Piece of me

As fate would have it. Chapter 2.

The days following the council party were pretty uneventful. Work was busy with the weekend tourists. But other than that I stayed home. I couldn't stand to go out when the beach was busy. It made me so anxious being in crowded places. I could cope with a hefty workload, I was busy, back & forth. My mind had little time to think of anything beyond work.

Come Monday I was looking forward to the end of my shift. I knew Monday's were quiet & we could close early. Mrs Taylor never came in on Monday's, she detested the beginning of the week. Anyone would think she actually worked for a living.

I planned to go the beach after my shift. Now all was quiet I knew I could enjoy the peaceful sound of the crashing waves & light cackles of seagulls flying around looking for unsuspecting victims to peck food from.

I had asked my mother to pack up a picnic ready for 4pm. We always closed around 4pm to 4.30pm on Monday's.

I had just packed up the left over cakes & pastries to return to the bakery for marking down as Beth was cleaning up. Finally, we could leave. Ted never worked Monday's either. He needed a day in bed after a wild weekend. I didn't blame him though. He didn't have much else to look forward to. He was a lonely man.

My days off were typically Tuesdays & Thursdays. While Beth worked at least a few hours every day & some full days. Some of her days were shorter due to also taking care of her mother in law & the twins. She would much rather work than take care of that hateful old prune. But her mother in law was frail from a lifetime of heavy drinking & smoking, she required some level of care from qualified carers, but still expected Beth to look after her as well; for the most part because she could boss Beth around whilst making passive aggressive remarks about her competence. Mrs Matthews had paid for Beth's driving license solely for the benefit of being driven to places. She didn't even allow them her car that she was incapable of driving herself. She was too selfish to even consider how they may benefit from it, given that it sat there unused most of the time. No, she liked control & to have others at her beck & call.

It was a painful experience whenever Mrs Matthews came to the cafe. For Beth especially. Me & Ted weren't so easily phased though, she wasn't our family so we didn't have to watch ourselves quite so much. In fact, sarcasm had become our coping mechanism. Anything to ease Beth's burden. We were much like family here. We looked out for one another. The witty retorts often flew over mrs Matthews head anyway. She wasn't the brightest. But it did allow us some comedy along the way.

Today had been such a day, the dreaded monster in law liked to come here on Mondays. I empathised with Beth deeply over having to suffer the drive back alone with this uncivilised behaviour & back seat driving.

I said my goodbyes to Beth with a sympathetic hug before heading in to the bakery. Sally was on today. "Afternoon Sal, can you reduce these then sell them back to me please. Its picnic day".

"The gulls will have most of that at this time" she chuckled. She marked each item down & sold them back to me. "Here, say hi to your mum for me love. Enjoy your picnic".

"I will do, ta. See you next shift".

I walked home & mum was waiting patiently for me. Everything was packed & ready. "Sally says hi mum".

"Oh tell her I said hi back. I'll see her at bingo Thursday anyway. Ready to go?"

"Sure, I just need to use the toilet & change. I'll be 2 minutes".

"I've heard that before" she sarcastically called after me.

It wasn't worth arguing so I just continued with my task. I checked the mirror to see if I was presentable before being given the usual 'is that what you're wearing' speech by my mother. I looked ok. I took my hair down & brushed it. Wearing it up all day took its toll on me & by now my head was pounding. It felt good to have my hair loose for once. I was ready to enjoy a bit of free time.

My mother predictably looked me up & down as I arrived downstairs.

"It took you all that time to put so little on did it".

"We're only going to the beach mother. I might want to paddle in the sea so I chose shorts, ok?" It wasn't exactly a question. More a snarky offering. My denim shorts weren't even that short. & I had a yellow vest top & cream cardigan on, paired with black & silver sandals. It didn't exactly warrant a snippy remark. But my mother was raised to believe that women shouldn't even show their ankles because it attracted male attention. It wasn't really her fault, but still, my shorts only came confortably above my knees.

Not wanting to waste another second I grabbed the bags & hurried her out the door before she could find something else to complain about.

