Piece of me

The ritual Chapter 7

Under the silvery glow of the moonlight I knelt on the wet ground. My arms drenched in a sticky maroon substance. Legs covered in mud & grit from the road. I don't recognise this place. There's nothing familiar in my surroundings. Even the body in my arms is unrecognisable. I notice the familiar car in the distance. Its destroyed. No sign of life anywhere. I cling to Jay's lifeless corpse begging him to come back to me...

The warm touch of the sunlight across my face stirs my senses back to reality. I lay still, my eyes open, unable to move yet as I come to terms with another nightmare. Though the nightmares have changed, they haven't improved. If anything they're worse.

As I gradually regain control of my limbs I reach for my phone to check the time. Its 9.43am.

Mum will already have left for work. I don't have long now.

I dashed to my dresser & grabbed the first item of clothes I could find. I pulled on my white summery maxi dress & a cardigan & slipped on my ballet pumps.

I grabbed my bag of crystals & a lighter from my drawer.

Rushing down the stairs I lost my balance & almost fell. Not the best way to get to the bottom.

I grabbed a chocolate bar to eat on the way from the kitchen, before slipping my handbag over my shoulder, locking up the house & getting in my car.

I drove to the far end of town by the woods. After parking I made my way in to the woods trying to find my way up towards the grave. It took me a while to find the right spot. I finally found the wall & followed it closely until I saw the church.

Before climbing over the wall I made sure no one was around. It was empty thankfully. The sky had turned grey & gloomy. I just hoped that the rain would hold off for a while. Today was important.

I got everything out ready & waited for the exact time of Jay's death. The grave was a little different to my dream. It wasn't freshly covered by mud like it always appeared in my nightmares. It was covered in limestones. I guess the nightmares couldn't be completely accurate.

At exactly 11.03am. I lit the smudge stick blowing on it to help the flame to take, once ready I began passing the peridot through the smoke whilst setting my intention

"I want to communicate with Jayden Phillips"

Next the celestite. & finally I removed the necklace Jay & I chose together. "I want to communicate with Jayden Phillips, please talk to me Jay".

I placed the peridot necklace around my neck & the obsidian necklace on Jays grave, underneath some limestone so it would remain hidden & connected to Jay. With the sage still lit & celestite in my hand I repeated "I want to communicate with you Jay".

"I'm here". Standing in front of me was Jay, just like in my the dream where he told me to go see Serene.

"Jay, I can see you, how is that possible?"

"You already had the gift. You just needed to open yourself up to it & create a way for us to connect".

"I miss you so much Jay."

"I miss you too. Em, listen, there's something you need to know".

"What?"

Suddenly an expensive car screeched around the corner & in to the church car park. A tall, immaculately dressed man got out of the drivers side & headed right towards the graveyard.

"Oh damn. I have to get out of here".

"Excuse me" the voice of the man called out to me. "How did you know my brother?"

I scrambled to my feet, jumped over the wall & started running for my life. Hudson Phillips tried to catch up to me, calling after me trying to get my attention, but I just kept on running. I couldn't risk him knowing who I was. I could get in to so much trouble for crossing through the woods to come here. As I continued racing through the trees the heavens opened up & it began to rain. Great, now I'd get soaked as well as ruining the ritual.

As soon as I was sure I wasn't being followed I stopped for a few minutes to catch my breath. I walked quickly back to my car & returned home hoping I hadn't lost my chance to communicate with Jay.

After changing my clothes I returned downstairs to grab some food. I'd just made a cup of tea & some toast when I turned around to go & sit down only to see Jay had been standing behind me.

"Argh, damn it. You frightened me. Can't you at least warn me next time?"

"Sorry I wasn't sure if you could still see me. I guess the ritual worked well then".

"You could say that. I almost got caught Jay".

"I don't think my bro would've told anyone. I think he was more baffled than anything. He's normally the only person who visits my grave".

"I'm really sorry Jay".

"It's not your fault. I know you never stopped thinking of me Em".

"I can't cope with you not being here. I'd give anything to have you back".

"I would give anything to be back. I hate to see you hurting & not being able to comfort you." Jay's hand slid right through my arm as he tried to grab me. "I'd do anything to be able to touch you."

"I know its not much, but I'm glad I can see & hear you again."

"I have to tell you something about that day" Jay insisted.

