Christmas' Misery

Chapter twenty seven

[Carlos]

I looked at her while we are having our dinner here in the dining. She didn't talk after I told her everything and became quite until now. I wonder what is running in her thoughts. Does she already believing me now or she still keep on denying at herself?

“Don't you love the food?” I asked after sipping in my wine glass, “Don't you know this is the first food we ate in our first dinner before?” I added.

Christmas dropped her utensils. “Why do you have to tell me that?” She asked, looking down at her plate.

“Because I know you are starting to remember,” I answered, “Stop walking away on it and try to remember because that is your life.”

“There is nothing I remember.” She raised her look to me. “Maybe you are right, I am her but it's not me anymore because I can't remember this and even you. I already had my life in Jacksonville with D–”

“With Duke? That man? For your information, Christmas, I am your husband not him!” I cut her off and didn't stop to raise my voice.

“But I was married to him!”

“And you also married to me and I'm your first husband! It doesn't make any sense.”

She hissed. “This whole thing is the one that doesn't make any sense. Why are you still want me, huh? I don't have any memory. You got nothing but a blank page of me. I am not the Christmas anymore you used to know. It is gone.”

I heaved a sign and placed down my utensils. “Don't you want to bring your old life?” I asked, looking directly at her eyes.

“I-I don't even know if I was her–”

“Answer my question on point.”

“I don't know, okay! Stop putting pressure on my head.”

“Stay with me for one week and I will make it up to you everything,” I begged to her.

“I can't. Duke might–”

“Can't you please stop thinking about him? You are with me, Christmas, and you keep on saying that name!” I yelled at her as I finally lost my tempered, “You don't even know he is cheating on you with her secretary!” I bursted out.

Her yes widened in surprise. “Wh-what did you say? He is cheating on me?”

“Yea, he had been cheating on you since you got depressed after losing your child.”

“No he didn't. He can't do that to me. Why I am going to listen to you?” She glared at me. “I want to go home, Carlos. Take me home now.” She said in the lower of her voice.

“You still want to come back on him?” I looked at her unbelievable.

“He isn't cheating. There is no reaso–”

“He is, Christmas! He isn't the one you thought he is! So, why still coming back to him? I know you know I'm not giving a s**t here.” I stood up as I smashed the table in anger. “You are wiser than this. This is not you.” I said and left her in the dining.

I headed straight in the bar area to drink some rum to ease my anger. I don't want to fight with her about the stupidity she is doing because we aren't yet done at her situation of amnesia thing. I won't let her to come back there again. She isn't belong there, on that man but to me only. This is not fair. I know my mistakes here that I f****d with another girl, her mom and aunt that she thought but this isn't still fair. I never done wrong before this situation goes. All I did was to love her everyday back then but why this should happen?

Knock! Knock!

My thoughts was interrupted when a knocked disturbed the silence here in the bar area. As I looked in the doorway, Christmas was standing while looking at my way. I grimaced and continued drinking the rum bottle in my hand.

“Go in your room,” I ordered without looking at her.

“Can I have one of these?” she asked.

I looked in her way and she is in the cabinet where I took the rum I am drinking. “Get if you like and leave me alone here.”

“Can I have this Gin?” She took the bottle in the cabinet.

My forehead knotted on her presence here. “What are you doing here, Christmas? What are you up to?”

She walks towards me and placed the bottle in the counter. “You told me I will stay with you in one week, right?”

“Yea, and what is with that?”

“What will I have after that one week of staying here?” She arched her brow.

I cleared my throat and turned my chair to her. “If you still don't remember after that week...” I paused and heaved a sigh. “Even I don't want this I will stop and set you free including that has connection with you.” I said and I saw how her face reacted.

“Y-you can do that?” she asked seems I was just a big joke.

“Yea, why not?” I replied and looked back at my rum, “It seems we aren't really meant for each other.” I added and smiled bitterly.

“Okay.”

I looked back at her. “Okay what?”

“I will stay here with you for only one week,” she answered, “Happy now?”

I smirked. “I will be happy if you really came back.” I replied and took a wine glass in my side “You aren't going to drink, right?” I asked, holding the wine glass in my hand.

“I will take this if I am not,” she replied and took the wine glass in my hand.

“Okay, go ahead. Do whatever you want,” I said and drink in my bottle.

The bar area filled with only silence and none of us are talking while we are drinking to our chosen alcohol. I already finished my first bottle and I am now drinking my second rum. Christmas in my side are slowly drinking her gin on her wine glass. her silence is telling me there are lots of thoughts running in her mind. I want to know it but I know she won't tell.

“Are you not going to sleep? It's already 9:30 p.m. you should stop drinking and go to your bed,” I said and about to get her bottle when she hold it tightly in her hand.

“Don't take my bottle. I'm not yet done,” she said tipsy.

“But you already drunk.”

She laughed. “Who's drunk? You?” She pointed her index finger on me. “You really better go in your bed now. Bye, bye!”

I heaved a sigh. “Finish that now. I will wait for you till you done drinking.” I sit back on my chair.

