The Clumsy Designer

Chapter 7

"Can't wait for that conference week of our lovely professors," Nichole says, mumbling beneath her breath.

"You said it," I said, agreeing with her as we both focused back on our attention to Miss Vera who was shouting like a mad woman wanting to imprint on us the essence of fashion.

"Fashion is not just a job that gives us fame and money, it also tells our story," Miss Vera says again, tuning her voice to be louder than ever as if her current voice was not loud enough.

"You!"

Perplexed, my heart skipped a beat when she suddenly pointed to me.

"Yes, Miss Vera?" I stood up from my chair and gave her a smile, while internally dying and wanting to slap her- but no I will not do that. As much as she always gives us headaches, she was one hell great of a mentor.

"You're the daughter of one of the richest men in the world. What can you say about fashion?" She then held her stick to the ground and looked me directly in the eye, wanting to embarrass me.

I don't know about her, but she dislikes rich people for a reason that I don't know. Hence, being the daughter of what she said, it only adds fuel to the fire.

Diverging my thoughts away from her, I then think to give her the answer she's probably wanting to hear.

"You're taking too long-"

"Fashion is not just about designing clothes so people can remember how great your skills and ideas were. Fashion is not used to belonging in the crowds. Fashion is acceptance and confidence. Why acceptance? Because when you walk down in crowded New York Streets, you see a lot of branded clothes. But when you don't make much money, and decide to accept it, that's one big step in having your fashion style. Why confidence? Because even if it's Gucci, Versace, Givenchy, Giorgio Armani, Chanel and all other high-end brands you want to name... it will never suit you without confidence. But when you walk in the crowded New York Streets, it doesn't matter even if you're wearing garbage, because when you have confidence... all attention turns to you. And that is the essence of Fashion, for me," I said it in one breath, after my speech I stopped to take a few calming breaths.

And as I recall my words, I smile.

Then I heard claps and cheers around me, I felt all their eyes at me but my eyes remained at Miss Vera. I didn't know what I was waiting for but I just kept looking at her.

"And that is a born designer, keep that in mind."

She gave me a nod, which indicated that she liked my answer.

Breaking out into a smile, I sat down with victory.

"You're so awesome Blue!" My classmate shouted, giving me a wink.

"Shut up Diana, we're running out of time here. The week after our conference week, I am all giving you a one on one chance to talk and ask a renowned designer. It will only be for five minutes, so I suggest you all prepare for what you want to know."

With that, she walks out with her heels making a sound on the marbled floor.

Turning to Rham and Nichole, I gave them a smug grin which they returned at.

"You rocked Miss Vera there."

===

"Do you think it's Lucifer?" Bullet asks me, with a confused expression plastered on his face.

I visibly frowned, thinking that there's no way that Lucifer would have fool me. I believe in him, and I trust him so, even with my own heart.

"No, No... Thank you for your time. I'm sorry I barged in," I apologized, then giving them both a weak smile. Suddenly feeling tired of everything, wondering if I should just go and ask him myself.

No...

That would make him think that I doubt him.

If Max doesn't remember last night, maybe that's a sign from God that it should just be forgotten.

"Do you want us to drop you off?" Max asks worriedly, probably detecting that I wasn't feeling any better.

"No, I am fine. Thank you though, I'll see you both later," I said, smiling at them both before slipping on my shoes and stepping outside of Max' house.

Faced with New York's traffic, I try to walk and not overthink back to the building.

With so much inside my head, that I really couldn't help it- I stepped out from the elevator and stopped from my tracks.

I see Lucifer sitting down on the floor in front of my door as he looks at his phone and types furiously.

Fishing out my phone, I see him texting multiple times.

Not bothering to read any of those, I approached him.

"Hey, why are you there?"

"Buttercup, so good to see you! Where have you been?" He hugged me tight, and the scent of his sweat with his cologne mixed. But it wasn't gross, it only brought out his natural scent which I happen to love so much.

My heart fluttered at how tight he was giving me a hug. It only meant that he truly missed me, with my heart beating so fast I dropped my bag and gave him a hug.

"I've come from Max to ask-" I paused, wondering if I should tell him about last night.

No, erase it from your mind Blue.

"To what?" He asks, cautiously looking at me as if I were a ticking time bomb.

Biting my lip, I shake my head nonchalantly.

"To ask if he was fine, he was really beaten up last night." Picking my bag up from the floor, I took my keys from my bag and opened the door.

As soon as he locked the door, I gasped with surprise when he took me in his arms and instantly pressed our lips together.

Since I was so hooked up with our make out session, I didn't realize that I was already trapped between the wall and his body with my legs wrapping around his waist.

When we stopped to catch our breath, he pressed our foreheads together.

Looking deep in his genuine blue orbs that was showing me how much he cared for me, my heart bursts... How could I doubt this man?

With the new found feelings deep within me, I knew I was in deep s**t for falling for him so hard that I'm afraid I won't get back to my feet without him by my side.

Considering that our bodies were pressed together, I also felt his fast beating heart along with mine.