"What?"

~~~~~~~ Hudson's POV ~~~~~~~

3 years ago today my brother died. I never did understand how he got in to that car accident. He was such a careful driver. No evidence of who hit his car was ever discovered.

Where was he even going that day? No one seemed to know. It was so hard to understand & process his death. Without answers, all I had was grief & questions. My older brother was the only person I could really stand ever since mum died. My father is a complete swine & to this day, I'm convinced he had something to do with my mothers death.

I had no proof of course, but I had my suspicions. He married & moved in his mistress almost immediately. Mum was barely cold in the ground.

The mistress is an insufferable woman. It was all I could do to bed her behind my fathers back.

My head is pounding this morning. I can barely remember last night. As I roll over I see another naked bimbo beside me. She looked in a worse state than me. I quietly fumbled for my painkillers in the bedside drawers. I dry choked down 2 paracetamol before heading for a shower to cleanse away my sins.

God I hope that creature is gone when I get out of the shower. The refreshing feel of the hot water cascading down my body helps ease the pain of my hangover. I enjoy the shower for as long as I can bear to stand. My head feels a little better now.

I slip in to my walk in closet & get dressed. I chose my best charcoal grey trousers, a white shirt & grey jacket with my favourite black shoes.

I left the house before my conquest woke up. She was the staffs problem now.

I'd grab breakfast later. Its 11am & I need to spend some time with my brother.

I pulled up to the gates of the mansion & waited to be let out. After a short drive I soon pulled in to the church car park. I hated this day desperately. I was so lonely without my brother. Jay was secretive, but he always looked out for me. He was the sensible one. He kept me out of trouble.

Whilst climbing out of my car I noticed a woman dressed in white. I'm sure she's next to Jay's grave. Who on earth is she? I had never witnessed anyone else ever visit his grave. I strolled through the graveyard. It is his grave. She's talking to him.

My presence startles her.

"Excuse me" I attempt to get her attention. "How do you know my brother" I question as the blonde woman rushes towards the wall & scuries away from the graveyard, dashing through the woods as fast as she can. I sprint towards her but can't match her speed as I trip over my own feet. "shoot". She was out of sight before I knew what even happened. I stood for a moment wondering who she was before remembering my reason for coming here.

Next to Jay's grave lay a small, worn red handbag. It must belong to the mystery girl. "What secrets have you been keeping from me Jay".

It began to rain so I picked up the bag & darted back to the cover of my car.

That girl is definitely not from round here. She headed down towards the working class part of town. Her clothes & bag indicated she was poor. Why would a woman from the poor part of town be risking getting caught to visit my brother's grave?

I emptied the contents of the handbag on to my passenger seat. Out came a chocolate wrapper, lip balm, a couple of receipts & a purse. Inside the purse was some loose change, a bank card & a few shop discount cards. Her name is Emma King. I pulled out my phone & immediately typed her name in to f*******:. Several results came up, but only one local. The profile picture was of a familiar beautiful young blonde woman. It must be her. It says she works at cafe time out. I remember that place. My father held a party there recently. That's why she looks familiar. She must have worked that night.

Tut tut Jay. What else haven't you told me bro?

I stalked through her f*******:. Her likes & dislikes. Her posts. Photos. Friends list. My brothers account was in her friends list.

She was very attractive. She had lots of pictures of the beach on there.

When my stomach started growling I decided it was time to grab breakfast. I sat with my hands on the wheel pondering where to eat. I knew Emma wasn't in work today so I couldn't return her bag to her yet.

I could ask when she'd be in though. I needed to speak to her. Starting up my car I made my way to the main gate & down the hill to the town below. I pulled up at cafe time out & dashed inside trying not to get soaked on the way.

A young woman with mousy hair & glasses was serving. Her name tag said Beth.

"Hello, can I get you anything?" spoke the gentle voice.

"Yes" I glanced the menu quickly. "A pot of tea & a full English please".

"No problem, that'll be £6.50 please. Choose a seat & I'll bring it to when you're ready".

I handed a £10 note across & told her to keep the change.

I sat at the closest table, it was facing the counter. Once my tea arrived I casually asked Beth when Emma would be in next.

"Emma's in tomorrow. Would you like me to give her a message?" she asked.

"No its fine. I'd rather speak to her myself. Thank you".

Beth nodded & walked away.

I glanced around the place. The cafe was nicely kept. A good size. I could just about make out the way towards the party room. How had I only been here once? It seems such a great place. Its popular here by the looks of things. The tables were nicely spaced so you don't feel crushed in. Decorated tastefully. They even have a decent selection of cakes & pastries on display by the counter.

My phone rang as I was enjoying my first cup of tea. Its my dad. No doubt calling to complain again.