We settled on a nice spot near to the pier. The tide was coming in. It was an ideal day for enjoying the feel of the cool salty water on my skin.

I was absolutely ravenous by this point so I decided to just tuck in. Mum looked disapprovingly at me as I barely choked down the first half of my sandwich. But she didn't say anything this time. She knew I worked hard & with rarely any breaks to sustain myself.

"I managed to get these reduced, they're your favourites". Knowing my mother would be pleased with the extra treats. She looked through what was in the bakery bag & took out a pasty. The cheese & bacon pasties were the best. My mother looked delighted. It was rare I managed to get one of these. They sold out fast normally. The bakery was the only decent one in the town. The supermarket one's were the only competition, but they weren't anywhere near as popular being of lesser quality than our baked by the best baker in town variety.

I managed to chew the next half of my sandwich. But as I was about to swallow the last bite my mother decided to cause my throat to close up with the worst possible question.

"Its almost been 3 years, will you be doing anything for the date?".

I coughed & spluttered at this. My mother poured me some tea from the flask & handed it to me. "Spit it out, it might be a gold watch" she taunted.

I willingly drank as I attempted to dislodge the remaining crumbs digging uncomfortably in to my throat.

"I haven't decided" I finally managed whilst struggling to breathe.

"Its not far away now. We should do something. Maybe have a few people over for a drink & remembrance?"

"I honestly don't know. Its short notice & with work. I just don't know if I'm up for it". I meant it too.

My mother had good intentions, she believed it would help me grieve in my own way since I couldn't visit his grave. I'd never seen his grave. I couldn't attend the funeral despite being his fiance. I was too lower class & it would raise questions. Besides which the funeral was unusually small & uncovered by local news. For such a public figure to keep everything so closed off like that was questionable to say the least. Councillor Phillips loved to use the papers to his advantage & to sway the town with sympathy votes. Of course my mother believed that he just wanted to grieve in peace. I wasn't so sure.

After a brief chat about our day I wandered off to enjoy the sea. My mother stayed put to read her book. How I loved the feel of the waves crashing against my legs. It being warm I had to be mindful of jellyfish. I didn't bring any vinegar & it wasn't so easy to pee on myself if I got stung. So I had to keep an eye on my surroundings. There were a few parents here with their kids or dog walkers passing by, but for the most part it was peaceful. After a while I just sat on the sand watching the waves, eyes closed listening to the soothing sound of the water. It was blissful. I might even sleep well tonight after all this fresh air I thought.

After a couple of hours my mother had had enough. She was uncomfortable & it was starting to get chilly. We packed up & headed home.

"I'm off for a long hot bath, my hips playing up" mum painfully announced as she headed upstairs.

Ah peace. I can sit in the quiet for a while. I got myself a brew & sat comfortably, feet up on the sofa. I closed my eyes, I needed to just rest my weary eyes for a moment to allow my head to stop throbbing. I had already taken painkillers however they hadn't lifted the ache much. Closing my eyes & just being still usually helped.

"Come to my grave" came that familiar voice.

I was here in the graveyard again. How could I be here I only just got comfortable. I was more confused than ever at the dream. Had I just heard that right? I couldn't see him this time. Where was he?

"Jay, where are you? I'm at your grave".

"You have to visit my gra..." the voice trailed off but I heard it well enough.

Suddenly a screeching sound began piercing my ears, I stepped backwards, clutching my ears, as the soil began to move, bubbling up through the grave came pools of blood seeping towards me, I stepped back further & fell over another grave. As I cried out desperate for this nightmare to end I jumped at the touch of my mother's hand on my shoulder. Seeing the obvious look of horror on my face she said "bad dream again?"

"Worse this time".

"Its been going on for too long now, don't you think you should see the dr again"

"I tried, they said therapy could help but I can't afford it on my wages". I answered. "The best they could do was up my medication dosage".

"You need to let go of the past. Maybe meeting some new people could help?"

"I'm fine honestly. I have a lot going on with work & I'm focused on saving up to get my own place again".