"You are very special to me baby, and it would kill me if something were to happen for us to be away from each other," He spoke, with that voice of his that always made me swoon over him.

Grazing his cheeks with my finger, I smiled back at him.

"You are too me, baby."

Pulling him in, we shared a kiss once more.

"Earth to Blue Sapphire!"

Blinking rapidly, I looked at Nichole who suddenly called me out of nowhere with an impassive look on her face.

Sheepishly smiling, "Sorry, I zoned out for a bit."

With that zoning out a bit of mine, my mind wandered off to Lucifer and now I suddenly miss that man of mine.

I'll be sure to give him lots of kisses, giggling internally.

Turning to Nichole and Rham, I looked at them both who were looking at me weirdly.

"What?" I ask defensively.

"You look like you came from a honeymoon," Nichole says, arching her brow.

Blushing, I playfully slapped her hands away.

"As I was saying, I met this cute guy. You know, that party we went all together last month or so," She says, with excitement all over her voice.

"How could I forget that, that was one of the parties that you really dragged my ass and got me f*****g drunk as shit." Rham groaned, looking at Nichole with a stink eye.

I laughed but didn't speak up as I waited for her to finish first what she wanted to tell us.

"His name is George and he's so-"

"Wait what, George?" The sudden name suddenly caught my full attention to what Nichole was saying.

"Yeah, he's mine though. You have your Lucifer now," She frowns, looking at me with curiosity plastered on her face.

"You can keep him all to yourself hun, I was just surprised that you know him," I say.

"We met at that party, he was just so charming and undeniably humorous."

I looked at her and saw how her eyes were twinkling at the thought of George.

There possibly could be another George she met at that party.

And as my mind wandered off again...

"But I heard that George guy talk about 'ya." Then he chuckles again and begins drawing figures in the air.

I looked at the rearview mirror, trying to see who was awake other than Max so I could know who he was talking to. When I saw no one but him, I confusedly thought that maybe to me?

"Some words were like, you're so blind to not see it. I wanted to punch his face, l-like you're my friend Blue."

NO.

Erase that thought, Blue.

Do not go there.

"Are you dating now?" I ask to divert my thoughts away from that.

"YES!" She squeaked, and the students inside the whole cafeteria looked at her with a glare. "Sorry," She instantly mumbled.

"You're a w***e, do you know that?" Rham says, with a hush tone but laughing nonetheless.

I laughed along with him knowing fully well that Nichole doesn't like to be called a w***e.

"Hey, I'm not that and plus we haven't even had s*x yet. Speaking about that, did you and Lucifer do that bang s**t?" She asks, chuckling at the terms of her words.

Blushing, they're attention was on me now.

"No, not yet..." Because of that, their attention was on me now.

Oh f**k.

That question suddenly had me overthinking.

Is he okay that we haven't slept together yet?

Closing my eyes, I remember Ametrine's words to never let my guard down and only my husband could get my virginity.

"That's okay, Blue," Nichole says reassuringly.

And with that, I knew that I have good friends.

===

"Theia, how have you been? When was our last call?" I grinned, sitting down on my bed as I faced my only Aunt on both sides of my parents on Skype call.

"Doing great, how I miss you, young child of mine." Her eyes suddenly looked tired and sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked, she sighed and looked straight at me.

"Don't you want to visit your grandparents?"

I gulped, remembering the last time I both saw my grandparents at my mom's side.

It wasn't a pleasant visit, my grandfather Deo kept on giving us glares and especially looking at Patri with a stink eye.

He kept on hinting that we don't have any right to be in their ancestral home in California.

YEAR 2001

"Daddy, where are we going?" My seven year old self asks as I look out the plane window and unto my sleeping big sister, Ametrine.

"To visit someone special." He says with a smile before putting my back in my seat and strapping my buckle.

"Can Lian and Opal come with us?" I ask with a small voice, referring to my other two baby sisters who were so much smaller than me.

"No they can't come, Lian is sick. Remember?" His eyes showed sadness as he took a seat between me and my sleeping sister.

"I hope God heals baby Lian soon. I promise to be a good girl."

I even raised my right hand up to prove my point as a little girl.

"Καλά, να είσαι καλά συμπεριφερόμενη όταν φτάσουμε εκεί λουλούδι μου (Good, be well-behaved when we get there my flower)." Daddy kissed the top of my forehead and also gave my big sister a lingering kiss on her forehead.

He then pulls out his laptop to do work whilst I took my dolls and played with them until I fell asleep.

"Wake up Blue, wake up."

I felt my big sister shaking me, opening my eyes. I blinked continuously since it was so bright everywhere.

"Where are we?" I yawned, my little hands covering up my mouth.

"We're here, get up Blue." Then Daddy took off my seatbelt and carried me in his arms whilst I grasped my dolls to my chest tightly.

He held Ametrine's hand in his as we stepped out from the plane, but as soon as we stepped out the people with cameras began flashing lights at us.