"Hello" I reluctantly answered. Ignoring him would only make things worse.

"That was some stunt you pulled this morning son" came the tone of my condescending father.

"What stunt?"

"Leaving your tart for the maid to deal with again".

"I had to leave. You do remember what today is right?"

"What? Oh, of course. That's not the point. Next time deal with your own conquests or at least take them to your own place."

"Not a chance. I don't need the crazies knowing my home address. Anyway, don't you think you should go visit Jayden today?

"I can't talk right now. I have business to attend to". he snapped. With that my father hung up, just as I knew he would.

My dad never discussed Jay with me. He took every painstaking opportunity to avoid the subject. I could never fathom why. Jay was his favourite son. I was the constant disappointment. Perhaps it was too painful for him. Afterall, there was no one to run & eventually take over his business investments now. I had my own businesses. Legit businesses. Nothing like my father's. I used the money mum left me to gain my independence.

I used my room at my dad's residence to avoid anyone knowing my actual addresses. The bonus was it wound him up.

I secretly owned a few properties. Sometimes I just needed somewhere to lay low. I even had a place in this part of town. It was on the nicer side. It had been done up by the previous owner. 2 properties knocked in to one. It was nice & spacious. A good place to hide from my father.

Beth reappeared with my breakfast. It was a good sized meal. She smiled at me as she set it down.

"That looks great thanks".

"If you need anything else let me know". She walked away & returned to serving other customers.

The food was definitely of good quality. Not like some places round here. It wasn't cheap processed rubbish. I'd definitely eat here again.

To be honest I could barely remember the last time I was here. I was already pretty plastered when I arrived for the party. My dad liked to pretend to be the great family man. It kept him in power to be seen in the best light. I had to drink to cope with keeping up the pretense.

Of course, my scandals were legendary. My father kept them out of the papers, he had that kind of pull. But word of mouth was much harder to cover up.

This meal was definitely what I needed. I felt much better after eating. I waved goodbye to Beth & left. Now the rain had stopped I could return to Jay's grave to spend some time with him.

I grabbed a bottle of brandy from the nearest shop & headed up to Jay's grave. I dumped my car at the mansion & walked back down. I knew I'd be in no fit state to drive after.

I was almost hoping the mystery girl would have returned for her belongings. Maybe I missed her? She must be missing her bag by now.

I sat on the side of Jay's grave. It was a raised grave made of marble & covered in limestones. I kept it tidy for him. I couldn't bear the thought of it not being looked after.

I opened the bottle of brandy & took a swig. "Cheers Jay".

Life just wasn't the same without him. I had no one to help make the council & business associate parties I was forced to attend bearable. We used to make bets on which gold digger would go after which rich person. Sometimes we placed bets on who would have some stuck up mare try to corner us first. It was usually Jay who got all the attention. He was the eldest & richer of the two of us. Even our relatives all favoured him so he had inherited well when our grandma on our mother's side passed away...

She despised me for looking more like my father. Jay took very much after our mother with green eyes, pale skin & dark hair. I was a honey blonde with blue eyes & darker skin like my dad. Unlike my father though, I was tall & well built. My father is shorter than me & of a slim build. He still had all his own blonde hair though, so I guess he had that going for him.

I continued drinking & poured a small amount on Jay's Grave.

"I'm sorry I went abroad Jay. I should've been here".

I left a year before Jay died. I needed to escape this place. I was too busy living it up. I wish I hadn't gone. We would've had more time together. I feel so guilty. "I always thought you'd be around Jay, I didn't ever think that tomorrow might not be promised. I just couldn't bear being around dad's floozy anymore".

After a couple of hours I had finished the bottle & talked as much as I could to my brother. I'm sure he's wondering why I bother to sit here & talk to him still. Its not like he can answer me. But I visit him often. I don't want him to be lonely.

I stumbled out of the graveyard & returned to the mansion. I was in luck, my dad was out. He clearly didn't want me to bring up Jay again. I went up to my room. There was a note with a phone number on it. Yeah right, like I'd repeat that mistake twice. I screwed it up & tossed it in the bin. As I was getting changed the door opened.

"Hudson".

"Don't you knock" I yelled.

"Oh sorry, I just wanted to let you know your dad will be out all night".

"Good for him". I snapped.

"I thought..."

"You thought wrong. Get out". I shouted at my vile stepmother.

"You didn't say that last time" she continued.

"That was before".

"Before what?"

"Before I realised what a rubbish lay you were. Now leave".

"Screw you Hudson". She stormed out slamming the door behind her.

I shuddered at the thought of that disgusting creature coming near me again.

Once dressed I left again. I couldn't face being stuck in so I went out to continue drinking. I just needed to get this day over with.

