New Beginnings

  Alex arched her back, easing out the muscles that had tightened from an afternoon of loading and moving a wheelbarrow with mulch for the new garden bed she’d designed. A stray lock of hair fell in front of her eyes and with the back of her hand she swept it back. Perspiration trickled down between her shoulder blades, this personal project had come along so well, even with the preoccupation of opening her third Going Native, garden centre. “Mum!” She turned at the sound of Jack’s voice. His long strides made short work of the distance between the house and the garden area., making her heart clench, the likeness to his father so strong. “Hey you. How was cricket?” “So, so,” he gave a rueful smile, “We made the finals!” “Oh, Jack! Congratulations. You’ve all done so well; you deserve to be there.” “Thanks, Mum.” He slung an arm around her shoulders and at fifteen her ability to see the top of his head had disappeared at least two years ago. “I think I’m done here for today so how about I clean up and we head down to Oneroa for some dinner.” “Okay but first I need to tell you something.” His demeanour had changed in a heartbeat from elated to concern. Alex scanned his handsome face, “Sounds serious, Jack. Come on we’ll walk and talk.” When he dropped his arm from her shoulders, she slid hers around his waist. “It’s about Blake.” “Blake?” “Yeah. I know you’ve never kept any secrets from me, and you’ve always said if I wanted to see him I could.” Yes, the subject of his father had always been out there. When Blake’s parents learned they were to be grandparents, Blake had chosen to fall into line with them and up until Jack’s tenth birthday the only acknowledgement was a card. That year however, Blake had turned up at her parent’s home wanting to see Jack. It had been a disaster of awkwardness and ended in Blake abruptly leaving. “Mum? Did you hear me?” “Of course, I did, and I think you’re saying you want to see him?” “Well, sort of.” “Sort of?” “I went there.” Alex stopped walking, dropping her arm from his waist, “You went where?” “Lucas and I Googled him and found out where he lived.” “And?” “He was surprised.” Alex smiled up at him, “I’m betting he was a bit more than surprised.” Jack grinned, “Totally. At first I thought he didn’t recognise me because he just stared.” Alex entered the garage and Jack followed her through to the laundry where she washed her hands, all the time her heart squeezing  painfully at the thought of him being humiliated. Reaching for a towel to dry her hands she asked, “So, what happened then?” Jacked leaned against the washing machine, “He invited me in which was sort of cool, I guess. Anyway, we talked about a lot of stuff. He asked about school, if I played sport, that sort of thing.” Alex digested Jack’s words carefully, a niggle of annoyance steadily growing in her mind and she pushed it away. She ought to be happy that Jack had this meeting with Blake. Right? When she made for the stairs, Jack followed her. “Then Bimbo Betty arrived,” Jack offered candidly as they reached the kitchen. “Bimbo Betty?” “You know, body like a stick insect, heaps of makeup and to be honest I can’t imagine what a guy like Blake sees in someone like that.” A giggle escaped Alex’s best efforts at control, “Laws of attraction are often inexplicable, Jack.” Jack headed straight for the pantry, “Jeez I’m starving.” He began fossicking through the snack boxes and emerged with crisps and nuts. At almost six feet tall, Jack was still growing into his body. “Don’t forget to have plenty of water,” she reminded him, “The humidity out there is a killer today.” He pulled a glass from the cupboard and a bottle of cold water from the fridge and filled the glass. Alex fully expected him to disappear into his room, but he didn’t. He pulled out a chair and sat down and not wanting to break the moment ,she took another glass, filled it with the cold water and sat down opposite him at the pine table. He munched on the crisps, smiling as he did so. “Do you want to know what happened after Betty arrived?” he asked. Did she? Blake’s love or s*x life wasn’t her concern and for almost fifteen years she had pushed him into a corner of her mind which had stubbornly refused to shut the door on him. But why would it? She had Jack and as he’d become older the resemblance between father and son was not simply there in facial resemblance, there were the mannerisms as well. “Okay,” she replied at length, “I’m listening.” “Cool. Well, Betty’s from New York, a model or something and apparently Blake has only just come back from there. Did you know he was living in America?” Alex shook her head, other than her best friend Marron, Blake was not a topic of conversation she had with many people. Her parents intermittently commented on Jack’s resemblance to Blake but other than that, unless he’d been living in the same street, she had simply assumed he was still in Auckland and preferred to pretend that neither she nor Jack existed. “He got back a couple of months ago and when Betty turned up, he was really pissed off.” “He must have given her his address, or did she Google him like you?” Jack laughed, “Don’t know but he wasn’t happy and when she first got there, she didn’t even realise I was in the room.” While Alex sipped her water slowly, Jack had his glass empty with three long gulps and filled it again. “I know you call her Betty, but what’s her actual name and what did she do when she saw Blake had company?” Jack lifted his shoulders, “Tiffany or something like that.” Alex smiled across