"You know there's no rush for you to move out" My mother hid her desperation for me to stay, but I knew she dreaded being alone ever since my dad passed away last year. She had enjoyed having me here ever since Jay's dad found a way to evict me from 'our home' on some made up technicality. We'd lived together for 7 months in that house. I was surprised it took him that long to push it through to be honest. It took him a while to evict me. Jay owned the place, even though it was our home that we shared the living costs of. In the end the head councillor had massive pull over this city. Jay put up the fee & he had bought it as a surprise, so the deed was in his name. & despite being engaged & his commonlaw wife, the house eventually defaulted to his father. No doubt as a result of a few dodgy handshakes & cash gifts to his powerful friends. Despite it being our home in every possible way, including legal, they used the fact we weren't actually married as a way to steal the house back. It helped that our relationship had been kept quiet except for a few close friends knowing.

The head councillor couldn't possibly have a lower class person residing in one of the better homes befitting of the middle class rank. The middle class homes were as close as was allowed to the gated communities. Right before the winding road to the upper class estate, was a hidden estate, the middle class estate. A road turned down the side of the hill & many nice houses were tucked away there. It was far more beautiful than what we were allowed to live in. Hidden away just enough so that tourists & weekend drinkers couldn't disturb the peace.

It wasn't inaccessible like the gated community. But it wasn't anywhere you would go by mistake either. It was adequately far enough to keep away the riff raff. All the houses had good sized gardens too. That was uncommon here for the working class, but not unheard of.

My family did have a garden. We were fortunate. It wasn't massive, but we could sit out there & enjoy the sun on good weather days. There was enough space to have a few people over for a BBQ too. Something we used to do before my father passed away. He loved BBQs. It was the only time he cooked.

I was lucky to be able to move back home after I was evicted. My parents had worked hard to buy this house years ago when the housing market crashed, so I'd always have a home at least. It held fond memories for me so I was glad we owned it.

"I know mum, I just would like to get my own place at some point"

"Fair enough, you'll always have a home here though. You should get some rest anyway, you're clearly knackered".

"Yeah the weekend was a killer. I'll see you tomorrow, night mum".

"Night".

I took a quick bath before climbing in to bed. I left my hair wrapped up in my towel. I didn't use heat appliances on my hair. I was blessed with very healthy locks for it. My long blonde hair naturally fell in to smooth waves. Though it was rare I wore it down. Its not really hygienic to have hairs falling in to customers food. On my days off though I always wore my hair down. It was the only time I didn't suffer the headaches from my hair being tightly tied up.

I sat on my bed in just my towel for a while. I often did this, just sitting after a bath. It takes me a while to gather the energy needed to put on fresh pjs. After dressing for bed I allow my hair to fall from my towel. I carefully brush through it, its still quite damp. I'll feel the cold tonight. It wasn't quite summer yet. It was spring & though the days could be warm, the nights were still chilly.

I grabbed an extra blanket to wrap around me under my duvet, took my pills & settled for the night. I was trying something new tonight. I ordered some valerian root pills on sss they arrived today while I was at work. Anything to try & get some uninterrupted sleep.

I woke the next morning. I hadn't had a full nights sleep in such a long time. I had dreamt but not the usual nightmare. I just had weird dreams. Perhaps it was the valerian. Or maybe it was the fact I had my nightmare before going to bed. I wasn't sure. I'd have to try the pills again tonight to see.

Mum was already gone by the time I got up. She'd left me a note saying that she didn't want to disturb me, with a shopping list of things we needed. Mum worked in the bookies. She'd been there a few months now. The hours suited her & she didn't have a mortgage anymore so she could afford to work less than full time. It kept her in touch with people also after losing my dad. She'd left her previous job due to the boss not being understanding around the time of my dads death & funeral. My mum didn't even take much time off. & she rarely ever had time off in all the years she'd worked there. But being reprimanded at that time was too much & she handed in her notice after giving the boss a speech about the value of a good worker.