~~~~~~~ Emma's POV ~~~~~~~~

I realised too late that I'd lost my bag. I was just hoping I'd dropped it in the woods. The problem was, I don't even remember picking it up. I tried to retrace my steps this afternoon, but there was no sign of it. I even looked over the wall & I hadn't left it by the grave.

I went back to my car & searched under the seat & the back of the car. It was nowhere to be found. I returned to the house & searched again for it. "Damn it". My bank card is in there.

"Jay, did you see what happened to my bag?" I asked hoping he was still around. No answer. I wondered where he went to after our chat. He just said he had to go & disappeared.

I gave up looking & started making tea for myself. My mum would eat at bingo tonight with her friends. I made myself a pizza baguette with those part bake baguettes. It was quick & easy but tasted great. After eating I cleaned up & read for a couple of hours, while hoping Jay would reappear.

By 8pm I decided to run myself a bath. I got in to the hot bubble bath & lay down. The scent of lavender filling my nostrils as the warmth of water eased my aching legs. Running was definitely not my friend. I needed to relax after today. I couldn't bear another bad night. I really hope this lavender oil is worth it. It did smell lovely. I closed my eyes to just enjoy the feeling of warm water accompanying the sweet floral aroma.

After about 20 minutes the water felt a little cool so I washed my hair, shaved then got out. As I was wrapping the towel around my hair Jay reappeared in front of me.

"Man not again" I said as I jumped out of my skin. "I'll never get used to that".

"Sorry. I need a bell or something". He laughed.

"Where did you go? You were gone for a while".

"I went back to see my brother. He feels guilty about going to Greece. He visits my grave alot".

"You two were close, weren't you?"

"Yeah. I hated that he left, but I understand why. He shouldn't feel guilty".

"I'm sure he knows you understand".

"I don't think he does Em. He kept apologising for missing out on time with me before I died".

"I'm sorry.... Does he know?". I asked before hearing the door go. Mum was back.

"No. Anyway. Talk later" Jay answered.

I got dried & dressed before going downstairs to see my mum.

"How was bingo?"

"Great. I won £60" she smiled as she proudly held up her winnings.

"Nice."

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Ok. Quiet. I went out for a walk & lost my bag though".

"Did you retrace your steps?"

"Yeah, there was no sign of it".

"Oh dear. Have you cancelled your bank card?"

"Not yet. I will do though. Anyway I'm going to get an early night. See you in the morning".

"Are you sure? I thought we'd have a drink in honour of Jay?"

"Ok, just one though. I've got work tomorrow remember".

"Of course. Here" she poured me a glass of wine fresh from the fridge.

"To Jay". I said.

"Is that all you want to say?"

"Ok, To Jay, I miss you so much. You're always in my thoughts. I hope that wherever you are, you know that I'll always love you."

"To Jay. You were a lovely man. I know you are watching over us. & that you would want Emma to be happy. Cheers". She gulped down what was clearly not her first glass of wine of the night.

I sipped at mine & smiled but I knew what she meant by that last part. We sat together quietly while I reluctantly finished my glass of wine.

"Right, night mum".

"Night dear".

I headed upstairs & slid in to the comfort of my bed.

"Jay"

"Yes"

"Did you hear all that?"

"I did. I do want you to be happy you know."

"I know you do. I'm not interested in moving on though".

"I love you Em. You'll be ready one day. Love will just creep up on you at some point."

"I doubt that. I'm ok really. I have you again."

"Its not the same Emma. You know I can't stay with you forever".

"I don't understand why though".

"Because I don't belong here anymore. At some point I'll have to leave".

"Please don't talk like that" I cried.

"I'll stay as long as I can."

"Will you be with me tonight? I don't want to be alone"

"I will. You can sleep easy tonight".

Jay lay next to me on the bed. I wish I could hold him. It wasn't easy knowing we were so close yet still worlds apart. I closed my eyes & quickly fell asleep. Seeing Jay at least took some of my pain away.

I slept well that night. In my dream I could feel Jay. We were in our home, in our bed. He held me close, his hand cupping my face.

"I can touch you here". He said.

"I wish I never had to wake up".

"You don't mean that. You have to live for us both. Lets just make the most of this." He kissed me. He tasted exactly as I remembered. It felt so real.

My hands caressed his silky skin, desperate to remember the feel of him. Enjoy every breath of his scent.

I wrapped my legs around his torso. He was only wearing boxers. His firm chest was smooth & strong. Exactly as I remembered. My hand found it's way to his hair as I made the most of every sensation of Jay. Please don't let me wake up I thought.

Jay's hands explored my body just as eagerly. He gently placed kisses down my neck & towards my chest. "I've missed this so much" he told me.

He slid back up & his lips met mine, sinking in to our kissing rhythm I moaned in to his mouth. One of his hands held my face, his long fingers twisting round my hair. His other hand tightly gripping my naked buttock. His warmth surrounded me, easing the ache of my heart. I hadn't felt this relaxed in such a long time. Our bodies fit together just like they were 2 halves meant to be joined with each other. Jay was leading my dream so that we could enjoy this time together. I was grateful just to not be suffering another nightmare. But to be able to enjoy this closeness even though only in my dreams was what my soul needed. I couldn't ask for a better experience.

My eyes opened at the sound of my alarm. I smiled. Though it was a short dream I enjoyed it. I slept so peacefully I even woke up full of energy.

This is the most alive I've felt in months.