the table at her son, “Tiffany?” “Well, it might have been something else. To be honest Mum, I wasn’t all that interested. I doubt I’ll see Blake again and I know Betty Bimbo will not be requesting an audience with me either.” Something in Jack’s voice brought a lump to Alex’s throat. Had Blake hurt Jack with something he said or was he just being his typically insensitive self? She reached a hand across the table and squeezed Jack’s. The little pudgy hand of the toddler had spread and grown into the hands of a man. Hands like his father’s. “What makes you doubt Blake will see you again?” Jack turned his head toward the window, not making eye contact with her, “Jack? Did he say that to you?” She watched him swallow hard and when he turned his head to look at her, there were tears. Who said fifteen-year-old boys didn’t cry? Hers did. “Jack?” “He didn’t have to say anything, Mum,” he choked out, “He’s had almost fifteen years to be in my life and apart from the disaster of my tenth birthday, Blake Winchester has been MIA.” “Do you regret going there?” “Sort of. I mean at the time I thought I’d just show him what he’d missed out on. Me. Jack Winchester. His son.” Alex pushed back her chair and went to him, crouched down beside him while she gently rubbed his back, “You know, not having you in his life is his loss. He might be rich as Croesus, but his life would have so much more meaning if he knew how special Jack Winchester is.” “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I shouldn’t have gone but it seemed like a good idea at the time.” “Don’t let him force you into thinking you made a mistake, Jack. You didn’t. Apart from the safety aspects of doing to…” Alex paused, “Just where does he live Jack? Please tell me you didn’t ride your bike in the city.” He shook his head, “No, nothing as exciting as that. Here’s the thing, Blake lives two doors down from Grandma and Grandpa.” Alex stood slowly. Two doors down from her parents? How was that possible? Surely, they would have seen him? “When exactly did he return from the States?” “He didn’t say but I figured it couldn’t have been that long ago because Grandma’s spy network would have reported a new arrival in the neighbourhood.” Figures, she mused, the only time the spy network might have proven its worth and her parents were away on a cruise. Surely Blake hadn’t forgotten where her parents lived because as a teenager he had lived at their house. Blake’s friendship with her late brother, Jack, saw him at their home daily. During the long summer holidays, he was with them here on Waiheke. She looked at Jack who was absently picking at cashew nuts, “Do you want to see him again?” “Dunno. If I thought he wanted to see me I might make the effort but I’m not going to force him to like me or see me or be part of my life.” Alex squeezed his shoulder, “When did you get to be so smart?” she asked. “Must have inherited it from you.” “Thanks buddy. Okay, so how about I order a pizza to be delivered?” “Two pizzas?” She laughed “Okay, two pizzas,” she handed him her credit card, “Your choice but no anchovies for me.” Jack rolled his eyes, “Would I do that?” Alex tapped her finger on her chin, “Mmm, let me think about that.”   Blake Winchester poured himself generous measure of Balvenie Double Wood whisky and lifted the glass to breath in its distinctive aroma before letting the first mouthful caress his tongue, its smooth, warm texture comforting and reassuring. Glass in hand he strolled onto the expanse of lawn from the open French doors. Three days ago, the appearance of his son had sent him into an emotional spin, something he didn’t allow himself to do. In his pursuit of success only one person had been able to make him want something more and now there were two. Mother and son. Jack, his son. Alex the mother of his son. And he had turned his back on them causing pain and grief, the guilt of his decisions weighed so heavily on him it was an open wound which refused to heal. The actions of his parents and by extension himself all those years ago both embarrassed and horrified him and yet on the one occasion he had sought out Alex and Jack, he turned their world on its head. Again. That was five years ago and not one day had passed since then when the urge to reach out to them, apologise and try and forge an amicable resolution was not foremost in his mind. Five years. He was a coward. He wondered what his peers would think about the giant-killer of the boardroom if they knew what a guilt-ridden coward he truly was. Blake watched a passenger liner slowly make its way past the iconic cone of Rangitoto, the late afternoon sun pressing a golden hue onto the white hull. In the days since Jack’s visit he fully expected either Clemmie or John Porter to be standing on his doorstep, to censure him for his continued lack of manners and empathy toward his son and their grandson. But they hadn’t so he’d decided to make the first move. After all they’d been surrogate parents to him for years, a second son, however, when he’d walked down the long, leafy drive, a nosey neighbour had caught up to him and demanded to know why he was there. That was how he learned Clemmie and John were on holiday. Blake swallowed the last of his whisky and with purposeful strides, headed back to the house, securing the French doors behind him. He was thirty-eight years old and he’d hurt innocent people with his selfish actions, so now it was time to put things right. In his study, he set the glass down on his desk and reached for his phone. For whatever reason, he’d asked