It was the shop that suffered in the end. The community may be small but we stick together. Friends & friends of friends refused to shop there ever again. It gave the competition a good boost too. Enough to upgrade by extending in to the empty shop next door.

I buttered my toasted bagels & made a cup of tea before sitting in front of the tv. I put my favourite show on netflix as I enjoyed my breakfast, whilst being cautious not to drop any crumbs. Mum would go mad if she knew I was eating in here.

I was interrupted by my phone ringing. It was mrs Taylor. I was adamant that I was not working today. I reluctantly answered. "Hello".

"Ah, you're up, I need you to pick up some cakes from the bakery & deliver them to 33 Swan lane"

"Its my day off Mrs Taylor, can't the on staff do it?"

"You're the only one with a car. I need these delivering today. They're for the council meeting".

"You have a car" I dangerously remarked without thinking. I slapped my hand to my head as I realised I'd thought outloud.

"I am a very busy woman & you are required to take care of tasks like this in your contract. You can pick them up now & go straight there. When you buzz the gate tell them Mrs Taylor has sent the cakes for the council's meeting. They'll let you in".

"I really don't..." The phone cut off before I could object further. I was furious. This woman never did a day's work in her life & was all too happy to use up my petrol for her business, without pay or compensation for my lost fuel. & on my day off.

I got dressed & drove to the bakery. I was in no mood for small talk. I just wanted to get this over with. I then drove up the hill to the main gate. I told them my business there & was finally buzzed in, after they confirmed my reason for coming.

I drove the rest of the way, looking out for the address. It was in the centre. The big council building. I hadn't been here before so I didn't know. It seemed silly to not realise where the meeting would be held after I parked.

I rushed in with the cakes & told reception what they were for. Of course I was expected to carry them through to the meeting room. Obviously it was too hard a task for anyone here. I was greeted by a disgruntled council member at the meeting door.

"Those should've been here half an hour ago. Its not good enough".

"I apologise, mrs Taylor only gave me the order 40 minutes ago & I was delayed by the main gate checking I was here for valid reason, since they weren't notified".

"There's no time for excuses. Take the cakes to the table".

I plonked the cakes on the table, not bothering to sort them & swiftly left. I heard the woman start to complain but as far as I was concerned I'd done all I was going to do.

I had already overstepped my mark by daring to point out their own incompetence. I would most likely regret that later.

The council sure did hold a lot of meetings & parties. All paid for by us of course. It was vital to improving services apparently. That's why they needed the most expensive champagne to get legless on of course. Well, someone certainly benefitted from these meetings but it certainly wasn't the ordinary people.

On the drive back down I felt relieved. I drove slowly deciding to be nosey at how the other half live. I felt envious of their good lives. It wasn't that they worked harder than us. They were just more fortunate in connections & family wealth. Most of them got rich by way of theft. Cutting corners in their businesses, money laundering & not paying taxes. They knew how to fiddle the system. That's what their accountants were for.

The town itself had been taken over by gangsters many years ago. Along with their connections they now ran the place. This was common knowledge to most of us. Though some preferred to remain ignorant to that fact. They continued to have the upper hand by scaring off the original business owners & taking over everything. This & the fact the town was almost entirely cut off from the rest of the world, except for allowing in tourists who paid well for a visitation card. Which was shown as ID in every shop, cafe, restaurant or service.

It was almost impossible to escape here. The rich could come & go. But it wasn't so easy for the rest of us. We needed a reason & a special license to leave. Even if it was for work. It was costly. So we remained prisoners of this unjust class system. & of course if we couldn't find work locally, we had to search further away. So either way the council benefitted from this. The whole thing was backwards.

I turned right upon noticing a church. It looked familiar. It was as I pulled towards it that I realised I recognised it from my dream. How was this possible? The details of the dream were so vivid & this was an exact replica of the graveyard in my dream, except it looked still & peaceful. It was beautifully kept. Each grave in pristine condition. I climbed out of the car & walked towards the far side of the graveyard, next to the wall by the woods. I had to see it. I had to know.