Broken Pieces

Untitled Episode 19

After getting to my cabin, Oscar stayed one day with me. We were on our way to drop him off at that airport. He is going back to the city. Driving back to my cabin, I stopped at the store for some groceries. Pulling out my list, I grabbed a basket and began getting what I needed. I’m standing by the meat when I feel like someone is watching me. I pick out my meat, and walk down the aisle for vegetables. I make my way to the end of the aisle fast and hide at the end cap. I peek around the corner to see who is following me. God dam it, I walked back to my basket and saw Axle adding juice to the basket. What are you doing here is freaking me out. Reiley, I’m here to make sure you're safe, but since you spotted me in the meat section watching you, Axle said. Figured I would add to the groceries, so I have stuff I like too. Bossed orders are to stay with you. "Hope you have a room for me, or I can camp outside if needed," Axle said. You are not staying with me Axle; they have hotels in the area for you to stay at. I will inform your boss about the same thing. What does he not understand about I need time. I’m checking out now and you will go away. Axle laughs at me; we both know that you are stuck with me. The boss isn’t going to agree to your wishes, he may let you think your alone. I mean, if you didn’t spot me, you would never have known I was here. But let's be for real Reiley. You are a smart woman and would have caught on sooner rather than later. "I saw you kill 10 or more men a few weeks away," Axle said. I’m going with you. Why hide in the shadows now? "You know I’m here, and it would make my life easier," Axle said. Because my boss will not let me leave. Fine Axle, let’s get more groceries and go back to my cabin. I have to find a tent for you.

Axle followed me back to my cabin. On the drive here, I made the choice that he could stay in the guest room. Axle helped me unload the groceries; he asked me where the tent was so I could put it up before dark. Get your bag Axle, you can stay in my extra room. Sorry it’s not the best guest room. I never thought I would need it for a guest. Axle. This cabin is small. It has 2 rooms and, as you can see, an open living room and kitchen. "Reiley, it’s a cute little cabin. "I’m going to get my bags, Axle said. I went to the bathroom closet for some bedding to make up the guest bed. Going to the kitchen to wet a rag to whip down the dust in the guest room. Axle comes back in with 4 bags; I tell him to follow me. I showed him the room and handed him the wet rag. You can take care of the dust and get settled. I’m going to my room and make sure to report back to your boss. Tell him, he has won this round for now. Axle bust out laughing. You do know he will win every round right Reiley. "I’m glad we get to become best friends," Axle said to me as I walked out of the room.

I slammed my door; just great I have an unwanted guest now. Sitting on my bed, I started to think about having Axle here. How on earth can this man just send someone to babysit me? The longer I sit here, the more I get mad. Pulling out my phone, I call Lorenzo, it goes to voicemail. So, I texted him

LN: You really sent a babysitter. You do know I can take care of myself.

It has been 10 minutes, and he still hasn’t texted or called back. Putting my phone in my pocket, I stormed out of my room. Axle, have you spoken to your boss yet? He pops his head out of the room and says nope. Just great I say, I’m going for a walk. No, I don’t need you to tag along. Keep your big ass here. I know my property and there isn’t any danger got it Axle. You got a deal Reiley, I will stay here and, if you’re not back before dark, I will come get you. See you before dark Axle, I storm out of the cabin. I walked to the little river running along my property and I sat down and watched the water run by. I feel buzzing in my pocket, pulling out my phone, I saw 4 missed calls and 4 texts.

LN: tried calling you back

LN: Why are you not answering my calls?

LN: Axle said you went for a walk.

LN: call or text me back

Reiley: I will call you back when I get back to the cabin

I stayed by the river for about another hour.