“Oh? I thought you are drunk?” She laughed crazily.

“I am and you are giving me headaches now.” I grimaced.

“You know what? Why don't you just help me to drink this?” She signalled me to give her an empty wine glass at my side. “Let's have a shot. Come on! Give me that empty wine glass at your side!”

I gave her the glass. “You never been in alcohol before.” I said while watching her filling my wine glass, “You always scolding me everytime I am drinking here and telling me that alcohol is bad for our health but now here you are.”

“Because I was not her.” She giggled and gave me the wine glass.

“Whether you have a memories or not, you are her and that's period.” I sipped a little in my wine glass.

“Whateve–Hey! Why did you drink without having a toss with me? Let's have toss first!” She raised her wine glass on the air and I just do what she said.

“Happy now?” I asked sarcastically as I placed down my wine glass in the counter.

“Actually, I'm not,” she said in her lower voice, “I lost my child. How I will become happy?” she looked at me, smiling tipsily on me, “You know what is funny here, hmm? Do you want me to tell you what I found out? Do you want to hear me out, Carlos?”

My forehead knotted. “Tell me.”

Christmas signalled me to come closer to her and she goes in my ear. “Duke killed my child.” She laughed out and pushed me away.

“W-what did you say?” I asked surprisedly.

“You heard me, Carlos. Don't make me repeat it.” She was about to fill her glass again when I took the bottle. “Hey! Give me that!”

“Tell me what he did to you?” I said as I caught her hand.

“Give me back the bottle first. I need one more shot!” she said like a child.

“No this is enough!” I released her hand and spill out the remaining drink in the floor.

“What the hell have you done?!” She pushed me. “Oh, it's okay. I will get another bottle.” She laughed and about to walk away when I held her arm tightly.

“Tell me and I will not repeat it anymore.”

Her eyes remained lock on mine and I can see the sadness in her. “When I am 5 months pregnant, he gave me a vitamins which I thought it really is but I found out it was an abortion pills.” She said in tears and I unconsciously released her arm. “When I got depressed, he gave me an antidepressant which I thought again it is but that is stopping me to get pregnant.” She wiped her tears.

“Why did he did that?”

“Because she is a coward taking a responsibility and he is just craving for sex.”

“And you still want to come back to him after staying with me? That is stupid, Christmas! I will not let you to come back there!”

“I'm not literally going to come back to him. I will just see him to end our relationship that's it.”

“After that you are going to stay with me.”

“No!” She looked at me. “I will not stay with you. You can't stay with a person who doesn't have memories you used to know before. I can't.”

I walked closer and take her hands, holding it together. “Then let's make new memories.” I said between our breathes.

She pushed me away. “I'm going upstairs.” She said coldly and urned her back on me.

Before she could walk away, I pulled her closer to me. “I won't let you walk away from me again.” I said and kissed her torridly. “You will be happy to me just stay with me like we used to be, Christm–”

“Carlos!”

Pak!

Instead of kissing me back, I received a hard slap from her that made me realize what I did. It seems her slaps shook my brain inside my head. Christmas was looking at me angrily and I stepped forward but she distance herself.

“I'm sorry I didn't mean it.” I gulped.

“Yea, save your sorry.” She turned her back on me and left me alone here in the bar area.

“Damn it,” I cussed almost whispered and drink the gin remained in her wine glass, “Ahh! f**k!” I threw the wine glass in the wall and get another rum bottle before I headed in the room that is only besides where Christmas is. It's our room but we can't stay together because it is not anymore before.

In the next day, I woke up with the empty bottle besides me. I can feel the hangover in my head and it's making me lazy to get off here in the bed. I don't have much to do today maybe I will just rest on the bed for the mean time to ease the hangover. I was about to close back my eyes when I heard voices outside my room.

“Christmas, where are you going?” asked of Lili to her, the only maid left here when she is gone.

“I'm going at the kitchen?” she answered not sure, “I want a coffee.”

“Okay I will make you one.”

“No thanks but I can make my own coffee. You don't have to do it for me.”

“But that is my job since I got here, to serve everything to you and to Carlos.”

“Oh? Whatever just lead me at the kitchen so I can make a coffee.

“My apology. Please follow me and I will lead you at the kitchen.”

As I never hear them anymore, I slowly get off the bed instead of staying for a while. I seems like I want to have a coffee as well. Before I goes out in the room, I headed first in the bathroom to wash my face then after that I followed in the kitchen.

“Where is Christmas?” I asked Lili trying look for her here in the kitchen.

“She is in the courtyard taking her coffee,” she answered.

“Okay.”

“She made you a coffee.” Lili handed me the coffee cup. “She made you because you two are both drunk last night. That's what she said to me.”

A smile formed in me. “She still care after all.” I said looking at the coffee in my hand.

“Is there a chance that her memories will come back?” she suddenly asked.

“Yea, and I don't know when and how I will make her remember.”

“Maybe you should start with the places where you love to go together or the usually things you did back then. It will definitely help her,” she suggested.

“That's what I thought. Lili. Thank you.” I tapped her shoulder before I left in the kitchen to face Christmas.