"Patri... the news." I hear Ametrine say as she hides her eyes from the blinding lights of the camera.

Turning to my daddy's chest, I hid my face in his chest as I felt us beginning to walk.

"Leo, Δεν σας είπα να προσθέσετε περισσότερη ασφάλεια για να αποτρέψετε αυτόν τον Θεό που εγκατέλειψε τους ανθρώπους!" I hear him says it with anger but with a hush tone.

Soon, we were inside the car as Daddy was busy on his phone loudly talking with some people.

I grabbed Ametrine's hand and pouted.

"I miss yiayia and pappous." I could feel my eyes getting watery as the thought of my two favorite playmates in the whole world.

"Don't worry Blue, I also miss them but we'll see them soon," Ametrine says, combing my short hair with her short fingers and smiling at me reassuringly.

I snuggled into her side more, ever grateful that God has given me a sister like her.

Then we reached a mansion, maybe a bit bigger than hours.

There were three horses scattered around the house and wide green grass. In the middle, there stood a Mid-Century Modern mansion with bright lights surrounding the house.

It was going to be night time soon, so it gave the night a nice glow to it.

"You will meet your other yiayia and pappous soon." Daddy says, and then rings the doorbell of the house.

"Other yiayia and pappous?" I ask myself.

Then the door was answered with a petite man in a suit looking so formal.

"Mr. Holmstrom, please come in. I will just call Mr. and Mrs. Rochier for your arrival." Then he slightly bowed as if Daddy was a King and let us in.

"Do you think they have dolls here?" I ask Ametrine as Daddy holds both of our hands.

"No, and stay quiet Blue," She shushes me.

Pouting, I then sat down next to her at the couch as Daddy stood up like he was waiting for someone.

My eyes wandered, I observed everything surrounding me and found it to be a little creepy as I could see no one near other than my sister and father.

Then a picture caught my eyes.

"Look, Ametrine, it's mommy!" I excitedly pointed, pointing to a black and white, big picture of mommy at the wall.

"Hey, you're right," Ametrine says excitedly, without Daddy noticing us we both approached the picture and tried our best on reaching it so we could touch mommy's face.

"Don't you dare touch that!"

A loud voice suddenly boomed, catching our attention. Frightened with the voice, I fell to the floor and cried.

"Shh Blue, it's alright." Daddy immediately went to my aid and carried me in his arms as we both approached a couple.

The other one looked a lot like my mommy, and so I cried more.

"Give her to me, Dimitri."

I felt that I was passed unto another person, stopping to see who it was. My little heart's beat suddenly went skyrocket as I did not recognize her.

Looking around to look for my daddy, I cried.

"Don't worry Blue, I am your grandma," She grazes my cheeks with her finger and gives me a loving gaze.

"Can I hold her ma?" A voice asked, turning to see who it was and seeing that it was my mommy's look alike I instantly nodded and even placed my hands out.

She took me from my other yiayia's arms and looked me straight in the eye.

"You look so much like me."

"Enough with that, what are you three doing here?!"

Instinctively, I seek comfort in the woman who looks a lot like mommy.

And when the grumpy old man suddenly took me away from that woman and roughly gave me to my daddy, "You three are not welcome here!"

"Deo, Ametrine and Blue are our grandchildren. Do not be like that."

But the old man didn't pay any attention to the elder woman who looks like a mommy but a mature looking one.

"Out, out!"

"No, Theia. We are fine. And I'm sure they wouldn't need us."

I gave her a small smile.

Trying to forget that bad childhood memory of mine, I focused on my aunt's face. Still reeling from the fact that she really looks so much like mom.

Well, they are sisters.

So they would really look a lot like each other.

"Your grandmother is dying of a brain tumor. Can you not at least be different from your sister and father?" Then her eyes turned angry, almost immediately I snapped out of my dream land seeing her angry eyes.

She does not resemble my mother anymore.

"Theia, I don't mean to be disrespectful. But they've made it clear years ago that they do not want to see a piece of their child. We will gladly respect that!" I made my voice firm, actually defending my sister and father.

How could she be insensitive knowing fully well on what kind of treatment we receive from our God Forsaken Grandparents.

"But it's your Grandma Adreia, Blue. You know she both wants you and Ametrine," She pressed on.

Shaking my head, "No, she isn't my grandmother. She didn't even have the guts to protect us from her husband's hurtful words. I was a child back then, and so was my sister. Grandpa Deo," I spat with so much venom in my voice and paused to take a breath.

"He did not even think of my feelings and Ametrine's, they could rot in hell for all I care," I muttered beneath my breath.

Theia Aliana was about to speak, but due to my scattered emotions I no longer have the desire to look at her and talk to her.

Ending the call, I took a deep breath and laid down on my bed before pulling out my wallet once again and staring at my mother's face.

"Why do I feel like I'm missing something important? Tell me mommy, because I feel some kind of void within me."

Clutching the picture to my chest, I cried silently as I thought of the damned words I used on my own family.

And for missing her so bad in my life, wishing that God never took her away from us.