Past Lives

I approached the bathroom to touch up my makeup wearing a smile on my face hurrying as the ceremony was about to start. As I approach the bathroom I hear moans. My brows shot up in surprise, the wedding hasn’t started yet and people were already hooking up. I chuckle under my breath and was about to leave but paused when I heard my best friends voice saying “No one can ever find out about this” I was surprised, I didn’t know she was seeing anyone and it was unlike her to hookup with a random guy at a party, I decide to go back to my room and ask her about the mystery guy later but as I turned to go back I was frozen in my tracks when I heard the male voice say “I know, you know it’s you I love and it just has to be this way for now, I promise we would be together” I recognized that voice, that’s Jay’s voice. My Fiancé, no that can’t be right I said to myself, that’s impossible. I opened the door to see the most heartbreaking scene I’ve ever seen in my life, Emily and Jay kissing, her dress was halfway undone, his tie was on the floor and pants unzipped. My eyes filled with tears, my heart was hurt and my brain couldn’t process the betrayal. “How could you” I said to the both of them my voice shaky, the words barely a whisper. I ran back to my room, tears clouding my vision and falling down my cheeks. I heard Jay say “s**t, Ashley” and Emily crying saying “Ashley I can explain”. I ran back to my room crying, my mascara and tears running down my cheeks. As I burst into the room not bothering to conceal my tears. My mom and brides maid all looked at me shocked my mom asked “darling, what's wrong?” And I broke down in sobs explaining what just happened, they were shocked and asked me if what I saw was true, just in that moment Ashley and Jay both burst into the room trying to explain Jay said “babe it's not what you think” And Emily said “Please talk to me" but I was so hurt I couldn't even look at them. My daughter Mia, who was supposed to be our flower girl and was wearing the most adorable baby pink dress she picked out herself asked “Mummy what's wrong, why are you crying" which only made me cry harder, I thought I had finally found a father figure for her, someone who she could look up too. she called him dad because he had being there since when she was a born and although he wasn’t her biological father he was the only father she knew and not having him in her life would break her heart. My family wouldn’t let them talk to me, through my sobs I could hear my mom say “you need to leave” and ushered them out of the room. I called off the wedding and my world was turned upside down, I lost the two people closest to me and turns out I didn’t even know them at all. It's being a week since what was supposed to be my wedding and I’ve barely left my room or eaten, I still can’t process the hurt and the shame, my eyes filled with tears at the memory again and I tucked myself dipper into my bed. I heard a knock at the door but ignored it then I heard my mom’s voice saying “Ashley honey can I come in? I know you want to be alone but you need to eat something” I ignore her still, I can’t face anyone yet “I’m not leaving this room until you open the door or I’ll have your dad bring the door down” I sign knowing she won’t relent, I wipe my cheeks and open the door. she steps into the room and place a plate of steaming hot food on my bed “Here you go sweetie I made your favorite, pancakes and brought you some ice cream hoping we could talk” “I’m not in the mood to talk mom” I saw her smile drop the hopeful look on her face fade “Okay sweetie, I’ll leave this here and check up on you later” she said with a sad look on her face stepping away from my bed. “thanks mom” I mumbled and I meant it, she looked after me and no matter how many times I turn her down she dosen’t stop trying to get me out of bed and to live again. Mia was at my aunts house and last I heard she was having fun with her cousins and as much as I miss her I cant let her see me like this. She stops right before leaves the room and says “You know… you were so full of plans, ideas, dreams and hopes before you met Jay and decided to settle down with him here in mapelwoods, you wanted to work in big corporations and live in the city, perhaps this is the chance to live out your dreams, a second chance to be the person you’ve always wanted to become, he held you back before, don’t let him do it again” she said and with one last smile she walks out of the room. It's 2:30 am and I can’t stop thinking about what my mom said, she’s right I had a lot of dreams before I met Jay, I was the best graduating student in my School and I had put my whole life on hold when I had Mia, and although I love Jay I stayed so she could have a father figure. Well what’s stopping me now? I think to myself. I grab my laptop and begin to make research on Jobs and apartments, I’m going to the city, I’m going to Brooks Ville.