Walking into the cabin, I smelled food being cooked. Taking a seat on the couch, I tell Axle thank you for cooking dinner. Did you talk to your boss? "He called and said you're not answering any calls or messages," Axle said. Yes, I texted him back. I’m going to be honest with you. I was beyond pissed when I left for my walk. Your boss is so annoying, you know that. I told him I needed space, and he sent you to babysit me. What does he not understand about needing time for me to come to terms with everything? My life was turned upside down 48 hours ago. I just want to deal with my thoughts alone. I need to work out all the mess in my head to make the correct decisions about moving forward. Reiley come eat, Axle said as he put the food on the table. I sat down across from Axle. Thank you again for making dinner. Axle nods his head at me. Can I ask you some questions Reiley, Axle said. Shoot, you can ask me anything and I don’t want to answer, I will say skip. He laughs at me; you do know that is very childish, right Axle said. Just ask me what you want to Axle.

Why are you fighting so hard against everything, the first time I met you? I had no clue who you were, you fought next to me like a perfect soldier. It wasn’t till we boarded the plane and I reported back to my boss about how the mission went, that I found out who you were and why you got out of the SUV," Axle said. You see Axle, which is part of the mess in my head. I have worked with Raven for 6 years now. I have no clue what she is or does outside when I help her out. I have fought so hard to hide the dark side of my soul for years now. It is like the damn universe is pushing me to where I belong. With all that, I have been through and done. I like to control how my life goes and with in a month it has blown up. I feel like I have no more control, so my fighting instinct kicks in. The problem with this is, I have been fighting the world and demons alone all my life. How do I trust someone to let them in? Will they hurt me like everyone else has? Reiley, the universe has its way of correcting its mistakes. You have a chance to move forward with fixing past mistakes. You have to learn to trust yourself again and let people love you. "You desire happiness, you have been hiding in the dark too long," Axle said. Axle, how can someone love me when I’m in broken pieces bleeding out on the floor? Axle, I will clean up since you cooked. Sounded like a plan, boss lady Axle said and walked to his room.

Put in my earbuds and turned on my favorite soundtrack. I started cleaning up the table and kitchen. After 30 minutes, I’m done cleaning up after dinner. Walking to my room, I took my earbuds out and put them on the charger. Sitting on my bed looking at my closed door, I’m starting to think of the conversation with Axle. Am I making this harder than I should? He made it sound like it was a simple fix. My head hurts so much, it’s a scrambled mess. I changed into my pajamas and went to get a whiskey on ice. Sitting on my porch swing, I set my drink down and pulled my phone out. I dial my mom’s number, hope she answers. Hello, how are you doing, sweet girl Mom said. I’m falling apart mom; you and dad didn’t have to take me in. But you did. "You showed me so much love and I have pushed you away over the years. "My girl, you haven’t pushed us away, we will always be here for you," Mom said. We understand why you have been distancing yourself. You have been like that since the day we adopted you. We know that is how you handle things. You believe no one loves you and have to stay away. What you don’t see is the way we are still here. We love you always and will never abandon you. "Open your eyes, my sweet girl, stop running away," Mom said. I love you mom, good night. Good night sweet girl, we love you too.

Taking a drink of my whiskey, my mom is right. They have loved me through it all. They have dealt with everything and gave me my space to heal. Even from a distance, they never stopped loving me. Time for me to come back into the light. I call Lorenzo, he answers and says Hello my angel. Sorry it's late, are you sleeping? If so, I can call you back later. "No, you don’t have to call me back. "Are you OK? Lorenzo asked. Lorenzo, I would like you to come and replace Axle. "If I’m going to have a babysitter, I would like to be you. "We can go over everything about my father. "I can come now if you want, said Lorenzo. No, you can go back to sleep and come tomorrow. It is almost 3am in the morning. After talking to my mom earlier and drinking half a bottle of whiskey. I need to go to bed. I just wanted to call you back like I said. Thank you for answering my call. Good night. I will see you tomorrow. Good night Reiley and see you tomorrow, said Lorenzo. Grabbing my glass, I took it to the kitchen sink. Going into my room, I hear Axle phone. Poor guy, I think to myself as I get ready for bed. I will have to do something nice for Axle since it looks like that man is stuck with my ass. Closing my eyes to the world for some sleep.