet. But I understand my mother, I understand her reasons for staying with such a man, she has loved my father since the day she found him, that first look, his scent, his smile, everything pulled her in to him and since then she was a goner. She loved him to an extent of submitting to him, she lost her will to argue, her right to fight back, she just let go, in order to be with the man she loves. She endures the heart break each and every day that my dad rejects her, but she's in too deep to try and fight back, to try and change. That's the main reason I do not want a mate. Having a mate makes you weak, it puts you in a vulnerable position, it allows you to be controlled by the other person, you lose you're voice, your courage and confidence. I do not want that, not being mated is a privilege to me.

But the main reason my mom stayed was because of me, she knew that letting go of my dad was letting go of me and though she loves my dad, she loves me much more.

I remember the day my dad and her where arguing, I was listening to their conversation, I never loved it when my parents argued, but I understood the situation, they always argued anyway, but that night was different, I heard something I was definitely not supposed to hear. My mother's cracked voice, it was just a whisper but I heard it as she said she was leaving and she was never coming back, my dad did not try to stop her, he let her go, he moved on and at that moment I heard my heart break, I didn't want to live a life without my mother, I didn't want to come home from school and not find her in the house, I didn't want to come home and not have anyone to tell about my day, to laugh at my silly jokes, I did not want to pick up the broken peices of my heart, I knew they would get broken all over again, so I run to my room, locked the door and cried, I cried because I would not have my mother around, I cried because I knew just how much my mother needed to let go of my father, I cried because my mother would let go of me too but mostly I cried because my Dad did not fight for the woman he was destined to be with, he did not even try and that broke my heart all over again. Since that night, I have never wanted a mate, because he would just give up on me, he would let go of me and he will not fight for me. I knew my mom's heart was broken because there's no pain that is compared to the one given by the rejection of your mate, I did not want to experience such pain, so I said never will I accepted my mate my heart was already broken, after that I have never looked at my father in the same light as I used to. To this day I wonder if it pains him to treat my mom the way he does, to refrain from her touch, how her smile brightens up your mood, how assuring her hug is, I still wonder, but maybe we might never know.

I still don't know why my mom never left after that night, I didn't stay to hear the rest of the conversation, my heart was broken enough, I didn't think I'd survive any more heart break. But I'm glad she stayed, I'm glad e get to see her every day.

The question is, for how long will she stay, when exactly is she planning on going....

" Mallory dear are you not going to come give your dad a hug" my thoughts were interrupted by my dad's voice, I looked up and put a smile on my face " hey Daddy, welcome home" I said as I walked towards him and gave him a hug, he pulled me in and hugged me back

" how are you doing princess" he asked

" I'm doing alright Dad, how are you doing?"

" I'm fine, how is school going?"

"school is fine" I said as I walked away. Seeing my dad brings back memories I would not that to think about, so I usually just try to avoid him.

I walk up the stairs and into my room, I get my phone and put my headsets on, I scroll through the playlist until I find my comfort song ' it's conditional by Tracy Chapman '

It's conditional, not for free there are strings attached, tied to me I'll want something back, you agree to be in love with me.

As the song played on I felt both relaxed and agitated, this song had so much meaning, love is supposed to be a two way thing, it's give and take. When push comes to shove you're both in it together.

" Mallory can I come in?" my dad shouted from the other side of the door.

" yeah, come in" I said, he opened the door and walked to where I was laying.

" Can I talk to you" he asked, " yeah, talks the word" I replied

" Mal......." he said, he was quiet for a really long time.

" I didn't want to say anything, I had nothing to say to him"

" Mal what happened to us, I think you've been avoiding me did I do something wrong?" he asked, with a pleading look in his eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look at his eyes for long, those eyes hold so much hate and resentment when they look at my mom.

" No dad, it's nothing like that, I have not been avoiding you." I said, I couldn't tell him that everything was okay, everything was not okay, he indeed did something wrong, but if I told him that, I'll have to tell him exactly what he did wrong and I'm not sure how he'll react. Will he even do something about it, will he change if I tell him, I can not be assured of that and I will not risk telling him anything. I looked anyway but at him, I didn't want to see the look in his eyes.

" Can you excuse me dad, I have some homework to do" I said, he looked at me for a while " okay, have fun" he said as he walked out. I sighed in relief, what next.