Jack for his cell phone number. The phone only rang twice before Jack answered. Blake hesitated, perhaps he should have given more thought to what he would say. “Hey, Jack, it’s Blake.” “Okay. I – I wasn’t expecting you to contact me. I don’t even know why I gave you my number.” “Right. Would you prefer I didn’t call you?” A long pause, then, “No, it’s cool.” Blake let out the breath he’d been holding in, “Good. Um – jeez, I’m no good at this. I wanted to apologise for the way things ended the other day. You know with Serilda being here.” “Serilda? I thought her name was Tiffany.” Blake laughed, “Serilda, Tiffany, I think it’s all the same.” “So, is she still at your place?” “No. She was only in Auckland for a day.” Another long pause had Blake debating whether the call was a good idea. “I told Mum I’d been to your house.” Blake swallowed hard. Jack’s statement wasn’t all that surprising because he was infused with the Porter honesty gene. It would go against everything they family stood for if Jack had kept a secret. “Was she okay with it?” “Yeah. She’s the best, doesn’t judge, doesn’t preach but hell if you piss her off you know you’re going to pay.” Blake laughed again, fuller bodied this time. Oh yes, he remembered Alex and her temper. How many times had he and Jack senior been the recipients of an Alex tirade? “So, I was wondering if you and your mother would like to come for lunch? Tomorrow? Or sometime?” “Geez, I’m not sure.” Blake understood. It was a ridiculous idea. Right? What the hell was he thinking? Alex had been so angry the last time he’d seen her and once he calmed down and realised she was right about everything, he wanted to apologise but too much time had passed. “You still there?” Jack’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Yeah. Look, I get it. I daresay you and your mother have moved on from me, from the Winchester family.” “Well I don’t know that Mum was ever in with your parents, at least not once she found out she was pregnant.” “I know,” he barely heard his own words as the constriction in his throat was so painful even breathing was hard. “But I’d like to have lunch with you, and I guess if I ask Mum she might be okay with it.” Blake waited, his heart thudding heavily against his ribs, the constriction easing a little now and he took a deep breath. “That sounds like a good idea, Jack.” “And we don’t blame you for your parents, well I don’t because I haven’t met them which is a good thing because I actually think meeting them could be detrimental to my health.” Blake laughed softly then became aware of Jack talking to someone. Alex. He could hear the soft murmur of her voice, sultry, sexy. s**t! He didn’t expect Jack to ask her now! “Hello Blake.” The constriction was back, he couldn’t even put his brain into gear to get out a few words. “Blake?” “Sorry, Alex. I wasn’t expecting to speak to you.” “Well, I can end the call if you’d rather.” There it was, the prickly Alex, the one who bristled with indignation when pressed. “No! No, I – invited you both to lunch. On a day that suits you, I guess Jack is still on holiday?” “Yes. He goes back in a couple of weeks.” “So, I’ve taken a few days off because – well, I’m still deciding what to do with myself after returning from the US.” “I see. What about your business?” “Sold it. I got an offer and once I’d made sure the people I employed would be looked after, I signed off on it.” “And now you’re living two doors down from my parents.”  It was a statement of fact rather than a query. “When the agent mentioned the name of the street, I hesitated but the house is nice, it has a lot of lawn and gardens and the views are…” he was rambling so he pulled his thoughts into something more coherent, “There are things I want to say to you and Jack, things best said face to face. You can call me in a few days to make arrangements if you’d rather.” “You said tomorrow?” “I did, yes.” “Where abouts?” “Here. My place, I can pick you up.” He felt her hesitate. Perhaps she didn’t want to have lunch with him. “Alex?” “I – I don’t know, Blake. I mean what is there to gain by going over the past, especially with Jack being there. I don’t want him to be hurt.” “I don’t want that either, but I want to say a few things, I don’t want to argue with you, but I would like to forge some sort of understanding.” “After all these years? I think that ship has sailed, Blake.” “Don’t say that. We were lovers, Alex, you and your brother were my closest friends.” He waited through another long silence, quickly grasping the fact that Alex had moved on. Perhaps there was someone in her life, his conversation with Jack had been relatively brief and the fact that Alex may be in a relationship had never occurred to him. Why not? Alex Porter turned heads, so a man in her life was not so surprising. “Lovers? God, Blake, I thought we were in a relationship but to you we were simply lovers?” “Alex -” “Leave it Blake. No point in raking over past wrongs.” “I’ve made you angry.” “No, to be angry I would have to feel something for you. I don’t. However, I am disappointed for Jack, for all that he has lost in having the right to have a relationship with you.” Each word struck him hard, causing physical pain as though the sharp barbs penetrated his soul, twisting his heart in his chest. “If you want to have lunch with us, we can do it tomorrow. You come here.” “Are you sure? “I’m sure. We live on Waiheke, I’m sure you remember where Grandma Porter’s house is.” “Okay.” “Text Jack when you’re almost at Matiatia and I’ll come down and pick you up.”